Brooke is silent as she watches James feed Kenzie her bottle. He refused to leave the hospital until he could take Kenzie with him. The hospital wanted to keep Kenzie overnight, just to be safe. While everyone else went home, Brooke offered to stay with James, even though the whole night was stressful. James kept bursting into tears and Brooke would have to comfort him until he stopped, which means that she got no sleep last night. She doesn't mind, though. Her baby boy is hurting and he needs someone to be there for him.
She looks at the beautiful baby girl in her son's arms. She loves her new grandbaby. She was overjoyed when she finally got to hold Kenzie, immediately falling in love with the child. Kenzie doesn't even realize what's going on. She's just a baby, so she doesn't understand. She's too young to realize that her mother is dead and her daddy is struggling. She shouldn't have to worry about that.
James puts Kenzie's empty bottle in the diaper bag, proceeding to burp the little girl. He looks like he's on the verge of tears again, so Brooke gently rubs his back. She kisses his cheek before standing up, grabbing the diaper bag. She looks at her son, who is making no move to get up.
"Let's put you in your carrier, princess." She tells Kenzie, removing her from James's arms. She lowers the baby into her carrier, wrapping the blanket around her tiny body. She runs her fingers through James's hair, watching as he stands up with Kenzie's carrier. They walk out to the rental car and put Kenzie in her new car seat. Jennifer let Brooke put it in the backseat of her car so she could pick her son and granddaughter up.
Once Kenzie is in the car seat, Brooke and James get into the car. As she starts the car, Brooke glances at her son. She watches as he starts crying again, unsure of what to do. All he has done is cry and it kills Brooke. She can't believe that they're going home without Jenna. Brooke wasn't too sure about Jenna at first, but she made James happy. That's all Brooke has ever wanted for her son.
"Shhh." She whispers, pulling him into a hug. He buries his face in her shoulder and sobs. She kisses the top of his head and holds him close, letting him cry as much as he wants. She has never seen James in such a vulnerable state before. Even after Brooke and Samuel divorced, he never cried very much. He got angry, but Brooke doesn't recall him sobbing.
"Jenna!" James sobs, shaking as he cries.
"Calm down, honey." Brooke whispers, kissing his forehead. "Let's get you and Kenzie back to the Palm Woods."
James slowly stops crying, even though his tears continue falling. He nods and wipes his tears away. He doesn't want to leave the hospital without Jenna. He wants to go back into that hospital, hear the doctor telling him that it was just a mistake, then take Kenzie to her mommy. He wants to kiss Jenna and tell her how much he loves her...No...He didn't tell her that he loves her!
As he comes to this realization, he starts crying again.
Brooke has to listen to James's crying for most of the ride back to the Palm Woods. She's amazed that Kenzie hasn't woken up. Anyway, Brooke finds a parking space in the Palm Woods parking garage and looks at James, noticing that he has finally fallen asleep. All the stress is tiring him out. She can already tell that Jenna's death and his newfound status as a single parent is taking its toll on him.
"Wake up, honey." She says, stroking his cheek. James slowly opens his eyes, looking at their surroundings. He nods and gets out of the car, opening the backseat door. He removes Kenzie from her car seat and gets out of the backseat, kissing the baby's forehead. He walks to the other side of the car and puts his baby girl in her carrier. For some reason, he feels sick as he looks at the entrance to the Palm Woods. There are so many memories of him and Jenna getting out of his car, walking through that entrance, greeting their friends, and doing whatever. Now she's gone and their life together is over.
As they walk through the lobby, James gets look of sympathy. He keeps his head down, embarrassed by the attention. He has always liked attention, but this isn't the right kind of attention. If he's gonna get noticed, he wants to be noticed for his talent and good looks, not for being the single father whose wife died after giving birth to his daughter.
James leans against the elevator wall, looking down when he hears Kenzie whimper. He looks at his mom with worry, unsure about what to do. He just fed her, so he doesn't know how she could be hungry. She might need a diaper change. Well, she obviously needs something , because her whimpers have turned into sobs. Once they are out of the elevator, Brooke lifts Kenzie from the carrier.
"I think you need a new diaper, sweet pea." She says, patting Kenzie's back. They walk down the hallway until they reach 2J. She and Ms Knight decided that it wouldn't be a good idea for James to stay in his own apartment right now. There's too many memories in apartment 5M, so it would be too upsetting for the poor guy. He needs to be with his friends and family.
When they enter the apartment, James gets more sympathetic looks. At one point, Carlos starts to say something, but stops when James walks to his old bedroom. When the door closes behind him, Katie speaks up.
"Is he okay?" She asks timidly.
"He just needs to be alone for a while." Ms Knight says softly. "Brooke, we told Gustavo and Kelly what happened. They're on their way over."
"How did they take it?" Brooke asks apprehensively.
"They were pretty upset." Ms Knight tells them.
Kendall looks toward his and James's bedroom door, feeling a strong desire to check on his friend. He looks at Carlos and Logan, who follow him to the room. Kendall knocks on the door, frowning when James doesn't answer. He turns the doorknob, relieved when it opens. Then his eyes land on James and his heart breaks for the millionth time since yesterday. James is laying on his side, under the covers, facing the wall. He's not crying, but he's shaking. Reluctantly, all three boys sit on the bed, watching James with concern.
"Bud, Gustavo and Kelly are gonna come over, okay?" Logan whispers, his voice cracking. James only nods in response. He looks so...broken. Why did Jenna have to die? She had a perfectly healthy pregnancy, so they don't understand what happened. Really, her pregnancy was perfect. She got to enjoy feeling her baby kick and shopping for it, now she's gone.
"I wanna go home." James says softly.
"Jay, you are home." Carlos tells him.
"No," James says, his voice cracking. "Minnesota."
"What?" Kendall asks worriedly. "Bud, what about the band?"
"Do it without me!" James snaps. "I can't stay here!"
"James, I know you're upset, but-"
"Upset?" James questions, sitting up. "Upset? My wife died and left me to raise our daughter alone! Of course I'm upset! And I can't believe that you actually expect me to stay here! Do you know why I can't stay here? Because it's too painful! Every minute that I spend in this town is gonna be torture because all I'll think about is Jenna. The only way I'll even consider staying around is if I get my wife back, but that's not gonna happen, so I'm done!"
He lays back down and pulls the blanket over his head. Kendall, Carlos, and Logan give each other saddened expressions, then leave James to grieve alone.
Mandy watches her oldest daughter with sadness and concern. Chris didn't get any sleep last night and she has spent all morning curled up on the couch, refusing to eat or talk to anyone. They've tried to convince her to at least eat something, but she refuses anything they offer to her. They've all been grieving, but Will and Mandy don't wanna destroy their health. On the other hand, Chris doesn't seem to care. She keeps staring at the picture of Jenna on the coffee table, silent tears falling down her face.
"Honey, you need to eat." Mandy says, sitting next to her daughter. She takes a deep breath as she looks at the picture. Jenna was about fifteen at the time and she looked so happy. It was taken around Christmas time during her sophomore year. Mandy wants to cry every time she sees a picture of her baby girl, but she doesn't want to cry in front of Chris. That girl needs someone to be strong for her. That's why she and Will have been trying so hard to keep their composure. They cry together when Chris isn't in the room.
"I'm not hungry." Chris says quietly. She stands up, running a hand through her hair. "I need to go out for a while. I'll be back later."
Mandy wipes her tearful eyes as Chris grabs her car keys and walks out the front door. Will appears next to her, watching Chris. He wipes tears from his cheeks, wrapping his arm around Mandy's waist. She rests her head on his shoulder, finally letting the tears fall. It feels like a piece is missing from their lives. How are they ever gonna fill that space?
Meanwhile
Chris's face is wet with tears as she drives to the Palm Woods. She wants to see her niece, even though she's worried about seeing James. She's just scared about seeing him because she knows that he's struggling. He was a mess yesterday and she doesn't know if he has calmed down yet. What if he hasn't? It broke her heart to see him cry because she has never seen him cry before.
She drives into the parking garage, parks her car, and enters the hotel. He walks to the elevator without much enthusiasm. She is eager to see Kenzie, but she's too upset about Jenna to show her excitement.
When she finally gets to 2J, she sees everyone (except James) sitting in the living room. The overall mood in the apartment is very and Kelly are standing in the middle of the living room, while the others are sitting on the couch. Kelly looks like she has been crying, but Gustavo has a blank expression. He has never been a very emotional person.
"Hi, everyone." She says, rubbing her eyes. "Where's Kenzie?"
"Right here." Ms Knight says, carrying the baby over to her aunt.
"Hi, Kenzie." Chris coos, taking the sleeping baby into her arms. "Ms Knight, where's James?"
"He's in our room." Kendall says softly. "But you need to hear this."
"Apparently, James wants to go home to Minnesota." Logan mentions, wiping some stray tears from his cheeks.
"He wants to quit the band?" Chris says in disbelief.
"He thinks that he's gonna constantly be thinking about Jenna if he stays here." Carlos explains. "He said that he's done."
"What are you boys gonna do?" Gustavo asks them, a hint of sadness in his voice.
"We're sorry, Gustavo, but we can't do this without James." Kendall says apologetically. "We're best friends and we stick together. If James is gonna go back to Minnesota, we're going, too. I mean, remember what happened the last time James quit the band? We tried to get a replacement, we tried being a trio, but nothing worked. Big Time Rush is no good without James! Lets face it! James isn't gonna recover from this overnight. It's gonna take a long time for him to get better and if his heart isn't gonna be in the band, what's the point of continuing?"
Gustavo looks at Kelly, memories flooding back to him. All the times that these dogs annoyed him, their concerts, recording sessions, the laughs, the frustration, all the memories that he ever made with these boys. He's surprised when he realizes that he doesn't actually want them to leave. Sadly, he knows that Kendall is right. James is too heartbroken to focus on the band. A band won't be successful unless all the members enjoy what they're doing. Something tells Gustavo that James won't be very enthusiastic about the band right now. He needs time to focus on being a father.
"Okay." He agrees. "Kelly, what about you?"
"I guess you guys are right." Kelly nods. "Besides, James should probably be more focused on Kenzie than anything else."
Kenzie makes a cute baby sound and moves her arms.
"Do you wanna see daddy?" Chris asks in a babyish voice. She carries the baby girl to James and Kendall's bedroom door, mentally preparing herself before entering the room. James is sitting with his back against the headboard with his knees pulled to his chest.
"Here's your daddy." Chris tells Kenzie, getting James's attention. "Jay, your little girl wants you to hold her."
"Come here." James says quietly, his voice weaked from all the crying. He stretches his legs out in front of him, allowing Chris to put his daughter in his arms. He kisses her forehead and touches her little hand. She's such a beautiful newborn. It's actually hard to believe that she's his little girl. As far as looks go, she looks a lot more like Jenna.
"She's a pretty little girl." Chris says, stroking Kenzie's cheek.
"Yeah." James says without any hint of a smile on his face. Chris frowns at this fact. It seems like no one has smiled since yesterday. A new baby was born and in most cases, everyone would be smiling. Instead, there's pain and emptiness. They all love Kenzie, but they also love her mommy. It kills them to know that Jenna can't be here with them, celebrating the birth of little MacKenzie.