Keyah..
"So this really what you want, Key?"
"I gotta do what's best, Chris.. I hate I took it there with you, cause I'm about to lose my best friend ... I didn't want it to be this way..it changes way too much.."
"He go out and make 2 whole babies on you and you still trying to stick with the nigga...I mean, no disrespect ma but that's fucked up. We had plans, what about all of that?"
"Chris I'm sorry, I never should have went there with you..making plans with you before I resolved my issues with him was wrong I shouldn't have played with your heart like that."
"Keyah I'm in love with you, what am I supposed to do now and what about the tour?"
"You gotta find a way to get over that, the music won't stop. I'll still write for you but this...it has to end today. I'm not saying I'm going back to him right now..I just need to be alone and do some heavy thinking.. We can go back to how it was..me writing for you and everybody else but I'm not performing anymore."
"So this it?"
"If we can find our way through this and still be friends that would be great.. I know it's gonna take some time and it's gonna be weird but.. that's what I want Chris, I don't wanna lose you out my life completely."
"Nah, I get it, so stop crying..we good, just go do what you need to do for you, if you need me I'm here. Imma respect your wishes just don't forget about me."
Chris put his arm around me hugging me.. Trying to calm me down.. This has been the hardset two days of my life..
The night Nova and I talked, I moved out. I needed space and time to myself to think..
It's not that I'm saying his shit was worse than mine its just the fact that as husband and wife we did a lot of fucked up selfish shit.
When he got Monique pregnant that hurt me to the core... at first Chris was just a revenge thing then it turned to something else ..
I don't know what's gonna happen but I know we both need time apart..
"Well you need to get going, have a safe flight and kill the tour."
"Aight Keyah..call me if you need me.."
"I will."
I turned to walk away but he stopped me.
"I love you Keyah."
I decided against turning around to face him.... I just gave him a head nod.
"Love you too."
I said trying to keep myself from crying again... I got in my car and pulled off.
My phone started ringing as I pulled into traffic and I could see that it was Nova.. I haven't talked to him since I left him and he's been blowing me up big time..
I decided to go ahead and answer it cause it's not like he's going away.
I connected the Bluetooth in the car then answered it.
Me: Hello?
Nova: You aight?
Me: Yeah I'm good.
Nova: I just wanted to check on you.
Me: I'm fine Nova.
Nova: I know that you leave for the tour today and I wanted to wish you good luck and... Umm to let you know that I am sorry for hurting you. I know you done with me so, I got the divorce papers for you.. I'm not gone drag it out or fight you for nothing whatever you want you can have just don't keep my daughter away from me that's all I ask.
I had to pull over because this ain't what I wanted and my eyes were welling up to the point I couldn't see.
Nova: You still there?
All I could do was cry I couldn't get any words out out.
Nova: I know it hurt, I been hurting you for a long time now and ion wanna do that no more. I just want you to be happy. When you come back off tour I'll be out the house..
I cried the hardest I've ever cried in my life...sitting on side the road... cars zipping past me lost, not knowing what to say... Then I heard Justin in the background.
Me: You got Justin?
Nova: Yeah she asked me if I could keep him..I ain't doing shit so I didn't see no problem with it. You wanna talk to him?
Me: Nah.. I'll umm I'll let you go.
I said disconnecting the call. I got myself together then pulled off heading home.
____________
Nova...
"You want a pizza or a sandwich Jay?"
"Daddy can I have one of them sandwiches mama Keyah fix me?"
"Talking bout the sandwich with the bread that gotta hole in it?"
"Yes sir."
"Aight I got you.."
I was chilling at the house today with my lil man.. Shit been tough around here...my baybeh packed her bags and left a nigga.. I knew that could have been the outcome but I feel better now that it's all out in the open.
Even though she left me I ain't mad at her..I understand it, she just wanna be happy and I ain't making that happen..so this morning I went and filed for a divorce.. Well I went and got the papers I should say.
Who knows maybe on down the line we can get back to a place where we can be friends.. Hopefully.
While Justin played on his tablet I put his bagel in the oven to toast it ...While I was waiting on that I hopped back on the laptop looking up some houses..
Ion want her to have to go through all of that when she get back home off tour.. While I'm browsing I hear somebody jiggling the doorknob on the front door.. Ion know who that could be but this ain't bout to go like they think it is.. Its broad daylight and niggas wanna break in folks houses.
"Justin..take your tablet and run downstairs, stay there til I come get you..don't move til I come get you son."
He jumped down off the bar stool running down the steps.. once I saw he was in the studio I closed and locked the door to the basement then pulled my pistol out my waistband.. I quickly made my way to the front door looking out the stain glass window that was on the sides of the door..
I couldn't see nothing so I unlocked the door and snatched it open quick pulling Keyah in cause she had her hand on the doorknob trying to unlock the door..
"Girl... You was bout to catch a hot one..what you doing here ma, I thought you was leaving to go on tour today?"
I said. Closing the door behind her.
"I changed my mind..where's Justin?"
"I made him go to the basement I thought you was a Jack boy."
I walked back to the kitchen taking the bread out before it burnt while she went over to the basement door opening it.
"Jay baby come up here."
She yelled down the steps.
"He probably can't hear you He got them headphones in and I told him not to move til I came and got him."
"Oh.. You was about to fix him a sandwich?"
"Hell yeah..he wanted one of them sandwiches you be making him."
"I'll fix it for him you can go get him."
She said walking over to the sink washing her hands. I could tell she was sad, it's written all over face. I was confused about her being here tho..her flight to India had already taken off.
I went down the steps and into the studio where Jay was at.
"Aye..you can come on."
I said motioning for him to come out..he got up running up the steps in front of me.
"Keyahhh!
He yelled once he made it up to the kitchen.. Despite him not being hers she love him just the same as she do Sophie.. She never once did him wrong.
I got up the steps and they were hugging.
"Did you miss me or something kiddo?"
She asked him. I just stood in the doorway watching.
"I did..where were you I wanted to see you when I got here and you was gone."
"I'm sorry buddy..I had some stuff to take care of.. You happy to be out of school for summer?"
"Yes ma'am . Are you going on tour today?"
"No I'm not going today."
I wanted to ask why she wasn't going today but I decided against it..it's not my place to ask no more.
"Hop up on the bar stool while I finish making your sandwich."
She told him then went back to fixing his food.
"So Justin what are you gonna do all summer?"
"I don't know..my mama said that I may stay here with y'all all summer..but I want to go to my granny house with my sister."
"Well if you're gonna be here all summer I don't see why that would be a problem..what does your mama and daddy think about that?"
"I don't know."
"Well you should find out..I'm sure Grammy Shelia would be happy to see you since she doesn't get to see you so much and Sophie will be happy too.. What kind of chips do you want?"
"Umm Doritos please."
"Nacho or cool ranch?"
"Cool ranch please."
She went into the pantry to get his chips while I went in the refrigerator to get him something to drink.
"You want a Sprite ?"
He nodded his head.. Keyah came back out with his chips while I washed the top of the can of soda she opened the bag of chips and poured them on the plate with his sandwich.
"Here you go big guy."
She said sitting his plate in front of him then she went around to his side wrapping her arms around him and laid her head on his head.
"I love you ma."
He told her.
"I love you too son.. Eat your food up, I'll be back down in a minute."
I watched her walk away and could tell she was about to cry.. I hate this shit man.
"Jay Imma go talk to Key, sit right here. I'll be back."
He gave me a head nod as he bit into his sandwich.
I went upstairs into our room and saw her closet light on so that's where I went..I figured she was packing up some more of her stuff..but once I got in there I could hear her crying.
I walked around the corner of her closet and she was sitting on the floor with the divorce papers in one hand and a pen in the other.
"Why you crying ma?"
She continued to cry not even acknowledging the fact that I was in here.. I went over to where she was then sat down on the floor beside her then pulled her over to me holding her just consoling her while she cried.
"You wanna tell me why you crying?"
She pointed to the divorce papers and I see that she signed them.
"You crying because this is what it came down to or are you crying because this ain't what you want?"
"Both."
She replied through her sniffles.
"So you don't wanna get a divorce?"
"No.. But you do I'm not gone fight it , I signed them and I won't keep your child away from you."
"So if we don't get a divorce how does this work? Live separate lives and carry on like we single, like we been doing? I can't do that no more ma if we still married we need to live like it."
"But how tho Nova? We've done some hurtful stuff to each other."
"So divorce me then."
She jumped up off of me about to get up but I pulled her back down.
"Why you trying to leave now..I said that because you keep saying that.. I don't wanna divorce you Key, but to keep saying we did too much to each other in one breath and say you don't wanna divorce me in the next is stupid..
We both know what we did..we both know what we did was wrong we both done confessed everything to each other, yet here we are..sitting on this floor hurting together...
We been through a lot together over the years mostly me fucking up..even in my fuck ups you remained by my side.. I think we can get through this with a lot of work.. Maybe we can get into some marriage counseling or something since neither of us want this."
I said picking the divorce papers up.
"You think that'll help us?"
"I do.. That and both of us making changes in our lives.. I think we can come up outta this."
"I'm willing to do counseling."
"I am too."
"What changes do you think I need to make?"
"Like I said the other night..you gotta end this thing with Chris, I mean I know y'all had a friendship before y'all got involved and all..but the only way this gone be successful is if we remove those people out our lives."
"I did already..I told him it was over and that I was done traveling and performing."
"So if you did it already why you sign these papers?"
"I thought it was what you wanted.."
"Well it's not I thought I was making it easier for you."
"I don't want a divorce..I'm done with Chris and I'm ready to work on us."
"You gone come back home?"
"Do you want me back at home?"
I straight faced her.
"You know I do.. You see how my son lit up when he saw you...that's how I felt inside when I saw you at the door. I thought you was gone, I thought you chose him."
"Nah I stayed at a hotel yesterday and I went to the airport to tell him it was over and that I wasn't going before I came here."
"But what about your career ?"
"I'm done..this is more important, I'll still write but that's it."
"And you sure that's what you want?"
"It is. I'm over it."
"I hear ya...so what is it that I need to change?"
"What do you feel like you need and want to change?"
"First Imma start by finding a trustworthy general manager to oversee all my clubs... So I can be home more.. I'm firing all the dancers I ever messed with.. I'm just gone change the way I handle business period. I don't wanna be so hands on..
That's my first step then it's on to recommitting myself to my wife and my family.. Imma stop drinking and smoking...
I did everything I said I wasn't gone do when I started this club thing... Bought this unnecessary big ass house, bought all them dam cars, started drinking again and smoking.. Gotta make some major changes.
"Yeah I need to stop smoking too."
"Yeah I hate you picked up that nasty habit."
"They calm my nerves but yeah...I can let it go."
"So we gone do this, together, a hundred percent, right?"
"Yeah..we gotta find a good marriage counselor tho .."
"We can do that today..
Keyah ma I do love you, I never stopped..like I said the attention went to my head..but I'm done hurting you.. I'm leaving all the bull in the past and Imma show you I can and will be good."
"Me too.. I'm with you.
Hey you know what the fun part is?"
"What's that?"
"We can have fun falling in love with each other again."
"That is true.. Lets go check on the kid downstairs and we can look up some marriage counselors. Speaking of..what's he doing here in the middle of the week?"
"Ion know..I didn't ask no questions, She popped up unannounced last night around 8 saying she had to go out of town could I keep him."
"That's odd, seeing as how she be trippin when it comes to your regular visitation days."
"Yeah but it's cool I'm glad he here."
We got up off the floor leaving out of her closet.
"Imma clean myself up before I come down.. I'm sure I look a mess."
"Well... I wasn't gone say nothing.. Lol."
She picked up a shoe off the floor throwing it at me as I ran out the room laughing..
I know it's a long hard road ahead of us but that small tiny moment made me remember how much fun we use to have together and why I want her and this so bad.
I made it down stairs and this lil nigga still sitting in the same spot on that dam tablet.
"Did you get full Jay?"
He looked up at me.
"Yes sir. I came upstairs to ask if I could have a fruit roll up but y'all was talking so I just came back down to wait."
"Oh..yeah I'll get you one. After you finished with it go brush your teeth tho."
"Yes sir... Daddy can I ask you something?"
"What's up lil man?"
I asked leaning over the counter in front of him passing him his candy.
"Are you and mama Keyah getting a divorce?"
"Nah lil buddy we not..we just going through a rough patch but we love each other too much to break up. Why you ask that?"
"My mama said that Keyah got another boyfriend She showed him to me and it was uncle Chris."
"Nah I'm her husband your mama shouldn't even be talking to you about stuff like that because it's grown up business..but since she did I'll let you know that me and Keyah going through some stuff but we not breaking up, aight?"
"That's Right..your daddy and I are gonna be just fine."
Keyah said walking up behind him tickling him.
I'm glad we working this out.. We got a lot of work to do and a lot of changes to make... Getting out this big ass house is at the top of the list...when we moved in here is when the bullshit started..
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