09:16.
radiance.
decadent.
shining.
love?
//
bleak light sieved through the crack in the thick clouds.
baekhyun's heavy eyes slowly opened; the weight of his eyelids accompanying the throbbing of his forehead. it was a dull throbbing, though. not particularly unpleasant or irritable. just that it reminded him of last night, and the drinking and the laughing and the smiling.
of roma.
he chuckled at the thought; laughing underneath his breath, head resting on his pillow.
last night; bare skin, blue bruises and crumpled bedsheets.
sun was dull but somehow harsh: filtering slowly. and baekhyun couldn't help but admit that he missed the warm sensation of the foreign sunshine dancing across his face, in a way that relaxed him and made him feel at home. just the sheets were crumpled beneath their legs. roma's warm body rested beside his arm, sleeping heavily.
he rubbed his eyes roughly. pressed his palms to them. they were squeezed shut, not reactive to the beckoning of the dawned morning.
baekhyun had missed that: the rush. running through the streets, tasting freedom and forgetting; connected. able to control everything with a flick of his senses and the touch beneath his fingertips. the racing sparks and heartbeats mirroring onto her feverish, blushing skin and her contagious, beautiful laughter.
he swore, even in the blinding, morning light, he could visualise it all now.
roma's darkened eyes staring up at him from underneath the thick eyelashes that rimmed the diamond shape of her vision; her tight clothes straining to every inch of her perfect frame; her teeth gently biting her lower lip, red caught in between. baekhyun remembered the soft feel of her hand as she traced a whisper of gentle touches and fingers across his revealed skin, exposed by his unbuttoned shirt.
dazzling, parisian lights had reflected off of her features; the same lights that ignited the fire in her eyes and the unknown passion in her actions. she'd taken initiative--maybe, even, control--of the situation, wrapping her arm around his and pulling him across the pebbled streets.
baekhyun couldn't come to terms with the warmth he felt in the pit of his stomach, or the butterflies. or how he smiled just at the sight of her, and he turned now, met with her sprawled-out figure, sleeping peacefully, her pale features resting. red lips, still.
he smirked slightly, as he noticed the little purple and pink marks trailing down the plain of her neck, disappearing beneath the mess of her dark hair and her crinkled white t-shirt. remnants and markings. memories.
baekhyun sat up in bed. a stale taste rested in his mouth; lips dry and cracked from drinking and kissing. he pushed his hair back, removing the stray strands from his forehead. humid air matched the misty clouds. from his seated position, the city stretched out beyond in a grey expanse of towering buildings and old architecture.
the eiffel tower in the distance, dark and protruding amid the thick clouds, cowering along the horizon. still and ominous, somehow. eyes squinted, focusing hard, using all his brain power: the sunshine filtrated through; breaking across the skyline.
sun rays beamed, then stopped, just like that, returning the sky to a dismal and bleak outlook. baekhyun felt the electric sensation subsiding.
he needed more.
more than just his ability to do this. roma turned over, slowly, body twisting between the thin, hotel sheets, facing away from him. baekhyun felt the weird feeling in his stomach again.
his shirtless body was met with a cool breeze of air, one that reminded him of roma's hands trailing him, gently caressing every inch and every corner. he sat up in bed, wondering, not sure what to do, really.
normally, he'd gather his scattered clothes and his shoes, shove them on and then, as quietly as he could, he'd open the door and discreetly disappear, careful not to make any noise whatsoever. leaving the girl behind to wake up with the same regret and overwhelming disregard that he usually experienced.
but now, his urge to stay was overpowering. of course he wasn't going to leave her. out of the question. ignoring the exhaustion that overcame him, baekhyun got up to have a shower, letting the sheet slide from his naked form. the wind let in a stronger gust of fresh air.
the furniture in the room looked even more plain in the morning light. had that same hotel room vibe of emptiness. he wished it wasn't so quiet.
baekhyun took a quick shower.
it was with a cigarette resting between his fingers and a cup of coffee in his hand, arms slung casually, leaning over the balcony, that she woke up.
the sun brightened: ever-so slightly.
baekhyun could hear her from through the blinds and the ajar door. a slight stirring; she was probably pulling on his shift from last night to cover her lower half. baekhyun smiled.
roma's small arms had come to circle around his waist, chin just about managing to rest on his shoulder.
"good morning, beautiful."
and she'd smiled--glowing, a bright glimmer of light accompanying her beam--bringing her hand up to cover her mouth to hide her creased lips. her soft skin had skimmed past his, bare arms against bare chest.
roma had commented on how vibrant and pretty paris looked, and baekhyun had reiterated by placing a small kiss to her forehead and telling her that she was way more beautiful. she'd giggled, cheeks flushing, bowing her head away. he'd tried not to notice the slight uneven nature of the wobbling horizon; how the colours faded in and out--he gulped--and reminded him of the light switches.
on and off.
what had he done?
she'd laughed obliviously; throwing her hair back behind her shoulder. thin white material rested comfortably; wavered against the breeze. roma played with his fingers, interlocking them with hers: fragile skin. baekhyun ran a hand through his hair. he could feel it. palpable: tangible, like a weight clawing to the gradual wind.
maybe he was just imagining things. baekhyun shrugged; shook himself free of the thought. prickles up his arm.
"do you wanna go and eat?" he asked, grinning. pressed his nose to hers.
a momentary pause, as their lips touched.
"sure," she replied happily, interlocking their fingers. roma dragged them both back indoors from the balcony. bare feet and bare skin.
pretty smiles and fluttering eyelashes.
baekhyun was thinking about how different roma was, how much she'd changed from their first encounter. her fluid and elegant movements now replaced the clumsy and stumbling ones, her hand holding his with purpose, guiding him. he complied, no argument, letting her.
they pulled on some more clothes, both not really presentable, roma's hair twisted into a loose ponytail.
left the room.
the hotel corridor seemed a lot different in the morning. plain and static, showing no temptation.
it was at breakfast, surrounded by the filtering sunshine and the presence of strangers minding their own business, that he felt it again.
no. fuck. no, no, no.
baekhyun could feel his fingers clenching beneath the table, knuckles tightening, legs twisting in between each other. opposite him, roma brought the coffee up to her lips, shirt hanging off her shoulder, eyes conveying emotions that she wasn't speaking.
mouth quivered: speak.
eyes darkened. hers, as well as his. like the clouds.
"baekhyun?"
soft voice, like he remembered, that same worried tone lacing her words, her mug placed slowly back onto the table. roma pushed her hair back behind her ears. her features were anxious, as if she hadn't noticed before.
now, she did.
suddenly, her face and being seemed like the only lit-up thing in the world. everything in the background--the trees, the rushing cars, people crossing the road, the buildings--distorted into a colourless maze of black and white. her piercing eyes shone brighter than ever. he wanted to touch her.
"is everything okay?" she asked, her crystal-clear eyes penetrating his. inquisitive; too many questions for him to handle. mind-fucking him.
not again.
tables full of people and happily-unsuspecting strangers. enjoying themselves, not noticing the paling of baekhyun's expression or the rapid tapping of his foot on the pavement. roma tried to reach out, trying to figure him out, but he blocked her, retracting his hand.
she probably couldn't see. couldn't tell. only him.
he winced at the sadness of roma's countenance, the good times and the happy memories suddenly forgotten, taken from her smiling lips and rosy cheeks, drained from her cheerful expression. her chin drooped ever-so slightly, lips trembling. her hands weaved together. she was anxious.
"baekhyun, please, i'm..."
she didn't even bother finishing her sentence. it was brewing, the clouds up above swirling into a mass of darkening colour, navy-blue dissolving across the sky. the sun was covered up. roma's hair was whipped to the side, flailing behind her as she looked upwards, her shirt battered against the strong and powerful natural forces.
fear.
the cold seeped in through his clothes. a warning, maybe. must have been.
baekhyun shot up, his chair clattering to the stone ground beneath him. why was no-one else moving? people continued to eat breakfast, to converse, enjoying each other's company. no-one was noticing.
apart from roma, who was close to tears, the rim of her eyes exposing her; she tried to stand up, too.
baekhyun really felt the sparks now, in his bloodstream. part of him. his head seared, as he brought his hands up to clutch the ends of his hair. no. his shirt stuck to his body uncomfortably, in awkward places. baekhyun was bent down, on his knees.
almost, he thought he saw kai, out of the corner of his eye. by the tree, over there. maybe he was calling for him; needed baekhyun's help. that same fear is his own eyes.
stop.
it couldn't be. but then the mirage dissipated in a flash, kai's tall form imaginary. all in baekhyun's head, he assumed. vanished from sight.
"baekhyun."
roma, he wanted to say.
he ran.
through the main entrance, past the foyer, up the stairs. momentarily confused by how no-one else was affected. people simply regarded him, slight frowns forming on their faces, but no panic. nothing.
he could feel the pressure of it following his rushed footsteps. god, he thought he'd made it stop. everything blurred into one mass of ominous dark, walls wavering, the ground flowing. dizziness overcame him, translating his movements into a jagged line.
the door of their hotel room was burst open. once inside, the fear struck him again. the balcony doors were banging, open and closed, against the frame from the force of the wind. curtains fluttered dangerously. the darkness of the sky masked his view of the people down below, the vortex of indigo and violet signalling the storm.
baekhyun clutched the doorframe for support, his knees almost buckling. he didn't know what he was supposed to do. how to stop all of this. forcing himself, he ran straight to his dirty pile of clothes strewn across the floor, searching all possible pockets, violently throwing things aside.
found his phone.
heart beat like thunder against his chest, echoing within him. his shaking fingers fumbled desperately with the passcode, trying to find sehun's number.
held it up to his ear: silence. it rang; once, twice, three times.
pick up.
"baekhyun, what the fuck is going on?!" sehun answered, his voice strained, his ragged breathing heard down the receiver. hard breaths. baekhyun could hear the howling wind on the other end.
"sehun, listen, where's kai?"
baekhyun slumped against the wall, needing support, his legs splayed across the floor. limbs shook frantically, hand barely able to hold his phone.
"i don't know. he's gone. baekhyun, what the--i don't even know what's happening right now, i-i can't control it."
sehun sounded pained; desperate. his voice surged worry throughout baekhyun's trembling form. as sehun uttered his admission, all the lightbulbs smashed, glass shattering to the floor into a million shards. he thought of roma, wondering why he couldn't see her right now.
wondering what her beautiful mind was thinking, and what her tear-stained eyes were seeing.
"we need to--"
"what?!"
baekhyun didn't know. breaths escalated, getting caught in his lungs and his throat. couldn't breathe.
can't breathe.
"baekhyun, it's your fault, you know what you have to do."
tornado forming. in the distance, surrounding the city. spiral of destruction.
he couldn't.
"no," he whispered, amidst the uproar. felt like screaming. the room around him span, throwing everything aside, furniture splintering and clothes flying.
"baekhyun, do something!"
"i can't!"
"baekhyun." it was kai now. he was standing, feet apart, in the corner of the room, in front of baekhyun, in a similar crouched and pained position. "please. please, do something."
he vanished, again.
"kai!" baekhyun yelled.
do something: what?
"baekhyun, you have to--"
phone went dead.
but the noise was unbearable.
baekhyun felt so alone.
he needed her.
but he couldn't have her.
the storm grew. he wrapped his arms around his cowering body, slumped against the wall, and.
waited.
//