Toya.
11:57 pm
St. Ann's Hospital
I was in my hospital room, bending forward with my hands on the wall taking deep breaths before this I was walking around the damn hospital in this damn hospital gown nothing was working the closer together these contractions got the worst I hurt .
I was only five centimeter so I had to stick it out cause I had five more to go, drug free.
I wanted to do it this way and I promised myself and baby girl I wouldn't have her come into this world doped up I only pray I can get through this.
The nurse had just left to prep everything for the water birth in the next room something I was excited about in the beginning of this pregnancy now I just wanted this over and done with.
While the midwife stayed back with me and the girls keeping track of the contractions while Mark stood behind me massaging my lower back trying to ease the pain.
"How you feeling Toya?" Serai asked.
"Shut up, don't talk." I told her as another contraction hit, my fists tighten eyes shut I grind my teeth as I waited for it to stop, when it did I relaxed a bit.
"Okay," I breathe deeply.
"It stopped?" She asked I nodded.
"Yeah." Pushing off the wall I went back over to the bed.
Getting in on all fours I rested my head on the bed while Mark continued to try to comfort me.
"Baby I can't take this." I whimpered to him.
"I know it hurt baby I know your uncomfortable but just think not much longer we'll be meeting our baby girl face to face." He stopped massaging me to come closer to speak fave to face.
"Yeah." I smiled weakly.
"Just remember that and you'll get through this, I'm so proud of you baby." He kissed me.
"Okay. Can somebody get me more ice chips please ."
"I'll go." Tamia volunteer.
"I'll come with you, these niggas taking forever with the food." Serai says leaving the midwife Lisa with Mark and I behind.
"How are we doing in here?" My doctor walked in asking.
"I'm in hell here doc have I gotten anywhere?" I asked straight away .
Checking the machines she looked at me with an apologetic look "I'm sorry LaToya."
I turned my head from everyone's veiw but Mark's and let the tears I been holding onto flow freely .
I was just beginning to get frustrated I knew it took time but this pain was getting unbearable.
I didn't know how much more I could take so I did what I always did when I felt I couldn't handle what was being thrown at me.
I prayed.
I prayed for guidance and patience with this delivery and our baby was alright and will just hurry the hell up.
••••
3:07 am.
I am don't know why I was complaining about the pain earlier that was nothing to the I was feeling now.
I was now in the bath with Mark behind me. The warm water seemed to help easy the pain I was feeling within but it wasn't enough.
"I want the drugs ." I said to no one in particular thinking they'll go find my doctor telling her what I said but no instead I heard Mark having opinion like it was asked for.
"No baby we agr—"
"I give no fucks on what we agreed on I want the drugs!" I snapped.
"I'm sorry LaToya but you're past the point of being able to receive the epidural." My midwife told me.
I cried, I held Mark's hands and cried.
"It's going to be okay baby stay calm." He whispered softly to my ear before placing a kiss to my temple.
"Okay we're ten centimeters I see." My doctor came in and said.
"Why the tears?" She asked.
"She wanted that good good that y'all got but she too late so.." Serai says.
"Good Good?" Doc asked puzzled.
"Epidural." Tamia cleared it up.
"Oh, well I can't help you get any 'good good' but at this rate it won't be needed."
"Okay." I spoke softly trying to be these tears to stop.
"Okay it's time to choose who you want in here when pushing."
"Just Mark and my midwife. I'm sorry I live y'all but ain't nobody besides Mark and these two ladies seeing my vajayjay."
"Okay let's get started, I just have to check the baby's heartbeat. Open your legs."
Opening my legs she placed the heart monitor inside moving a little til the beats of my baby's heart was being heard loud and clear from the machine.
"Good now LaToya I'm a need you to lift your legs up and Mark I'm going to need you hold one end while Lisa holds the other.
Okay now I'm a count to ten and each time I do so I'm going to need you to push as I'm counting okay. Alright let's do this." She began to count.
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight , nine and ten breathe." I did as she couched.
"And again one, two, three..." each time she told me to do this I did and if it was wasn't for Mark's soft whispers I probably would've given up.
"I see hair! Come on LaToya you can do this. One, two, three... "
"Ugh!"
"She almost here baby, come on show her how strong her Mommy is." Mark said close to my ear.
"Her heads fully out, let me see them shoulders."
"Push baby push!"
"Almost, almost!"
"Aaahhh!!!!!" I screamed.
Then there it was a cry, a loud and clear as day cry our baby was born.
As she was lifted from the water she was placed on my chest, her eyes closed but her cries were more than enough for me at the moment .
"My baby." I cried, Mark was silent behind me but he moved his hand to touch her cheek.
"Our baby." I smiled up at him .
Our baby...
"What you think we should name her." He asked.
I stared at her for a second before I respond.
"Genesis. Genesis Kali Parks, that's her name." I smiled as she finally opened her eyes.