Yesterday, my Mum had taken Kasey-Ray and I for a walk to show us the way to school. Before I knew it, Monday had arrived and with it brought the first day of school. I awoke feeling sick with nerves. I was up, dressed and ready to leave by 7:45am. School didn't even begin until 8:50am and it was only a walk there from my house. The nervous waiting around was excruciating. Rather than go downstairs to wait, I decided to go and sit on Kasey-Ray's bed and talk to her, whilst she finished getting ready. Kasey-Ray was actually really excited, which had made a nice change from all the crying and complaining she had done this past week.
On the walk to , Kasey-Ray was chattering on about all the new friends she would make and out loud whether there would be any good looking guys here. I don't think she completely realised how people gravitated towards her and how most boys at our old school would have crawled over hot coals just to get a 'Hi' from her. She was a year younger than me, but could easily pass for 16, .
As we walked through the school gates, I noticed people had already stopped to stare at us. oblivious to the shift of attention. I tried not to look around; I either looked at Kasey-Ray's face, or at my feet. I was kind of relieved when we stepped through the reception doors.
"Hi, I'm Kasey-Ray Tait and I'm starting here today." She told the receptionist in her most polite voice. "And this is my sister, Erin." The receptionist looked in my direction and seemed to stare at me in shock. She quickly looked back at Kasey-Ray, with a forced smile.
"If you would just take a seat the Mr Jenkins, will be with you shortly." Without a second glance at me, she quickly turned to the telephone behind her.
Kasey-Ray was still talking although I wasn't sure about what. I had tuned her out as we passed through the school gates; I just nodded here and there so she would think I was listening. I still felt sick. I should be used to people gawping at me, they always have, but it still didn't make me feel any better when people couldn't look at me without turning away.
"Kasey-Ray? Erin?" A tall, slim man wearing a tweed suit, with leather elbows and , stepped through a door next to the reception desk.
He didn't look at me the way the receptionist had, which was a welcome relief. The receptionist had probably warned him on the phone, I told myself. He stretched out his arm and shook both of our hands.
"I am Mr Jenkins, The principal here. Let me be the first to welcome you both to Galladale High School." He paused to smile at us both in turn. Looking like he was waiting for one of us to say something, when we didn't he continued. "Well, if you would like to follow me, I will show you to your form rooms."
On the way, he explained what the school expected from its students, the times for lunch and other . He also told us that should we ever have any concerns, we were not to hesitate going to see him. Kasey-Ray was the first to be shown to her form room. Before entering, she fiddled with her clothes and hair, asking if she looked okay, I told her she was perfect and she smiled widely as she followed Mr Jenkins into the room, where he proceeded to introduce her to the form teacher and in turn the rest of the class. All this time I hid out of sight behind the doorframe with my back to the wall until Mr Jenkins reappeared and closed the door behind him.
When we reached my form room, I stood hesitantly in the whilst Mr Jenkins introduced me. I heard a few people snigger when they saw me; some even craned their necks and moved their chairs so they could get a better look at the new girl, some making repulsed noises. I did my best not to make eye contact with anyone and I wished I'd tried harder. I felt someone at the table near the door looking at me, I looked around to see a red haired girl glaring at me with a look of pure hatred in her unsettled me and sent a shiver down my spine. Luckily, my form teacher called my name allowing me to break eye contact with the girl and her hate-filled glare. Ms Forrester was a short, stout, well-dressed woman, who gave me a warm smile.
"There are a couple of tables at the back, if you would like to go and take a seat," she pointed to the tables at the back of the classroom on the right hand side, one in front of the other. I decided to sit at the one furthest to the back.
At lunchtime I spotted Kasey-Ray sat at a table surrounded by most of her year who listened intently to every word she said. Smiling to myself, I decided to leave her be and go somewhere quiet to eat my lunch alone. As it wasn't raining, I decided it would be nice to go outside and find a nice quiet spot. I walked past other students, who quickly moved away from me to whisper to their friends.
"Have you seen her face?" I heard one girl ask.
"I couldn't exactly miss it," Her friend sniggered.
"It's like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down," the first girl laughed. Fighting back the tears, I focused on the doors that led to my freedom. When I finally got outside, after what seemed the longest few paces I had ever walked, it took all my willpower to stop myself from walking across the schoolyard, through the school gates and all the way home.
Instead I found a spot at the far corner of the school field. I laid my coat on the ground and sat down on it, pulling out my packed lunch as I composed my thoughts. I sat staring at the contents for a good five minutes, my thoughts a blur, going over and over what had just happened. I picked up an orange and sat squeezing it in my hand.
"I wouldn't let them get to you." The voice startled me. He had messy brown hair and the most amazing eyes I'd ever seen, like the colour of a blue-green ocean. I gasped, somewhere between shock and amazement. I don't think I had ever seen anyone so beautiful before. He didn't smile though. He just looked at me with interest. To my he didn't even seem to be repulsed by me, unlike nearly everyone else that morning.
He turned his head to the side and looked down at the orange in my hand, which I'd forgotten I was holding. I looked down and saw that orange juice was seeping through my fingers dripping down onto my coat. I opened my hand to examine the orange, but all that remained was a messy pulp. Before I could clean up the mess, I heard more rustling through the bushes. I looked up just in time to see three more boys were standing there, along with a girl, all five now watching me intently. I started to feel nervous, but before I could do or say anything, the tallest boy with spiky red hair and freckles nodded at me, then turned to face the rest.
"Let's go." With that they all started heading towards the school with not a single backward glance, not that I expected them to. I just wanted to take one more look into the blue-green eyes of the first boy; they were so mesmerising.
After school, I sat on a wall near the school gates waiting for Kasey-Ray. I was not surprised to see her walking out surrounded by admirers.
"Erin!" She shouted loudly, making everyone look from her to me. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me where I sat. We walked to the gates and came to a halt; I shuffled impatiently from one foot to the other as I waited for her to say her goodbyes.
I glanced around. The boy I had seen into the passenger seat of a black Fiat Punto with two of the boys and the girl that I'd seen with him. The boy with the spiky red hair was leaning against the car talking to him whilst looking around, obviously searching for someone. Then his eyes met mine and I quickly looked away, embarrassed that I'd been caught staring.
Kasey-Ray still hadn't finished her goodbyes, and from the corner of my eye, I spotted the red haired girl, from my form room.
She hadn't spotted me, but I watched her curiously, as she walked towards the car park and straight to them.
That was who the boy had been looking for. He put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head, and for once she looked like she was smiling.
I slowly looked back to the boy in the passenger seat and he was looking right at me. My heart sped up. He quickly looked away and I felt her eyes burning into me furiously.
Jessica Watson. I'd learnt that much from form room today. I noticed the spiky-haired boy pulling her away as the boy in the passenger seat stared down at the road, like he was .
"Ready?" The sound of Kasey-Ray's voice made me jump. I quickly looked at her.
She was looking at the car with the good looking boy in it as it pulled away.
"Who was that?" She looked me with a smile.
"No idea," I shrugged, as she looked at me thoughtfully, then smiled.
"Okay, let's go."
***
The next day, I walked into my form room and sat straight at my table at the back of the room, ignoring the stares from my fellow classmates
"Who the hell do you think you are?" boomed Jessica, as she stormed to where I sat. I opened my mouth to try and speak. Before I could find the words, she shoved my table into me, nearly sending me backwards in my chair. Luckily there was a wall behind me to stop me falling.
"Listen you freak!"
I swallowed hard, trying not to cry. My ribs were hurting from the impact with the table, and I was turning beetroot from everyone staring and laughing.
"I want you to stay away from Sean. Don't look at him or think about him, and if you see him, you best walk the other way!"
Sean? That was his name? The sound of his name gave me goose bumps.
"Hey, I'm talking to you." Jessica pushed the table again. Not as hard this time, but hard enough that I had to bite my lip, to stop from crying out. "Do I make myself clear?" She leaned forwards and glared at me, all I could do was nod.
Then she turned to walk back to her own table, just as Ms Forrester walked through the door.
***
At lunchtime it was raining outside, so I went and sat at a table in the far corner by myself, ignoring everyone looking at me. I knew eventually they would get bored and find some other monster to stare at. Well, I hoped so anyway.
I had just finished my lunch, and was thinking about how I would get through my lessons this afternoon.
"No oranges today?" I jumped and looked up to see Sean standing at my table.
" ." I managed to stutter, as my cheeks flushed bright red. I looked past him to see most people staring and whispering.
"I suppose that's a good thing." He waited until I looked back at him, "We don't want any more oranges being murdered now, do we?" He tilted his head to the side and smiled. It was the first time I'd seen him smile. It made his eyes sparkle. He was even more beautiful when he smiled.
I nervously glanced down at the table. When my eyes returned to his, the smile had gone, but his eyes were still warm and inviting.
He continued to look at me, like there was something he wanted to ask.
"Jacko?" Someone shouted from the other end of the , making him look behind him. He was about to walk away, but slowly turned back to me.
"Nice seeing you again!" Then he turned and walked away.
I was still staring after when I noticed Kasey-Ray trying to catch my eye. She smiled, waved, and then pointed to her watch. I looked down at mine and saw I had just five minutes to get to class.
***
I managed to get through Science easy enough. It took a lot to try and listen to what the teacher was saying. My mind kept going back to Sean.
His beautiful face, eyes you could swim in, and a smile that could break hearts.
Before I knew it, class was over and it was time for P.E. I wasn't the sportiest of people and would rather sit on the sidelines and watch.
Walking into the changing rooms, I placed my coat and bag on a peg. I was about to start getting changed when my head slammed against one of the pegs and I fell to the floor. I looked up to see Jessica standing over me.
"What did I tell you?"
.
Before I could reply, Mrs Taylor appeared wondering what was keeping us all. She saw me slumped on the floor, blood dripping down the side of my head.
"What happened?" She asked, as she pushed through the other students, who were crowding around me.
By this time, the blood was on my white school shirt and Mrs Taylor was looking around at the other girls faces, demanding to know what had happened.
"She fell and hit her head on the pegs." I heard Jessica purr innocently. Mrs Taylor looked back to me.
"Is Jessica telling the truth?" Even though she asked this, her voice was full of scepticism. I nodded and started to pull myself up.
"Exactly what she said."
Jessica gave a smug smile, and then turned back to Mrs Taylor.
"I can take her to the nurse's office, if you like?" She smiled like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.
Mrs Taylor sighed, and after looking back and forth between us, she finally spoke.
"Okay. Jessica, you take her there and come straight back."
For a while Jessica and I walked in silence. Her hands gripped tightly to the top of my right arm, her nails digging through my shirt.
Just before we got to the nurse's office, she spun me around and threw me against the wall, placing one hand on my throat, and the other she traced down the front of my body, stopping once or twice to jab her finger into me.
"I won't tell you again." She spat, her face so close to mine I could feel her warm breath. "Next time, it won't be the nurse's office you end up in!"
I felt warm liquid trickle down my legs. Jessica must have smelt it, as she quickly released me after giving me a final shove against the wall. She looked from the puddle on the floor, then back to me.
"You disgust me." She said with pure venom. I couldn't understand the hatred she felt towards me. But I did know that I would stay as far away from Sean as I possibly could.
I told Kasey-Ray the same story Jessica had told Mrs Taylor. I had fallen; she seemed to believe me and didn't question me further.
I still couldn't understand why Jessica hated me so much. From the second I had entered my form room, she had glared at me with pure hatred in her eyes and this was before I'd even laid eyes on Sean. Why did she want me to stay away from him? Why would she feel threatened by someone like me? It wasn't as if he would ever find me attractive. I was a freak and the huge birthmark on the side of my face showed this. He could have anyone he wanted. I didn't know why he even took the time of day to talk to me.
Another thing, he looked too old to even be at school. Whenever I saw him and his friends, they never on. So why would they be on the school grounds, let alone be inside the school?
on the first day I met him, did he and his friends come through the bushes?
My emotions were all over the place. At first, I was scared and hurt, and then I was confused, now I was starting to feel annoyed. It's not like I had asked for this attention. Most people ran a mile when they saw me.
He didn't even seem to notice the ugly birthmark on my face. Or, if he had noticed it, he had never looked at it. Whenever he looked at me, he looked deep into my eyes. It was as if he was searching for the answer to some unspoken question.
We had only just turned into our street when my Mum came flying out of the front door.
"Erin!" She cried, running towards us. "I'm sorry, your Dad and I were out shopping when the school rang, or we would have come to collect you." She told me as she started to examine me, right there in the street.
"Mum, I'm fine!" I tried to reassure her, as Kasey-Ray continued walking to the house. "I fell, it looks worse than it is."
"You need to be more careful!" She exclaimed, horrified at the sight of the blood in my hair. She ushered me into the house, where my Dad was waiting. He looked like he had been pacing the floors.
"Erin!" He rushed towards me, trying to hug me.
"Dad, I'm fine!" I sighed, holding my hands up. I felt like a stuck record having to repeat myself over and over again. I just hoped they bought the whole falling excuse.
My Dad looked to my Mum. I didn't see the look she gave him, but he sighed and stepped back. "I just fell Dad, there was a bag on the floor and I didn't see it." He nodded and looked like he believed every word I said. "Do you think it's ok if I have a wash?" I turned to ask my Mum.
"As long as you don't get anything in the cut. Tell you what. I'll help you wash your hair." She offered, and then followed me as I nodded.
I took my coat off and carried my rucksack to my room. After taking off my shirt and throwing it into the washing basket, I slipped on an old t-shirt, and then headed to the bathroom, where my Mum was waiting.
Without a word I leant over the bath, my Mum gently poured warm water over my head. I watched as pools of red swirled around and finally escaped down the plug hole.
"I'm not going to shampoo your hair. Not today. I want to wait until that heals a bit more." She said as she placed a towel on my head gently.
"Okay." I told her, as I watched the final drops of blood disappear. "I'm just going to clean my face, then do my homework."
My Mum hesitated in the doorway for a while. It seemed something was on her mind. The telephone rang then, making her shake her head.
"Okay love, I'll call you when dinner is ready."
I walked into my bedroom, leaning against the door as I closed it. I closed my eyes and just stood there, tears started to roll down my face as I slid down the door to the floor and I sat there for at least 30 minutes, just crying.
I can't believe she did thought as I placed my head in my hands.
For years I'd grown up hardly talking to anyone besides my family, and now that someone, who I was interested in getting to know, had started talking to me, I was supposed to steer clear of him.
I felt my stomach tighten at this thought. But I had to; I couldn't have any more run-ins with Jessica. I didn't know Sean well enough to put my life in danger.
God I'm so stupid! Why was I even thinking through this? I had to stay away from Sean. End of.
I wiped away my tears, and with a deep breath stood up and walked over to my rucksack, I pulled out my reading material. I must have fallen asleep, as I woke when someone started to gently shake me. I yawned and stretched, then opened my eyes.
"Kes?" My Dad was sitting flicking through the book I'd brought home from school. "Interesting read." He smiled as he placed it back down.
"It's for English," I smiled back. "I've got to read it by next Tuesday." I pulled myself up into a sitting position and placed the book on my bedside table.
"I nearly forgot what I came in here for," My Dad said, shaking his head with a laugh, "Dinner's ready."
"Okay, I'll be down in a second. I just need to use the toilet."
My Dad nodded as he got up from the bed and headed downstairs.
After a quick trip to the bathroom, I made my way to the kitchen, where I heard Kasey-Ray talking excitedly about the new friends she'd made.
She'd gotten close to a girl called Claire, who was in her form and most of her classes.
"So can she come here after school tomorrow?" She gave my parents her big puppy dog eyes impression. My parents laughed as they nodded. "Yay!" She clapped and looked over at me as I walked in. "Hi sis, how's your head?"
"It's good thanks." I smiled as I sat opposite her at the kitchen table.
My Mum had made Spaghetti Bolognese, my favourite and sitting in the middle of the table was a plate of garlic bread.
"So what's Claire like?" I enjoyed finding out all about Kasey-Ray's friends. It was the closest I'd get to having friends myself, not that Kasey-Ray's friends really spoke to me, just a polite hello now and again.
"Oh she's great." Kasey-Ray beamed, "You'll love her."
"I'm sure I will." Laughing, knowing full well I wouldn't. Most were nice to my face, but steered clear of me anytime Kasey-Ray wasn't around.
I all but licked my plate clean as I finished my dinner.
"Thanks," I smiled as I pushed my plate away and rubbed my belly. "That was lush." I stood up and took my plate over to the sink. "I'm going to go read some more."
My parents nodded and turned back to listen to Kasey-Ray chatter on about school. I slowly made my way to my bedroom; I was trying to decide whether to put my pyjamas on now or not. I finally decided to put them on. That way, if I did fall asleep, I would already be dressed for bed.
I pulled my favourite pyjamas on, which I'd had for three years now. I had grown out of them 2 years ago, but I just loved them. Every morning I would take them off, fold them and then place them under my pillow, to keep them warm.
After brushing my teeth, I climbed into bed and picked up my book but it wasn't long before I fell asleep.