Chapter 20
I found myself waking up rather alert and glancing around the dark alley Varian had chosen for us to spend the night resting in. It was isolate except for Varian and I, minus the squeaking mice that remained hidden out of sight.
I glanced at Varian, who looked to be peacefully asleep. It was odd to not see his lovely blue eyes staring at me with a mixture of emotions, the affection there constantly. His chest fell and rose at a stable speed, his mouth parted with light snores coming through. I planned to allow him to remain at peace, but then I heard another cluster of noises.
I crawled over to Varian, making sure I was as silent as the hidden mice. I hesitated before shaking Varian lightly, cringing in expectation for him to lash out like he had the first time we met. But he only mumbled and turned on his side, reaching out blindly only to press closer to my leg.
"Varian, wake up," I whispered, shaking him once more, but no harder than the first time. I didn't want to shake him too hard in the fear that he might become angry at me once again.
Varian did nothing but sigh, and I shivered as his nose grazed my leg. Before I could react further, I heard a series of incoherent voices close by.
Panic shot through me and I shook Varian once again, wanting him to get rid of the panic. I shook him again, this time harder.
"Wake up Ducky, please?" I pleaded, letting a strand of desperation leak through. I didn't want to end up lifeless as the small boy had.
Varian's eyes shot open, his initial reaction being confusion. His eyes found mine and they softened, but held worry when he saw the panic in my own eyes.
"What's wrong angel?" he asked, sitting up, and I pressed my finger to his lips to prevent him from making too much noise.
"There's someone here. They woke me up," I explained, watching his eyes widen before they hardened.
"Stay here," he instructed, standing up and moving as agile as a natural born experiment might.
I remained where I was, watching for some sort of signal from Varian. He kept still for several minutes before he returned and started packing our things back into our bag.
"Did they leave?" I asked curiously but was given no answer. Did Varian not hear me? Or was the question so unintelligent that an answer wasn't needed?
"We need to go. Now," he whispered shortly and I could feel my hair stand on its edges.
"Who is it? Can you not overpower them?" I asked, allowing confusion to replace my curiosity.
Varian didn't reply immediately and I assumed he had gone back to ignoring me for some unexplainable reason that only he seemed to know and understand. But finally he answered, his words holding little to no emotion.
"They've found us. The scientists are here."
Tension curled itself around Varian and I like an unwelcome friend. I just remained in the thin silence, unsure of what to do or say. But then it came to me.
"We can turn ourselves in," I murmured, the panic easing slightly.
If we turned ourselves in, we would be punished without a doubt. But turning ourselves in willingly would greatly lessen the punishment. The lab coats would punish us, but take us back to the safety of the Lab. We would be hidden from the harsh Outside, back to the sense of security the Lab brought.
But Varian didn't seem to agree with me. He had whirled around, his eyes wide with disbelief. I could see hint of anger in various places of his face. For once, I understood the reason behind Varian's dark features.
Varian didn't like the Lab. He seemed to prefer the unpredictability of the Outside. I might understand the reason, but I couldn't seem to grasp why he would prefer it. Why would you prefer a world where you might die from a crude beating for something insignificant?
"Are you crazy?" He snapped, bringing me to reality. He shook his head as he stood up, placing the bag on his shoulder before he grabbed my upper arm.
He didn't have to try hard to move me, being I was still unsure of what to do. I wanted to go back to the Lab more than I wanted to stay in the Outside. But what about Varian?
I froze, both of us halting as we reached the end of the alley. On our left stood the parked van, as white as my room in the Lab. The color was redolent, memories of my room resurfacing.
But on our right stood the endless Outside, beckoning Varian and I, waiting for us to continue our journey. I wanted to turn left and join the lab coats in the van. Is this where Varian and I parted ways?
Something inside me told that parting ways with Varian was wrong. It was telling me to stay with him, no matter what the cost. It wanted me to choose Varian and the Outside over the lab coats and the Lab itself.
"If we turn ourselves in willingly they won't punish us greatly," I whispered; it was another meager attempt at trying to persuade Varian to go back.
"Let's go before they see us," he whispered back, completely skirting over my futile attempt. But when Varian started edging to his right I didn't join.
He looked back at me, but I couldn't meet his eyes. His would see through mine and see everything. I didn't want Varian seeing anything I didn't show him.
"Angel, they're going to hurt you, possibly kill you," he started, only continuing when that didn't elicit a response out of me. "You're a faulty experiment to them, nothing more. You went rogue and they only want you back because you too much of a risk. We need to leave now!"
He was yelling by the end because the lab coats were calling to one another, pointing in our direction. They were looking straight at Varian, straight at me. They had finally spotted us.
Varian suddenly growled as he once had at the Lab, sounding as feral as one of the Lab's hounds. He suddenly grabbed me and I yelped in surprise as he yanked me behind him, blocking my view.
"Both of you stay where you are and we won't hurt you!" One of them yelled and I touched Varian's side, wanting his attention. But he remained where he was, coiled tightly.
"See Varian? They won't hurt us," I tried for the last time, but he didn't respond. Varian's complete attention was on them, watching their every movement.
"They have dogs. I think they plan to do more than hurt us," he said abruptly and I froze, able to hear the panting of the ferocious dogs. They were waiting for us to run, itching to taste our blood.
I looked down, a bed feeling in me. It seemed weighted, keeping me from going to the van. I felt hurt. Did they not trust us to go to the van without the underlying threat of the dogs?
"Now will you go with me?" he hissed, panic squirming its way into his voice instead of mine. I kept looking down, the hurt still raw and painful, as I nodded my head.
Varian started pushing me to the right, but things didn't turn out like he had planned. Suddenly someone else was stepping out of the van with ease, calling my name.
There He stood, His brown eyes taking me in and stopping me in my tracks. He didn't have to say anything to get my attention and He knew it. He already had it.
"Angel, he's with them. Just ignore him," Varian pleaded, trying to push me away. But I remained still, pushing back. I didn't want to leave yet.
"Hello sweetheart," He started. A warm smile was on His face, causing me to forget about the boy beside me. "I've missed you greatly."
I didn't respond, mesmerized by Him. He had disappeared, but came back to retrieve me. Why should I trust Him when there was a possibility He might leave once again? How could I be sure He would stay at the Lab with me?
His smile widened, trying to appear reassuring. "If you come back to the Lab it will be as if you never left. I can make it as if Experiment Varian was never there. Do you not want that? Do you trust me?" He said softly, asking the question I had refused to let myself answer.
Those two questions weighed my down incredibly. Choosing an answer for either of them would involve more change, yet I could barely contain the change in my existence. Leaving them unanswered for a short amount of time would not affect me greatly. But for a significant amount? For a significant amount of time, I would waste away in wonder and in fear of the answer I couldn't face.
"Sweetheart, I need you to come back to the Lab for me. Don't you care for me? The Lab and I both need you. I care too much for you to let them hurt you," He pressed, the smile still on his face. I could heard the distant growl from Varian, but they were of little importance now.
"Sweetheart, come back for me," He whispered, beckoning me with His inviting arms. I found myself acting without thought, allowing my feet to guide me towards Him. But I never quite made it into His arms.
Before I was even halfway to Him, a pair of arms that felt like unyielding steel bars grabbed me from behind and yanked me back. I could only process how much distance was being put between me and Him as the invincible force pulled me off my feet and carried me off, ignoring my screams.