We arrive to Marshall's old house where we get to unpack while Marshall is waiting for us. Marshall and Amy are just playing while I unpack, I love how happy Amy is with Marshall around. He's good with kid because of his childish side, the childish side is what I always loved about him. I wish I could be that childish sometimes but I guess I grew up too fast, I guess I wanted to be an adult so fast that I forgot how it was to be childish. Back when I was with Marshall, he could make me act like a child sometimes but that's a lot of years ago, now I'm fully grown up and those days are far behind me.
"I'm tired of fighting." Marshall suddenly says from the door which makes me turn around and look at him. I haven't even heard him so he kinda scared me.
"Where's Amy?" I ask as I don't want her to overhear anything.
"Out pissing." He says and I just nod. "I know that we have a lot of shit in the past but I'm tired of fighting about it."
"Me too." I admit.
"I think we're both still angry about a lot of shit but can we put it to rest?" Marshall asks.
"Sure." I say smiling but unfortunately I know me and Marshall; it's gonna explode again because we haven't talked things out completely.
"For real, how are you holding up?" He then asks me.
"I'm devastated." I sigh. "But I'm done trying to find a solution because he's not willing to compromise."
"Neither are you." He says as he leans against the doorframe.
"Marshall." I say as he just promised me that we should let it rest.
"I'm not trying to be mean but I just know you." He says showing a little smile.
"It's not small demands he's making." I say. "It's serious demands."
"Yeah." He says.
"He didn't even come by yesterday to visit Amy and he hasn't even told her yet, so I had to lie to her because it's not in my place to tell her." I say.
"Yeah, it's a shitty move of him." Marshall agrees.
"He's a fucking coward, that's what he is." I mumble. "You know what he said the other day?"
"No."
"He said that he never had the need to have a child before you came into the picture." I tell him.
"He said that?" He frowns.
"Yes." I say. "You never felt differently about Alaina or Whitney just because they're not your own."
"No." Marshall says. "Why would he even say that man? It's just corny."
"He's a prick." I say.
"Amy is coming." Marshall says which ends our conversation.
I get done and we drive over to Marshall and I can feel that I'm more relaxed this time since his family isn't around. I feel so mean for even thinking that, but it's just not nice to be around people who doesn't like you. It hurts that the kids are so angry with me because I do still love them.
Marshall even involves me in the games with Amy which he never does. Maybe he's really starting to loosen up a little? Maybe he's starting to realize that a good relationship between us is better for Amy.
I agree on making dinner for them and you have no idea how weird it feels. It feels so weird to stand in his kitchen cooking again.
"Are you sure it's okay?" Marshall asks me as I prepare dinner. "I understand if you don't want to."
"It's okay." I say. "I'm just gonna poison your food only." I joke.
"Ha ha, so funny." He says. Amy is playing in Whitney's room so we can speak freely right now.
"I know. Haven't you seen my new comedian show; How to deal with shitty exes?" I ask.
"No, I gotta see that." He says. "I got a few myself."
"Then it's a good thing you're left with one good ex." I say.
"You?" He laughs.
"Not every ex would agree to this." I say.
"You want me to tell you that you're a good girl?" He chuckles.
"Omg." I sigh deeply and roll my eyes of how childish he's being right now.
After dinner we end up watching a movie by Amy's choice on the couch. Me and Amy lay down on the couch while Marshall sits in the armchair. Amy cuddles up in my arms and I just love it, this is simply the best feeling in the world and I hope she'll never get too big for this.
Suddenly I wake up. The room is dark and Amy is still in my arms. I look around and notice that I have a comforter over me. Did I fall asleep? I sit up and I crawl over Amy to stand on the floor. I shouldn't sleep here, I shouldn't have fallen asleep on Marshall's couch. It's wrong. I walk down the hall heading towards the bathroom but I see light from one of the doors, the door where Marshall's studio is. I walk past the bathroom and towards Marshall's studio and the closer I get the more I can hear the soft beat on very low volume. I remember that he almost never had the door open back when I lived here, the room is soundproof and he closed the door so he didn't bother me or the kids. The sound couldn't bother me now because it's not that loud. I reach the door and Marshall turns around as he can apparently hear my footsteps.
"Did I wake you?" He asks.
"No." I say in a grumpy voice. "Sorry that I fell asleep."
"It's okay." He says.
"What time is it?" I ask.
"12:24." He says.
"Why are you still up?" I ask curious.
"I had some lyrics on my mind, you know." He shrugs and I take a step into the studio. I remember all the good times we had here, not only just the two of us but also with the guys.
"It hasn't changed a bit." I say.
"No." he smiles.
"What are you working on?" I ask curious.
"An album." He says.
"Already?" I ask. "But you just released one."
"But I have so many ideas plus I have so many songs that I didn't got to put on relapse." He explains.
"It's good to see you back in the game again though." I say and sit down next to him.
"It's good to be back." He says and looks at me. "Have you followed my work since our breakup or have you avoided it again?"
"No, I've been more interested this time." I say smiling.
"What do you think about Relapse?" He asks me. I can't believe he's actually asking for my opinion.
"It's different." I say as it's way different from his other albums.
"That's the worse answer you could give me Amelia." He says. Why is he being so insecure about his music? It's not like him.
"You never had any doubt in your music, why do you have it now?" I ask.
"I don't feel this album like the others." He explains. "I think I took the accent way to far."
"Maybe." I agree. "But your lyrics and rhymes are fantastic and I like the twisted Slim Shady side."
"It's a shitty album." He sighs.
"Marshall, people love it so I think you're safe to say that it's a successful album." I say.
"But I still asked about your opinion." He now says.
"I just told you my opinion." I frown.
"You complimented my lyrics and rhymes. I don't have any doubts in them." He says. "Are you scared of being honest with me?"
"No." I say. "I didn't like the accent but there's a lot of good songs on that album."
"Like which ones?" He asks.
"We made you, 3AM, beautiful, crack a bottle and so on." I say which makes him smile.
"You really did pay interest in my music this time." He says.
"I do." I say and I look down not wanting to look at him. My eyes turns to the papers on the desk and I read the lyrics.
"No more pain bitch you took me for granted took my heart and ran it straight into the planet into the dirt I can no longer stand it
Now my respect I demand it
I'm a take control of this relationship
Command it, and I'm a be the boss of you now goddammit"
"Powerful." I say and he now sees what I'm looking at.
"Which one of them?" He asks as there is so many lyrics.
"These." I say and point at the lyrics. I wonder if it's about me or Kim or even somebody else. "Who's it about?" I ask and he looks at me, he doesn't say anything but it says it all. "I see."
"Don't get pissed, you know how.."
"I'm not." I say. It's Marshall's way of handling his feelings. I don't know if he's gonna make a whole song about this or even put it out, but as long as he doesn't mention my name then I don't mind. I know that I've hurt him and it's okay for him to take it out in his music.
"Are you sure?" He asks.
"Yes." I assure him. "It's your way of dealing with things." And Marshall just nods in agreement. "We had some really good times with the guys in this studio."
"Yeah." He says smiling. "Remember when Bizzy wrote a few lines for you?" I remember.. Bizzy wrote a few lines that he wanted me to rap on the mic. We were all very drunk and I agreed to it, but as we all know then Bizzy writes some very bizarre raps so of course they were very bizarre, but it was funny! Mostly because I had to rap it.
"Omg! Yes!" I laugh now.
"I still have that tape somewhere." Marshall chuckles.
"You do?" I ask surprised.
"Yeah.. you know me.. I save everything." He says. It's true.. he saves lyrics that's he's probably never gonna use and he just saves everything he's making in the studio, whether if it's just one of the kids saying something on the mic or something useful.
"Mommy.." I hear Amy cry from the living room which makes me get up.
"You can just sleep in the guest room." Marshall says and I nod. I walk into Amy and she was just scared because I wasn't there. I carry her up to the bedroom and fall asleep next to her again.
So... what do you say? Do you think the peace will remain?