"Absquatulate (v.) to leave without saying goodbye"
"So this man, Nathanial Krav, was behind it all?" T'Challa asked. He had just gotten back from figuring out a mystery of his own. The team was gathered in the conference room as Steve and Erin tried to explain to him the events that had transpired over the past few days.
Erin nodded her head, "The flowers, the note, everything." She looked at the team around her until her eyes landed on Bucky sitting next to her.
"He must have been keeping tabs on all of the old HYDRA bases, just in case. That's how he tracked us." Steve said.
"So your father worked with Krav?" Sam directed the question towards Erin.
She took a moment before answering, "Yes, well Nathanial's father did. He went by Dr. Smith at S.H.I.E.L.D." She let out a dry chuckle then turned to Fury, "Any idea how you failed to see not one, but two infiltrations?"
Fury just glared at her.
"Do you think he was behind the death of your grandfather?" Wanda asked.
"I don't know," Erin replied quietly, "He said something about my mom but... I don't know."
"Bucky, how did he know the trigger words?" Steve asked.
Erin had also been curious about that, but if Bucky knew the answer, he didn't show it.
"I'm not sure," Bucky admitted, "They didn't start conditioning like that until years after my first mission... Maybe he had someone on the inside." He turned to look at Wanda. "I'm not blaming you Wanda, but... why was I still susceptible? I thought you were almost positive that stuff was out of my head."
Wanda looked sad. Erin knew she blamed herself for what happened, but she had no way of knowing there were even other people out there who knew how to activate the Winter Soldier.
Wanda swallowed, "We wove through your mind for months. I came across road blocks that led to different paths. And eventually I came to some kind of solid ground. The truth is, the mind is... it's a whole different kind of magic and science than whatever it is I have." She paused, "I'm not sure how to explain it. Think of it as a place that housed a button that I didn't want anyone to touch, so I had to create a shield around. I didn't want to destroy it because I didn't know how that would have effected you mentally. If I had made one wrong move, you could have been stuck in Winter Soldier mode forever. I was too scared to pull the problem up from the root." She admitted quietly, "Then Krav was able to break through the barrier I created. I'm not sure why, but... after Erin brought you back and we were able to work through your brain again, the blocks I created were still there, but that place in your mind with the button... it was destroyed. There were still traces, but..." She looked at Erin, "I think Erin took care of it." She gave Erin a small smile. "I don't think you're in danger of those words ever again."
Sam snorted, "I really hope we never have to be in another situation to find out."
"I have spoken with my psychological teams. They also feel Mr. Barnes is no longer susceptible to HYDRA influence." T'Challa asked.
Erin let out her breath and reached for Bucky's hand under the table. He found hers first.
T'Challa turned towards Bucky. "When this war is settled, I will make sure the world knows it." He said looking Bucky straight in his eyes.
Bucky stared back, "Thank you, for everything." His voice sounded shaky. Erin made a note to ask him about it later.
"Well, I think this calls for a celebration!" Sam said clapping Steve on the back.
"I'm always down for a party!" Scott said.
"Oh can we please Cap? Pleeeeeease?" Sam said pretending to pout.
Steve shot him a glare, but softened his gaze after a moment, "I think... a party might be a good idea." He shot his signature half grin.
There were murmurs of celebration and excitement throughout the room. Even Erin found herself smiling with excitement.
"Speaking of celebrations..." Clint said.
The room went quiet and Erin turned her gaze to look at him. She could tell he was fighting back a smile. "Laura and I have decided to renew our vows."
"When?" Wanda asked excitedly.
"In a few weeks," Clint smiled.
Erin grinned from ear to ear, "Here? In Wakanda?" She asked.
Clint nodded, "Thanks to this giant cat over here," He shot T'Challa a smile. "The kids and her arrive in two weeks."
"That's amazing!" Wanda said getting up from her chair, tackling Clint in a huge hug.
Everyone else followed suit and gathered around Clint congratulating him and clapping him on the back.
Erin gave him a huge hug, "I can't wait to meet the kids," She beamed.
As she stepped away to let the rest of the team talk to Clint, she seemed to be the only one who noticed Bucky get up and slip out of the room without saying a word.
*****
Erin didn't see Bucky until later that night. As Sam requested, they disrupted their usual schedule to simply hang out. Erin helped Wanda make a nice dinner, Bucky hadn't shown up for that part, but Steve reassured her he was just tired and would join them when he was ready.
Once they had all ate, Sam was the DJ for the evening and T'Challa generously opened up the wine cellar for them.
Erin was never one for alcohol, but she casually sipped a beer beside Wanda as they watched Clint and Steve play beer pong, which Erin thought was grossly unfair because Steve couldn't even get drunk. Then again Clint never missed, so she supposed it evened out.
Next to Erin, Wanda had on a long sleeve dark green velvet dress with black see through tights and black boots, her hair loosely falling over her shoulder.
Erin had opted for something more casual. She wore a soft loose maroon shirt with her favorite pair of jeans. She had braided the front half of her hair back leading into a low messy bun, letting loose hairs fall around her face.
Now that she was thinking about it, everyone looked good tonight. She had never seen them more relaxed. It was nice seeing them in something other than combat or training gear.
She was suddenly overcome with a warm feeling. Her emotions got the best of her. "Wanda," Erin said turning to her friend next to her, "I never got to thank you."
"For what?" Wanda asked, her hazel eyes looking more lively than they had since she had met the Scarlet Witch.
"Everything," Erin shrugged, "You've been there and stuck up for me ever since I joined the team. I'm sorry I was... frustrating for a while. In an effort to protect myself I usually... end up hurting people instead." She had never told anyone that, not even Jamie. It felt good, like a weight she could finally let go of.
Wanda smiled at her, "In many ways you have helped me as well. You... reminded me of Pietro and for a while it was hard because I missed him so much, but having you here... it makes me miss him less," She paused, "You've been more than my friend, you've been more like a sister." Wanda chuckled.
"I've never had a sister," Erin smiled, "But then again," She looked up at that moment to see Bucky walk into the room, "This team has given me a lot of what I didn't know I was missing." She turned back to Wanda and smiled, "Sister."
"Sister," Wanda held up her pinky and Erin took in with her own.
Bucky walked up to them and took a seat next to Erin. He looked quite handsome. It was the most dressed up she had seen him since he first woke up. He wore a blue blue button up shirt, which offset his blue eyes. The sleeves were rolled half way up to his elbows and he had on blue jeans with a pair of leather combat boots Erin didn't even know he had.
Her heart fluttered a little bit and a sense of nervousness came over her. Damn him for looking so good. "Hi," She smiled cautiously at him.
"Hi," He smiled back warmly. "You looked beautiful," He whispered into her hair, placing a light kiss on her head.
Erin felt her cheeks get hot. She turned to look at him, "You don't look too bad yourself." She said back. Her eyes averted to his hair, "You need a haircut soon though," She joked. Erin cautiously reached up to touched it, but quickly pulled back as she noticed Bucky stiffen at her touch. She awkwardly withdrew her hand and avoided his gaze. "Are you okay?" She asked changing to subject, "You left so suddenly this afternoon..."
"I'm fine," Bucky said looking at Erin's hand and taking it in his metal one, "Just... thinking." He looked up, a hint of a smile in his eyes.
There, with Bucky at her side and a new found sister on the other, watching men that have become brothers to her have fun, Erin finally felt like she belonged somewhere.
*****
BUCKY'S POV
Bucky swung the backpack over his shoulder outside of the safe house as he walked the edge of the garden. He looked up at the window he knew belonged to Erin's room. The light was off and he knew she was sleeping peacefully.
He turned his eyes back to the garden, thinking of all those weeks she sat outside reading during her free time. He would sometimes watch her as she turned page after page, tucking loose strands of her hair that would fall in her face. God, she was so beautiful.
Erin. He knew this would hurt her. If she hurt a faction of what he was feeling... No, Bucky couldn't think about that or he would change his mind. His only regret is that he wouldn't say goodbye to her. He tried to make the most of tonight at the party, while she still held his hand, not even remotely repulsed at the metal beneath her skin or the monster beneath the metal. He knew she would hate him in the morning. Good. He thought. She should hate him. Things would be much easier if she did.
"You know," A voice behind him said, "For a former assassin, you're not that good at sneaking around."
Bucky turned around to find Clint Barton standing back by the entryway casually leaning against one of the structure's pillars.
Bucky didn't know Clint very well, but he knew he was protective of Erin. He was glad she would still have him to take care of her.
"It's not really a job I should be good at anymore." Bucky replied.
Clint eyed him up and down, "So you're going to slip away, just like that? Does Steve even know?"
Bucky paused before answering, "He doesn't need to know."
In the darkness, Bucky could see Clint roll his eyes. "What about Erin? You don't think she deserves to know why you're sneaking off in the middle of the night?"
Bucky didn't say anything.
"You love her." He didn't phrase it as a question, but a fact, like he was saying the sky was blue or the sun was bright.
Bucky knew it was true, but he wasn't sure he had the courage to admit it. "It's better this way... for everyone."
"Everyone? Are you sure you don't have your concepts mixed up?"
"It doesn't matter-"
"Bullshit!" Clint raised his voice. He pulled himself from the wall he was leaning against and stalked over to Bucky coming toe to toe with him. Even though he was several inches taller than Clint, Bucky found himself shrinking back from his glare. "You think you're sacrificing yourself for her?" Clint demanded.
Bucky's temper was slowly rising, "I have a lifetime of debt to repay. I think doing what's best for people you care about is a pretty good start-"
"Do you truly believe leaving her is the best way to redeem yourself? Is your ego really that big? I've known Erin since she was my daughter's age. She's like her mother. She doesn't forgive and she doesn't forget. If you go now, she'll resent you for the rest of her life and you'll regret it."
Bucky was still fuming but he stayed quiet.
"Stop running. Haven't you done enough of it to last even your lifetime?"
Anger kept him silent.
"Geez, you're like talking to a brick wall. Look, if you want to go I'm not going to stop you. But you should know that you're a pain in the ass to find, so if you're going to leave at least tell the team, tell Erin, she deserves it." Clint turned to go back inside.
Bucky looked up at Erin's window again. You love her. Bucky couldn't dare to believe she could ever love him back.
"Oh," Clint said turning around to face him again, "If you need another piece of motivation, if you don't get your ass back inside, I'll stick an arrow in it." Clint turned around and walked back inside.
Bucky fought a smile and followed him.
"You can be broken and messy and hurting and healing
and still be worthy of love and choosing."
-Unknown