I pack the last things that me and Amy need. She's been so excited that she's barely asked any questions about why Ken isn't around. He hasn't been here since Tuesday where he left in anger, he didn't even call yesterday which disappoints me. I've told Amy that he's very busy with work and she ate my lie. I'm angry because Ken won't be with us but he also doesn't wanna tell Amy. He's a coward right now in my eyes and I think it's good for me and Amy to fly off to Detroit right now. Talking about the devil, I now see his name pop up on my phone from him calling me.
"Hi." I say coldly.
"Hi." He says and I can tell that he's down but right now I don't care. In 30 minutes a car is gonna be here to pick me and Amy up, so I'm kind of busy.
"What do you want?" I ask him.
"Can I eat dinner with you and Amy today?"
"No."
"Don't shut me out of Amy's life just because you're angry with me."
"I'm not but we're not home today and where were you yesterday? How do you think it was to explain to Amy that her dad isn't coming home today? How do you think it is for me to lie to her, just because you don't have the guts to tell her?" I get angry but I don't yell as Amy sits in the living room. I have an eye on her here from the bedroom making sure that she doesn't hear anything.
"I'm sorry but I just needed time to think." He says.
"About what?"
"About all this." He says. "Can I eat dinner with you tomorrow?"
"We're not home until Sunday." I say.
"You're going to Detroit?" He asks and I can tell that it bothers him.
"Yes. Marshall is going home today and he asked if he could take Amy with him."
"And then you had to go with them?"
"What did you expect? I'm not gonna send her off to another state without me. If something happens to her then I can't do anything." I say angrily.
"I just find it very weird that I break up with you and a few days later you go to Detroit." He says. I'm not even gonna listen to his bullshit because he has no right to say the things he do right now. He broke up with me so even if I fuck another guy then he has no right to be angry.
"I don't care and you shouldn't care either because you broke up with me." I say.
"And clearly I was right about everything that I said." Ken says. At this point I really don't care anymore because I know what's the truth. If he chooses to believe that I'm still in love with Marshall then it's on him. Of course it hurts but I'm done trying to find a solution, because apparently there's only one solution according to him.
"I'm done arguing about this with you Ken. I love you and if you don't wanna believe that then it is what it is. I apparently can't change your mind so just call me next week when you want to come by and tell Amy."
"If you loved me then you would marry me and.."
"Bye Ken, I don't have time for this." I say and hang up.
I pack me and Amy's things and then we get picked up by Marshall's driver. Marshall is gonna meet us in the airport as we can't arrive together. In the car I check my phone and I see a text from Ken.
Ken (3.04pm)
How mature to hang up on me.
I don't answer him because what is there to answer? Obviously he doesn't get it.
We arrive to the airport where we meet outside the plane, I forgot how luxurious a private jet is. I forgot how some parts of Marshall's life was really awesome, like private jets. You don't have to share with everyone, no.. you got it all to yourself. Amy gasps when she walks inside the jet holding Marshall's hand.
"Mommy, have you seen this?" She asks.
"I have baby." I say and walk right behind them.
"Why don't we have one?" She asks which makes me and Marshall laugh.
"Because only rich people have that." I say.
"Are you rich?" Amy asks Marshall.
"You can say that." Marshall says. He's a really humble guy and he doesn't like to brag about his money to anyone.
"I wish I was rich so I could have a jet." Amy says as her and Marshall take a seat. I take a seat on the seat across from them.
"Money can buy a lot of things and they're great to have, but money can't buy the most important things in life." Marshall explains to her.
"Like what?" She asks.
"Love, happiness and loyalty." Marshall says and looks at me. I can't tell if it's a hint or if it's because he wants me to confirm it. I can see that Amy really thinks about what Marshall just said to her.
"But money can buy me a pony and that makes me happy." Amy says being that little smart ass that she is.
"There's a big difference Amy." I tell her. "The pony makes you happy right now but it doesn't make you in all general happy."
"Your mom is right." Marshall says.
"Are you happy mom?" Amy asks me.
"Yes." I say. I can't tell her that I'm far from happy after Ken left, but parts of me are very happy and that's because I have her.
"Are you happy Marshall?" She asks.
"I am." He says and looks at me. I look away quickly because I can't have him staring at me like that.
The plane is now about to take off so we stay quiet and listen to the captain. It's so weird sitting in this private jet with Marshall, it reminds me so much of the old times. The times where I was on tour with him or when he just took me with him to LA. I wonder if he ever fucked any girls when he took me along? I know he did it that time where I was out with Nicole but did he do it all the time? Questions like that have bothered me for years. It was a dirty game he played and it makes me wonder if he ever felt bad. These are questions that I never thought I would get answered, now I can and now I'm not even sure that I wanna know.
When we're in the air Amy wants to see a movie so I hand her the iPad and she gets headphones on. This now leaves me and Marshall in an awkward silence. I don't know what to say to him and I bet he feels the same way.
"The girls ain't gonna come by this weekend." Marshall suddenly breaks the silence.
"Why?" I ask.
"They have plans." He says which gives me a clear sign that it's non of my business, so I just nod and let it be. "How's the situation between you and Ken?" Marshall then asks in a low voice making sure that Amy doesn't hear it.
"He found out that me and Amy were leaving today and began to talk all kind of nonsense." I roll my eyes in irritation about the conversation I had with Ken earlier.
"To him it's a weird coincidence." Marshall shrugs.
"Are you taking his site now?" I frown in confusion.
"No, I just get where he's coming from." He says.
"He broke up with me so he has no right to be angry." I roll my eyes.
"Sometimes we just can't control our feelings." Marshall shrugs. When did he become so understanding?
"I know but.." I say and stop myself because I don't want to sit here and open up about my life and relationship to Marshall. "Can we talk about something else?"
"It's your call." He just says.
"Thanks." I say. "I just don't need to be bothered with him right now."
"Alright." He says.
"So what about you? Are you seeing anyone?" I ask and he raises his left brow.
"You really wanna know whom I'm seeing?" He asks.
"So you are seeing someone?" I ask. I try not to care but I actually do, because a new woman in Marshall's life means a new woman in Amy's life.
"No." He says but I'm not buying it.
"You're lying." I say.
"I'm not." He says.
"So you're not even sleeping with any girls?" I ask.
"So curious, huh?" He shakes his head.
"Because I know you can't go 3 days without getting laid." I say.
"I don't have to see a specific bitch to get laid." He says. Now I know him again.
"You got a point." I play it cool even though I'm disgusted by what he just said. There's silence for about 5 minutes before Marshall breaks it again.
"Where did you go when you just came to New York after you left me?" He asks. I'm debating right now with myself if I should tell him the truth, because I know it'll make him angry. The easiest thing is to lie but somehow Marshall always finds out.
"Kevin." I say and he rolls his eyes.
"And then you found out he was with Melissa?" He asks and I nod. "Were your plan to raise her with him?"
"My plan was to have a place to stay." I say.
"You didn't answer my question." He says.
"I did." I say.
"Your plan was to raise her with Kevin, wasn't it?" He glares at me with this angry look.
"No." I say. "I didn't have a plan. I just needed a place to stay until I got my own." He just nods. "My plan was to tell you if you got back on your feet and got sober." That was actually my plan because I knew that I couldn't keep this from him forever, but then I found Ken and we became a family so I didn't wanna ruin that.
"Then what happened?" He asks.
"Ken happened." I tell him the truth.
"Have you considered if she grew up and found out that you had lied to her her whole life? Are you aware of how much she would hate you then?" He frowns. I actually never thought of that because I had Ken and I don't ever think she would have known the truth then.
"No." I say.
"Your stupidity is impressive." He shakes his head.
"Stop saying.."
"No because it's true." He says. "You think you can get away with anything."
"I don't wanna get into all this now." I say and glare at Amy. I know me and Marshall.. suddenly we can't control the volume of our voices and then Amy would hear it all.
Amelia is afraid of changes.. Can you relate to that feeling?
I can.. my boyfriend has purposed to me numerous of times and I've rejected him every time. I'm so afraid of changes and I see no reason to change what we have, besides I'm scared that things could get bad and then I would feel tied to him in someway. It just hit me today that Amelia's character is a lot like myself. I guess it's not that weird since I created her ;)