POV Quinn.
The bell above the door there sounds when I push it. The heat and the smell of coffee in the cafe fill me completely. I smile helplessly and remove the beanie that covers my head. I wasn't expecting to meet Zac so I could avoid Harry's theme but I want to talk to him and hang out. I didn't have class all day today, I could take the morning to finish some projects and also study a bit. Not much left until Christmas holidays and I get the feeling that I won't study enough during those weeks in Ireland with my family and Zac's.
I unbutton my bulky coat as I look for an empty table. It seems that the cold weather has attracted more customers to the place so that almost all the tables are occupied. I rise on my tip toes and I spot an empty table the farthest from the entrance. With the jacket over my arms, I get the way to the table. The soles of my shoes hit the marble ground when I get the table. I sit in one of the couches and leave my bag with the coat in the corner of it. I look at the watch around my wrist, Zac cannot be long in coming. I pull my phone out of my pants pocket and land it on the table. I look at the black screen that hasn't been on all day making the emptiness in my heart get a little bit bigger. A small part of me thought that Harry would ignore my plan and end up doing what he went but this time it seems that he has decided to follow my requests. Therefore, I feel sad and slightly... alone. We have been much closer to each other over the past week which means I miss him every time we drift apart.
But this is for my sake and for his. It's the best thing that can happen to both of us.
"Hey, princess" a familiar voice says beside me.
I give a little jump on the couch at the unexpected greet. I was so immersed in my thoughts that I haven't noticed the presence of Zac right next to me. I find his bright eyes and big smile suspicious.
"Don't call me that"
I roll my eyes when he laughs. He takes a seat in front of me leaving the brown leather jacket on the couch. The short sleeve shirt that he is wearing adheres more closely to his body than other times.
"You used to be the princess when we were small and still are"
He winks at me while my cheeks turn red. Too cheeky of his part.
"You're very flirty today, something noteworthy happened?"
I put my phone on a corner of the table when he joins his hands over it. His eyes and his mischievous smirk give me a hint about what might happen.
"I'm meeting your classmate Kate in a couple of hours" he explains.
I wrinkle my nose. That is disgusting and horrible. I keep my threat to never approach him if something happens between them. Furthermore, the fact that he has confused her name doesn't play much in his favor but neither should matter so much to her.
"It's Caroline"
He rolls his eyes as a smile forms on his lips.
"Whatever"
The waitress approaches us to ask about what we are going to take. As always, I ask for a large coffee with milk and Zac asks for the same. I think he will have a long night ahead and he will need energies to endure over an hour with Caroline.
"Have you talked to your mother about the trip?" I question.
I want to avoid the subject of Harry as much as possible. If he has to go so soon, it is most likely not get to talk about it and that causes me relief. Zac is my best friend but I need to distract my body and mind of the guy who has completely made me feel lost.
"She is so happy to see you all in three weeks" he replies.
I smile uncontrollably. My mother will be very happy to see her again after all these years and that's enough to make me happy too.
"My mother is very nervous, she is already starting to think about what she is taking and organize millions of activities"
Zac and I laugh in unison. The waitress comes back and let our coffees on the table.
"Maybe I'll go to your house for breakfast on Sunday"
With one breath, I remove the smoke coming out of my coffee cup. I'll have to wait a while if I don't want to burn the whole mouth. Zac is surrounding the cup with his hands to warm the palms of this.
"I'll tell my mother so she can bake something special"
He smiles back.
"My father has gone to New York for the remainder of the month so I'll be alone the next week" he explains.
The blond boy stares across the table and stir his hair. It seems he has created a wall to protect the continuous disappointments of his father but, sometimes, that wall doesn't seem to be enough to keep him strong.
"You can come to my house anytime, you know it"
He looks up again with sad eyes. I hate seeing him like this, it reminds me of when we were little and we hid in a small fort away from the adult world without shouting or problems, but that didn't remove the sadness in his body.
"I will"
I smile before taking a sip of my coffee cup. It is still very hot but not enough to burn.
"You could sleep one of these days in my house, like a sleepover" He proposes.
I look with joke in the eyes. He cannot be serious.
"You must be kidding" I say with a stupid grin.
He removes the cup from his lips again and leaves it on the table. The sadness in his eyes is completely gone.
"I am serious. It will be fun, like when we were kids"
I giggle helplessly. I cannot believe he is saying seriously that he wants a 'party' together at his place. I thought that adolescence phase had past though, on second thought, it's not a bad idea. He needs someone to talk to and I do too. In addition, we would be alone at his home watching movies or just talking. It does not seem a bad plan after all.
"Doesn't sound so bad" I admit.
His smile gets bigger. I take the cream cup to my lips and take a longer sip than the other one. My stomach heats quickly making me feel much better.
"I think you have something to tell me"
I frown and avoid biting my lower lip. I should have known that the issue was going to appear in the chat but I'm still in time to deflect it.
"Oh yeah, my brother told me that he's looking forward to going to your place and see your cars"
Zac rolls his eyes. Lying or hiding isn't my thing.
"Come on, Quinn. You're trying to hard"
I sigh and look at the marked wooden table. I run my fingers over the engravings on wood trying to calm my rapid heart beat.
"I don't want to talk about it" I confess.
I have to push Harry out of my mind and lock him in a room from which he will never leave. I know I owe Zac too many explanations after his confrontation with him in the parking lot of the university but I don't have the desire or the humor.
" I don't know what may be going on between you but it seems like he isn't a very reasonable person" he says.
My body becomes tensed.
"There's nothing between us"
Zac takes a deep breath and looks towards my. It seems that we're going to have a conversation about the only thing we wouldn't talk.
"That's not true, Quinn. I think it 's time for you to admit what you feel for him"
I sit straight back on the seat and challenge him with the eyes. I cannot believe that our light conversation has become so serious in a small space of time.
"I feel absolutely nothing for him and I never will. Moreover, we aren't meeting or talking again so no need to worry"
Zac looks down losing a battle but not the war. The blond haired boy snorts and reattach hands on the table moving aside the empty cup into a corner.
"Look, I'm not going to give you the talk, I'm not one to do it since I'm not better than him but, from personal experience, you should let it go. Harry will never give you what you want in a boyfriend for everything you've told me about him so you should forget whatever is happening with him and give other opportunities to people that really deserve you"
I rub my face with my warm hands looking for relief. I know he is right but a small part of my heart wants to believe that he is wrong in what he is saying. I believe that Harry really cares about me in his strange, sick way.
"Who do you mean with other people?" I inevitably ask.
Zac frowns, confused.
"You know who I mean"
"No, I don't know"
Zac clicks his tongue.
"That other boy, Jared, he really could have given you what you wanted"
I look out through the window that there is next to our table. I haven't heard anything from him since Tuesday and I don't feel like I missed him at all. He isn't the person I'm looking for and never will be, Jared can only be a good friend but never as much as Zac is. There is still some pain due to the betrayal of me but I don't know what else to do.
"He's just my friend"
When you look back at Zac, he gets his jacket and stands from the chair.
"It was something else before the other came"
Zac passes me and kisses my cheek fondly.
"Call me with anything you need"
I nod in his direction but I am unable to return the sad smile he gives me. I take a deep breath and turn my gaze to the outside again. Pedestrians walk in the dark of night with their coats and warm clothes to protect them from the cold. Everyone seems so focused on their tasks that do realize that there is a world outside.
Zac has given me much to think about. He is right that Jared was something during the time we spent together but I couldn't stop thinking about the whereabouts of Harry during the two weeks of our 'relationship'. I cannot believe that everything happened just over a week ago, looks like it has been forever since I had dates with Jared and all the things he did for me to make me smile. He is good for me but I feel nothing more than friendship when I'm with him.
On the other hand, Harry is respecting my request of not seeing each other. My heart aches when I think about not seeing him again for the rest of my life. It shouldn't hurt if I do not feel anything for him but I cannot have feelings for the guy who is able to destroy me with a single word . Or can I?
That time when I was terrified of him is so far so I don't even remember the panic that ran through my body every time I was at his side. But, I'm still able to remember the first time he stroked my cheek in that dark and lonely alley. Sparks that his fingers left on my cold lips that night while his eyes kept glancing mine. Right now, I am able to feel those sparks over my covered lips.
"Quinn!" a voice near me shouts.
I am dragged out of my sweet nightmare when I am turning the look from the street into a bar. The brunette girl who met almost a month ago looks at me with a smile from ear to ear from the bar. My heart races when Dan's fiancee,Kim, takes her order and walks to the table. I can never get a little break?
"How are you, girl? Long ago we don't know about you!" she says.
Thankfully, she is sitting right in front of me and doesn't intend to give me a hug. I try to smile as best as I can but I am not sure that the smile has been convincing enough.
"Everything's fine, and how about you?" I lie.
The woman leaves her jacket with black briefcase at her side and rounds the plastic cup with her hands. Her brown eyes are as bright as the engagement ring adorning her ring finger.
"Very busy in London but I've come to say hello to Dan this weekend"
She's nice, it's not her fault that it seem like everything about Harry follows me like a shadow.
"That's good"
I grab my phone and look at the screen looking for an excuse to get out of here before but I cannot find anything.
"I saw Harry yesterday and he looked pretty mournful, have you talked with him or something?"
She takes the coffee to her lips while keeping my gaze. It wasn't very difficult to catch the second sense of what she just said but I decide not seem very upset about it.
"We haven't talked much lately"
She cleans with her tongue the suds covering her lips and smiles.
"He cares about people but he would never let anyone know" she says.
I look away from her bright eyes. I need to get out of here or my mind will become one big vicious circle with millions of misconceptions running across my mind. I know what Kim has hinted with that sentence but I won't listen, I'll do as if I hadn't heard anything. She hasn't mentioned anything about the possibility of Harry caring about me, she has not...
"There you are" Kim says looking down the hallway.
When I follow the direction of her eyes, I wish the earth would swallow me. Dan, along with another boy, appear at the door of the cafeteria. The smile of the older of the two lights when he sees his fiancee and she gets up to greet him. I just want to disappear.
His companion's face is awfully familiar to me. His hazel eyes and black hair are somewhat difficult to forget. That's Zayn, Harry's friend whom I have seen a couple of times with the mentioned one.
The couple is melted in a warm embrace with a kiss when Zayn rolls eyes behind them. This would be the best way to get out of here except that the boy has already seen me. I smile uncomfortable when he approaches me with slow steps, similar to Harry's. The two of them seem to have been taken from fashion magazines even though his features are completely different.
"You are Quinn, right?"
His voice is soft and not as harsh as Harry's. I couldn't say anything so I just nod. I should have gone when Zac left me here but I guess, as always, luck is never on my side.
"What a surprise, Quinn" the man says.
I smile as I can when the happy couple sits in front of me and my new companion. In less than a minute, both are immersed in a private conversation. Sighs and desperate cries get out of my lips when Zyan laughs.
"Hard day, huh?" he says.
I turn to face him. The stubble that hasn't been shaved yet makes him look older than he probably is. His body is much thiner than Harry's but, despite that, I'm sure he is pretty strong. His golden eyes are less cold than my... acquaintance but they don't transmit the same confidence.
"Hard week" I correct .
He smiles again. He has a very nice smile.
"I'm sure nothing someone cannot fix"
We are in silence for a few minutes. I bite my tongue trying to keep the question I'm wishing you ask Zayn but it leaves my lips in no time:
"Do you know where Harry is?"
Zayn looks at me trying to hide a smile. I shouldn't have asked but I haven't been able to avoid it.
"He's working on something but I can tell him to come if you want"
"No, it's fine"
My heart beats fast when I turn away my eyes from his. What is he working in? Surely he wouldn't tell me even though I asked it. I sigh, I wasn't supposed to think about Harry and that our separation was for good but it seems that he still occupies my mind.
"He's with some chick" he adds.
I struggle with all my strength for showing hurt or broken. I thought he would take longer to find another girl to treat her like shit but it looks like it's the best he can do.
"I have to go" I say quickly.
I need to run away before I fall to pieces in front of all of them. Without looking at any of the people sitting around the table, I get up of the chair without even listening to the words Zayn is saying. I left a bill over the tray of the waitress who served me though is more than the cost of coffee. I feel my eyes fill with tears when I leave the property.
This is worse than I thought it would be, I'm immersed in a vicious circle that I can never leave. Although I'm staying away from Harry, he always seems to find a way to hurt me even from a distance.
I lean on a facade of a building when the cold penetrates through the holes of my sweater. I shiver in cold when the first tear slid down my cheek. I'm not be able to be close to him but far away either.
When I least expect it, my cell phone rings in the pocket of my jeans. I don't want to talk to anyone but I cannot help thinking that may be Harry. I want to hear his voice one last time... But disappointment fills my body when the bright name on the screen is not the guy's. Instead, the name 'Victoria' occurs. I don't doubt for a second and answer the call.
"Has something happened, Victoria?"
My voice sounds broken despite my attempt to control it.
"Everything is perfect, I'm in my house right now"
I breath, relieved and wipe my tears on my cheeks.
"I'm happy for you"
"Are you okay, honey? It seems like you are you crying"
I close my eyes and lay my head on the cold brick. If she only knew...
"It's just that it's very cold in the street" I lie.
I hear a sigh on the other side of the line. I can not believe that the woman has grown fond of me in the short time we spent together the other day but I guess she is not used to meet the people with whom her child is... or good, he was.
"I have called you to demand and not ask" she giggles. "If you are coming tomorrow for lunch and dinner at my house. I want to show you many things and we have to keep talking"
"I don't want to bother you, Victoria"
The truth is I don't want to go so I can avoid another confrontation with Harry. I don't know if I'll be able to keep strong enough with him being close after Zayn's confession about his whereabouts. But on the other hand, the woman seem excited for my visit and I had a great time with her the other night.
"You are not annoying, it will be a pleasure to have you here"
I cannot refuse.
"Okay, which time do you want me there?"
"What do you think about eleven?"
Her voice sounds more excited than a few minutes ago.
"Okay, I'll take the bus to get there and ask you the address in the morning"
"No way, I will tell Harry to pick you up"
The blood stops flowing through my veins.
"No, do not worry. I rather go by bus" I say stumbled.
She clicks her tongue.
"I'll tell you to go and take you around ten. See you tomorrow, Quinn"
Before I have a second to deny everything, Victoria hangs up.
This will be the worst thing that can happen to me at the moment.
((I wanted to say a massive thank you for those who are reading/voting/commenting the fanfic. I've two weeks holidays so i'll be able to update more than the last weeks. Hope you enjoy the fanfic and if you have something to tell me, you can always send me a message or just comment here.
PS: i made lots of harry and lily collins lately, if you want to see it, here they're:) http://styleshuman.tumblr.com/tagged/hily))
Lots of love and thank you again.xx))
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