Oh. My. God. The amount of votes I got after the chapter is surreal. Thankyou so much to all those people who voted for me.
I also noticed that I lost a few readers after that chapter. I'm sorry if it's not the type of story your looking for, but I've had it planned out for a while now. Please keep reading, it will hopefully be worth it :)
Maddie's POV
It's been 7 hours. 7 hours of darkness and not feeling a thing. The first thing I wake up to is from the all to familiar stinging on my stomach. The feeling confirmed last night happened. I gave in.
Rolling into my back, I slowly peeled my shirt up. I looked down at the cuts that have became agitated and red over night. The wounds were still slightly open, and not scabbed like I hoped them to be, tiny amounts of fresh blood was seeping out. I didn't move to clean up the blood, instead I stared and felt ashamed.
I had cracked. And I wish I hadn't. I now remember why I had promised myself to stop. You look or feel the cuts and you feel ashamed with yourself. It makes you feel even more crap, more worthless. It made me feel like a freak. But I guess you could say that after last night, I am one. (If any one of the readers does self harm, I mean no disrespect. I'm going off how I felt when I had done this. But know you are NOT a freak and people do love you. I can not stress that enough.)
Slowly, I pulled myself up from the safety of my bed and went to have a shower. I wanted to wash away all the pain, physically and emotionally. Last night, everything was blown up and I overreacted, but it still felt good. I don't even know why.
I turned on the tap and hot water fell from the nozzle. I soaked and scrubbed my body. My skin was bright red after this but I didn't care.
I hopped out of the shower and got into my school uniform. I had on the green and white plaid dress that looked hideous, with the woollen dark green jumper with my school initials embroider into it. I pulled my hair back into the usual pony tail and bobby pinned the frizzies back.
I stared at my reflection for a long time. I looked and felt like crap. I had bloodshot eyes from the lack of sleep and big black bags under my eyes. My whole face was pale, different from my usual pink face. I didn't look like me. Since I had never worn makeup, I didn't have anything to make myself look half normal and alive.
I let out a sigh of air, and put on a smile. It looked convincing, like I was happy. But people who knew me well will see through the act. They will know something is up. That something is wrong with me. And I'm not okay with that.
****
I walked into school with my brother Mitch. Apparently we looked the same. Same build, same hair and eyes. Same smile and personality but I never saw it. He was always better than me. He had more friends and he was always socialising, unlike me.
We were walking in silence before our conversation had started. 'Didn't have any of the pancakes mom made us this morning?' He asked me.
I had wanted some, but I couldn't. I didn't need extra food that I didn't need. 'Nah,' I said. 'I didn't really feel like them.'
'You? Not feel like pancakes?' He asked astonished. 'Well that's good, you don't need them anyways.' We parted ways after that.
Ouch. That hurt. I knew I hadn't the skinniest body and I knew I was 'chubby' but hearing it from him. Ouch. Great way to start the day and make me feel good about myself.
****
Period 3. I had Mrs Dann for math, and she is, and I quote, 'The reason kids get expelled.' The teacher herself said that to us, as a way to introduce herself to the class. I didn't have friends in this class but Emily. If you would even call her a friend.
She was a little bit chubby and had grey eyes. She had freckles on her face and short dark blonde hair. She was a very in your face person, a quality in people I don't like. Just smile and agree with her, and nothing should go wrong. Of you disagree, then she will get pissed and make you look like that bad guy. And it's not fun. She has the power to turn people against you because she twists the story.
Maths droned on and on, and finally the 50 minutes were up. In total, 3 kids from my class got a detention for asking how to do a question. So all in all, it was a successful math lesson.
The bell for the start of period 4 rang and I was still at my locker getting my books. I had just had a conversation with Kait, and it was normal. When I'm with her, I feel happy and loved by her. But she's smart. She knows something's wrong and she's not going to stop till she finds out.
The day goes on, and I keep the fake smile on. Sometimes it's a real smile. Like when I'm hanging with Kate and Mon, or when Reece called at lunch telling me I'll be sleeping at his tonight and that he had already picked up my sleeping gear and netball stuff for tomorrow morning.
Tonight I am guaranteed that my troubles will not follow me. At Reece's, your safe. He does everything in his power to make me smile and to protect me from whatever he can. I couldn't wait for tonight, and I was on the edge of my seat for the whole of period 5 and 6 which was English and science, 2 classes that I share with Harry.
When I walked into both classes, I sat away from my friends and by myself at the back. Both times, Harry walked in after me and sat next to me, but gave up trying to make conversation.
It was the last 3 minutes of school, and I kept glancing up at the clock. The seconds were ticking away and my legs couldn't sit still. All I wanted was to get out of here and into Reece's arms. His hugs take all worries away.
'Your excited for something.' Harry stated from beside me. His eyes were twinkling with amusement, and shone brightly. His acting skills about caring were an A+.
I nodded my head really quickly and turend back to the clock.
2 minutes to go. I had already packed up all my books and was just waiting for the bell.
'What have you got planned?' He asked again.
'Sleepover.' I said. 1 minute 30 seconds.
'Oh yeah. Who with?'
'A friend.'
'Do you need a ride?'
'No thanks. My friend is picking me up.'
'They don't go to this school?' His eyebrows furrow in confusion.
'Nope.' I said, popping the 'P'.
'Who is it?' He asked, his voice a tiny bit edgier.
'Reece.' I said quietly.
Silence.
1 minute.
More silence.
50 seconds.
I was uncomfortable with the silence, and I looked to my left at Harry. His jaw was clenched, and his knuckles were white with rage, but he was trying to keep himself calm.
'Oh yeah.' He said, trying to be nice about it, but I heard the edge to his tone. My body stiffened, waiting for him to blow up for some unknown reason.
35 seconds.
'Are you playing netball tomorrow?' He changed the topic.
'Um yeah.' I said in a quite voice.
'Do you want a lift?' He sounds desperate.
'No. Reece is taking me. Thanks anyways.' I say uncomfortably.
'Of course he is.' And he left it at that.
25 seconds
10 seconds
3
2
1
And the bell rings. I bolt out of the classroom with Harry hot on my heels. I head for the corridor, trying to get shelter from the wind thats blowing ice cold air. Harry notices me shiver, and walks to my right, blocking some of the wind from reaching my shivering body.
'Thank you.' I say to him. He grunts and keeps walking. Accidentally, someone brushes up against my arm, and they mumble an apology before scurrying off. Harry had other ideas though. He stepped behind me, and nugged the passer byre with his shoulder, sending the kid a warning glare.
'Harry!' I scold him. He only keeps looking forward and motions with his head for me to continue to the lockers.
Once arriving at our destination, he waited till I had my bag from my locker, and then walked away.
******
I walk by myself to where the familiar car is parked. I rush up to the old black Honda and open the door eagerly. Reece was sitting in the drivers seat with a gap tooth grin, and a sparkle in his eyes. His hair had been pushed up into a quiff, showing off his abnormally large forehead.
'Nice forehead Reece.' I said with a smirk.
'Lovely to see you to Love. I'm great thanks, yourself?' He replys in a sarcastic tone, the dimpled grin never leaving his face. His eyes shone with amusement at the teasing game infront of him.
'I'm superb now that I'm with you.' I reply honestly.
His eyebrows knit into a frown, but he doesn't say anything. He turns around in his seat, starts the car and drives off with us having our usual conversations and catching up about what's new.
The drive was about 20 minutes from school to his house. The drive was never silent. Weather we were talking, joking, singing loudly and out of tune to the songs on the radio or seeing who could hit the highest note. He won, as usual. My male side showed, with my voice breaking every time I went above a non talking note. I swear that sometimes I'm more of a guy than he is.
When we got to his house, the wind whipped around my body. Reece had a small appartment, all to himself. It was small and cosy. It was decorated with photos of him, his friends and us together. The walls were white and the furniture was old, but it was still in good condition.
The night was filled with amazing fun. We set up our usual cubby fort, burnt the popcorn (multiple times), watched movies, played games and ate to much food. All my worries had gone away, and I was never once depressed or not enjoying myself.
We had slept in our cubby hut that we made out of blankets tossed over chairs that were connected by pegs. It was big enough for a double mattress that was taken off Reece's bed.
We went to bed late, and woke up early for my game. When the alarm went off, I was far from wanting to get off the mattress.
'Come on love,' Reece murmured in a sleepy tone. 'Rise and shine.'
I just groaned and rolled over onto my stomach. I hissed in pain and sat up. Luckily Reece was still half asleep and didn't notice.
'I have a sugar hangover.' I complained. 'It's to much for me to handle.'
'Suck it up princess. Move that ass up and out of bed.' He sleepily demanded and sat up, rubbing his eyes.
Slowly but surely, we had got up and made it to netball. Reece has dropped me off because he had to go into work.
As I watched his car drive away, I felt my happiness slowly starting to decrease too.
*******
Thankyou for reading :)