"Where ya headed, Piper?" Mary Sue Gellopy was perched on her front porch in that old rickety rocking chair that she'd had since before I was even born. Her grey hair moved with the breeze.
"Gonna head over to Aunt Millie's. Daddy said she'd need help with the dinner prep so I volunteered to give her a hand." Everyone, from my momma and daddy to my great aunts and uncles, were back at home helping Jessie Ann get set up for the wedding.
One thing I didn't care too much for was my sister Jessie Ann. I'd had enough of her constant 'me me me' mentality over the years and today was no different. Jessie Ann was marrying Tick Vanson and if you ask me, she was doomed to spend the rest of her life married to an idiot. Tick was no genius and I don't even know how the hell he past the ninth grade, let alone graduated.
"Little ole Jessie Ann McCaleb's finally getting married," Mary Sue replied. Everyone was aware that Jessie Ann was getting hitched. She'd invited the whole damn town and Daddy had been complaining about how much everything cost over the past three months. He'd plain out told Jessie Ann, "Hell, he knocked you up anyway! Might as well take your asses down to the courthouse and call it a day. Wasting all this money on that damned Tick Vanson." Daddy had an odd relationship with Tick and everybody knew it.
Tick worked over on our farm as a stable hand and Daddy told him plain and simple when he first started, He said, "Now I'm willing to give you this job, but if you even think about laying a hand on one of my girls? Well, boy, my foot's gonna be resting pretty in yo back quarters." Daddy wasn't very good at playing menacing I guess, cause about four months ago Jessie Ann came home one day crying about being pregnant. Served her right though. Maybe she'll finally grow up.
"Ya better watch out, Piper. You could be next," Mary Sue let out the deepest laugh followed by one of those smoker's coughs. You'd think she'd lay off the cigarettes after all these years, but momma said she think she smoked at least four packs a day. I didn't reply to Mary Sue, I just waved and went on down the road. Mary Sue didn't know that marriage wasn't in the cards for me. Not living down here, anyway. Small town of Christianly people. My marriage would never be accepted down here. Hell, I'd be lucky if the town, my parents included, didn't drive me out with pitchforks nestled tight in their grasps. No, little Piper McCaleb wouldn't be getting married down here.
Aunt Millie's house was nestled just off the edge of Maple Drive and only about a good twenty-minute walk away from my folks' house. She lived there alone after Uncle Henry died about 8 years ago. It was one of those freak accidents. He was trampled by a Clydesdale and barely lived long enough to say goodbye.
"Aunt Millie? You in there?" I yelled through the screen door. I could hear the soft tapping of feet on the hardwood floor. Millie was wiping her hands on a small dish towel as she unlocked the screen door.
"What did I tell you about yelling?"
"That you're not deaf and you can hear me just fine when I talk normal," I smiled down at her short stature.
"Now give me a hug! Damn it's been too long since you were last home, Pippi."
After high school, I'd managed to get as far away from home as I possibly could. I ended up in Northern California at UC Riverside and I didn't even look back. I occasionally spoke with Aunt Millie over the course of the last 8 years but I hadn't seen her in about a year.
"Get in here and tell me what you've been up to since I last saw you." I rolled my eyes and closed the screen door behind me.
"Millie, I just talked to you yesterday."
"I know, I know. But you've been cooped up in that crazy ass house of Lance and Michelle's. All this wedding shits driving even me up the wall."
"Well, you could have told Jessie Ann no when she asked you to cook," I replied. Millie told me to wash my hands and help her peel the yams.
"You know damn well I couldn't. That mother of yours would have just complained about how she helped me with my wedding. Which, I didn't even ask her to do. Her and my damn brother were just busybodies doing things nobody asked them to do." Millie wasn't very fond of my momma but she hid it quite well, and Daddy being her big brother didn't really help the cause. "Hey now. Quit your daydreaming and tell me what's going on in that nuthouse down the street."
"Daddy had just about through a table piece at Tick's head."
"What? Why?"
"Tick was talking about Colleen Jackson's ass. I swear Uncle Dave had to physically tackle Daddy before he killed Tick."
"That boy ain't got no common sense. None! Lord, bless Jessie Ann's heart. She's gonna be living with that man for the rest of her life...probably."
No one was fooling themselves when it came to this shotgun wedding. The only one who chose to act oblivious was Jessie Ann. Everybody knew Tick didn't have any dreams of being married, let alone to Jessie Ann. My sister was just young and naïve to believe Tick was the man fairytales were written about. Tick Vanson was no Prince Charming, nor would he ever be.
"Well, you know what Joe Vanson says, 'my boy's just a healthy young man. He got spirit!'"
"Joe Vanson is an idiot who raised an idiot." That was the truth. "Anyhow, how are you holding up?" Millie made it sound like someone had just died.
"Whatcha mean?"
"You know, how are you feeling about all this wedding stuff? "
"I'm fine, Millie."
"Yeah, you say that but, Pippi? You just ended a three-year relationship. I know you aren't all that fine." Another reason for me to be annoyed with this wedding brouhaha would definitely be the fact that my engagement had just been called off only a couple of months ago. No one but Millie knew about it, not that anybody would have cared about it.
I had been engaged to a woman, Charlene Therback. We'd been together for three years before I'd worked up the nerve to ask her to marry me. I was planning on telling my folks after Jessie Ann's wedding, but Charlene wasn't ready for marriage. I'd found out the hard way that marriage wasn't on the table. Coincidently, she was on the table when I found out.
Coming back home to help with Jessie Ann's wedding kind of kept me busy. I didn't think too much about Charlene and that was all I wanted. I didn't want to think about what happened so I dealt with Jessie Ann and my momma's bossiness as best as I could.
"Millie, honestly I'm fine. It happened and I'm trying to move passed it. This wedding ain't about me, it's about little Jessie Ann."
I could feel Millie's eyes squinting in my direction. She was willing to glare at me until she found the reaction she was looking for. I guess she didn't find one so she settled for bossing me around the kitchen instead.
Later that evening, I was dressed in the gaudy looking dress Jessie Ann made her bridesmaids wear. There were five of us, and each one of us looked like the gunk you find in a pond. The loose fitting, parrot green dress was far from beautiful. It hung loose at just the wrong places. Jessie Ann said she didn't want any of the bridesmaids trying to out stage her. In that ugly piece of fabric, none of us would ever be able to do just that, not to mention that bump noticeably poking through her dress was gonna be a showstopper anyhow.
I didn't really know any of Jessie Ann's friends as they were all around her age and I was a good six years older than them. Unfortunately, I went to school with Tick so I knew every last one of his groomsmen. Tick's best man, Mike, spent the better part of the evening trying to hit on me. Daddy walked over to me and gave him a hard stare and that seemed to do the trick.
"Got damn snakes trying to get their grubby little tails on my girls," he mumbled before heading to the bar. I didn't bother mentioning that Tick had already succeeded with Jessie Ann.
By the time we were all setting up for Mr. and Mrs. Tick Vanson to make their entrance for the reception and dinner, I was damn near ready to shoot my foot off. I'd been forced to run all over the place fixing centerpieces and flower ornaments. I was overworked both physically and mentally. I had had enough of being with my family to last me a lifetime.
"Excuse me? Do you know where I can find my seat?" I looked over to my left and was brought face-to-face with a woman I'd thought I had never seen before.
"Uhm, yeah? What's your name and I can direct you there."
"The names Melissa Gellopy," she said.
"Melly Gelly? I haven't seen you in years!" I hugged her. Melissa was Mary Sue's niece and she use to visit Mary Sue very often when we were kids.
"It's great to see you, Pippi. It's really been too long." Her eyes roamed my face. She looked happy to see me and I guess that was expected. We were really close when we were brats growing up.
I helped her find her seat before promising to catch up after Jessie Ann and Tick made their entrance.
After the entrance, I made my way back to Melissa. She was sitting with a group of Tick's friends. I pulled her away from the group of grabby men and whisked her off to the open bar. We spent the rest of the evening catching up before all the single women were called onto the dance floor for the bouquet toss. Somehow, Melissa and myself ended up in the throng of single and desperate women.
"Alright ladies, put your hands up high. On the count of three, Jessie Ann, toss it up," my cousin, the DJ, said. "One." I looked at Melissa and shook my head. She let out a laugh. "Two." The other single women began to push each other out of the way. "Three!" Jessie Ann released the bouquet as all the single women began to wrestle for it. I looked to Melissa to see if she thought it was as comical as I did. I shouldn't have turned my head.
Next thing I know, Jessie Ann's bouquet smacks me across my head and lands in the hands of Melissa. She looks at me, then to the bouquet, and then back to me. The look on my face must have been really comical cause she burst into a fit of laughter, trying to cover her face with the bouquet. I joined in only moments later.
~ ~ ~
"Why are you guys still up? Its bedtime. That means go to sleep."
"But ma."
"But ma, nothing. Off to bed you three. And you, how many times are you going to tell this story, Pippi?"
"For the rest of my life, Melly." I smiled at her before tucking the kids into bed.
"What happened next, mommy?" Sarah asked. I kissed her on the forehead.
"Little Piper McCaleb got married and lived happily ever after. The end. Goodnight, sweet pea."