I dreamed about the Selection. All thirty-five girls, me included, and the dark haired girl stood in line. Maxon was going down the line and kissing each one of us.
Aspen stood in his guard uniform right behind Maxon. He twirled his knife in his hands. Clarkson and Amberly stood a little ways away, looking at me with pity.
When Maxon reached me, the last in line, Aspen raised his knife and plunged it through Maxon's heart. Maxon collapsed into my arms.
I woke up screaming.
I had this dream for days and when I wasn't asleep, it haunted my thoughts. Maxon would try to comfort me and I would push him away. It hurt to not be next to him, but I wasn't ready.
Eventually, I worked up the nerve to speak to Maxon. "Who is she?" He sighed with relief at the sound of my voice. Maxon started to walk over, but I gave him a warning glare and he stopped in the middle of the room. He knew I didn't want him to be near me. But did he care? Of course not. He sat down right next to me. My body leaned into him, totally against my will.
Maxon threw an arm around me. We sat in silence until he said, "Her name is Erika. She's the rebel leader's daughter. I was told to keep her happy or they would kill you."
I looked at him. His eyes were sad and pleading. They were like windows to his thoughts. Maxon wanted me back. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see his parents. He was scared.
"I don't care if you would rather be dead than have me with another girl. I would rather be with another girl than having to go through life knowing I could have saved you. Saved the spark that lives in you. The spark that drew me to you. The spark that made me stay with you. Erika means nothing to me. I only care about you."
I was torn. Maxon was being completely honest. I could feel it. But images of Erika still burned in the back if my mind.
I took a leap of faith. If he loved me, he wouldn't let me down. "I'm sorry I said that I hate you. It's not true. I was just upset. It just hurt, you know? Do you forgive me?"
"If I said no, would you kiss me?" He was joking, so I gave him a flirtatious smile.
"Not a chance." He chuckled and leaned his forehead against mine. His breath tickled my face.
"Well then, I guess I say yes." I smiled as the tension between us faded away. I leaned in until his mouth was nearly on mine. His anticipation was heavy in the air. I was feeling particularly cheeky right then, so I gave him a teasing, wisp of a kiss.
When he leaned back in, I put a finger on his lips. "Nope. That's all you get." Maxon gave me a confused smile and removed my finger. He leaned in, once again. I jumped to my feet and giggled, "No, Maxon. I was serious. You're done for now."
He gave me a pouty look and whined, "But that's not fair. You can't do that and expect to get away so easily." He got to his feet and pulled me close. Maxon tilted is head and attempted to kiss me again.
At the last second, I backed away and put my back against the wall. "All's fair in love and war, Maxon."
He strutted up to me and put his hands on the wall, one on each side of my head. His eyes locked on to my lips and I could feel his desire coming off him in waves. "You're driving me insane, you know that, America?" I nodded silently. We stayed there until the gravity was too much.
It was explosive. Heat creeped to my cheeks. I moaned as my knees buckled, but Maxon held me upright. I felt a sudden longing to be back at the castle, to be home, to be anywhere but here where our every was being observed.
I started to cry from the ache forming in my heart. Maxon's hand came to my cheek. "What's wrong, love?"
"We need to go home."
"I know."