XXXVI.
Trigger Warning - Implication of self harm
Jealousy really sucked.
"Camila!" Lauren rushed forward and took my arm in her hand, gripping it tight. " I asked you if you wanted me to stay with you, and you told me to go!"
"I told you to go because I didn't want to be the thing that stood in between you and your friend!" I protested, my frustration building with the lightning that was dangerously close to hitting both of us. "I didn't want you to stay that night because I wanted you to, I wanted you to stay because you wanted to!"
"Okay." Lauren took a deep breath. "Stop, that's enough."
"If you're going to tell me more of what you've already tried, then I don't want to hear it." I let the cluster of light grow larger, the sound of the electricity crackling through the air like a hoard of angry birds. "I'm not staying here if all you're going to do is ignore me!"
"Stop." Lauren cupped her hand underneath mine and dug her nails hard against my skin. The lightning began to recede, capping off and causing the room to fall once more into a low lit darkness. "You've said enough, it's my turn to talk."
"Talk." I nodded, taking my hand away from hers and rubbing at my eyes.
Stopping her movements when she was only inches away, Lauren's hands landed on my hips, gripping me tight and pulling me into her body. I had no chance to wrench away, for her movements were so fast and steady that the next thing I felt was her mouth was on mine. With a sharp inhale, I snapped my eyes closed and shivered when her tongue permitted entry on its own.
After a long moment of the girl exploring past my lips, she pulled away, eyes glazed over with emotion.
"Camila... if I've done anything to make you feel jealous, then I've failed miserably at the one job I've given myself." Lauren spoke, brushing her lips to mine multiple times as she did so. Running her hands from my hips up the sides of my body, I closed my eyes, letting her ghost the areas of my face that were still wet with tears.
"So... Normani is..."
"My friend, nothing more." Lauren trailing her hands down my arms and gripping my wrists. The moment she made contact with the markings, they began to heat up with familiarity. "You're the only woman I'm ever going to see Camila, no matter how many cross my path. I've committed everything I've got to you. Only you."
"So why have you spent the last two nights with her?"
"I got caught up." Lauren pressed her forehead to mine, locking our lips again and letting the kiss unfold. "Camila, you have to understand that I've been alone for so many years now, and all of a sudden I have friends again. I have Normani, I have the others back in Miami... and I have you. It's hard for me to process all this at once, it's a lot to handle."
I bit my lip, already missing the feeling of her mouth on mine.
"I'm sorry." I murmured. "I might have overreacted... I just, I've been in a lot of pain recently, and ever since I met you, you were the thing that made all that go away."
"You didn't overreact." Lauren kissed me again, and I actively craned my neck with the hopes of keeping her mouth pressed to my own for as long as possible. "Camila, if what you need is for me to be by your side every second of the day then that's what you'll get."
I furrowed my brow. "But I don't want to keep you from seeing your friends." I protested softly. "You never stopped me from seeing Shawn and Dinah back when we were in Miami."
"Hey." Lauren lifted me up against her body, taking all the weight off my foot and bringing me over to the bed. She lay me back, setting me down on the mattress and crawling up so her strong body hovered over mine. "You and I are different, as much as I like to believe we're two halves of the same person, we aren't. I love you so much Camila. You come before everyone else."
"Only me?"
"Only you." Lauren smiled softly, shaking her head and kissing me again. "You terrified me when they took you away like that." She murmured. "It crossed my mind that I wasn't ever going to see you again; you have no idea how scared I was."
"You're cute." I smiled up at her, humming when she kissed me yet again.
"No more recklessness, I promised Shawn that I would do everything I could to keep you safe." Lauren proposed, going down on her elbows and burying her nose against my neck. I felt her lips begin to suck harshly at my skin, tongue and teeth working in tandem to leave what I could feel was going to be a deep mark. "No more pushing me away so you take the damage. No more leaving without telling me... I never want to see the woman I love staring down the barrel of a gun again. Twice is enough."
"Deal." I thread my fingers through her hair, pressing her closer and sighing when she dragged her teeth against my neck.
"I'm not done here yet." Lauren murmured, pulling back and gazing down at me. Her eyes were so full of love I could have sworn they glowed like those of a cat in the night. "But I need to go and get my things from Normani's room. You'll be okay here for a bit?"
"Yeah." I nodded. "Wait, one more thing."
"What's that?"
I gripped the front of Lauren's top, pulling her down against me for a bruising kiss. While my lips were busy with hers, I reached up and trailed my fingers through her hair, teasing it back and to the side the way I liked it best. Her lips were flushed when I pulled away, and I looked on in satisfaction as she moved breathlessly from atop my body and teetered on her feet.
The girl looked like tangible lust as she floated towards the door and glanced over her shoulder to throw me a sultry wink.
That night, the two of us spent a good amount of time just talking, catching up on all the time together we had missed. She explained to me where she had retrieved her new equipment, where she had gone, and how she liked using the dual iron rods as her weapon of choice. Apparently she preferred the steel bars because they could be used as an easy conductor for her power, as well as a simple, lightweight tool to spear clean through an attacker.
An hour or so later, I had my injured ankle elevated on a pillow as I explained to her what it felt like to get torn up by pure electricity from the inside out. Listening with wide, sympathetic eyes, Lauren happily massaged the area around the swollen joint, easing the pain.
"You should sleep." The girl informed me after she had finished up her massage with a gentle pat to my calf. "It's hard to tell, but it's getting late."
Yawning in agreement, I used the strength in my upper body to shimmy up against the pillows and lie back, closing my eyes. Lauren slid off the bed for a moment, then returned wearing nothing but a black sports bra and a pair of cotton shorts.
Peeling the covers back, Lauren waited for me to slide underneath before doing the same herself.
"Shirt." The green eyed girl tugged at one of the cutouts against my waist. "Take it off."
With a small nod, I pulled off the top and tossed it lazily to the ground. My leggings quickly followed, and to compensate, Lauren reached for my backpack to retrieve some loose comfortable clothing to sleep in. Once I was satisfied in my own bra and shorts, she snuggled up against me, pulling the covers over us both and nuzzling her way against my neck once again.
"How am I going to explain the hickeys tomorrow?" I asked quietly, blowing out the candle on the nightside table and bathing the room in darkness.
"Who says you have to explain yourself to anyone?" She asked back, lifting her head and pulling her hair to the side to make more room for the both of us.
"I guess I don't." I smirked, lifting my chin to allow her better access.
"So... are we going to be okay Camila?"
"Camz." I corrected her, giggling when her lips brushed my neck again. "And yeah, we're going to be just fine."
"Camz." Lauren slid her arms tighter around my waist, the nickname coming out in a soft, laughter-lined breath. "Goodnight love. Sleep well."
"You're not going to sleep?" I asked, glancing down at her momentarily.
"Not yet." She smirked back. "I've got work to do."
I closed my eyes, sighing back against the pillows and letting Lauren take to my neck like a hungry vampire. Through a combination of her intoxicating proximity and my terribly sleep deprived state, I was able to slip into a heavy slumber in a matter of minutes.
***
The following morning, I woke to a soft tickle against the curve of my neck and a wonderful warmth folded against my back. Turning over slowly, a sharp shooting pain began to radiate from the base of my ankle up my shin, and I grumbled in the newfound discomfort. Lauren's arms wrapping tight around my waist took some of the edge off however, even more so when her fingers began to dance against my stomach.
"Good morning beautiful." The girl murmured. "Did you sleep alright?"
"Yeah." I smiled, turning over and rubbing at my eyes. "My foot hurts though."
"I bet." The girl sat up, shuffling her legs off the bed. "You should probably take a look at you neck... I might have gone a little overboard."
Frowning, I followed her off the bed and let her grip my waist to keep the weight off my bad ankle. Once standing in front of the mirror, I looked up and gasped at the sight. My skin that had once been a pristinely maintained bronze was now coated on every side with deep red speckles, some clustered closer together than others. Lauren's necklace sat at my throat, surrounded by a number of deep red markings.
"Lauren!" I scolded playfully, lifting my chin and breaking into a smile as I brought my fingers up and brushed the pads to the marked skin. "Oh my gosh, did you even sleep at all last night?"
"Not really." Lauren pressed her fingers against my hip. "I sorta got started, and I didn't really want to stop."
A few moments of thick silence, and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest when she scooped me into her arms and backed up to sit on the bed. "What are you doing?" I asked meekly, wrapping my arms around her own smooth, unmarked neck.
"Not starting again, that's for sure." Lauren set me back against the bed elevating my foot again. "Let's shower, then we'll take you down to Ally and see what she can do for your ankle."
We did so, Lauren being more than an asset for when I needed to keep weight off my foot. The girl had also unwrapped the bandages on my left arm, and took the time to examine the lichtenberg scars that had made their home on my body.
"Is there any pain?" Lauren asked, taking my arm in her hand and brushing her fingers over the skin.
"There was a little bit when I was fighting with Normani." I replied honestly. "But usually, no. It only happens when I'm really stressed, or when there are a lot of emotions."
Lauren pressed her body close to mine, wrapping her arms around me from behind as the hot water filtered through the shower-head and cleaned the last week of filth off my body. "Luckily the training I have in mind for you today isn't going to require any movement on your feet." She mumbled in my ear. "And I'm going to make sure that you don't lose control the way you have over the past few days."
I didn't reply, only leaned back into her body and placed my hands over hers. The warm water between us created a bubble that made me want to remain there forever.
Unfortunately I had to succumb to Lauren's insistence that we finish up and go see Ally. The brunette gave me a series of small painkillers as well as a single crutch and a fresh strip of bandage for my arm. She then led us both to one of the largest rooms in the underground complex, cut from a unique type of pale blue stone that was unlike the normal orange on every other wall. The ceiling was extremely high, leading me to ponder just how far into the earth we really were.
"This is the room that we use to do most of our training." Ally explained, striking a match and holding it to a thin wire. The flame devoured it within seconds, lighting a series of large torches that were all interconnected. The room lit up beautifully, soft golden light against deep blue stone.
"Be careful you two." Ally told us, shooting me a smirk. "And no funny business. Remember this room is meant for training, not...fooling around."
Lauren planted a sure kiss against my temple in response, and I gave Ally a grin before she dipped out of the room and vanished down the hall.
"Lauren." Normani's voice was the one I heard next. "You'll let me know when you're finished up here? There are a few maintenance things I needed you to help me with today."
I hid my scowl by turning around, seating myself so my back was to the girl.
"I'm sorry Mani." Lauren looked up at her friend kindly. "Camila needs me, I'm going to be here for the rest of the day. Is there anyone else who can give you a hand?"
"Yeah of course, I can totally make arrangements." Normani flicked a few stray hairs out of her face. "What are the two of you doing anyway?"
"We're going to be working on controlling her abilities." Lauren explained excitedly.
While Normani nodded in approval, I took the liberty of tying my hair up in a high ponytail, leaving a few loose strands around my face as a feeble attempt at hiding my neck.
"Wow sparky." Normani circled us once, crouching down and lifting an eyebrow at me. "You look like you had a fun night."
"Call me that one more time and I'll knock that smirk off your face" I muttered, pursing my lips.
"Alright enough." Lauren held her hands up. "Mani, if you're going to watch, do it quietly from over there. Camila? I want you to close your eyes and focus."
With a nod, I crossed my legs under me slowly and straightened my spine, pretending that rather than being a million feet underground, I was sitting atop a grassy hill in Nashville Tennessee. Blue sky above, wind blowing every strand of hair off my neck, and the smell of high end street food wafting through the air put an easy smile on my face.
"I want you to focus on trying to find the root of your power." Lauren told me, her voice level and husky. I inhaled slowly, placing my hands on my knees and trying to not focus on the pain in my foot.
"The root?"
"The centre." Lauren said again. "Everyone has a will. For some people, it comes out in their ability to play a sport, maybe it manifests itself as intelligence in the lab, or in the microphone they hold on stage. For you, your will takes the form of lightning. I want you to find that will and focus on it. Find what it is that makes your body act the way it does."
"Easier said than done." I mumbled under my breath, curling the corner of my mouth up into a smirk when Lauren nudged me playfully in the leg.
"C'mon Camila, I know you can do it."
I kept my eyes closed, but the only thing I could see was darkness.
"Camz, you said yourself that lightning was special, do you remember that?"
Eyes popping open, I blinked at her, awaiting more wisdom.
"You wrote in your journal back at home that lightning was special. You talked about the different gods and goddesses that represented thunder and lightning in mythology, like Zeus and Thor." Lauren smiled. "And it's not just that. When I first introduced you to this world, you reacted completely different from the way I thought you would."
"I did?"
"Yeah." Lauren nodded. "I thought you were going to be afraid. I thought that for sure I would need to teach you how to fend for yourself, and how to be brave in the face of danger. But you didn't need to be taught. You hit the ground running, and even on our first encounter with Silent Hill security, you spat in his face even though you knew he was visibly armed."
I closed my eyes again, recalling that moment when I put everything on the line to withhold Lauren's whereabouts.
"You're dauntless Camila. You're reckless, you're headstrong, and you don't take no for an answer. On the outside, you look like a doe-eyed, fragile baby animal, but those who really know you know that what's inside is very much unbreakable. To everyone walking on the street, you're beautiful... to those who you've struck, you're both beautiful and deadly. A fearful combination."
I inhaled, feeling the sparks begin to crawl up and down my left arm. Rather than letting her continue, I began to speak myself, letting my voice blend into hers as less of an interruption, more of a continuation.
"My root." I breathed. "I feel... like my entire life all I've been doing is climbing the exact same mountain over and over again. Whenever I got to the top, something in my life would just implode, and I would get knocked back down again."
"Keep going." Lauren pressed.
"When I was in elementary school, I would get bullied all the time because of the way I dressed, and I was too scared to tell an adult. Four out of the five days I would come home after school, run upstairs and crawl under my bed, crying myself to sleep because of how awful I felt."
I could tell both Lauren and Normani were listening, but I didn't care. Somewhere along the way, I began to speak for myself, rather than for the people around me.
"I wouldn't eat, I lost weight, and my parents didn't know what was wrong with me so they put me in the hospital for an eating disorder that I never had..."
I paused for a moment, feeling something new begin to bubble in my gut. "In high school, things just got worse. I hated the person I was only because I felt I wasn't good enough for anybody. People resented me because of my appearance, girls in my grade would make up stories and tell lies. It gave me terrible anxiety, simply considering what others thought."
"Things got so bad that I would hurt myself, and the pain would be liberating." I said softly, keeping my eyes closed. "I never told a soul, and to this day my family has no idea... I always wore shirts that had long sleeves and high collars."
I heard someone move in the room, but it the sound didn't echo close enough for it to be Lauren.
"At the end of my junior year, my grandmother died. She was the only one in my family who pushed me to pursue my writing. She believed that people should strive to do the things they love, and practicality had little to do with the path you chose. Then before my senior year began, I lost my mom." My voice broke. "She was my whole world, the one thing I could truly turn to when everyone else had their backs to me. I felt like all the important women in my life were suddenly leaving me... and I didn't understand why. I still don't."
I felt a hand on my knee, but didn't open my eyes. I could feel the sparkling sensation in my fingers, steadily growing and creating a network of electrical charge in my palms. It was different than before, more controlled and less wild.
"Then when my family moved, I gave up the chance to watch my sister grow up. I may not see her for years now, and when I do it won't be for more than a few days. Our relationship is never going to be the same again, she's never going to see me as the role model she deserves, instead I'm just the older sibling who selfishly abandoned the family."
I felt the hand move from my knee to my arm, giving me a gentle shake.
"Camila, it's time for all of that to change now." She said softly, causing my eyes to open slowly and her frame to shudder into focus. "That's what your root is. That's why you have this power."
"It is?"
"It is." The voice was neither mine nor Lauren's. I looked to the side of the room and saw that Normani was on her feet, watching us both.
"Mani." Lauren warned. "This isn't the time to-"
"I'm not going to make any jokes." Normani shook her head, interrupting the girl and approaching us both. "At least not right now." Looking up at me, she stopped a few feet away from Lauren, one hand on her hip, the other hanging limp at her side. "Camila, you've spent your entire life fighting. You've been struck by lightning time after time, and every time you've been able to get back up."
I looked up at her, listening to her words carefully and letting the power feed into my hands.
"Now, it's time that you experience a reversal of those roles. It's time for you to do the striking."
Lauren nodded. "You're a good person Camila. You're kind, and loving, and you care about others despite losing so much that you care for yourself. Just look at the way you took me in, you wouldn't let up until I got in the car because you didn't want me out in the rain."
I looked over at the girl, smiling at the memory.
"You've lost so much, and the universe has never returned to you anything you deserve." Lauren continued. "But now you've been given a chance to make that right. That's the root of this power. That's why your body has accepted this mutation."
Normani took a few more steps towards us, holding out her hand. There was a small squeak, and I gasped when I saw Lauren's body was becoming encased in a crystalline like substance. The girl craned her neck, catching my eyes with just a hint of fear before they dropped closed.
"Normani!" I stood up abruptly, the energy I had been so calmly fostering now starting to conglomerate in my left hand. My right foot began to ache in pain as I induced an equal amount of weight upon it. "Stop! What are you doing?!"
"Free her." Normani commanded, lifting her hand; the ice moving with it. "Quickly, or she'll suffocate."
"Stop!" I limped forward, the sparkling cluster of lightning appearing in the palm of my left hand. With every second that passed, the electricity crawled further and further up my arm, streaming through my veins and feeding off my concern for Lauren. The girl had closed her eyes, and the ice was now cloaking over her face.
"Free her!" Normani shouted, more aggressive this time.
Glaring at her, I completely ignored the burn in my right foot and darted forward so the palm of my hand made contact with the ice. The lightning in my fist began to trickle out, sparkling along the surface and creating a pattern very much like the one that covered my own skin.
"That's not enough." Normani coaxed, appearing behind me and patching up the cracks I made just as fast as I made them. "Strength like that isn't going to get you very far in this world."
"I'm trying as hard as I can, you're not exactly making it easy for me!" I shouted over the blood rushing through my ears. "Just let her go!"
I was grabbed by the collar and hurled backwards, my body skidding across the floor and landing in a pile on the other side of the room. Normani stood in front of Lauren, the ice still enveloping the girl, whose cheeks were turning a light shade of blue.
"Remember what the root of your power is." Normani scowled down at me. "Remember the reason why your body has changed this way! If you really care about her at all, you'll use that to save her!"
My ankle screamed in pain as I rose to my feet again and took a running start towards both girls. Normani slowly lifted one hand, and from within the ground before me burst a large clear spike made from packed ice. I stumbled backwards, narrowly missing it's upward trajectory. The ground broke again a few feet away, and I could just hear Normani's faint chuckle rise with her power.
"You're wielding a weapon, aren't you?" The fledgling questioned, gazing at me. "Make that knife a true extension of your body!"
I furrowed my brow, reaching behind and grabbing both knives from my belt. The electricity fed from my left hand into the corresponding blade, and with one angry swing I found that I could slice through the material like it was butter. Unfortunately the righthand weapon still barely made a dent.
Once the barricades were nothing but crystals on the floor, I rapidly traveled the rest of the room and shouldered Normani out of the way, thankful that the girl didn't put up any further resistance. Lauren was still sitting crosslegged, seemingly at peace underneath the blanket of ice. I brought the lightning enhanced knife up and struck it hard, frustration exploding in my chest when the contact emerged feeble.
"Good, but you need to be stronger." Normani's voice was exponentially closer than before. "C'mon sparky, you can do better than that."
"Stop this!" I cried, hurling both knives at her and biting down on my lip when she sidestepped their trajectory like it was nothing. The electricity faded off the infused weapon, and it clattered to the ground. "Normani, let her go!"
"No." Normani folded her arms over her chest. "You can't learn by having things done for you. You learn through pain."
"That's all I've ever known! You don't need to make it worse!" I turned away from her and completely broke down, letting every ounce of adrenaline seep into my left fist, uncaring as to whether it left me in a coma again. Meeting the ice with my knuckles, an earsplitting crack sliced the air around me in half; the sound sending even Normani recoiling back in shock. Lauren's confines shattered, falling to a series of snowcapped chunks on the ground.
Once free, the girl released a wild field around her body, pushing me away and sending herself into a backwards collapse as well. She was coughing, her arms curled around her side and body rolling into a violent shiver.
I scrambled to my feet and scurried over, dropping to my knees at her side and quickly pulling the girl up against my chest. Cupping my hand at the back of Lauren's head, I cursed at no one in particular under my breath as her body trembled in my arms.
"Cold." Lauren rasped. "Really cold."
"What's wrong with you?!" I shouted across the room, glaring at Normani. "You could have really hurt her!"
"Th— that was thunder." Normani stammered, turning around to where a series of other people had gathered around the entrance to the room and were watching with fearful eyes. "You created thunder."
"Camila!" Ally was rushing inside, stopping at my side and kneeling down. "Whatever you just did echoed throughout the entire underground, what happened?"
"I don't know." I clutched Lauren closer.
"Let me see her." Ally placed a hand on my arm. "I have some supplies here that were just on their way to storage."
"No." I murmured feebly, tucking the green eyed girl underneath my chin and attempting to feed my warmth into her the way she so expertly could with me.
With a gentle smile, Ally gave my left arm a soft squeeze. "I admire your passion." She told me, lifting a hand and waving. Seemingly out of nowhere, two young girls rushed forward and stopped behind her, each of them carrying a series of supplies in their arms. Normani was nearing as well. "We just need to take a look at her, and you as well. Your ankle isn't getting any better by running around like a rabbit, and it looks like there's some damage in your left hand."
"Oh... okay." Reluctant at best, I loosened my arms from around Lauren and let Ally take her and wrap her body in a thick blanket.
"Hey." A young, rustic voice caught my attention. I found myself looking at a girl with long dark hair that was tied up in a messy bun. She donned an outfit that was identical to the others, a black v-neck shirt and matching sweatpants. "I'm just going to re-tape your ankle alright?
"Alright." I nodded. "Who are you again?"
"The name's Amber, and that over there is my teammate Rachel." The girl smiled. "The two of us work with Ally."
I fought back the urge to make a joke about my fake ID as the girl took my foot and slowly slid my boot off, inspecting the swollen joint. The second went right ahead and lifted my left arm in her hands, turning my hand over to reveal a layer of bright red damage over my knuckles and down my wrist.
"You've really overworked yourself Camila." Ally informed me, handing over a spray bottle of a clear, colourless fluid. It was quickly administered to my hand, cooling down the heat that was emanating from the wound before the entire appendage was wrapped in a bandage similar to that already on my arm. "I thought Lauren told you there wasn't going to be any running around in your training today?"
"I thought she did too." I agreed, glaring over at Normani.
"It's okay." Lauren had opened her eyes and was sitting next to the girl with the blanket wrapped tight around her. "I told her to do it."
"You did?"
"Well, I told her to go easy on both of us because of your ankle." Lauren added, giving her friend a pointed look. "And she did kinda push you a little further than I anticipated, but yeah. I had planned that from the beginning."
"You did well, sparky." Normani stood up, heading over to me and holding out her hand as if it were an offering.
Sighing in defeat, I took it and let her help me up on one foot. "I thought you were done calling me that."
"Oh, far from it." Normani shrugged. "But I'm serious. You did actually impress me, I didn't know it was possible to actually produce thunder. I think it's going to be fun training you to determine the rest of the potential you've got locked away. Good job."
Looking down at Lauren, I noticed the girl was looking at me proudly.
"Thanks." I nodded, catching just the hint of a smile from the dark skinned beauty before she gestured to Ally and left the room, leaving Lauren and I alone. I hobbled over on one foot, using my good hand to clamber down to the ground and sit facing her. Her lips were slightly blue, but the colour in her cheeks had returned.
"All that stuff you said about your past..." Lauren asked, her voice small. "Did all that really happen?"
I gave her a small nod.
Reaching over, Lauren took my left hand and turned it face up. Her fingers brushed gently over my wrist, the bottom triangle and it's upper reversal so prominent against my skin. As the pads of her fingers moved, they left a soft warm feeling, despite how cold her body was.
Warmth. My hypothesis from the night at Disneyworld was growing, as was my love for the blanketed girl before me.
***
A/N: A little bit of fluff and some interesting conclusions. I'm gonna throw another chapter up right away because I feel like we didn't get very far in terms of plot. But that doesn't mean it wasn't important. There are very few things in this fic that I'd put in the "unimportant" list. The hamster was one of them. Shawn's prom date was another. There are a number of things in this chapter that I hope you find yourselves remembering as we move forward. Thank you for reading!