"Harry?" I asked questioningly.
"What?" he said sounding aggravated. I looked down intently on my faded out converse. I really need to buy new ones, there's a hole where my big toe is. Just a tiny little hole, which could turn into a gaping hole if I don't stop wearing them soon. Wait. Off topic.
I thought long and hard about what I was going to say. When I looked back up Harry was already staring intently at the spot where our eyes would meet. If I'm being honest here I was terrified to tell him what was on my mind. It was quite frankly that his replied words would shatter me whole. I knew Harry was growing impatient because I could see he was bouncing on the balls of his feet unconsciously from the corner of my eye.
I'm probably really annoying to him. Why do I even try? Why do I just keep trying? I'm a failure, I think everyone knows that. I've always been insecure, I can't ever help it. But why couldn't I say the words on the tip of my tongue. The words that were bouncing around the inside of my head. I wish I could voice them aloud. But I'm too shy and introvert. I can't do this. I was well aware cars and people were passing us by on the pavement but of course we were blocking them from their much needed to be at destinations.
The fact that it was close to midnight was coming to realization to me when I pulled my already closely clad coat tighter against my fair skinned arms. Harry was still gazing at me whilst I was distracting myself with any and everything to avoid the topic being spoken. Tears were springing to the brink of my eyes. I quickly looked down once again to hide my damp and puffy eyes.
"I'm sorry I need to go" I informed Harry avoiding glancing at his face, more importantly his eyes. Hoping he wouldn't catch onto my effortless lie. I shifted my feet and headed back to my apartment full of shame and loneliness. That was until he gripped my arm and firmly but gently spun me around.
He immediately searched my eyes with his and as soon as he saw the tears in mine I swear I could see his heart warm. His perfect lips that I wish I could kiss all the time turned upside down into a slight frown. I could see the sympathy in his features they were tense yet relaxed.
One tear rolled down my rosy cheek and Harry was quick to brush it away with the pad of his thumb. He held me carefully in his muscular arms as if he was afraid I'd leave him. I can't blame him... I've tried.
"Lilah, what's wrong?" he ask
quizzedly.
I hesitated for a moment before fully answering. The light had turned green and was cars were flying by. I looked deep into his emerald eyes.
"I'm afraid you don't love me." I answered honestly and shamefully.
Harry looked away as if he was afraid of my confession. This is exactly what I was avoiding. I feel like a child stating something imprudent. And if it were even possible, Harry slowly but quickly removed his arms that were entwined around me.
Harry turned his head to look at the slowing down traffic and he was staring at the coffee shop across the intersection. After what felt like days Harry spoke hastily and unconvinced.
"I'm incapable of loving." Harry paused momentarily as if he wanted to say more but stopped himself. Minutes passed until I opened my mouth and said the first thought that crossed my mind.
"Or is your heart just slivered?"
•••
Hiii! This is just a quick preview. (P.S. its from the future so I have a whole story line.) Aye? The chapters will be longer when I get around to updating. DFTBA :)