FIFTH | Crush
AWKWARD.
Ilang na napatikhim si Seungcheol habang hinahayaan niyang suriin siya ni Jihoon nang walang ka-emo-emosyon sa kanyang mukha. Tumikhim siya at ipinalibot ang paningin, he's looking everywhere but Jihoon's eyes which were obviously staring at him with question.
Are you done staring? Kasi takte, hindi ako makapag-explain kung ganyan ka makatingin.
Seungcheol figured that's just how Jihoon stares. Albeit they usually seem void of any emotion, there are traces of faint curiosity and question in his eyes if you look closely enough, if you stare long enough. Huli na nang mapagtanto ni Seungcheol na 'yon pala ang ginagawa niya sa sandaling 'yon. Nahinto na pala ang ginagawa niyang pag-iiwas nang tingin at nauwi ang kanyang mga mata kay Jihoon at sa kanyang maliit na pigura. At ngayo'y—oh wow naka-oversized pullover na naman ito. Napapansin na ni Seungcheol ang hilig ng lalaking 'to sa pullovers, sweatshirts tsaka jackets na mas malaki pa sa kanya. They often come in variety of colors and design but of the same kind. Still oversized. Still the big clothes that made him seem even smaller than he already his. Hindi ba alam ni Jihoon ang malaking epekto ng mga sinusuot niya sa kaliitan niya—
"Seungcheol?"
All in a flash, Seungcheol was snapped back from the reverie he fell in. Tumikhim ulit siya tsaka sinubukang ayusin ang boses niya. "Natanggap mo ba ang message ko?"
It took a few seconds for Jihoon to stare at him then fish his phone out of his pullover pockets. Tiningnan niya ito saglit tsaka umiling. "Wala akong natanggap."
Damn, Seungcheol mentally cursed. Sana pala sinabi ko na lang sa buddy app.
Jihoon stared back at him with both brows raised. Seungcheol feared this to happen. Pero wala na siyang ibang magawa kundi ang paulit-ulit na murahin ang sarili sa kanyang isip.
"May kailangan ka?"
Fuck, Seungcheol cursed again then closed his eyes. It really is harder to do than it looks. Kung sana natanggap lang ni Jihoon ang kanyang tinext, hindi na siya mangyayari 'to e. Ang plano kasi, ite-text niya sa Jihoon, pagbubuksan siya nito sa oras na kumatok siya at matutulog sa loob ng unit ng lalaki nang walang imikang magaganap dahil nasabi na niya lahat nang gusto niyang sabihin sa pamamagitan ng text. Hindi na niya kailangang maranasan ang ilang at hiya na mararanasan niya sa oras na kakailanganin niyang pakiusapan si Jihoon sa personal.
Yes, in his mind, his plan was so freaking flawless it could never fail.
And yet it did. Right now. Kasi tangina, hindi pala natanggap ni Jihoon ang kay haba-haba niyang mensahe na nagpapaliwanag kung bakit siya ngayon nandito sa harap ng kanyang unit at parang isang asong galang walang masilungan sa ulan (Atleast good for him because it isn't raining but you get the point). And now, fucking great because he had to retell his unfortunate fate to Jihoon and hey! It's in personal! Hindi naman talaga masyadong awkward at nakakahiya, hindi talaga!
Fuck whatever network he was using now. Bakit ba kasi siya nagtext—aish!
Hindi na kasi niya nabuksan ang buddy account niya nang buong araw. It was rare for him not to check his SNS accounts but he was especially busy today he didn't have the chance to. Tsaka mas madaling buksan ang texting app niya kaya 'yon ang ginamit niya para i-message si Jihoon.
No use regretting now. Seungcheol begrudgingly contemplated as he rubbed his neck. Peste nakakahiya.
Well, at least hindi siya mauutal-utal ngayon 'di ba? Si Seungcheol pa!
"U-Um, ano . . ." As soon as his voice cracked at the end, Seungcheol wanted to die right there and then.
It's a good thing Jihoon was unable to show any trace of emotion on his face. Kasi kung tinawanan pa siya nito o kaya nginitian man lang pagkatapos niyang pumiyok, baka saksakin na niya ang sarili gamit ang ballpeng nasa loob ng bulsa niya.
Seungcheol clenched his jaw and let out a desperate attempt at sounding indifferent for the sake of his dignity. "Ano, may ointment ka ba d'yan para sa muscle pains?"
Yes, because asking for muscle pains ointment is the most natural thing you can ask of at 10 PM at night right?
Ting Ning Ning! Choi Seungcheol is the biggest idiot of them all! Hurray!
Jihoon blinked again, and Seungcheol couldn't pinpoint exactly if that's just him being really delayed at picking up things or Jihoon just trying to look cute.
Coz you know. It kinda works.
"Uh, meron ata?" sagot ni Jihoon tsaka nilakihan ang bukas ng kanyang pintuan. "Come in."
Dahan-dahang pumasok si Seungcheol dala-dala ang kanyang bag pagkatapos ay isinara ni Jihoon ang pinto. Seungcheol unintentionally roamed his eyes around and was mildly shocked at the sight.
It was nearly empty.
Walang kalaman-laman ang buong apartment ni Jihoon maliban sa mga pangunahing furniture sa paligid. Jihoon's apartment was of the same size as Jeonghan's, but very awfully pale compared to the long-haired male. That's his impression of the place until his eyes reached the walls of Jihoon's crib.
Kung sa dingding ng apartment ni Jeonghan nakahilera ang iba't-ibang mga wall decorations at picture frames, puro music sheets naman ang nakapaskil sa dingding.
Seungcheol's jaw dropped from the sight.
"Maupo ka. Titingnan ko lang ang first aid kit," sabi ni Jihoon tsaka dumako sa kabilang banda ng apartment.
Seungcheol took in the entire space first. It was of the same size as Jeonghan's yes. But it looked far spacious because of lack of decorations. Gaya rin ng apartment ni Jeonghan, walang pintong naghihiwalay sa silid-tulugan ni Jihoon kundi isang dingding sa gitna ng kwarto. The other half was where the kitchen was located, along with the little living room with a small couch against the wall and a small coffee table in the middle. Katapat ng couch ay ang maliit na balcony. It was cozy nonetheless, much to Seungcheol's shock. Maybe it was because of the strange but comforting combination of pink and beige as the apartment's paint and that faint sultry scent of someone's cologne in the air.
Jihoon's maybe.
Putspa, mura ni Cheol sa sarili nang bigla na lang siyang nakaramdam ng urge na sabihin ang salitang "cute". Why the hell would this place be cute to him anyways? It doesn't make sense.
Sa pagod lang 'to. Cheol tried to convince himself. Sa pagod lang 'to.
Jihoon re-emerged from the wall with an ointment in hand. Muntik nang mapatawa si Seungcheol dahil sa nakita. Tinotoo talaga ni Jihoon, damn.
When he's walking like that in that oversized pullover, he looks so goddamn innocent.
"Eto lang ang meron ako. I hope it's enough."
Seungcheol stared at Jihoon's extended hand with that ointment in his hand. "I don't need that."
"Akala ko ba kailangan mo 'to?" tanong ni Jihoon sa kanya. "Muscle pain? May masakit ba sa'yo? Kailangan mo ng masahe?"
Hindi. Kailangan ko ng lugar na matutulugan ngayong gabi. Seungcheol bit his tongue.
"U-Um, ano . . ." Seungcheol tried hard not to stutter again. "Uh . . ."
Jihoon raised his brows again, higher this time, as he waits for the older to complete his sentence.
Bigla na lang hinablot ni Seungcheol ang ointment mula sa kamay ni Jihoon tsaka dali-daling binuksan ito. "Ah! Ang sakit ng likod ko, ugh! Teka." He squirted a generous amount of ointment to his hand and massaged his nape for good measure. Sinubukan niyang magmukhang ginaganahan sa malamig at mainit na sensasyon ng ointment ng likod niya habang minamasahe ang sarili.
"Ahhh. Feels so good," sambit niya. Pero shit, ang lakas ng ointment na 'to ang dami ng nilagay ko naiiyak ako sa init!
Jihoon tapped his shoulder. "You can stay the night. You can just ask me directly, Cheol. No need to be shy."
Tumalikod na si Jihoon at dumako sa bedroom niya. But Seungcheol swore he just saw his lips quirk up a little—did he smile?!
"Tsk. Hindi ako nahihiya. Masakit lang talaga ang likod ko kaya gan'on ako magsalita kanina."
Nilingon siya ni Jihoon. "You really don't have to be shy. Pagbubuksan naman kita palagi e. I'm always willing help you any way I can."
Paulit-ulit na kumurap si Seungcheol, peste sobrang init talaga ng ointment bakit ang lakas nito?! "H-Hindi nga kasi ako nahihiya, ugh! Bakit ang init nito?! Ugh!"
"'Wag mong gamitin ang kamay mo sa pag—"
"AHH! ANG ANGHANG! ANG INIT! AHH!"
Seungcheol tried to blink again and again but to no vail. Hindi talaga mawala-wala ang anghang sa kanyang mga mata na mas lalong tumindi dahil sa ginawa niyang pagpahid ng kanyang kamay sa kanyang mga mata. He forgot he's still got the ointment in his hands, okay?! It's not his fault he's panicking—okay so maybe it's kinda his fault. But fudge to the heavens, hindi niya deserve ang pagdurusang 'to! Ang init naman kasi talaga!
Seungcheol was so busy struggling to get the fiery sensation out of his eyes, that he didn't notice two hands swiftly held him steady. Humawak sa kanya ang isang kamay para ihinto ang kanyang paggalaw at ang isa naman ay may hawak na panyong maingat na pinapahid sa kanyang mga mata.
Sa sobrang ingat, madaling nainip si Seungcheol. The fire was creeping so fast he needed to get rid of it fast so he took hold of the hand holding the handkerchief and wiped it all over his eyes in his pace. Sinimulan niya sa isa niyang mata tsaka sa isa pa. When he could finally open his eyes without the fiery stinging, he heaved a deep breathe.
Akala niya kasi baka tuluyan na siyang mabulag.
Nang ibuka niya ang kanyang mga mata, saka lang niya napansin na nakahawak pala siya sa kamay ni Jihoon na nakahawak sa panyo. Pati na sa isa pang kamay nito na nasa braso niya kanina.
And fudge, Seungcheol just had to look at Jihoon himself, who was looking at him straight into the eyes.
At this proximity, did Jihoon just became ten times cuter—
Jihoon all but leaned in closer, tiptoeing a bit to see more of Seungcheol's eyes.
"Cheol, namumula ang mga mata mo."
Seungcheol blinked, taking in how close Jihoon is now to him. And for a moment, his senses were all attacked and overwhelmed at the sudden rush of everything Lee Jihoon. The scent had invaded his nose, that sweet sultry scent, the entire scope of his vision invaded by 1080 P of Jihoon's rosy cheeks and the soft hands that he held—
Did he always have that pinkish nose and cheeks? Bakit hindi niya nakita noon—
"Sa tingin ko kailangan mong ihilamos 'yan. Para safe."
Seungcheol blinked again, his senses finally regaining. Binitawan niya ang mga kamay ni Jihoon tsaka mabilis na lumayo sa kanya. "Ayos lang ako."
"Cheol."
"Ano?"
"You're flaming red. Okay ka lang ba talaga?"
Umiwas ng tingin si Seungcheol tsaka tahimik na minura ang sarili. The stinging and the fire in his eyes were slowly being subsided, and this redness of his face, he knew it was caused by something else.
Something else he's not particularly eager not to Lee Jihoon and especially not to himself.
"Wala 'to," sabi niya tsaka tumalikod. "Pagamit ng CR."
"Sure," Jihoon replied, voice suddenly soft. "You're staying here tonight right? Hindi ka muna aalis 'di ba?"
Tsk. As if naman, may choice pa ako. Seungcheol grumbled in his head before replying.
"Oo. Magbunyi ka na, makikitulog ang crush mo rito sa apartment mo."
Dahil nakatalikod si Seungcheol at abala sa pagkuha sa kanyang mga toiletries, hindi niya napansin ang maliit na ngiti sa mga labi ni Jihoon.
Because he just smiled. He really did. Even if it was just the faintest.
When Seungcheol turned to him, wala na ang ngiting 'to at bumalik na naman siya sa kanyang usual-emotionless face.
"You can sleep with me on my bed?"
"No thanks. Sa couch ako."
Umiling si Jihoon sa sinabi niya at tumango. "I'm still glad you're here. My crush is here in my unit."
Tumango si Seungcheol, dala-dala ang kanyang bag. "Tama. Kaya magpakabait ka at d'yan ka lang. Gagamitin ng crush mo ang CR. 'Wag mamuso."