Lydia Martin has always been beautiful. Since we were kids, the boys have always gravitated towards her. Hell, even some girls have crushed on her. She's beautiful, she's smart, she's popular. Why wouldn't they? There's just something about her and Stiles Stilinski has been her biggest fan since the days of running around on the playground. How do you even begin to compete with that?
When Stiles and Lydia started dating, numerous hearts were broken, including mine. Seeing them together was gut wrenching. The way she would look at him and him her, the way she would run her fingers through his messy brown hair, how she would kiss him like there was no one else in the world but the two of them. Wherever Lydia was, Stiles would be by her side or never too far for too long.
I couldn't help but watch them when they were together. I tried not to be obvious, but apparently I failed miserably when Scott confronted me about it one day.
We were in the library, Lydia and Stiles sitting across from me and Scott to my left. They were whispering about something, I couldn't make out the conversation. Stiles was playing with a strand of her beautiful, long hair as he smiled at her. I tried to concentrate on the book in front of me, but every time Lydia would quietly laugh I found myself glancing up at them. And when they got up to leave, together, it made my heart clench.
"What's wrong with you?" Scott nudged my elbow.
"What? What do you mean?" I turned in my chair to face him.
"You think I haven't noticed? The way you are when Lydia and Stiles are around?" His eyebrows raised as he gave me a look.
"Noticed what?" I tried to keep a poker face the best I could.
"You have a thing for Lydia don't you?"
"What? No way, you're crazy."
"You do. I've seen the way you look at her. The way you look at Stiles."
"Oh yeah? How do I look at them?"
"You look at Lydia like...you're amazed by her. Then you look at Stiles like...like you're trying to light him on fire with your mind," he laughed quietly.
"I think you need to work on your observation skills, McCall. I do not look at Lydia like I'm amazed by her," I waved my hands dramatically as I said amazed.
"So, you would like to set Stiles on fire with your mind?"
"Oh good lord, Scott. You're reading too much into this. I do not have a thing for Lydia," I slammed my book closed and gathered my stuff, leaving in a huff.
"I don't believe you!" Scott whisper-yelled after me as I exited the library.
I was losing my composure. Why? Because I was jealous. I was so jealous, it was starting to become noticeable to other people. I couldn't let it become so obvious. It would ruin friendships. I wasn't willing to let my fantasies destroy my friendships. So I pushed it all down, so far down that I began to distance myself from everyone.
For months I was only available when the important shit went down, when my presence was absolutely necessary to help the pack. Every other form of communication was done through text messages. I missed my friends, but the pain of seeing Lydia with Stiles was worse. I didn't want to deal with it. I'm not really one for confrontation, I'd rather just bury my feelings and slowly let them fester. So that's exactly what I did.
Now here I sit, all alone, as I skim through a book about supernatural creatures. My phone buzzes with a text and I unlock it. It's from Stiles.
Stilinski
Today 3:45PM
S: Hey! Where are you? I thought you were going to meet us in the library?
I roll my eyes and type out my reply.
Me: sorry I had a headache so I came home. What do you need? I can do stuff from here.
I wait as the three little dots on my screen come and go.
S: You're always doing stuff at home. I feel like we haven't seen you in months.
"Because you haven't, genius!" I yell at my phone.
Me: Sorry?
The dots are there, taunting me. I wait. And wait. Then they disappear and I just snap, tossing my phone on the floor as I pull my pillow over my face and scream as loud as I can into it. As I'm kicking my feet against my bed I hear someone clearing their throat and I freeze. Someone has just seen me throwing a tantrum like a five year old. I suddenly feel like suffocating myself with this pillow.
"Who's that?" My voice muffled from the pillow.
"Hey, uh it's, it's me. Stiles?"
Sweet Christ you've got to be kidding me.
"Everything okay? You seem to be having a fit of some kind."
"I'm fine! Go away, please!"
"Yeah...no, I'm not leaving."
"Stiles, go the fuck away. I don't wanna talk to you."
"See, that's exactly why I'm not leaving."
"Stiles seriously. Go away. I'm not in the mood for your shit."
The pillow is suddenly ripped from my face and I'm greeted by those golden brown eyes hovering just a foot from my face.
"What. The. Fuck."
"I don't care if you're in the mood or not. Something's going on with you. No, something has been going on with you for months and I wanna know what it is. You've been playing hermit and locking yourself away in this damn house. We only see you when you deem it absolutely necessary to show up in person. Otherwise it's like talking to a robot over damn text messages. What the hell is going on, Bean?"
The affectionate nickname pulls at my heart strings as I look into those worried brown eyes.
"I'm just going through some shit. I didn't want to bring everyone else down with my bad moods," I sit up and cross my legs under me.
Stiles has his thinking face on, clearly trying to find the right words to use.
"Is it because of me and Lydia?" He outright asks and I flinch, completely surprised that he would just come out and ask.
"What? What do you mean?" I try to feign confusion but he gives me that look.
"I know."
"You know what?"
"I know that you like Lydia."
"What?!"
"You don't have to be embarrassed. I am totally open to all things. Danny's gay and we're completely cool. I just don't understand why you feel it necessary to hide from us, like we wouldn't understa-"
"Stiles! I like guys! I don't have a thing for Lydia! Damn it, did Scott tell you all this?"
"I-Uh...No?"
I glare at him, this time I actually want to light him on fire with my mind.
"Okay, yes! Scott told me, but only after I pried it out of him. He said he didn't think you'd want people to know. Wait...so you don't have a thing for Lydia?"
"NO!"
"Alright! You don't have to scream at me! So what the hell is going on with you then?"
"I--look, it's not important. I just need some time to get over this...whatever this is. You should probably go, I'm sure Lydia is waiting for you or something."
"Um...no. You didn't hear?"
"Hear what?"
"Lydia and I aren't together anymore. We broke up like...two weeks ago? We realized we'd be better as friends. Not really enough sexual chemistry there..."
Did I just hear that right? Did he really just say those words? I must be dreaming.
"You and Lydia broke up? How? What? Are you kidding me? You've been in love with her for-"
"I know, but at some point I think that love shifted to more of a friendship kind of love, it just took me a while to realize it. But she feels the same way, so it was probably the most amicable breakup in history," he cocks his head to the side, brow furrowing as he thinks.
"You're such an idiot."
"What? Why?"
"Because it's Lydia!"
"Yes...and?"
"I don't understand you."
"And I don't understand why you're acting this way. So, what? You're pissed at me because we're not dating anymore?"
Something inside me snaps. After months of pushing down my feelings, they're about to explode out of me in a volcanic sized eruption.
"I'm not pissed! I'm frustrated! I spent months watching you guys together and...shut it! I know how creepy that sounds! But I couldn't help it," I bow my head and start to tear at my cuticles, a nervous habit I have. "It made me wonder how it would feel to be her. How you would look at her. How you would kiss her. The way you would play with her hair."
"You were jealous?"
"Yes, I was jealous. And I felt like shit for it, which is why I became a hermit," I look up to see the corner of his mouth twitching.
"You were jealous," he smirks and I narrow my eyes at him.
"We established that. Care to move on now?"
"No, I'm pretty sure I want to say that a few more times. You were jealous."
"Stiles, if you say jealous one more time, I'm gonna smack the shit out of you."
"Got it."
"So now you know. It feels kinda good to get that off my chest," I laugh and Stiles' eyes are drawn to my chest. "Stiles!"
"What?! You said chest and I was just trying to see-"
"Shut up."
"No. So how long have you had-" he points from me to him.
"A while now," I bow my head again and feel my cheeks heat.
"Wait...have you ever been with anyone?"
"Of course I have...technically."
"What do you mean technically?"
"I mean that I've been with guys before, but it's never been more than that."
"You've never been in a relationship?"
"Nope. No one ever seemed good enough."
"Because of me?"
"God, you know for someone who's a genius, you really are obtuse someti-" he cuts me off as his hand slips behind my neck and he pulls me into a firm kiss. A surprised moan sounds in my throat as I'm frozen against his lips. He pulls back, looking into my eyes, trying to gauge my reaction.
"Sorry, did you not want me to do that?" His eyes move to my mouth as I wet my lips, tasting the remnants of some sort of minty flavor.
"No...yes...I don't..." I grab his face and pull him back to me and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
I move my lips against his and he slips his tongue in my mouth. He softly moans as he grips my hips and moves me so I'm straddling him, hands slipping under my tank top, exploring the bare skin on my back and my sides. Goosebumps cover my skin as those large hands delicately trail up my spine, under the strap of my bra. His fingers follow the band around, grazing just underneath my breasts and then down my torso.
"Holy shit, what is happening?" I breathe as Stiles kisses across my jaw and down my neck.
"Do you want me to stop?" He nips at the base of my throat and I rock my hips against him.
"God no," I moan and he smiles against my skin.
"Good. I missed you, Bean," his tongue traces the line of my clavicle and I tilt my head back to give him better access.
"I've thought about this so many times," I scratch my nails lightly against his scalp and he breathes in deeply through his nose.
"Oh yeah?" His thumbs swipe over the soft lace of my bra as his long fingers wrap around my sides. "What exactly have you thought about?"
"Your hands...oh god...your hands," I mewl as they softly move to palm my tits, caressing up and down.
"What about my hands?" He chuckles.
"All over me, your fingertips digging into my skin. Your fingers, oh...your fingers on my clit, teasing me."
"Sh-shit...keep talking like that," he presses his lips to mine before quickly lifting my shirt over my head, my black lace bra drawing his attention.
"Definitely your lips...kissing over my entire body," I slowly start to move my hips against him, his khakis giving the most delicious friction. "And your tongue. God, I'm so curious as to what you can do with that sarcastic mouth, Stilinski."
"My mouth is my greatest weapon," he smiles and his tongue traces the valley of my breasts.
"See, I knew you would say some shit like that," I laugh and he looks up at me.
"Mmhm...so you've thought about my hands and my mouth, very pornographically from what I gather," he winks.
"Stiles, I have thought about every part of you pornographically."
"You sure know how to make a guy feel good about himself," he smiles as he wraps an arm around my waist and flips us on the bed, his body fitting perfectly between my legs.
"I can make you feel so good, Stiles," I capture his mouth once more and his hands start to roam my body; down my sides, fingertips digging into my hip, the back of my thigh. He hitches my leg over his hip so he can continue his descent down my leg, all the way to my foot and slowly back up.
A tingling heat spreads through me as those magic hands reach under me to unclasp my bra and he slides the straps down my shoulders, leaving me bare from the waist up. Stiles kneels between my legs as he rids me of my bra and pulls his shirt over his head. His eyes darken as he looks down at me, a small smirk on his lips. He dips down, the muscles in his arms prominent as he holds himself up and starts at my neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses down to my chest. His tongue swirls around my nipple as his hand softly kneads my other breast and I arch my back into his touch, my breaths quickening.
"Oh god, Stiles," I whine as he softly bites my hardened peak.
"You know, I've always loved the way you say my name," he moves to the other side to show the same attention.
This makes me wonder...
"But did you ever imagine me saying it like this?"
"Yes," Stiles says simply, without hesitation, like I just asked if he wanted to eat pizza.
"Seriously?"
"Mmhm," he hums lowly against my ribs as he moves down my body. "Especially this," he looks up at me and smirks as his finger hooks into my shorts and panties, tugging them down a little and he drags his tongue along my sensitive skin.
"Holy shit," I breathe.
Stiles sits up, taking my panties and shorts off in one quick move, winking at me as he dips down and trails hot kisses up my inner thigh. I can't keep still, squirming because the moment I've fantasized about for so long is about to actually happen. My stomach knots as he gets closer and closer to my throbbing core, the anticipation of his mouth on me sending my nerves into a frenzy.
"So many times about this," he rasps and licks a long strip through my folds to my clit and my hips buck up from the sensation. His forearm drapes across my hips, holding me down as he repeats the motion again and again.
"Oh...fuuuck!" I squeal as his tongue flicks over my clit repeatedly.
Stiles teases me, his middle finger circling around my entrance while his tongue continues, slowly and precisely. The ache in my core threatens to rip me apart as he leisurely slides those long digits inside of me, reaching in as far as he can only to pull almost right back out. This is even better than I could ever have imagined it. Stiles has reduced me to a whining, begging mess with just his mouth and his hand.
He continues pumping, sending me climbing higher and higher, hooking his fingers just right and I have to cover my mouth to keep from screaming. He latches onto my clit, alternating between sucking slowly and nibbling on my sensitive nub and strokes against that sweet spot once more. The pleasurable heat washes over me and I can't contain the scream that erupts from my throat, calling out his name like a curse and a prayer at the same time. My back arches off the mattress as he carries me through my release, my body writhing beneath his touch.
I fall back flat to the bed, my chest heaving as I try to catch my breath and I hear his pants drop to the floor, his keys jingling in his pocket. Hot open-mouthed kisses trail up my body as he crawls back on top of me, his cock hard against my stomach when he presses his lips against mine. Our tongues tangle and I can taste myself on his lips. I reach down between us, my hand enveloping his length as I slide up and down and he shudders.
I swipe his head through my wetness, teasing my overly-sensitive clit and he moans into my mouth, taking my bottom lip between his teeth.
"Are you sure about this?" I ask as I search his eyes for any kind of uncertainty.
"Absolutely," he groans as he sinks into me, harder than I expected him to and a strangled moan sounds in my throat. He buries himself deep, a mischievous smirk on his face as he watches me.
"Holy fuck, Stiles," I whine, wrapping my arms around his lower back and tangling my legs with his.
"Oh god, Bean...you feel amazing," Stiles moans as he starts to roll his hips against me and a wave of delicious heat washes over me.
I never would have thought this was going to happen. Stiles and I have been friends for...like...ever. I never thought he felt more for me. Maybe he just didn't realize it until he dealt with the his feelings for Lydia?
As our bodies move together, losing ourselves in each other, I realize this is so much more than a crush. Stiles is all I've ever wanted, no one can measure up. I also realize I'm in big trouble.
"Right there, Stiles," my fingertips dig into his sides, urging him on.
Stiles hooks his arm under my leg, his thrusts hitting at a completely new angle and he hits that spot. My mouth is open, yet no sound escapes me as he continues to snap his hips faster. That familiar feeling starts to creep up, deep in the pit of my stomach. Stiles' mouth brushes against mine, our panting breaths mingling as his thrusts start to become uneven.
"Fuck...come on, Bean," he growls, his forehead resting against mine as he drives into me relentlessly.
My body gives in, the fiery inferno raging through me and my walls tighten around him, drawing a deep, guttural moan from deep in his chest. His hips stutter as he finds his release, my name falling from his lips as his face contorts in pleasure; eyes screwed tightly shut, nostrils flared, lips parted. He looks beautiful. I lightly drag my nails down his back and he groans again, those brown eyes opening to find the smile on my face and he smiles in return.
"Wow," Stiles breathes and nudges his nose against mine before placing a soft kiss to my lips.
"Wow, indeed," my hand moves to his cheek and he leans into it closing his eyes briefly before he turns his head and kisses my palm.
Stiles rolls over to lay on his side next to me, his hand resting lightly on my stomach. Now comes that awkward moment where neither of us knows what to say. It's the worst.
"So, I still haven't gotten to see the new X-Men movie. You wanna go with me on Friday?" He says casually, like he didn't just give me the best orgasm I've ever had in my life.
"You haven't? Damn I went the day it came out," I snicker.
"Seriously. Who did you go with?"
"Nobody...myself."
"What the hell? Why didn't you say something? You know I've been dying to see it!"
"Uh...because you were a little preoccupied?" I give him a look. I really don't want to say her name while we're laying here, naked together.
"I am never too busy to go see an X-Men movie!"
"Sorry! It was fucking awesome though," I tried to contain my laugh but fail miserably.
"Don't you dare say anything to spoil it!"
"Dude...Jean does this thing-" he shoves a pillow over my face before I can say another word, muffling my laughter.
"I will smother you, I swear to god!"
I push the pillow away from my face to see him smiling and those brown eyes sparkling with humor.
"No you won't. Who would you go see nerdy movies with if you did?"
"Got me there...you're my go to girl for all nerdy movies, Bean," his smile widens and it makes my heart skip a beat to know he thinks of me that way, that we have this one thing none of our friends can understand.
"You can always count on me, Stilinski." I slip my hand behind his neck, pulling him down into a sweet kiss, which quickly turns more heated than I intended. "Mmm," I mumble against his lips. "I wanna watch Avengers."
"Again? Jeez how many times have you seen that movie?"
"Probably pushing near three hundred. There will never be a time that I don't want to watch that movie."
"You have a problem."
"I do not."
"You do. You're obsessed, I think you need an intervention."
"Okay how about this. We watch Avengers...after round two?"
"I like this plan. I like it a lot," he wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me on top of him and I can't help but giggle. "I'm taking my time with you. We may not get to watch the movie for at least two more hours."
"Mmm...I like the way you think," I smile against his lips as he tangles his hand in my hair and kisses me like I've always dreamed of him kissing me