"How am I going to know which of my dresses is the prettiest?"
Frank frowned, "The one you like best?"
Karen sighed, standing in front of her mirror on the outside of her closet. She looked at Frank through it without turning to face him. "But the one I like best, will not be the one you like best, so how will it be the prettiest? How will we decide?" She then turned, her eyes widening as she looked at the floor. "When did this become democratic?"
Frank eventually laughed as she held dresses in her hands with a frown on her face. He lay back on her bed, having kicked his boots off at the end, leaving them at the foot of the bed. "You know that whatever you wear, you're gonna look amazing"
"That is really not the case" She replied, a little flustered and embarrassed. Frank smiled gleefully, watching her cheeks heat up as she smiled at him sheepishly. He had always hated any sort of shopping or picking outfits but this was like something entirely different.
"Quiet" Frank snapped, leaning forward on the bed. He pulled his legs toward his chest, his knees fitting nicely in the crooks of his arms as he joined his hands together. He shrugged as she looked at him, still holding her dresses up. "I don't care what you wear as long as you are with me"
Karen frowned, dropping her arms and letting her dresses droop at her sides. They creased, the bottoms piling up by her feet. She then placed them on the edges of the bed, sitting by them with her arms folded. "So you wouldn't care if I were naked as long as I'm with you? Sounds a bit far fetched if you ask me"
He rolled his eyes, beginning to move forward on the bed toward her but she stood again and began sorting through her closet for something else. He leaned back on his hands, a small pain sprouting at the bottom of his back due to the position. "You know what I meant. Now hurry up and change otherwise the only thing changing will be my mind on whether we even go out or not"
"Okay, fine. I'll pick something and I'll be out in a minute, go" She said turning toward him and pulling on his arm. He pulled away as she turned back toward the closets. Frank shuffled off the edge of the bed. Luckily her back was turned cause he grimaced in pain, sighing a little as he kissed her shoulder before heading out the room.
Almost on cue, his phone began to ring. Pulling it from his pocket, he frowned at the caller ID before raising his phone to his ear. "Dr Rafferty"
Frank looked over his shoulder at Karen's bedroom door before heading across the apartment quietly. He lingered by the door as he figured it to be the further place from her earshot. Rafferty spoke quickly. "Hi, Frank"
"Let me guess, you have some important news," Frank joked, leaning his elbow on his arm as he crossed it over his chest. He began pacing the apartment quietly, feeling his hand beginning to grow sweaty. "You forgot to tell me that is indeed life-threatening?"
He could hear Rafferty laugh over the phone, "No, Frank, I-"
"I've got six months to live?" Frank continued, looking over his shoulder toward the bedroom door. There were no signs of movement and he couldn't hear Karen moving either which most likely signalled she was still changing.
"I should hope not" Dr Rafferty answered, laughing a little more. Frank tried to smile but realised it was irrelevant as he was alone. "I was just calling to see how you were doing with everything. Are your new pills working okay? Any problems?"
Frank had been taking them every day, maybe a little more often than he should be but they kept the pain away for work which was what he needed. He was being cautious with them, making sure he wasn't going to fall back into his old routine. "Yeah, they're great"
"And how's work? You don't need a note, do you? Because I can provide one-"
"No, Dr I can assure you I won't be taking any leave from work any time soon other than for Thanksgiving. No medical reasons" Frank answered, keeping his eyes on the door to Karen's room in case she suddenly emerged. He was beginning to think of an excuse for who he was talking to.
"Nice plans for Thanksgiving?" Rafferty asked, showing a sudden interest in Frank's life. He frowned, nobody has done that much in the past other than Scott leading Frank to tell him to keep his nose out.
Gabriela, she is asking whether Frank will babysit so she and Mike can go out on Saturday.
"I'm travelling to Oregon with my girlfriend for her brother's wedding" Frank answered, shoving a hand in his pocket as he turned back toward the front door. He felt himself subconsciously shuffling around on the spot with anxiety. "Should be fun using a GPS for the whole trip"
Easy. Back up; his boss is calling saying she wants to discuss overtime. Paychecks and whatever over time can be done between the squad during Thanksgiving. Frank would cancel, getting the week off to spend in Oregon.
"Those things are a nightmare" Dr Rafferty laughed, "I can never get them working. Always end up phoning my daughter on the middle of the freeway asking her for help and I always end up on the side of the road looking like my car has broken down"
Frank wanted to laugh with him, share his mutual joy but something was stopping him. Maybe it was the fact they were on the phone and not face to face? Who knows. His mind worked in odd ways and sometimes it confused him just as much as it probably confused others.
"So, Frank can I see you for a check-up when you're back from Oregon?" Rafferty asked.
"Sounds good to me" He answered, listening to Karen's footsteps walk across her room. His heart sped up quickly, swallowing hard in case she exited the room quicker than he could end the call. He exhaled slowly, trying to calm himself in case Rafferty sensed something was wrong. He didn't know how people could do that.
"Your Mother checked herself in for an appointment, Frank," He said, causing Frank to stop listening to Karen pace across the apartment. His eyes were focusing on the floor, the lines of the floorboards disappearing as his vision blurred. Everything in his body ran cold and he felt a little dizzy all of a sudden.
"Is she okay?" He asked, forcing himself to focus back in. He took hold of the wall next to him to steady himself, the sweat on his hands increasing. He scratched the back of his neck and sighed, trying to calm himself again. "There's nothing wrong, is there?"
"Just a good old case of weak muscles and joints, Frank. She's old, Suri, but she's tough. I'll keep you updated" He replied, "Doesn't seem like it could lead to anything serious but if it does, we've diagnosed it early and should be able to treat it"
Frank found himself nodding, even when Dr Rafferty couldn't see him. His heart rate lowered, having completely forgotten about Karen possibly hearing the conversation. Frank began to walk to the kitchen and he pulled an empty glass, filling it with water. "Thank you"
The call ended quickly and straight away Karen emerged from her room. Frank shoved his phone in his pocket and turned his attention to her instantly. She had picked the dress that Frank liked best, even when she admitted it wasn't her favourite. "How do I look?"
Frank smiled. "Like an angel"
--
"I didn't think you were serious about this, Frank"
"What?" Frank asked, pulling his keys out of the ignition and enclosing them in his hand. He turned toward Karen in the seat. She was looking ahead of him, out the window and toward the building he had pulled up outside. Frank followed her eyes before shrugging at her. "I like champagne"
"We could have gone anywhere else" Karen replied, messing with her hands in her lap. Frank looked toward her, frowning a little. His heart sunk as she looked sad. It was a complete mess with how lovely she looked and how down she probably felt.
"I want to go here," Frank answered, placing his hand on her shoulder to pull her attention away from the floor. He kept his eyes on her and she probably knew as she never looked up. "Considering now I know my shitty little brother owns the place, I wanna see if he'll give me a family discount"
Karen sighed, leaning forward a little with her head in her hands. "I can't, if that's all you're here for then please take me home. I don't want to sit at the bar awkwardly drinking whilst you try and antagonise Marco for the entire evening"
Frank frowned more, sitting up in his chair. His head spun a little and he stuttered trying to get the right words out in the right order. "No, Karen, it was a joke. I want to have an evening out with you. I want to spend time with you, Marco doesn't matter. He never did"
"Why?" She asked.
"Why what?" He asked back.
"Why doesn't he matter? Why do you hate him so much?" Karen asked, folding her arms as she leaned on her arm to face him. "Cause family is so important, Frank. You never know how long you have left with them so fighting over decade long feuds is ridiculous"
For some reason this made Frank think back to Dr Rafferty calling earlier. His Mother checking into the clinic. Was she sick? Did Gabby know and not tell him? Was he being ridiculous? He had to be being ridiculous. He took a deep breath as Karen spoke again.
"And don't you dare say, "another time". Cause you prolong so many things I feel like I'll never get them out of you" Karen replied, a frown sticking permanently on her face. Frank knew he looked guilty and he cleared his throat.
He shook his head, his hands becoming sweaty and his throat closing tightly. He swallowed forcefully. Karen's face grew worried and he almost caved into telling her as she didn't look angry anymore. "If I tell you, it will ruin the entire evening. Trust me, Karen. I'll tell you later, I promise"
She just stared at him before sighing. "I'm sorry"
"Don't be"
"No, Frank, I am. I will be. Cause I obviously made you uncomfortable and I know I hate that and you probably do, too" Karen said, leaning forward and taking hold of his hand. Hers were warm and her thumbs caressed over his knuckles.
He just shook his head, tightening the grip on their hands. He placed his other hand on top of hers, looking up toward her. "It's okay. Please. It's okay. I just need to go and get really drunk and forget about some things for the moment"
Karen nodded, running her hand through her hair. "Yes. Let's"
--
Frank didn't know what he had expected the inside of Shay's to be like but he knew he had to pay a lot of money to get in. He didn't care.
The bar was super long, black and chic with minuscule lights along the top with so many different shelves behind with different coloured bottles aligned neatly across from the customers. There was a dance floor and so many strobe lights it hurt Frank's eyes whenever he looked over there, but Karen lead him over toward the far end of the bar. As they sat, he saw a door leading behind the bar. Probably where Marco is located.
"Which way do you come in if you don't use the main entrance?" Frank asked, looking around frantically trying to take everything in. Karen was walking ahead as she knew exactly where everything was. It was usually Frank that knew the whereabouts but he was completely lost.
"There's one on the side of the building that I use. I didn't start coming through the main entrance until Marco offered me a waitressing course" Karen answered. "I sort of miss the others who work in stock cause we all used to talk shit about everyone coming in, but, it feels great being a part of all this"
She led him to two chairs in the corner of the bar where they both sat. Once he got himself comfortable he smiled, placing his hand on top of hers. She squeezed it tightly, smiling back toward him. He then began peering at the menu of drinks. "Is there anything under 10 dollars here?"
Karen shook her head. "Go big or go home"
"That definitely sounds like Marco" Frank muttered, scanning the menu before scanning the prices. His eyes widened and he placed it back on the bar in front of them before scratching the back of his neck and looking toward her. "Looks like he doesn't mess around"
"I don't mess around. Show business or no business am I right?"
Frank spotted Marco who had appeared at the bar in front of them. He wore black attire and had a white cloth over his shoulder. Frank sighed, looking back to the menu quickly. He looked and Karen's eyes were elsewhere. "Hi, Marco"
"When I saw "Castle" on the list I couldn't help but come up and visit. How are you, Frank?" Marco asked, leaning on the bar. Frank analysed what he was wearing and the badge with his name on with the word "manager" underneath.
"Good, thanks" Frank replied, re-positioning his posture and sitting further up as Marco seemed to tower over him. Karen still hadn't spoken and he kind of wished she would to drag him from the awkward conversation. "Thanks for giving Karen the waitressing course"
Marco frowned, leaning forward on the bar causing Frank to lean back at the lack of personal space he had. It was Marco's favourite thing to do. "Don't thank me, it was the least I could do for her. I think you'll be a great addition to the team" He said, looking toward Karen who just smiled toward him, not saying anything before she started looking at the menu.
"What can I get you then?" Marco asked, pulling a tiny notepad from the apron he wore. It sat in the pocket at the front and Frank shook his head. "Half price. But don't tell the manager"
Frank rolled his eyes at Marco's stupid attempt at a joke. Karen was still silent and Frank was growing impatient as Marco specifically took his time with just about everything. "You can cut the customer service act, Marco. It's just me"
Marco laughed, "What makes you think I'm acting?"
"Everything" Frank answered, folding his arms with a stupid smirk on his face. It matched Marco's and it made him look a little uncomfortable. Frank gave up and sighed. "Just drop it and get me the biggest bottle you have"
"Quite pricey" Marco replied, running it up on the machine in front of him. He smiled at Karen before he winked at Frank. He groaned a little in response as Marco leaned in toward him. "I love it"
"You did make it that way" Frank answered, shuffling a little in his seat. Karen just continued to look on the menu even though she probably knew what she wanted and Frank felt bad that she felt that awkward. "Don't complain otherwise I won't buy it"
"I'm not complaining" Marco replied, holding his hands up in surrender. He then laughed, putting the notepad back in the pocket of his apron. Frank looked back toward the menu once again to avoid further conversation. "I'll just be two seconds"
As he walked away, Frank sighed turning toward Karen. He rolled his eyes before looking back over his shoulder to see where Marco had disappeared to in case he heard what Frank was saying. "Never in my life have I seen him act like that"
Karen just shook her head, laughing a little. She looked awkward and Frank frowned as his head began to ache. He felt bad for her, felt bad that she had to work with someone so annoyingly patronising. "I've never seen any different other than at Mike's party"
Frank nodded, "That's the real Marco. Not this fake shit prick who supposedly runs Shay's"
"Frank, you said you'd drop it" Karen answered, almost agitated.
"Sorry" He replied, drumming his fingers against the smooth surface of the bar. "I will"
She just placed her hand on top of his, causing the drumming to come to a halt just as Marco returned with two glasses and a bottle. The bottle was bigger than any bottle he had ever drunk from and he could hear it metaphorically smashing against his bank account.
"Please," Marco said, "Feel free to drink as much as you like. Preferably another bottle as well as this one. I hope you enjoy your evening"
"Thank you," Karen said, taking it from him as Frank has seemed to have zoned out. He was staring at the bar and she frowned, looking toward Marco briefly before back at the glasses in front of her. She poured into them and handed one to Frank. He zoned back in, looking toward her with a brief but forced smile on his face. She frowned.
"Cheers to us," she said, clinking her glass with his own.
"And to Scott for hopefully winning custody of Jesse" Frank replied, sipping from his glass with a rather large gulp. Karen sipped also, not as much as Frank did and she laughed at him as he placed the glass back on the bar.
Karen nodded, "Couldn't agree more. It really sucks what he's going through"
Frank shrugged, "Happens to a lot of people"
"I'm guessing that includes you?" Karen asked, cocking a brow. Frank avoided her eyes as he focused on the pattern of the bar. It was black with white specks. "Go on then, who was she? Who broke your heart so much that you didn't date again until now?"
∞
He remembered the sign above his bed and the identical one placed at the foot of the bed to signify it was his room; his place to waste away: FRANCIS CASTIGLIONE, FRACTURED SPINAL CHORD AND HAEMORRHAGE OF THE BACK. ADMITTED 5/18/01.
He remembered Gabriela approaching him in the dingy hospital room. It smelt of antiseptic, having worn a gown for a whole week that probably smelt of piss by then. He ached too much to even breathe properly and he thought it would kill him. He remembered not wanting to die at just 18 years old.
"Who is Toby Page and why is he calling your phone?" She asked, sitting in the chair next to his bed. His eyes were barely open but she was wearing a bright red sweater at the time. He could see her holding his phone in her hand and he wanted to snatch it from her instantly. Tiny almost 17 year old Gabriela Castiglione.
"He called?" He croaked, attempting to sit up in the bed. The pain was too much, sending him spiralling into groans and gripping onto the bedsheets. Gabriela stood from the chair to stop him, but he had given up before she could do anything. He watched her sink back in the chair slowly, placing her hands on the arms of the chair. They looked hard and uncomfortable.
"He told me Karen sends her deepest sympathies and will call you as soon as she can. She settled nicely at Princeton" Gabriela replied, a little sharpish. He sighed, wanting to succumb to the pills and fall into a deep sleep. Karen would call him in a few days - it gave him something to look forward to. Something to work toward as now his career was down the drain and he had no idea whether he would walk again.
"Why is Karen Page going to call you?" She snapped, leaning forward and placing his phone on the bedside table. He could twist his neck around far enough to eye it, to see what messages may be on there. He was completely shut off from the outside world and it was agonisingly isolating. "What does she care about your accident? You don't even know her"
He managed a small scoff, his eyes resting nicely as he closed them. They ached, and the harshness of Gabriela's sweater against the solid whiteness of the room only made it worse. She had no bedside manner whatsoever but he also didn't have the heart to tell her to go away. He'd only somehow get the blame for it, even though he was laying in hospital, broken. "You'd like that wouldn't you?"
"Don't be stupid" Gabriela replied, "Did you know her?"
"We were dating, Gabby" He snapped. "Happy now?"
Gabriela sat up in her chair, staring at him with a frown on her face. He avoided her eyes, whatever she was about to say next was bound to be judgemental and annoying. "No way. You wouldn't. You and Karen Page? That's ridiculous. She was the photographer for the school paper, how do you even know her?"
"Does it matter?" He answered, turning his head slowly to look at her. His eyes were narrowed but he was just tired. The drugs were circulating his system pretty fast, sending him into all sorts of mood swings she wasn't aware of and therefore was on the receiving end of them. "Does it make me look stupid or something? Just cause she was the school photographer?"
"It just seems like an odd combination" Gabriela replied, folding her arms as she slumped down into her chair. She sighed, seeming bored already and Frank was able to relax for a little bit. "Is all"
"I don't judge you and fucking Mike Carrillo" He snapped, grimacing a little as the pain in his body flared up again. "Do I?"
"I am not dating Mike Carrillo" Gabriela snapped back. She glared at him, folding her arms somehow even further. He sighed loudly, wanting to rub his head but his arms being too weak to move. Gabriela leaned forward once again, "When did you start dating Karen?"
"Almost nine months ago" He answered numbly. He almost didn't want to talk about it - he didn't even know why he told her in the first place. It was something he was so used to keeping private, something people didn't even know about and didn't ask about. It was like their own little bubble, something for them to escape to from the world. How was the bubble supposed to stretch all the way to Princeton?
"You kept that under the wraps for a long time" Gabriela complained, frowning at him. He shook his head, his eyes rolling open and closed as he began to succumb to the drugs. Her voice became distant and she had to shake his arm to perk him back up. He forced his eyes open again.
"She's special" He trailed off, staring ahead of himself toward the white walls opposite him. He could feel her eyes on him and so he shook his head. Everything began blurring into one and he could hardly hear her voice anymore. He frowned, "Gabby," he said, reaching outward a little toward her as he could feel her slipping away. "She's special. I don't want to share her with the world. I want her for me. Just for a little longer"
"Do you, you know-" Gabriela paused for a minute. "Do you love her?"
He was silent. He frowned, tears forming in his eyes for some odd reason. He never cried. He was so high on pills he didn't know what was going on with his mood swings. He sniffed, not wanting to move to wipe his cheeks. Gabriela leaned across and did it for him, stroking his face in the process. "Yeah. I do"
∞
"Frank?"
He shook his head, looking back toward Karen. She frowned and he forced a smile. His normal routine kicked in and he swallowed tightly. "No-one. No-one at all"