Olivia’s POV
It has been weeks since my dream and Alex has been on a very high alert. I remember reading a few articles about vampires raiding human towns and killing them when I ran away. This seemed to have become a big deal to Alex –which just adds to his pile of growing worries each day.
Most days he was never at home. At first it was a bit frightening to be home alone. Since a threat was made against the royal family, Cathy and Sebastian as well as Robert and Rosie were told to remain inconspicuous and not to create a routine, but neither could come into the mansion. So I had to basically live alone –with Eli and the other human servants. It wasn’t so bad, if you could ignore the fact that only Aggie and Eli would speak to me. Although, Aggie barely would speak to me since she was afraid. God alone knew of what.
After supper, I would sit by the fire and drink a cup of hot chocolate, it didn’t matter how warm it was. If I was done, I would go up to my room and read or else I would for hours and hours with Eli in the living room and talk. Sometimes if Vasya and Antoine weren’t too busy doing business for Alex, either one of them would sit and talk to me. Yet, most days I would be alone.
One night after supper, it started storming, which I found very weird. It was moving into autumn and it wasn’t due to rain yet. However, it was all out storming. The servants ran around the mansion trying to close all the windows and doors and anything that could break. I sat on the sofa, curled into it as I sipped my creamy hot chocolate. I was not unaware of what was happening, but I was unconcerned for some reason.
I stared at the fire and I could feel my disinterest in what was going on around me. I was feeling miserable and sad. I was wallowing in a deep pit of self-pity. Ridiculous thoughts floated through my head about me being unloved and uncared for.
If Alex even cared about me, he would have been here. Instead he is going out with some girl and trying to make himself fall in love with her.
Why am I here? I’m all alone and it is storming.
I growled as I burnt my tongue taking another sip of the hot chocolate. Alex was rightfully looking for his queen and that was none of my business. It was only fair to him and his future queen. I had no right to feel betrayed. Or neglected. I suppose that I was just used to having people around me to talk to. On a whim I was going to go up to my room, but instead, Eli came and sat next to me.
“Hey,” he smiled. In his hand was a steaming cup of hot chocolate. He took the seat next to me and pulled the Afghan off the back and covered me with it.
“Hey,” I replied. “Thanks,” I added and pointed to the Afghan.
“No problem,” he said. “So why do you look so depressed?”
I hung my head down. I was in no mood to share my dark tale. I was not about to admit to another human being that I was being self-pitying and feeling neglected because no one spent time with me anymore.
I was not about to admit that I finally realized what my life would be like if the new queen came to live here. In fact, she wasn’t even here and I was already being neglected. I rolled my eyes in disgust. I was pathetic.
I looked back up and found Eli staring at me with his attentive eyes. Then, I remembered that he was waiting for my answer. “Oh, I am not depressed,” I answered quickly. “I am just tired.”
He studied my face, expecting a lie –which it was. I was not truly tired, but I was actually in a sad way, depressed. I was lonely, but I wasn’t alone. I was just thinking too much about everything. If only I could shut off my brain for a few hours, I would be happy.
“Tired? Are you having trouble sleeping?” he asked worried.
I gave him a small smile while I tried to think of a very suitable lie. A lie that could, and would, hide my unusual emotion. “Uh, yes. I have been having nightmares, ever since my birthday,” I quickly lied.
If I had to speak the truth and tell him how many nightmares I have actually had, and of what they were of, he might never look at me the same. I didn’t want to be the girl with the problems, the girl that was broken because of what life dealt her. Fate had dealt me a shit set of cards –losing my parents to merciless vampires, losing Luigi and now having to know that my parents’ murderers frequent the mansion and I can do nothing with a crowd. But, I refuse to bow down and meekly accept the cards I was dealt. I was stronger than that. There was no way on earth I would ever just accept what is dealt to me. I was too proud.
I looked back at Eli. He looked pained, almost as if he understood my plight. “Do you want me to sleep in your room with you?” he asked hesitantly.
I shook my head refusing his idea. “Thank you so much for the offer, but you shouldn’t have to suffer through it with me. But, I am truly grateful.” I was more than grateful, he was doing more than Alex or anyone else. Then with a quick glance at his face, I watched it fall. And my heart plummeted. “But I would love it if you stayed here with me,” I said and felt instantly better when he smiled.
We spent time talking and I felt my eyelids getting heavier and heavier and I was fighting against them. “Sleep, Livvy. I’m here,” he whispered in my ear. I obeyed and then as they shut, I faintly heard Eli murmur, “I’ll always be here,” but that might have been my imagination. Yet, before I could overanalyse it, I fell asleep.
I wasn’t asleep for too long when I heard the laughter, the cars and the music. After weeks of so much of silence, it felt weird, alien. Although, I was still in the dreamy yet awake state. I was aware of what was going on around me, but I couldn’t see it. My body was asleep, but my mind was alert.
Then I heard it all quiet down, and I was back into my dream state. Shortly after that, I was rudely disturbed from a very beautiful dream.
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?” Alex’s voice roared.
I jerked up and felt the Afghan slide down the sofa. I curled my legs and stood up disorientated. I looked down and found Eli with one arm outstretched and a dazed expression on his face. My shoes were on the floor as was Eli’s, but none of that could warrant Alex to yell like that.
I turned around and found him furiously standing behind the sofa with a beautiful redhead and Vasya as well as Antoine in tow. The redhead held onto Alex’s expensive suit jacket with a smile on her face, while Antoine and Vasya looked equally as mad as Alex. Yet, still, none of their expressions made sense to me. Why would they all be mad? And why was the –I realized belatedly that it was none of my business to question why women were in his mansion.
Smoothing down my hair, I looked at Alex in his face. “What’s wrong? Why are you screaming in the middle of the night?” I questioned him sleepily.
He turned his glare on me and if I weren’t as sleepy as I was, I would have been quivering with fear. Thank god for a slow brain after a rude awakening. His eyes were pitch black –the only other time I had ever seen it that way was the night I turned eighteen and the guy ripped my dress. “What the hell do you mean what is wrong? What in the world do you think is wrong?” he yelled at me.
His voice was filled with so much of anger and hurt that I felt bewildered to his meaning. Why was he angry? Why would he be hurt if he brought him a redhead? He would soon be fully fed and hopefully, she would be his queen.
I took a step back as he shook of the redhead from his arm and stalked towards me. “What the hell do you think is wrong with me?” he questioned, his voice was low, calm and deadly.
If he weren’t a vampire, I would have sworn that he was drunk and acting all malicious because of the alcohol. I was starting to feel the fog lift from my brain and rational thinking was once again available. All it was sending me was one message.
RUN!
Yet, being the idiot I was, I stayed. I stood my ground as he stalked and stalked towards me until he stood a hairsbreadth away from me. He stood just far enough so that he could look down at me. I was quivering with fear by that time. My heart was pounding against me ribs that I worried it would break out and just let me die so easily. I clutched my hands on both sides and stood tall and proud.
“Do you even know what hell I am dealing with?” he growled at me. “Do you even understand half of my turmoil and half of my problems? Do you know how many other things I am dealing with besides all of this?”
He spat question after question at me, leaving me further and further in confusion. “Do you even ever consider my feelings in any matter? Do you ever think what I would feel? Do you ever think of the trouble I face because of you? Do you think that because I am immortal I am immune to bullshit? Do you think that I can handle all of this shit? Do you think I can stand seeing the person I love ignore me?” he yelled at me.
Tears prickled at the back of my eyes, but I was stubborn enough not to let it all flow out. I refused to look weak in front of the redhead who seemed to enjoy the drama that unfolded. I shot a quick glance at Antoine and Vasya, both looked shocked yet neither stepped forward. I was the sole person to face Alex’s wrath and I couldn’t understand why.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered and bolted out of there, with Eli hot on my heels. As I reached my room door, I found my usual bunch of roses and a box of chocolates. For the first few days, I had a message with the accompanying that would explain the colour of the bunch of roses. It was yellow and I screamed at it.
Yet, that was being as unfair as Alex was to me. The roses had done nothing to offend me. Even if yellow was supposed to mean welcome and friendship and joy. None of those were my feelings today. How ironic, yet seemingly fitting at the same time.
I looked back at Eli who had only followed me because he was still afraid of these vampires. He looked shocked and confused. Yeah, welcome to the club buddy, I thought bitterly. Tears were flowing at that point and my voice was choked with unshed emotions.
“Eli,” I said roughly. “I never want any roses to ever enter my room or sit at my door. I don’t ever want anything to do with roses. If you ever see any roses, take them to my bush and I will bury them,” I said and slammed my door shut.
I looked around and grabbed my duffel bag and some clothes as well as some other things and dumped it all in together. I found paper and wrote a simple note to Alex and Vasya and Antoine.
Alex,
I am not running away. I am going away for a few days. I’ll see you when you are calmed. Don’t send Antoine or Vasya after me.
-Olivia
I left it in my room and climbed out the window. A couple of minutes later, I reached my destination. I was still in Alex’s grounds, just much, much further out. I found this wooden and stone and well concealed cabin a few days ago. It was fully functional and it looked very ancient. Yet, despite the dust, I fell in love with the place.
It was a simple open two room cottage. The room was through on door and behind the other was a small bathroom. Through the front door was a huge room filled for multipurpose. It was a small kitchen in one corner and the rest of the space was more for entertainment. There were chairs strewn all over and covered with white sheets. I found supplies and cleaned out the place while the sun shone and welcomed all the fresh air and sunlight. However, since this was a vampire owned place, it had thick black curtains. But I was not a vampire and the sun did not bother me. Just as the sun set and I knew Alex and Vasya and they would be out looking for me, I went to sleep.
There was an annoying ringing that woke me up. I knew it was dark outside and inside too, as I searched groggily and blindly for the noise. It was my phone. Without looking at the screen, I answered.
“Olivia Maria Montgomery! Where the hell are you?” Alex yelled lividly at me.
I yawned. “I thought I was ever supposed to use that name? Why are you calling me by it?” I asked, still half asleep.
“What the hell? You bloody ran away and you are worried what name I use? Are you okay?” he asked me, still screaming like a banshee.
I sat up in the bed and the blanket pooled at my stomach. “I left a note this time,” I pointed out stupidly.
“God damn it! And that is supposed to make me feel better? You bloody ran away without telling me why!”
“I said that I wasn’t running away,” I spoke calmly, even though I was still groggy. “I clearly remember saying that I was just going away for a few days.”
“And that isn’t running away? Leaving without telling anyone isn’t running away?” he yelled at me. “You promised you wouldn’t run away!”
“Can’t you just see it as an impromptu holiday trip?” I asked with a yawn.
“An impromptu holiday trip?” he exploded. “A bloody holiday trip? Have you bloody gone mad? Have you lost your marbles?”
Sometimes, my own stupidity surprised me. That was one of those times. “I never had any marbles to begin with,” I chuckled madly. Then, suddenly, I calmed down. “My dad said it was unladylike to play with marbles. So I never had any,” I whispered sadly.
He kept silent and I waited for him to say something. But instead, I heard scratching against a tree. Then there was the crunching of tree leaves and next I heard the rustling of tree leaves when wind was non-existent. I was beginning to get scared. I left the mansion without any weapons, so I was basically dead meat.
“What the hell are you talking about? You know what, I don’t even care! Where the hell are you?”
“Somewhere safe, don’t worry,” I said and yawned again.
“Don’t worry? Are you seriously okay? You sound like you’ve hit your head too many times against the wall.” I could hear his frustration starting to rise with me.
“I’m fine,” I answered quickly, but then I heard twigs snapping and more noises, but this time closer to the little cottage. “But I have to go; I think there’s something outside.”
“What? Tell me where you are!” he demanded.
“I can’t,” I choked out.
“You know what fine, don’t tell me! You cause too much bloody havoc and chaos in my house anyway!” he snapped.
Tears welled up in my eyes and instead of answering I cut the call and switched off my phone. Who cared about me now? Maybe it was true, and I was a waste of space. Who cared if I died or lived? Whoever was outside could kill me now. I didn’t care anymore. I had no more ambition to go on living.
Cathy, Sebastian, Rosie and Robert would be better off without me. Their new queen was arriving soon and all their attention would be focused on her. They wouldn’t even notice I left; after all, they are dealing with something bigger than me.
I grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around myself as I snuggled further into the bed. If I was meant to die now, I would die happily and miserably at the same time.
My dear parents, here I come, I thought.
I didn’t even fall off to sleep when the front door banged open with a resounding crack. I couldn’t even be bothered to care. Let me die, I begged. I had no reason to live anyway.
“Boo!” I heard them scream. I didn’t even bother to move a muscle. I wasn’t scared, I wasn’t worried. All I wanted was for my heart to stop hurting. I wanted my brain to switch off and not care about anything anymore.
They pulled off my blanket and I frowned at Antoine and Vasya. They stood there awkwardly staring at me, waiting and hoping for a reaction out of me. I just stared at them like they were retarded.
“Aren’t you even going to act shocked? Scared? Or even surprised?” Antoine asked looking at me like I was retarded.
I shrugged. “Aren’t you going to tell me what you are doing here?” I countered.
They shrugged and looked around before they made themselves comfortable on the bed. I frowned and pulled my legs up before they could injure it and rested against the cool wall. “Well, I see you found our secret hide-out,” Vasya commented.
“Yeah and I love what you did with the place,” Antoine said smirking.
I rolled my eyes at him. “Secret hide-out?” I laughed as I addressed Vasya. “This place is ancient!”
He scowled at me. “Well if you had to reconsider the period when we were youths, it would make a lot more sense to you,” he said in an offended tone.
I laughed again. But I was done with their evasive tactics. I knew that they didn’t want to divulge the real reason they were here. Looking at their faces made me realize something. Something that I would not have realized until much later and then the pain would have been much, much greater.
I realized why I finally felt so hurt when Alex told me those words. I realized why being alone in that house with no one important to talk to made me feel neglected. It made me realize why that neglect had me feeling so sad. It made me realize why the neglect bothered me as much as it did. It made me realize why the fact that used to bring women home all those years ago bothered me. I realized why I was sad every time he left me alone. I finally realized why I would obey him all the time.
I finally realized that when I ran away for the first time, it wasn’t only for my parents. In part, I ran for myself. I ran to save myself pain. I realized finally, that I ran because I was afraid. Afraid of pain.
I shook my head to draw me out of those thoughts and looked at Antoine and Vasya studying me intently. I frowned and spoke. “You aren’t getting off so easily. You two still haven’t answered me. Why are you here?”
They looked at one another, hoping that the other would speak, but neither budged. I was getting annoyed and then glared at them both. I glared each time longer at Vasya, knowing that he would crack easier because was way too talkative to be quiet for too long.
With a sigh, he relented. “We are your bodyguards,” he said hopelessly.
I scoffed. “That’s not a real reason.”
When I promised Alex that I wouldn’t run away, things were a lot calmer. There was no threat on the royal family; there was no need for bodyguards. When he appointed Antoine and Vasya for me, I shut my mouth and meekly accepted it. I didn’t agree with the logic. I wasn’t part of the royal family. I was nobody’s weakness. There was no use in kidnapping me or hurting me. There was absolutely no need for me to have guards, but not to agitate Alex further, I went along with it.
“I don’t need bodyguards. I am not part of the royal family. No one will try to harm me,” I told them with a dull look.
They looked at me, then one another and started guffawing. Whatever they found funny, I didn’t. There was nothing funny about what I just said. “Oh gosh, Livvy. You are so blind that it isn’t even funny,” Vasya chuckled.
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever,” I said offended. “But that still doesn’t explain why the hell you are here?”
Antoine took one look at my face and he answered me. “Alex sent us. He was worried what would happen to you,” he said softly.
I scoffed. “Alex doesn’t care about me,” I whispered softly. “I know that.”
Vasya looked at me like I had gone mad. “Are you sure?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Yes, I am sure.”
“You cause too much bloody havoc and chaos in my house anyway!”
“You cause too much bloody havoc and chaos in my house anyway!”
“You cause too much bloody havoc and chaos in my house anyway!”
His words haunted me. I would never forget them. It hurt to think that Vasya didn’t believe me, but then I remembered that I was just a new acquaintance of theirs. They knew Alex for years and years. How could I ever think that they would believe me over him? I was nobody to them compared to Alex.
Antoine looked pained. “Livvy, are you completely sure? I know for a fact that he does care about you. Otherwise, Vasya and I would not be here now.” Gently, he leaned forward and took my hand in his, comforting me.
I looked at Vasya. He was torn. “Vasya, I know you believe that he would never not care about me and that, but I am sure he doesn’t. He told me that I cause too much bloody havoc and chaos in his house. And I don’t know if he is always that harsh, but I think that he saves that side especially for me. I knew I was a burden to him and that was why I ran the first time. It doesn’t make sense to me anymore, Vas.”
They looked at one another, sharing a secret look between them and then Antoine nodded. I felt the guilt settling in. they both looked so shocked and hurt that he would say that and it was because of me. I was making them doubt their lifelong friend. It was true and Alex was right. I was a nuisance. It was better if I wasn’t around to cause any more troubles.
“Livvy, promise us you won’t leave and run away?” Antoine asked me.
I stared at him deadpanned. “If anyone had bothered to read my letter, they would know that I had absolutely no intention of running away. I just needed to get away from Alex,” I grumbled that no one listened or heeded my letter. I should have just left without one.
They chuckled. “Just making sure,” Vasya said smiling, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
They both stood at the same time and kissed both of my cheeks before leaving with one last advice. “Don’t open for anyone but us, okay?” Antoine asked.
I nodded and went back to sleep.