Chapter 13: Tasting Red Part 1
I slipped lower into the steaming bath.
"Stupid Alastair," I mumbled into the sultry air.
The frown on my face could have given me wrinkles. How dare Alastair claim to be leaving. And leaving me at that.
Why did he suddenly spring this on me? And with what, an excuse where we relied too much on one another?
Stupid.
Damp hair clung to the sides of my face, draping over my bare shoulders and chest like a white blanket.
Yes, what he said might have been true. I was almost finished my last year of high school and with that things were inevitably bound to change. But I never once said, or thought at any moment, about separating myself from him.
He had never brought up the issue either. What changed?
I stared at my black toenails while thoughts chased themselves in a lap around my mind. They needed to be re-painted. Oh, and my legs looked as if they needed another shaving too. No, what I really needed was a full body grooming. Groaning, I sank even lower into the warm water until it touched my nose.
Being a girl was such a hassle.
So what's your plan now, Nikki? I asked myself.
I guess I never put that much thought into it, what I'd do after school I meant. I felt like Alastair and I would always go on this way; him being there whenever I needed him and me, in turn falling hopelessly and unconditionally in love with him.
But now what? Would I go to college? Get a job? The guess was as good as any.
I pulled my knees to my chest, ignoring the prickliness of my legs, and let my eyes fall shut. I let out a heavy sigh. How could I be so naive? I should have predicted this.
I'd been deluding myself. I was living a fantasy, a dream -- something that wasn't reality. Alastair and I couldn't remain together. Things were inevitably bound to change. It was just a matter of when.
How could I be so blind?
I was only thinking about myself. This whole time, it was just about me.
And the worst part was even as I said those cruel words to myself I still wanted it to be about me. I wanted to be selfish. I wanted to be the only thing he saw, the only thing he wanted. Just me.
I'm the one who's really stupid.
Why did I have to want something so badly knowing I could never have it?
I remembered back to last night. After dinner, while we were driving home from that restaurant, Alastair said something I couldn't quite fathom. I was too angry to listen, too upset with the sudden news of him leaving to pay enough attention to anything else he had to say. But what I could remember had me confused. He said something along the lines of making sure I wouldn't regret anything. That in order for me to live a normal life, he couldn't get in the way.
What did that mean? It made no sense unless...
Like a stone thrown into a deep pool of water, my stomach fell. It made no sense unless what he was really trying to say was how much of an inconvenience I was.
Was I the one getting in his way? Was I the one stopping him from living the life he wanted? Now there were, even more, questions.
I'd always imagined a wall enclosed around me. It was built taller than anything I'd ever seen and made of some material that wasn't easily dismantled. It separated me from the rest of the world, the people I cared about. Even between Alastair that wall stood and it was just as high and difficult to climb as the rest of it.
However, there was a piece in the wall only in front of Alastair that meant I didn't have to climb. I felt it could be broken through, finally allowing an escape route that let me on the outside. It all depended on how hard I was willing to try. I thought one day, I'd finally be able to hold Alastair. One day, I'd finally be able to understand what were behind those beautifully sad eyes of his.
But who was I kidding? I could never reach him.
And when he leaves, he'll be even further away.
He never realised, did he? What I felt towards him? Well, I guess it all worked out in his favour then. If making me feel special was never part of his intention and more an illusion I had created for myself then what Alastair really thought of me this whole time was that I was just some silly little girl he could finally get away from without feeling indebted to our parents.
My jaw ticked. How dare he make me feel this guilty. I never asked you to stick by my side when Mom and Dad died! Without so much as a blink, I fisted my hand and brought it down hard on the top of the bathtub. Not even the loud thud broke through the pent up anger I felt in that moment.
"You could have left then, put me in an orphanage and severed all ties between us. At least then, all I would have felt was the hatred towards a brother who left me to defend on my own and never the care and affection I feel now!"
Hearing my own voice which at the end of that rant seemed to grow louder and echo around the bathroom made my eyes shoot open.
Crap. I didn't mean to say that allowed. Alastair was downstairs; he didn't hear me... did he?
Groaning with embarrassment now, I lolled my head back over the edge of the bathtub.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid..." the words left my mouth hanging on the end of a whisper. "This whole situation is stupid."
If Alastair really had given away guardianship, things would have been so much simpler. I wouldn't have realised the love I felt for my brother that exceeded the boundary of sibling love.
I laid still for a moment staring up at the white ceiling. I could hear the soft hum of the vent that blew cool air into the room and smell the fruity conditioner I had washed my hair with earlier.
Life would have been simpler but also... empty if Alastair wasn't with me. Which he won't be once he leaves.
The water settled completely around me. It was so still that it looked like I was laying in an empty bathtub.
I don't want him to leave.
Then something unusual caught my eye. I sat up, blue eyes following the red substance sliding down the inside of the bathtub. I lifted my hand, the one I had smacked earlier against the side of the bathtub, and saw a droplet of blood fall from it. It landed on the smooth white glaze of the tub, trailing down into the water that cradled my body. It was then that I became aware of the tingling pain in my hand.
My fist weakened, fingers uncurling from their grip. Immediately, my eyes found the finger I had cut earlier gaping and oozing with fresh blood. The band-aid had fallen off, sitting on the floor of the bathroom. With grounded teeth, I quickly seized my stinging finger and squeezed the base of it as a way to stop the stinging. More blood poured out.
It ran down my knuckles and fell into the water, droplet after droplet, red streams dispersing like smoke coming off a slow burning fire. I watched it, the sight somehow arresting my attention.
There was something about the blood...
A darkness suddenly swarmed my vision, flooding it until I couldn't see anything else.
I shifted in my spot on the staircase. My legs ached from kneeling in the same position for so long. I spied through the sculptured wooden bannister bordering my vision, eyes customising to the darkness filling the air. Voices came out of the room on the right. The light was on, dimly lighting the first step of the staircase. It was the only source of light tonight, the moon nowhere to be found in the black sea of the sky.
But it wasn't like we needed light to see.
I kept as quiet as possible. If Mommy knew I was eavesdropping she'd certainly be angry. But I just couldn't help myself; I wasn't sleepy yet.
I struggled to make sense of the words escaping the living room. I knew that's where everyone was right now. "Nikki is almost five in human years." Mommy had the prettiest voice. It was soft and gentle but could change in a heartbeat, especially when someone upset her.
The memory appeared in my mind's eyes; the time I played hide-and-seek in her closet and accidentally hooked my foot in the drape of one of her favourite dresses and tore it.
"Then she's plenty old enough for her first self-feeding."
That wasn't a good day for anyone. She sure did get mighty angry.
I hoped Alsa wouldn't be mad if he found out I snuck out of bed right after he tucked me in. It's his fault for not playing with me, though. He said he would be right back but I waited and waited for a whole five minutes and he never came back.
"Come now, Emrik," Mommy demurred. I heard movement from below, catching a light shadow from around the corner where the living room was. From my place on the staircase, I couldn't see them but I knew better than to sneak any closer. They'd sense me right away and then I really would be in trouble. "You and I both knew about the waging bellicose attitudes rising between our species," she said. "That was why we decided to shelter our daughter in the first place. No one could have foretold the direly of what our lineage would become." I blocked out most of her words. Most of it didn't make sense to me. "And now, if they were to discover her existence..."
"Even if they did, I would never let anyone hurt her." I recognised Alsa's voice immediately.
My hands tightening around the wooden bannister I peeped through. What was so fun about talking? I squirmed where I sat. Waiting was so painfully boring. He should be playing with me, not talking to Mother and Father. Alsa is my prince after all.
"And I have no doubt that you would lay your life down for her," Mommy admitted, "but it's not just the vampires lashing out now-"
"They've involved the hunters," Daddy broke in. "But even so, she cannot be constricted her entire life to know only us. It's about time she learnt to feed from the vein herself and not depend so heavily on those around her. There may come a day when her parents are no longer around to teach her what it means to be a vampire, and a Noble one at that."
"So tonight?" Mother asked unsurely.
"Now," Daddy clarified.
I still didn't know what they were saying. I just wanted Alsa.
"Then I'll go get her."
My heart thumped in my chest. I scrambled silently to my feet, eyes wide in surprise. Alsa just said he was coming to get me! I had to get back to my room before he discovered I was sneaking around!
Before tearing off down the hallway, I closed my eyes and tried with all my might to phase back to my room like everyone else did. I just as quickly gave up on that idea. Maybe I didn't have the power. Daddy said I did but I could never get it to work.
I hurried back to my room, long black hair flowing behind me as I ran. I jumped into bed, threw the blankets over me and pretended to be fast asleep. It wasn't long afterwards that I sensed a presence in my bedroom. It was Alastair, his scent all too familiar. I tried to keep the smile from creeping onto my face as I laid still.
"And here I was thinking she would still be awake," Alsa said loudly, moving around my room with soft footsteps. "I guess I must have been wrong." I tried not to laugh. He was so easy to fool.
I pretended to be asleep for a while longer but then, when I could no longer hear him, began to doubt whether Alastair was still there or not. I could still sense him in my room but that alone wasn't enough to convince me so I sat up and looked around the room with my night vision that coloured everything in shades of grey.
Was I getting that good at pretending that he really believed I was asleep?
Silly Alsa.
That was when two hands suddenly came out of the darkness behind me and grabbed the sides of my stomach. I wiggled and squirmed amongst the blankets as Alsa tickled me, giggling uncontrollably. I pleaded for him to stop when my stomach began to burn from laughing so hard.
"Did you think I wouldn't notice?" He chuckled, relenting his tickle attack.
I rolled over on the bed. "I weally thought I trick you this time, Alsa."
"Alastair," he corrected me. He often did this, but his name was just too difficult for me to pronounce like everyone else could.
I hugged a stuffed unicorn to my chest. "Ala-Alus-Al..." The word tumbled over my tongue. "Aldadare!" I exclaimed, thinking I got it right until I realised that what I had just said didn't sound like his name at all.
Smiling, Alsa patted my head. "Getting better, Nikki."
I loved when he patted my head; it meant I did something good. I also loved his warm hands. Angling my face upwards, I looked into his pretty ash mauve eyes and gave him a giant smile. My stomach was doing that weird flipping thing again.
"Play with me!" I demanded suddenly, jumping on the mattress and tugging on the sleeve of his black trench coat.
He shook his head. "I'd love to but we can't right now, Nikki."
I ceased my jumping, my bottom lip puckered in a pout. "Why?"
"Because we have somewhere to be."
I shoved my thumb in my mouth and tilted my head to the side. "Where?"
He held his hand out to me. "You'll see. Come now, darling; Mommy and Daddy are waiting."
To be continued...
A/N: Had to split this chapter into two parts. Vote & comment?
Published 21/12/2016