"Sir William Compton!" Anne shrieks.
I burst into a fit of laughter at her reaction. I had finally managed to keep a secret from Anne without her inquisitive eyes reading me, and sensing something was being kept quiet. I must admit, I had only reached two weeks before I could hold it in no longer, but it felt like an achievement to me.
"Yes, him," I say smothering my grin.
The agreements had been finalized. Paper pushing lawyers had written out all the binding necessities, and the King, my betrothed, and my family had all agreed on terms.
"I thought he was married?" She says earnestly.
"Recently widowed," I reply softly.
She looks at me straight, her laughing smile replaced with a seriousness which allows me to prepare for words of a courtly nature.
"Do not be sad for his past wife, it is the way of the world, just look at the opportunity it has afforded you." She says reassuringly.
Anne is always five steps ahead in the games of the court. I can see her mind envisioning my future status in seconds, calculating the fortune I could amass as Mistress to the King, and where it could elevate her to as my close companion: The inner circle.
"Has he had you then?" she asks.
I laugh at her crudeness, only Anne could get away with being so direct.
"No, not yet. I am still unwed." I reply.
"Pfft." She snorts. "If the paperwork is written and the contracts signed, then get the King into your bed. Get his seed inside of you." She urges.
"I cannot. It will be my husband that takes my maidenhead." I say unsure.
She eyes me, a look of annoyance creasing her brow. "The King will want your virginity, he has waited long enough for it. Better to give it to him now, than on your wedding night." She says lips raised in a grimace.
"And William, is he not going to begrudge me for this slight?" I ask.
I do not know the ways of men, however, I do not want to give William cause to hate me. I fear of tying into an unbreakable union with a man who will resent me for the rest of our joined lives.
"He is the King's loyal companion. He knows the true reasoning behind the King's involvement in arranging this proposal. He will receive station, income, property, and the Kings favour. If you bore the King a child, William would become ward to a child of royal blood, a potential claimant. Trust me, Kat. He knows the rewards and your maidenhead and bed sharing are the price," She intones so matter-of-fact.
Anne was blunt, crude, funny, and a flatterer. She used all to her advantage and the court loved her for it, and even though I can find her shocking, I must admit, I to have fallen into her web.
"Enough about me!" I say. "Any news on your future?" I ask.
She hacks back a rough cough. "They expect me to marry into Ireland. I will not have it."
Ireland. My brow creases at the name, a Celtic, unruly land full of warring factions. I have no doubt in Anne's diplomatic skill but I would not want her such a distance from the English court again.
"Are you certain they are agreeing to terms?" I ask.
She walks over to her bed, then pulls a small volume from the side of her mattress. "They are agreeing for now, not for long, though." She smirks.
"You told me that stuff is dangerous. Always a price to pay." I say seriously.
"What could this extract from me that could be worse than living my life on that dreary war-torn island, married to my dim-witted cousin." She says swiftly.
I shrug my shoulders. I have not read into these matters, not like Anne. She has turned into quite a scholar, reading everything including the forbidden. She has found several people at court who share in this interest, but to me, it is a dangerous folly.
My only solace is that she has enough sense to keep my mother's literature between us. The Lutheran stuff she could spurt forth and blame it on ignorance, the pagan talk would get her burned. A person as intelligent as Anne, could not deny, that knowing and spurting that stuff would get her branded as a witch: A simple farmer's wife knew.
"What will you do?" I ask.
"Best you do not know, Kat. There are rituals and requirements that I must undertake. You need not know, more than that."
I frown at the stubborn girl then realize I do not want to know, I do not want to burn. I am content, my future planned, and I know no matter what I say she will do as she always does, and please herself.
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Anne falls ill a few days later and I cannot help but worry if that is the price paid. Has she traded her health and vitality, to keep her in England? If so, then the cost is cruel.
It is winter and the court is preparing for a month of festivities. There are new dances and pageants to learn and plenty of gifts to purchase. I feel that my excitement is heightened above all others, as Henry has promised my new union in January, which means each longing stare, and each passionate kiss will have more purpose with a climax in sight.
I will also be meeting my betrothed for the first time, he has been invited to court from his estate for the Yule tide celebrations. I find I am more nervous about our encounter, than any other emotion. We are using each other for our own purposes, me for peace of mind and security, him for status and wealth, I doubt there will be love between us, just a means to an end.
I still have this overpowering fear that he will be cruel or a drunk like Jane Boleyn's husband. I remember her scared features, knowing she was wed to a man who above all else is ambitious, rough, and loved by everyone at court. She has turned in on herself, growing meeker by the day, I have seen the coloured bruises which she tries to hide upon her body and can only pray that William will be kind and gentle towards me.
We celebrate throughout the season as much as we can in accordance to their faith. We laugh and dance on the evenings only to pray and perform devout ritual throughout the days, taking heed of the holy days and practices which must be followed.
It is in these times, when my mind is free to wander and my body is stagnant that I actually look back on my own practices. This season was special to us too, the Winter Solstice, a time to celebrate the beginning of day returning to us. We celebrated as much as we could, and were always lucky that the Christian festivities ran at the same time as ours, allowing us to blend nicely with society, I just hated the prayers.
Gift-giving is important at this court, a way to gain favour and I struggle with the concept of what to give a King that already has everything he desires. Until the most simple and yet, logical idea begins to form in my mind.
My gift will be my maiden head. On the twelfth night, before the years end and before I am married to another, I shall have Henry into my bed.
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