I'm sorry! It's been so so long! I ended up going to therapy and telling two of my friends about my bipolar disorder and it just got to be such an emotionally challenging month but I missed updating this story and hearing from all of you (hopefully you're still reading!).
Harry sighed peacefully, gripping onto the metal bars in the pool as Aiden slowly helped him move along, arms around the boy's torso.
"That's it..." he said, slowly letting go of Harry. "See if you can just drift along, alright?"
Harry nodded with determination, managing to kick his legs a little bit, propelling him forward.
Aiden beamed with pride. None of the physical therapy had been working up until now, but when Harry mentioned that baths seemed to ease his pains, his physiotherapist suggested aquatic therapy, and it was finally the little window of hope that all of Harry's friends and family had been waiting for. They'd also put a humidifier in his room and readjusted the humidity levels in his oxygen and his breathing had become noticeably less rattly and he was able to stay awake longer and move around a bit more, a small bit of vibrancy returning to him that he was scared he had lost forever.
Louis was glowing when he picked Harry up, combing his fingers through Harry's wet hair and kissing him on the cheek before helping him into the car.
Just last week the team of doctors assigned to Harry's case had sat him down to let him know they were considering amputation, and then Monday, his therapy finally started helping just when it felt like a hopeless cause. Things were looking up.
Louis looked younger today- he had actually shaved for once, and probably even eaten a vegetable or two this week. He'd also softened out a little since he'd stopped playing football, something Harry felt terrible about. He made a mental note to remind Louis to go to practice again sometime, but he didn't want to do anything to spoil the mood right now. Harry had visited the boys' house for a movie night the other day and it felt just like old times. His cheeks hurt from laughing, and he was still glowing from the high of feeling normal.
"What are you so smiley about?" Harry finally asked, as Louis pulled up into the driveway.
"I may or may not have a surprise for you," Louis smiled, turning off the radio and getting out to help Harry out of the car.
"Tell meee," Harry whined, letting Louis wheel him up to the front porch where his mom had set up a makeshift ramp for their house.
"I wanted to keep it a secret but..." Louis grinned. "A new really trendy really fancy place opened up in town and I thought I could take you out to dinner tonight."
"Really?" Harry asked, his eyes lighting up. They hadn't been on a proper date since before Harry's condition had started.
"Do you want to get ready and I'll pick you up at seven?" Louis asked.
Harry felt slightly panicked about the fact that he knew he couldn't get on a pair of trousers on his own, but he nodded anyway, thrilled at the prospect of a proper date- a fancy date. Louis kissed him goodbye, leaving him full of excited butterflies and the promise to see him in a few short hours.
Harry wheeled into his house and felt relief washed over him when he saw Niall in the kitchen talking to his mum.
"I heard Louis had some plans for tonight, figured you could use some help getting ready," Niall explained. "That boy's terrible at keeping secrets." Niall steered Harry into the bathroom to shampoo his hair over the sink, trying to rinse out the chlorine smell of the therapy pool.
Harry sighed contently as Niall massaged his scalp.
"So how nice is the restaurant?" Harry asked as Niall wrapped his hair in a towel and wheeled him over to his room. He was buzzing with nervous energy already. Him and Louis didn't go on formal dates fairly often, not since Harry had practically dragged Louis out to his prom.
"Really freaking classy," Niall said, riffling through Harry's closet. "You want the blue button down?" he asked, knowing how much Harry loved the colour.
Harry nodded, and Niall tossed it over. "Might want to add the suit jacket over top," Niall said. "You can always take the jacket off, but you can't put one on over top."
"True," Harry said, and wiggled into the slim fit jacket.
Niall held up a pair of jeans that were so black they looked like they were dipped in ink. They used to be Harry's favourite before it got to be too much of a hassle to get into them.
Harry made a face.
"I know," Niall said. "But do you really want to wear your sweatpants to dinner?"
Harry sighed and tried to lift his body weight up a little as Niall shimmied his sweatpants off and got to work trying to get his jeans on.
Harry's legs felt disgusting at this point. There were almost no patches of visible skin colour on them any longer. It was a sea of irritated burgundy patches, grey toned rash areas and puckered and raised skin. Harry knew they were still considering amputating, but the rash was up onto his hips now, so they were worried it wouldn't stop anything from spreading. He ran his fingers lightly over the messiness of his thighs, wondering what it would feel like if they were just gone.
Niall didn't comment on Harry's worsening condition, just dutifully pulled Harry's old jeans over the messiness of his legs. "You look gorgeous," Niall said, his blue eyes alight.
You look like yourself, Harry could tell Niall was aching to say, but the unspoken words hung between the two of them.
"I'll drive you to the restaurant," Niall offered, hastily slipping on a nice button down and grabbing a jacket from his bag.
"You came prepared," Harry remarked.
"You have no idea how much of a big deal Louis' been making this into," Niall said. "If they don't let us in because I'm dressed like a trashcan, Louis might never forgive me."
Harry laughed, his nose crinkling around his breathing tube as he smiled. "I love how Louis somehow managed to turn this into this whole, like, event," Harry laughed.
"You have no idea," Niall smiled, wheeling Harry out into the car.
* * * * * * *
Niall gently pushed open the massive double doors, and Harry instantly felt a room full of eyes all on him.
Harry knew what it was like to stop breathing from when his lungs got tighter. Knew what it was like to cough so much you couldn't catch your breath. He knew the ache from when he got frustrated with his oxygen tank and ripped out the tubes until his chest hurt so much he gave into it again.
He'd never had his breath taken away quite like this before though.
Niall squeezed his hand. "Are you ready?" he whispered.
Harry just nodded, too in shock to squeeze back, eyes focused on Louis who was standing at the end of the aisle.
The aisle.
Louis gave a half-apologetic, half-mischievous smile- a smile that said sorry for not telling you about your own wedding, but it's more fun this way.
Niall wheeled Harry slowly down the aisle as the violins played, stopping him once he got to be side by side with his boyfriend, Niall slipping into the line with the rest of the wedding party- Liam, Zayn, and Harry's mum.
"Hey baby," Louis whispered to Harry. "Sorry for springing this up on you. Thought it might be nice for you to not have to plan anything."
"Thought I was too young to get married," Harry said, happy tears pooling in his eyes.
"I've never been this happy to rush into anything in my life," Louis said, kissing Harry on the forehead. "Also," he added softly, "I don't think I ever formally proposed, so I should probably do that before this whole wedding thing happens... Harry Edward Styles, will you please marry me?"
Harry nodded, and he was crying now, Louis holding onto both hands and kneeling beside him. He almost forgot that there was a whole room full of people with their eyes trained on them, but it was Louis and Harry's little world- always had been.
Louis gave a quick nod to the minister, and returned his attention to Harry, rubbing his thumbs along Harry's palms as they listened to the speech. Louis stayed kneeling the whole time, so he could be eye to eye with Harry.
Their first kiss as husbands was as gentle and curious as their first kiss while dating had been. Harry held Louis' hand for the whole night, constantly running his fingers over Louis' wedding band, the beautiful reminder of forever, forever, forever.
No matter how long that might be.