Normani was exhausted. It was as if Lauren was an enormous vacuum that enjoyed sucking every ounce of energy out of her weary body. She felt so completely powerless and angry that she could barely contain it. After their confrontation, she was left petrified of the vicious beast that had awoken within her as she pounded her fist into Veronica's face. She was aware that her thanks should be owed the guy a floor below, whom after having heard the scuffle rushed upstairs to save Normani from her inner monster, yet a large, rather sinister side of her still wished that she had reduced the deserving girl to a bloodied pulp.
She could feel the blood on her hands – both Veronica's blood and Lauren's – and they shook uncontrollably with the knowledge that she could have done more. Her fear and her guilt manifested into emotions that she was barely able to contain. There was so many conflicting and rather ugly emotions that had decided to rear their head at the most critically dire of times. She could scarcely think straight with the wild circus flinging acrobats through her mind and having lions roaring down her nerves. And now she had Camila to deal with on top of everything else.
She could recall how Camila had screamed and howled when the medics had torn Lauren's motionless body from the younger girl's vice-like grip. Her cries echoed hauntingly around Normani's mind, trapped and searching for a release that Normani was not prepared to give. She was forced to restrain the distraught girl to allow for the paramedics to attend to the unconscious body, despite her own heart seemingly having fallen out from the new large gape in her chest. Camila was too hysterical to acknowledge the raw pain that Normani herself was attempting to deal with, and therefore Normani was left with the responsibility of reassuring both the girl in her arms and herself potentially falsely.
It physically pained Normani to allow Camila to ride in the ambulance with Lauren rather than herself, but she was aware that now was not the time for petty jealousy. She just had to continue praying that Lauren would wake up to find the girl of her dreams attending to her lovingly, and if Lauren's happiness meant giving her place up in an ambulance, than so be it. Normani had always known that she wouldn't continue to be the number one girl in Lauren's life. They had always been close, and loving even, but it had never really sparked between the two of them...and then she had met Dinah. Granted, Lauren was essentially taken when they first met anyway – Camila had already sunken her claws in well and truly by that stage.
She let out a puff of air in an exaggerated sigh as she lifted her face towards the night sky. There was almost a ghost of a smile upon her lips as she gazed up at the rare sight of stars, the warm Miami breeze playing gently with her hair as she watched them twinkle.
"It's so tragically beautiful," a voice muttered softly from her shoulder. She could feel the warm breath glide across her skin as warm arms wrapped themselves comfortably around her waist.
Normani turned her head to the side, tilting it back slightly to stare into her girlfriend's eyes. "Do you mean the stars or the two girls?"
Dinah stared back at her silently before breaking it thoughtfully, "Both."
Normani was almost shocked to hear such insightful and deep words coming from Dinah's mouth. The girl often gave some good advice, but Normani had always been under the impression that her girlfriend was more of an impulsive and spirited nature than a wise and deliberated one. Perhaps, though, she had overlooked a major facet of personality that made up the beautiful girl comforting her. "Hm..."
"She'll be fine y'know?"
Normani just stared out silently, not wanting to jinx such a precarious situation.
"That girl has already stared Hell down in the face and lived to tell the tale – this is nothing. How she isn't dead by now is nothing short of a miracle." Dinah paused and shook her head, joining the star-gazing taking place beside her. "I don't know exactly what games the Gods are playing right now, but she's here for a reason. She can't die like this."
Normani stared back at her girlfriend, her concern visibly present as the worry gnawed away at her gut. "How do you know?" she whispered in a barely perceivable voice.
"I just do. I can feel it."
Normani wanted to believe Dinah, she really did, but she couldn't stop the doubt from spilling forth from her mouth, darkening the atmosphere. She hated to ask the question, "And what if you're wrong?"
***
An ambulance blared its sirens through the endless night, the girl inside clinging onto the love of her life in silent prayer. Her fingers clutched desperately around a cold hand, a stark reminder of the grim outcome that grew more probable with each second. Yet she refused to dwell on that, refused to believe that life could be so unmerciful and cruel.
Tears leaked out of the girl's eyes like an endless faucet, her eyes rubbed raw from the liquid sandpaper rolling across the salty hills of of her cheeks. The girl felt so lost, so completely empty, that her name was merely a foreign memory. Only her sleeping beauty could reawaken her name, those emerald eyes breathing life back into something so worthless without their existence.
But a memory. A memory could allow those currently lifeless lips to move again, to form the syllables that once spoke her name: Camila... Even if only in her mind
**Flashback**
13 Years Prior
"Camila, stop being such a little baby!"
"I'm not a baby!"
"Well why do you sound like one?"
"I-I d-don't!" she stuttered, her voice riddled with insecurity.
"Are you s-s-sure?!" the girl standing over her mocked, mimicking her voice with a sardonic chuckle.
"I... Y-yeah."
"You don't sound too sure."
"I– I am!"
"Whatever, go off and play with all your stupid baby friends!" the girl scoffed, pointing over to the group of first-grade children chasing each other around. The girl turned away, seeking to absolve herself of the annoying brown-eyed girl's presence.
Camila frowned, her small fingers clutching around the retreating girl's smooth wrist. "But-but I want you. A-and you're my friend? Aren't you?"
"No." Green eyes met brown. "I can't be your friend Camila." The lack of her usual nickname felt like a slap across the face.
The younger girl could feel the traitorous sting of tears rising, much like the sensation of heat near skin to warn of a impending burn. Her resistance was admirable, staving the oncoming torrent with timely blinks that would last a few seconds. Steeling herself, she managed to successfully keep her tears at bay in order to reluctantly search for the answers she was reluctant to hear.
"W-why?" she whispered quietly, her eyes timidly peeking up at the intense fire that threatened to disintegrate what remained of her innocent heart.
"Because princesses aren't meant to be together."
"But...but we are! We are Camz and Lolo!" she gazed up with eyes filled with naïve hope, only to be crushed with the disparaging response.
"We aren't NOTHING!" Lauren shouted. Her eyes were ablaze with a fury unparalleled to any other emotion Camila had witnessed from her childhood crush.
The younger girl flinched backwards at the harsh words thrown at her. Yet nothing could protect her from the debilitating pain that pierced her heart. No longer could she keep the dam secure, the flood-gates finally breaking to allow the immensely building backlog of water to gush freely from its enclosure.
Watery brown puppy eyes gazed longingly at the girl standing on the other side of the invisible abyss before her. Her heart was teetering precariously at the precipice already anticipating the endless drop that was becoming increasingly likely with every beat. "But you're–you're my buddy, my bestest friend, you're my princess, you're... mine, my Lolo... we–us...I-I need you. We– Y-you need me?" the younger girl was a mess of stumbling words and gentle sobs.
"No. You don't need me and I don't need you! You're no good for me and I'm no good for you." She shook her head in contempt, her glassy eyes staring down steely into Camila's vulnerable ones. "And we," her index moved to focus between the two of them, "are NOT friends. I don't have any friends. I don't NEED any friends!" She spat out the last part before turning back on her heel to hide the pained expression that Camila had and never would see.
Just as she was about to walk off and leave the broken mess behind her, she threw the final part of her debilitating speech over her shoulder. "Oh and don't EVER talk to me or I'll tell all the other kids you still wet the bed... God you're such a stupid baby!" she shook her head and with the final remark Lauren was left to walk away while a crumpled body lay in her wake. The young bundle of misery that barely resembled Camila was too heartbroken to do anything but breakdown. She clutched at her chest in agony, wailing silently on and on, unable to stem the tears or numb the pain that had seeped into her very soul.
When the teachers found the bawling child they couldn't seem to get anything intelligible out of the girl. Unable to help her and silently praying to get the problem off their hands, the child's mother was called. A panicked Sinuhe Cabello burst through the office doors in a fluster and gathered the weeping child into her warm motherly embrace. With a sigh of great relief, the source of the teachers' stress was soon removed from the school premises and they were able to move on with their day and forget the annoyance that had interrupted their usual schedule.
Camila remained silent and pensive on the entire ride home while her mother remained reluctant to pry until they were back in the safe confines of their home. With concern the question was finally asked, after they settled inside "What's wrong, mi hija?"
Big brown eyes stared up tearfully meeting Sinu's own, before words no mother wants to hear left her child's mouth. "I-I lost her Mama." Droplets leaked from the shutters over Camila's eyes. "I'm not a pretty princess, I'm the dragon that makes scared the princess. I scared her away."
**End Flashback**
The hospital was awash with people rushing about. Doctors, nurses, patients, visitors all streamed through the building each with differing agendas. As soon as they were removed from the ambulance, Lauren was pushed into Emergency with Camila trailing on like a lost and panicked puppy. Her hand had found its way home in Lauren's own, and her fingers wove possessively with the unresponsive girl's as if the gesture would ensure their connection.
Nurses and doctors swarmed the hastily speeding gurney as it created its own pathway down the hallway. Camila tried valiantly to keep the pace but was torn away, intercepted by a nurse who ushered her over to the "waiting area with everyone else". As the nurse spoke, Camila was distracted as her mind busied itself in by devising different escape routes which would enable her to return to Lauren's side.
She grew increasingly agitated, separation anxiety overwhelming her vulnerable state; a helpless child removed from her source of comfort. Her head seemed to be defying the voice of reason, following the snake of temptation to the darker recesses of her own mind. There, she was confronted with hundreds of realities that could somehow fathom a world without Lauren, a confronting list of possibilities and reactions. In the back of her mind she could hear the heart rate monitor flatline and see her soul drift away from the lifeless corpse.
Camila shook her head wildly, forcefully dislodging the harrowing images from her mind. For what was not the first time, her overactive imagination proved to be more of a burden than a helpful distraction. It wasn't her fault though, she couldn't help the fearful thoughts that seized her when Lauren wasn't within her grasp.
As she drove herself crazy with her mind running in endless loops, she didn't even notice Ally approach. Therefore, when Ally's small hand was placed gently upon Camila's shoulder, she jumped and spun around completely caught off guard.
"Woah Camila! Calm down, it's only me."
Camila choked on the breath she attempted to release as the shock still coursed through her system. Even the steady flow of tears had stemmed due to the unpleasant surprise. After taking a couple of moments to regain herself, Camila surprised both Ally and herself by suddenly flinging her arms around the shorter girl and grasping her in a tight embrace.
The two girls stayed there, locked in one anothers' embrace for a couple of minutes, each of them pouring every feeling into the emotionally charged hug. "Ally, is she going to get through this one?" Camila mumbled into Ally's shoulder.
"I don't know, Camila. I really don't know."
***
Ten minutes later, Dinah burst into the waiting room, interrupting the two girls' conversation and turning every head in to room toward her and her trailing girlfriend.
"Okay, now where is the little vampire?! God Lauser is such a Lauser!" Normani just face-palmed herself in response, still standing off in the background in an attempt to remove any association from the source of the embarrassing disruption.
As soon as Dinah spotted the two girls, she headed over towards them, her mouth never knowing when to stop. "God, why is everyone so quiet in here? It's not like we're a funeral. THEY'RE ALL STILL ALIVE PEEPS, STOP YO' MOURNING!" she called out loudly, much to the utter embarrassment of the darker skinned girl.
"Dinah! Will you quit it?! People actually do die here!" Normani whispered harshly. "And Lauren could also easily fall into that category!"
Dinah's face fell, and she had the sense to appear somewhat abashed."Sorry Mani. I was just... trying to liven the scene a little. It just feels like she's already died or something with the way people are acting."
Normani sighed. She knew that Dinah's way of coping with difficult situations was to use humour to deflect, a defense mechanism that was beyond the younger's control. After all, it was one of the many reasons why she loved her so much. "That's okay D. Just tone it down a little, alright?" The younger girl nodded in response, giving the impression of a scolded puppy that had just ruined it's owner's new clothes.
"Hey guys, how are you both holding up?" she asked gently, focusing on the Ally and Camila, both of which had calmed immensely from the masks of horror and despair that each girl wore when last Normani had seen them.
"As well as can be expected," Ally answered. Camila mutely nodded her agreement from beside the shorter girl.
Normani let out a melancholic sigh. "Yeah, same."
They all fell silent, each person brooding on their own forlorn thoughts. Normani felt a strange emptiness engulf her, a numbness that drowned out every emotion that would usually cloud her judgement. In many ways she longed to feel something. Some sort of overwhelming emotion that possessed her body and overrode her reason, something that indicated her absolute terror and concern for her best-friend dying in some sterilised, impersonal room with strangers surrounding her. Yet there was nothing. It struck her as odd that after all the years of saving her sizeable Cuban ass that she was left with nothing when Lauren needed her most.
Eventually her thoughts were interrupted by a small voice. "Do... Do you think she'll be alright?"
Normani glanced up at the other small Cuban, looked her dead in the eyes and muttered, "I honestly don't know."
Camila's eyes seemed to grow teary once again as she nodded her head dejectedly. She clung to Ally like a drowning man to a life-saver, leaving Normani thankful that it was Ally and not herself receiving what appeared to be a painful pattern of finger-shaped bruises across her arms from the younger's white-knuckled grasp. Normani could only compare Camila's reddened, puffy eyes to that of a stoned person. Camila, despite her admittedly attractive features, was – for lack of a better word – an utter train-wreck.
Her hair was frazzled and sticking out in gravity defying directions, her lips were dry and cracked due to the excessive salt present in her tears, her dress was twisted and crumpled unattractively, and her makeup rendered her appearance somewhat like Heath Ledger's take on the Joker in that Batman movie that Normani recalled somewhat enjoying. Somewhere within her addled brain she managed to garner a small degree of sympathy for the mess before her and a part of her felt undoubtedly responsible for her presence at the hospital.
Glancing over from the despondent girl to her own evidently bored girlfriend, a small idea started to form in Normani's head. She leaned over to Dinah and encouraged her to approach Camila and distract her from everything with a prank on the nurses. Dinah eagerly nodded– much to Normani's own relief –glad to be actively doing something rather than sitting around waiting. To say that her girlfriend was impatient would be a complete understatement. Many a time had Normani been asked to leave a store due to Dinah's inability to entertain herself, much to the utter embarrassment of the darker-skinned girl. Trying to instill the art of patience into Dinah was like trying to teach a cat to play "fetch"; an impossible task.
So Normani watched with great pride as her lioness played mother to the lost and vulnerable pup. She observed the brunette Latina slowly peel herself away from a relieved Ally and increasingly build intrigue and enthusiasm with every word that left the tall blonde's mouth. Before long the two were giggling away as if they were two best-friend's sharing a secret. They were pointing at some of the nurses and chattering away, no doubt plotting some stupid scheme that was likely to get them all in some kind of trouble.
Normani shook her head with a sigh, watching her girlfriend slide off of her seat into a crouch, pulling an excited Camila behind her. The smaller girl's eyes still conveyed a deep sadness that seemed to be reminiscent of her soul, despite the enthusiastic façade that masked the true pain. It was admirable in Normani's opinion, more so than her own impervious prison that protected herself from all and any emotion deeper than a pin-prick.
The two troublemakers crept along, making obscene gestures with their arms that Normani couldn't begin to comprehend and whispering so loudly that she would swear the room next to them could hear their unintelligible murmurs. Normani glanced over at Ally, who was too busy reassuring Lauren's worried friends via phone calls and messages to notice the two new comrades failing at their poor 007 imitation. They were more like the "Dumb and Dumber" pair than the young "Thelma and Louise" duo they were attempting to impersonate.
The nurse manning – or in this case wo-maning – the desk finally turned around, giving the two mischief-makers the perfect opportunity to reach whatever juvenile target they had selected. Dinah was wildly gesturing to Camila who was nodding equally as frantically, the two of them popping up from their "hiding place" and legging it down the corridor, only to almost collide with the person that had appeared from behind the two hospital doors. The two girls halted, their faces revealing a mortified expression before shifting into admonished embarrassment, as the stern man gave them each a reproving glance. Normani couldn't help but let out a chuckle at the twosome's misadventures, finally feeling something beyond the consuming numbness that had encompassed her as soon as she had spotted that body on the bed.
The sophisticated man strode purposely into the room exuding the usual arrogant air that such conceited people possess. Camila and Dinah had backed up and hastily plastered themselves to opposing walls to allow the man through, evidently frightened by egotistical aura that emanated from him. Normani thought to remind herself to ask him for the secret, if she weren't so intimidated by the man herself.
He approached the desk, appearing to act all suave and charming despite the fact that he was probably old enough to be the young nurse's father. Normani couldn't help but compare the scene to an Alpha wolf circling around a skittish rabbit who was completely aware of it's own doom. As predicted, it didn't take long for him to remove the mask to reveal a snarling beast, ready to rip through anything in it's path. Unfortunately for the youthful nurse, she was the one with a painted target on her forehead.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU 'DON'T KNOW'?!" he roared furiously. His fist met the table with a resounding thump that made every person in the room jump in shock. "I pay for the BEST medical treatment in this country and I can't even find out whether my child is alive!"
The nurse seemed to respond with some timid, unsatisfactory answer, because in no time at all he was roaring again.
"I have an EXTREMELY important meeting to get to that I can't possibly miss. Do you understand me so far?... you pathetic excuse for a nurse! I have already had to cancel three meetings to get here, and I expect to at least find out if my stupid daughter is still fucking breathing!"
Judging by the situation, if Normani wasn't wrong she had a fair idea of who the man could be. She glanced over at the other familiar faces in the room, and for some reason noticed Camila's wary expression. There was a strange glint in her chocolate orbs that signified that she knew exactly who this man was. So he has always been like this, Normani deduced, immediately feeling a huge wave of sympathy for her hospitalised friend. She turned back to look at the man she now knew to be Lauren's father, continuing to watch the scene unfold.
"You know what? I don't fucking need THIS, I don't need YOU, and I don't need to be HERE in this shitty hellhole. For all I care, that ungrateful little bitch can go and die! She did this to herself. She's a just another burden on society; her and all her dyke friends! Hope you all rot in Hell," and with that hate inspired speech, he was gone as soon as he had arrived.
A/N:
Hey everyone!
I have had this chapter finished for WEEKS but I was planning on finishing the entire story before posting the final chapters. Well... THAT never happened!
Unfortunately I had one of the shittiest weeks last week that were just FULL of bad decisions that make me seem like one of the self-destructive, idiot protagonists commonly found in a fanfic (**cough cough** Lauren **cough cough**) (NOTE: Why is she always the niave/fuckgirl idiot in most of these fanfics?).
Too much drinking and trying to be someone I'm not just to impress people who aren't even my friends. Oh and not to mention placing myself in dangerous situations in a foreign city without friends around me. **Cue round of applause**
So that was SUPER shitty and depressing. Well done me.
Moving on...
Get excited people! The next chapter is already written!!! :O
What do you think about Lauren's father? Do you think Lauren will pull through?
Anyway, PLEASE be careful, be smart, be tolerant and accepting of yourself. Be true and cherish your body and mind, because you are special and beautiful always.
Love always,
Mel <3