Troiann was acting funny. It was fifth period Monday morning and she sat with so much posture and attitude as Mr. Ventura droned on about the true love in classic novels and plays.
She hadn't said anything all morning and by the way DeAndre and Tremaine kept looking at her I just knew something was amiss.
Mr. Ventura could talk all he wanted to, but I simply did not care. There were only three more weeks left of school anyway.
I gathered my phone in my lap and texted Troy.
Troiann played nonchalant as she reached into her purse while she raised her hand to comment on whatever it was that Mr. Ventura had asked.
"I say we're young, seventeen, goal oriented and career focused young adults on our way to the top. Screw love, that can wait," she said.
Her remark garnished a nod of approval from DeAndre and a shake of disagreement from Tremaine.
Something was up.
"That's a very interesting point, Miss Nguyen, but what if you end up alone after putting love off?" Mr. Ventura countered.
Troiann shrugged. "At least I'll have my money."
Others spoke up and a debate went into play. Troiann took the opportunity to read over my text and reply.
The bell rang somewhere in the background. What?
Troiann gathered her things and I had to rush to gather mine to catch up.
I met her in the hall, huffing for breath.
"W-what...happened?" I asked.
"Nothing." Troiann watched as DeAndre and Tremaine walked by looking at her with so much judgment in their eyes, well at least on Tremaine's part. Tremaine whispered something to DeAndre and DeAndre shook his head.
"Then what's going on?"
"Nothing, Cree. I was just done with Marcus, that's all. The rest of the Ballas are just acting like a bunch of S.A.B.s"
"S.A.B.s?"
"Sensitive Ass Bitches." Troiann led the way to the lunch room with a sway to her hips. A sway girls like me would need years of experience or practice to master. "We're not sitting with the Ballas any more by the way."
"Why not? They're our friends."
Troiann snorted. "Yeah, right. They're nothing but a bunch of assholes. We were never friends."
"That's not true. They look out for us."
Troiann stopped just as we made it to the cafeteria entrance.
"Friends? DeAndre blackmailed me into convincing you to go to After Hours that night. He knew I was messing with Marcus and held it against me."
She said it to hurt me. To turn me against DeAndre and the boys. But what hurt more was the fact that DeAndre had told me first to prove that he was genuinely trying to be my friend, and Troiann hadn't told me until after and when she did she left out the blackmail and the set-up.
Blinking, I took a step back. "You're only saying that to turn me against them. DeAndre already told me everything before you told me."
Troiann appeared impassive. "So is that your decision?"
"My decision? Troy we can still sit with them."
Troiann rolled her eyes and headed into the cafeteria. "Be that way then. When anything goes down and you need someone we'll see who's there for you."
"Just like you were there for me with Dereon?" I shot back as we got in line.
Troiann faced me, ignoring our small audience. "Grow up, Cree. No boy wants a baby."
"He came off controlling and aggressive!"
"Wow, one bad date and you act like you can't go on another one."
I took a step back and squinted, unable to see who was standing in front of me. It definitely wasn't Troiann. "What's wrong with you?"
She stepped closer. "You're what's wrong with me. You're supposed to be my best friend but no, you're standing here defending them. I ended it with Marcus thinking maybe we could all still be cool but the first thing I see this morning is Tremaine looking at me some type of way. Why? Because he's a Balla and they stick together. I bet if this was Marcus who ditched me, Tremaine wouldn't see a problem and would be eyeing me like he hoped he was next in line. They look out for each other and I thought we had the same thing. They're judging me and you don't even have my back!"
I was at a loss for words as she turned her back on me.
I wasn't hungry and I wasn't in the mood to sit with the Ballas either. Troiann's words had sunk in deep within my skin and I couldn't shake them off. Instead, I found myself alone at a table, sulking.
Angry or upset, I didn't want to do homework and my stomach felt as if it were in knots. Oh, I was so dramatic.
Troiann had her lunch and went and sat with a couple of football players and eyed me for all of a second before shrugging and smiling at Brandon Karter. Brandon was big and buff and the total package when it came to looks. He wasn't a Balla but he definitely could put them to the test because he was known for pulling girls too. Still, I wondered how Marcus would react to seeing Troiann move on so soon.
I didn't worry about Marcus. I was too hurt to think about his feelings. Troiann was always the more social one and the one people gravitated to. She was more worldly than I was and seemingly the only person besides DeAndre willing to put up with my beliefs and aspirations. Next to DeAndre, Troiann was the only one with the patience to see things my way and still try to set me straight. It seemed like Tremaine was becoming like that, but with the way he was looking at Troy, I wondered if we were through too.
I had dropped the ball with my best friend.
A chair was being pulled out from underneath the table and I looked over to find DeAndre taking a seat across from me. He looked bored and held the most grace as he took a seat and sat back.
He set a pack of Reese's on the table and slid it my way as some sort of peace offering.
I couldn't help but smile seeing how he was always picking on me about my sweet tooth.
"Thank you," I mumbled as I slid the candy into my purse.
"What's wrong, Cree?" He even sounded immensely uninterested.
I shook my head. "Nothing."
"Nothing?" He cocked a brow. "Nothing involves you sitting over here and Troy over there?" He nodded in Troiann's direction. She really was hitting it off with Brandon who seemed to be enjoying her company as well.
Across the cafeteria in our usual corner sat the Ballas' table and Marcus had his gaze locked on Troiann. If looks could kill, Brandon would be annihilated.
"We had a fight," I confessed.
DeAndre nodded. "That's what most friends end up doing at some point."
"She says you guys aren't really our friends. She threw it in my face about your blackmailing her into making me go out to After Hours."
"I told you all that."
"Yes, because you're really trying to be my friend."
"Your best friend," he corrected.
I didn't want to smile when I was upset with Troiann, but dang it, if DeAndre didn't have impeccable timing. "Stop it; I wanna be mad right now."
"What for?"
"I'm fighting with Troiann."
DeAndre rolled his eyes. "Friday is the big day and I'ma need you to be mentality focused. Cut the shit, Cree."
He kept pushing for me to focus on the talent show and my dance routine. He insisted on writing the final version of our paper and would be turning it in during eighth period to Mr. Donatelli. He wanted me to relax and to prepare for Friday, as if it were the most important thing in the world.
"Why do you care so much?" I dared to ask.
He shrugged. "I'm being a best friend, Cree. Besides, it's practice, next winter I expect the same treatment when it comes to basketball if I'm ever stressed."
"You guys won the city title this year."
"I had Devonte and it's gonna be even more pressure to do it again next year on my own. Being a Parker's tough shit during basketball season."
I could only imagine how hard Mr. Parker rode him every winter.
"I'll be here for you, I promise."
He nodded as he stood to his feet. He passed by me, squeezing my shoulder and saying, "Get to the right table, Cree."
DeAndre soon went over to Troiann, no doubt to smooth things over with her as well like the mediator he was.
My mood wasn't completely restored but I felt better enough to go grab lunch before heading over to the Ballas' table.
There was a girl standing in front of my usual spot, talking to Tremaine and doing the most.
I tried to clear my throat but the girl played deaf and kept flirting with Tremaine.
DeAndre came over and the girl turned to him and smiled.
Taking one look at me and the situation at hand, DeAndre made it known he wanted to sit by me. "You're standing in Cree's way."
The girl turned and eyed me and stepped to the side, looking back to DeAndre. "So is she your new girl or something?"
DeAndre shook his head as he sat back and opened a bottle of Cherry Coke. "Nah, she's the homie. Problem?"
"Not even."
I took my place at the table beside Tremaine and the girl sauntered off.
Tremaine nudged me with a friendly smile but I looked elsewhere. Troiann was my best friend and it wasn't right that he was treating her funny due to Marcus. Troiann was right, had Marcus beat her to the punch the boys wouldn't have batted an eye.
Troiann came over to the table escorted by Brandon. Together they were laughing about something, causing tension to set in quickly.
Brandon set Troiann's tray down and handed over her backpack before heading back to his own table.
Troiann took her seat and immediately looked my way. Her upper lip curled up and she made a face, but soon she rolled her eyes and smiled.
I smiled too. We were too close to let anything really get in the way of our friendship.
"Oh, Cree, before I forget. Howard wants me to spend the night today, can you please come over with me?" Troiann asked.
"She can't," DeAndre spoke up for me. "We're doing something."
We were?
He gave me a look as if to challenge him.
Troiann rolled her eyes. "She's never going to let you hit, Dre."
"Never say never, Troy."
"By the way," I cut in, looking at the both of them, "I'm right here." I turned to DeAndre. "And she's right, you couldn't."
DeAndre smirked and shook his head. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Cree."
"Brandon's one of the sorriest dudes on the team," Marcus muttered, causing everyone to stop what they were doing.
We all knew it was a lie. Brandon often got compliments on his playing skills. In fact, he, Marcus and Tremaine were the top three football players at our school.
Troiann went on as if Marcus hadn't even spoken. "I think Brandon's perfect. He's cute, probably the best on the team, he's tall, dark and handsome. I just hope he's packing or else I'ma be really disappointed."
I had the grace not to let my mouth fall open in shock. I couldn't believe Troiann had said that. Apparently, neither could the rest of the Ballas. We all stared at her and she seemed oblivious as she looked at her tray.
"Shit, I forgot my milk. Be right back." Troiann stood from the table, ignoring the glare Marcus was shooting her.
Marcus sat watching Troiann head to the line, burning a hole in her back. The rage on his face and the fact that his leg was bouncing had me worried what was about to happen.
Five seconds went by before he shot up from the table and went after her.
We all turned and watched as Marcus grabbed Troiann by her arm and led her from the cafeteria.
Tremaine whistled. "They about to fuck."
"Do you think this means they're together?" I asked.
Chris shook his head. "Nah, but they close."
"He likes her, he's just letting his ego get in the way," DeAndre said. "I gotta hand it to Troy; I never saw her pulling the plug."
Five minutes went by and soon ten and then fifteen. By the time lunch was over there was no sign of either Troiann or Marcus. It was safe to assume that they'd ditched together.
Loraine was out getting takeout when I got home and discovered my father by himself in the den. I had been over DeAndre's house watching a couple of movies and avoiding Troiann due to his suggestions. He said I should give Troiann space so she could spend some time with her father or with Marcus hashing things out. I was glued to my phone but there hadn't been a call all afternoon.
"You been dancing?" my father asked from behind his paper.
I frowned. Was that all he cared about? Me not dancing and being thick and healthy? Wasn't it my body and choice to make?
Placing a hand on my flat stomach, I resisted the urge to shed a tear. "No, I was with DeAndre. We hung out."
"He seems nice and respectable." My father snuck a peek from behind his paper and smiled at me. Also, he took me by surprise. With his tattoos and status, I was surprised my father wasn't deeming DeAndre unfit to be my friend.
"Yeah." I tugged on the bracelets on my wrist. "So Friday is the talent show, you coming?"
My father let out a frustrated breath. "What time?"
"Just the last two periods of the day. Around one o'clock."
"I'll be sure to let Lori know."
At least he was coming. "Thanks, Dad."
"Mmm-hmm." He was lost in the news and so I left the room.
My cell phone rang on the way up to my room and I was elated to see it was Troiann calling.
"Hey," I answered as I stepped into my room and went and sat on my bed. "What's up?"
Troiann sighed over on her end. "Nothing. Did I miss anything in school?"
Were we really going to beat around the bush? "No. I've got your stuff by the way."
"Thanks, you're a doll."
"Troy, where are you?"
There was a pause before she answered. "In Marcus's bed."
"Oh."
She chuckled. "Don't worry. He's downstairs getting some water."
"Troy—"
"Am I crazy?" she came out and asked. "I told him I was done and he says he doesn't want to be done. I don't wanna fall in love, Cree. I don't want to give him all of me and get hurt like those other girls. I don't wanna end up like my mom and Howard."
Her vulnerability pulled at my heart. "Then talk to him. Either you're all in together or you're out."
"I don't think he's willing to accept being out. He wants me to be his and no one else's."
"Well then that has to be a mutual thing then."
Troiann was quiet and after years of knowing her I knew she was fighting back being emotional and crying.
"Troy?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm here if you need me, always, no matter what."
"Cree?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry I never told you about Marcus, and I tricked you into going to After Hours," Troiann said.
It had been messed up, but I couldn't hate her for it. "It wasn't right, but I forgive you."
"I hated the Ballas like you, and then I bumped into Marcus and he wouldn't let me be. One thing led to another and the next thing I know we're hooking up on the low. It wasn't about feelings, just a physical thing. He's only the second boy I've ever been with and it feels way better and real than with Tony. I get scared sometimes that it'll get deep and I'll fall for his shit."
"Don't be, just talk to him."
"C-can we lie like this, just for a little while?"
"Yeah, whatever you want."
I lay down with my phone to my ear and I listened to her breathing, being there for her for as long as she needed me to be.