December 16th 2000.
Tampa, Florida.
I sighed and dropped my clipboard onto the desk. "That's still not right Kiara! Those are not the same colors as we had on stage last night" I called out up to lighting booth. Kiara nodded and ducked back down into the booth, fiddling with the settings. "Em!" he stopped joking around with the guys at the sound of my authoritative 'work mode' voice. "Can you walk into the center stage please?"
He comically saluted me and marched in rigid steps onto the stage. "Yes Ma'am!"
"Do you see how dark that is Kiara? You can't even see him!"
"How about now?" The lighting changed back to the lighter blue it usually was and revealed the ridiculous faces Marshall was making at me, which made Proof and Denaun burst out laughing.
"Thank you". I sent her a thumbs up and turned back around to check we were meeting the time schedule I'd set. We only had a few more days left on the tour till we all went on Christmas break and we were currently stationed in Tampa, Florida. So far this was my favorite tour I'd ever been on. The idea of rock and rap had come together so fluidly and created an amazing show that the fans went wild for. The feedback had been all positive which was a good boost to my ego considering I was responsible for almost every detail. However, we were all collectively very tired and my patience was wearing extremely thin with my staff. I didn't have room for any errors and they knew that. I jumped slightly at the feel of Marshall's arms snaking around my waist as he kissed my neck sweetly.
I softly giggled as he nibbled at my ear. "Marshall we're in public".
"So? Let all these people know" he murmured into my hair whilst his hands gripped my thighs.
"Come on". I pushed him away with a smile and he sat on the edge of the desk I was working at.
"So how's it going boss?" He cheekily smiled at me, earning an eye roll. He knew how much I hated being called that by him, so he used it at every opportunity to wind me up.
"Pretty much perfect. Better if Kiara would do her damn job right..." I muttered letting the work perfectionist get the better of me. He laughed and picked up the piece of paper I was looking at, quickly skimming it over before getting bored and placing it back down. "Speaking of, I'm going out with some of the crew members tonight okay? Marshall?" His nose was buried deep into his phone as he texted what looked like Kim back.
"What?"
"I'm going out tonight".
He nodded absentmindedly. "Uh yeah, all good. I gotta go call Kim".
"Everything alright?" I asked, concern etched over my face. Kim was finding it difficult at the moment caring for the girls all by herself which meant Marshall was checking up on her often, which I thought was amazing. They needed to support each other and I was overjoyed that they were finally in a place where that was even possible.
"Yeah everything's fine. I'll see ya later". He quickly pecked my cheek and walked off in the direction of the dressing rooms, immediately calling Kim.
*****
Today had been long and stressful. Marshall was in a bad mood after his phone call with Kim as she was upset, which put me in an incredibly awkward situation. Not only did I have to work but I also had to check up on Marshall and stop him from worrying about Kim and the girls too much. We just had to get through these last couple of shows and everything would be fine again, at least that's what I tried to tell him.
"What you getting all dressed up for?" Marshall asked through a yawn as he chucked his hat across the room and threw him self onto the bed. Proof had told me he really struggled with the performance tonight, and I didn't blame him. It had been a tiresome few weeks.
I sighed and continued to apply the finishing touches of my makeup. "I told you this morning remember? Me and the crew are going out tonight".
Marshall let out a single tired laugh. "Sure".
"What do you mean 'sure'?"
"I mean, you ain't going out" he stated simply. I glared at him through the mirror, watching as he slowly sat up to look at me.
"And why not?"
"Cause' this is my first free night in forever, and I wanna spend time with you" he spoke slowly as if it was stupid of me to not understand him and suddenly drop everything.
"Well sorry, but I've made plans and I'm sticking with them. Maybe if you'd told me this morning I would've been free". I dropped my mascara back onto the desk suddenly feeling very keen to leave our hotel room.
"Are you being serious right now?" He stood up and made his way over to me, irritation laced heavily in his voice.
"Very".
"Cassie you ain't going out, you don't even know this city" he argued, hovering behind me.
"Yes I am".
"No, you're not".
Grabbing my bag I slipped past him and made my way to the door. "Don't bother calling, I won't answer". With that I shut the door on his very angry face and walked over to Zoey's room, wrapping my knuckles loudly against the white wood. I heard a slight scuffle and then was greeted by her cheery face with everyone else already in her room.
"Cassie!" She beamed her model worthy smile and pulled me into one of her hugs that I received often. It was clear she had already had a few pre-drinks, ramping up her already enthusiastic personality.
"Hey Zoe".
"Oh no, you sound flat". We walked into her room arm in arm with her concerned eyes, that were having trouble focusing, trained on me.
"Nothing a night out won't solve" I squeezed her arm to assure her I was fine. "Where are we headed guys?" I addressed the tight knit group which consisted of my four favorite crew members- Isaiah, Freddie, Kiara and of course Zoey.
"We were going to go to Serpent but their liquor license wasn't renewed so we're headed to Rendezvous instead" Kiara my head lighting technician replied.
"Sounds good to me, let's go now" I suggested, anxiously staring at the door, worried that Marshall might come look for me and start shit.
An hour later I was vibing to the club's bass heavy music trying my best to enjoy my friends company, but no matter how hard I tried, an uncomfortable reminder of before was niggling in the back of my mind. As I vacantly looked around the room I caught Freddie's eye and forced myself to return his smile, but even he could tell it was fake. He tilted his head to me questioningly and I just mouthed a 'I'm tired' to cover up. The tiff me and Marshall had had really unsettled me- I hated that controlling, jealous side of him. Freddie leant over to Isaiah, whispered something in his ear and they switched seats so he was directly beside me.
"Come on, tell me".
"Tell you what?" I fumbled around with the straw in my drink to keep my hands occupied.
"Just tell me Cassie. I'm a good listener". Even though Freddie and I had only recently begun working together he was easy to get along with and it was hard to understand why so many girls found him charming.
"My...boyfriend made a big fuss out of me going out tonight without him, even though I'd told him earlier".
"And?" he pressed.
I let out a heavy sigh and rested back into the seat "He was just being very controlling about it and it's not the first time he's been like that either. Quite frankly, he was being a dick and I'm sick of it".
"He needs to grow up".
"Freddie..." I warned. It was one thing for me to complain about him, but for whatever reason when someone else did it I immediately felt protective of him.
"No, he really needs to grow up" Freddie insisted placing a friendly hand on top of mine. I slowly and carefully removed my hand from underneath his, to not offend him. I suddenly became aware of our close proximity, urging me to move back from him.
"He won't though".
"Then keep doing what your doing and go out regardless, he'll eventually get the message and won't have a choice but to get over it".
"I guess you're right" I smiled at him and he smiled his equally charming one back at me. Looking over his shoulder I caught Kiara's eyes burning onto us, a slight smirk playing at her lips. It disappeared as quick as it had appeared.
"I always am" he laughed.
"Excuse me, I just need to use the bathroom". He nodded and moved aside for me to exit our group's private booth. As I left, Kiara dodged my eyes and quickly engaged herself in a conversation with a very tipsy Zoey. I touched up my makeup and hair in the bathroom and then slipped out to the bar to order another drink. "Can I just get a vodka and coke please?" A minute later my drink appeared and I happily sipped it by myself, trying to collect my thoughts. I turned around too quickly and bumped into someone's back nearly sloshing my drink all over them. "I am so sorry!" The man slowly turned, revealing an annoyed Marshall. "Marshall?" Had I not bumped into him I never would have recognized him. He had a beanie pushed down low over his face covering his signature platinum blonde and a dark hoodie covering his recognizable tattoos.
"I've been looking for you for ages" Marshall grumbled lowly, turning himself into me and away from everyone else.
"What the hell are you here for?"
He looked taken aback, obviously not expecting my reaction. "Who are you talking to like that?" Marshall spat earning a few stares from fellow bar patrons.
"You better tell me why the fuck you're here before I lose my goddamn mind" I warned through clenched teeth. Rage surged through my body making me ball my fists as I begged myself to stay in control and not jump to any conclusions. This alcohol was not doing me any favors right now.
"What I can't go out too?" He lightly grabbed my arm and pulled me over to a more secluded area in the corner, away from the stares we were receiving.
"But why are you at this club?" I asked suspiciously. Everything about my demeanor right now was hostile, I was ready to pounce at any second.
"You told me you were coming here and I thought I'd meet up with you" he shrugged and casually leant against the wall. We looked like fire and ice right now, and no good ever occurred when they collided.
"But why did you feel the need to come?"
"Because I-"
"Wait" I interrupted, squeezing my eyes shut as I tried to retrace my steps. "I...I didn't tell you I was c-coming here" I stuttered out. The anger within me making me incapable of speaking properly.
A brief look of worry flashed across his face so quickly it was almost undetectable to the human eye. But I picked up on it. He had hesitated and I knew I'd caught him. "You told me this morning".
"No I didn't, we changed plans last minute".
"You told me-"
"How do you know I'm here Marshall?" I spat.
"I just told you! You-"
"How do you know!?" I bellowed, reaching my breaking point. Just in my line of vision I could see Freddie stand up at the commotion I was causing, only to be pulled right back down by Kiara.
"Look, I thought it would be a good idea for my own safety to-" he scratched the back of his neck and his eyes darted to the floor, "have people keep me updated on you".
"I-I don't understand" I stumbled trying to piece all of this mess together. "What exactly do you mean?"
He sighed and pushed himself away from the wall. "I get someone to text me what you're up to when you're out and where you are".
I shook my head in denial and discarded my drink onto the table next to us, worried I might drop it with my trembling hands. "You've been spying on me?" I whispered.
He stepped forward to me and attempted to grab my hands to calm me. "No not like that-".
"Who? Who's been telling you? Huh?" My voice reached the same booming level again.I shoved him on his chest so his hands weren't touching me. I couldn't stand being in his presence right now but I needed answers.
"Kiara" he mumbled snatching his beanie off and running his hands through his hair.
"Kiara!?" I screamed turning round to where my 'friends' were sitting. Kiara's face drained of color as I stared at her. My chest heaved with anger. That bitch.
"Cassie-" Marshall touched my shoulder.
"Get the fuck off me!" I shrieked in his face. My voice pierced through the loud club and gathered even more attention. People were loving me go absolutely ballistic on someone who they suspected was Eminem. "What the hell is wrong with you!"
"What the hell is wrong with me? The only reason I came down here in the first damn place is 'cause Kiara told me you were all over another guy!" As he said that Freddie slowly approached us, analyzing our hostile stances. He must of been the 'other guy' Kiara told him about.
"Excuse me? I haven't even talked to anyone but my group tonight! I was talking to Freddie!" I jabbed my thumb at him. His eyebrows raised in surprise as he realized he was one of the reasons for our argument.
"You alright Cassie?" he wearily asked, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. What was with people touching me when I was angry?
"Get your hands off my girl" Marshall warned- well, growled. Freddie held his hands up innocently and moved back ever so slightly.
"No I'm not alright" I scowled at Marshall. "But I will be when he gets the fuck away from me".
"I ain't leaving".
"Come on bro, you heard her. It's time for you to go". Marshall's face turned stone cold and his eyes zeroed in on Freddie. He took a step forward and aggressively stood in his way so I couldn't see Freddie any longer.
"Who the fuck do you think your talking to, bro?" His fists clenched tightly at his side and I knew if Freddie said just one more thing to him, he would get socked right in the face.
"Marshall" I shouted loudly to grab his attention. He flicked me a glance over his shoulder and took a step back from Freddie. "Leave. Now". He looked absolutely defeated as those words left my mouth. For a second there I think he believed I was going to surrender and go with him to avoid a bar brawl. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. I turned away from him and he pushed past me, shielding his face from the public. Not that it mattered, it was impossible to ignore our very public fight. He paused like he was going to turn back and say something but he continued to walk out. I could only breathe when he was no longer in my sight. I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning against the wall for support. A pair of hands touched my shoulders for the umpteenth time tonight and I flinched at the feel. "Freddie stop fucking touching me, you're not my boyfriend" I snapped. Although, I wasn't even sure I had a boyfriend anymore- or that I wanted one. I stormed over to our booth where Kiara was, with only one thing on my mind. Her head was hung low in regret but shot up as soon as I spoke "Kiara". She looked fearfully at me, her face still as pale as a corpse making her only now apparent beady eyes stand out. "Don't bother coming in to work tomorrow".
"Cassie I'm sorry please don't-" she pleaded.
"You're fired".
"I never knew that he would-"
I held up my hand to stop her from making a weak excuse. "You'll be on the first flight back home tomorrow". She stared at me, blinking dully as if she were trying to comprehend what I was saying. Her eyes clouded with tears and she nodded, accepting my decision. I turned to Isaiah and Zoey who were completely lost with what was going on, watching on in horror. "Isaiah make sure Zoey gets back to the hotel safely please".
"No way!" Zoey slurred, stumbling to stand up to me. "I'm coming with you".
I sighed wanting nothing more than to be alone, but realized I couldn't go back to my own room where Marshall would be waiting. "Okay fine, let's go".
*****
We made it back to her room and I was left alone to sadly stew in my thoughts whilst Zoey took a shower to sober up. I thought about pouring myself a sizeable glass of red wine, my favorite self-pity drink, but instead decided on drinking straight from the bottle. I stood in the dark kitchen area drinking in peace when I was startled by a sharp knock on the door. 'Please don't be Marshall' I silently prayed, not daring to move an inch. Another knock. I tiptoed over to the door and peered through the peephole to see Proof pacing slightly, waiting for me to open the door. I took a deep breath and cautiously opened the door, hoping this wasn't some trick where Marshall was waiting right around the corner.
"Cassie" he breathed in relief.
"Proof?" I asked tiredly.
"What the hell is going on?" He rushed past me.
"Why what happened?" I asked in a concerned tone, worried that Marshall may had done something stupid.
"He came into my room completely off his rocker shouting about you and some chick named Karli?"
"Kiara".
"Yeah Kiara. He kicked a bunch of shit over and then he just left. I couldn't figure out what he was talking about so please fill me in?" His eyes darted back and forth between the half empty bottle of wine and my distressed face.
"I'm sure you know. He tells you everything".
"No I really don't". I heard Zoey get out of the shower, humming to herself and enter the bedroom.
"Whisper. I don't want Zoey to know". He nodded and stared at me expectantly waiting for me to continue. "So you don't know Marshall's been spying on me? Watching my every move?"
He screwed up his face in confusion and ran his hands over his face in a stressed manner. "What are you talking about?"
I quickly debriefed him on all the details, including the fight we'd had before I'd left for the club. As I spoke I remembered and told him of the first instance, that I knew of, that Marshall had 'spied' on me. It was when I was at Lil' Kim's party and he just 'happened' to know my whereabouts. Non-surprisingly, Kiara was also at that party that night. I must admit, it was very satisfying to watch Proof's facial expressions transform as I revealed more details. He wasn't pleased. "So yeah. That's what happened".
"Man" he sighed. "Cassie, I'm sorry girl. You don't deserve this". He brought me into a friendly hug and tightly squeezed me.
"I know it's weird for you to hear all this, because he's your best-friend".
"Nah, you're one of my best friend's too and I'll stick up for you. He's done wrong".
I weakly smiled "Thank you".
"Now I'm going to go find that dickhead and talk some sense into him okay?" He patted me on the arm and made his way over to the door. "Don't drink too much, it won't make you feel better".
I nodded but as soon as he left and closed the door I downed the rest of the wine and crawled into bed where Zoey was already fast asleep. I wasn't even able to figure out if I was angry or sad. All I knew was I that I felt betrayed and that everything between us had been a lie.
*****
I stirred awake and lay peacefully for a moment, aside from my pounding headache. Proof was right about not drinking too much. I felt dreadful, but not because of the wine. Memories of last night flooded back and I realized I was in Zoey's bed, not mine. As I glumly pulled my self out of bed, still in last nights clothes, Zoey grumbled and shifted further into the covers. "Zoey" I whispered. "Can I borrow some clothes for today?"
"Sure hunny take what you need" she rubbed her eyes and let out a hefty yawn. "Do you mind if I go back to sleep?" she turned her head to the clock seeing it wasn't even 7.00 am yet.
"Yeah no problem. I'll see you later, I have some things I need to do". I went to the bathroom and dressed myself in her black jeans and black hoodie, trying to be as understated as possible. I scraped my hair back into a tight bun and prodded at my skin. I looked awful. I'd hardly slept a wink and it was showing in my dull appearance. I grabbed an apple from the kitchen and bolted out of the apartment, thinking Marshall wouldn't even be awake yet. Boy was I wrong. Marshall sat on the floor in the corridor, slumped against the wall, his face buried in his knees. Had he really stayed out here all night? I didn't hear him knock once. Regardless of my attempts to remain quiet he shot awake as soon as I shut the door. We stared motionless at each other, neither of us speaking a word. I shook my head and quickly began walking away from him, stuffing my hands in my pockets.
"Cassie please wait" he called from behind me. I could hear his heavy footsteps, right next to me but I didn't dare look up or stop my fast feet. I furiously pushed the elevator button but I saw it had 14 levels to go before it stopped on this floor.
"Did you sleep out there all night?"
"After I came back from Proof's, yeah of course I did. I need to talk to you" he came closer to me. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. Typical. Preferring to die over enduring a 14 floor level worth awkward silence, I flung the staircase door open and hopped down the steps two at a time. "Baby wait-".
"I'm not your baby".
He finally caught me and grabbed my wrist, stopping me, but I kept my back to him. "What do you mean by that?" He was hurt and I could hear it so clearly. The way his voice wavered almost raised sympathy for him within myself but I immediately shut down those thoughts. He'd brought this upon himself.
"I mean I'm not your baby right now, so leave me alone and get away from me!" I tugged my hand free and began flying down the stairs once again.
"Please just let me explain Cass, I promise it's not as bad as it sounds".
"Oh it's not? So you didn't have people watching my every move and reporting back to you like little weasels?" I yelled. I spun around as he didn't reply to see he was only three steps behind me. I could feel the tears prickling at my eyes but I willed myself to not cry, at least not in front of him. "You are just like him".
"I'm not like him" his voice suddenly became soft. Like he was trying to convince not only me but himself too. I scoffed and burst through the door into the lobby. It was quiet due to the early hours so I had no problem running right through it onto the street. "Tell me what I can do" Marshall pleaded, staying back under the cover of the hotel and not into the light for the whole street to see him.
I briskly walked over to one of the hotel's available cars. "Give me space". With that I jumped into the car and told the driver where to go. I didn't look back, knowing that if I did, I would crumble.
*****
Author's Note: Woo, that was intense! I'm so glad to be posting again and I absolutely love this chapter. It came out exactly how I wanted, so I hope you love it too! What do you think about what Marshall did? Is he totally in the wrong, or does he have valid reasons and Cassie should forgive him? I thought I'd start including the dates at the top, so you can see how much time has elapsed. I've gone back and done it to all of the chapters so you guys can check that out too. Thanks for reading and being patient with me. Please vote and comment! Love you all! x