The young girl stumbled slightly, tripping over the nightgown too long for her short body into the kitchen. She looked up with wide eyes at her father, sitting hunched over the heavy brown table taller than her, surrounded by papers she couldn't read. They shared the same raven hair, and the same forest green eyes. There was a time when the young girl was proud of what she shared with that man, and as a young clueless four-year-old, there was nothing she loved more than the man who tormented her.
"Where's Mommy? I can't see Mommy" she claimed to the man, leaning up to grab at the edge of the wooden table. It was another second before her hands were yanked from the edge of the table and pushed, sending the young girl tumbling to the linoleum floor
"Fuck sakes, you useless child. Your mother has been dead for two months! Get it through you're fucking skull! She's not coming back!" her father yelled at the young child, making her whimper, pulling back to protect herself.
"She's only four years old!-" she turned her small head, watching twelve-year-old Clay hurry through the kitchen door "Don't speak like that to her!" the boy leaned down, picking up his younger sister by under her arms, holding her tightly against him "She doesn't understand what you're saying, she can't help it"
"And all of the sudden you're the fucking child expert Clay? Don't make me laugh" their feather sneered "Get that fucking monstrosity out of here" he pointed at the girl in her brother's arms, making her hick, her tears start to fall from her eyes from the sight of his menacing face. She was terrified of him. Clay did what he was told, taking the young girl up the stairs of a once happy family home. He pushed open the door, turning on the light to the young girl's bedroom.
"It's 2 AM Lyn, you have to go to bed" the boy claimed, placing his sister on the bed and pulling back the purple covers. The young girl laid down as she was told, placing her head down on the soft pillow.
"Is Mommy going to give me a goodnight kiss?" the young girl asked her brother, who sighed heavily, pulling up the covers to cover her frame.
"Of course she is, but you won't be able to see it, or feel it" he responded, leaning down to push the dark hair from the young girls' eyes.
"When is Mommy coming back from the white room?"
"Blake-" Clay leaned over her on the bed slightly "Mommy is gone, and she's not coming back" The young girl didn't want to believe it, she couldn't believe it. Everyone had been repeatedly telling her that her mother was gone, but it wasn't true, she knew so, they were all lying to her, and it just made her so angry.
"But, in the white room, Mommy said she'd always be with me!" the young girl claimed, leaning up in the bed. "She's not gone, she said she'd always be there!"
"She meant in spirit Blake!" Clay responded with frustration, rubbing his eyes. It didn't help in the grieving that his younger sister kept bringing up their mother, in fact, it just angered him. "Mom will always be with you in spirit Blake, but she's dead! She doesn't exist in this world anymore!" his voice rose at the young girl
"You're wrong, she's here! Mommy is here!" the girl yelled back with anger.
"Will you two be quiet?!" the voice of their father boomed from down the stairs.
"Maybe if you were a good parent! We'd be quiet!" Clay yelled back, facing the open bedroom door. And suddenly, what both of them dreaded more than anything, was the sound of a man's heavy boots heading up the stairs.
"Shit" the young boy turned quickly "Blake, get into the closet" he grabbed the young girl by the arm, pulling her from under the covers,
"He's coming! Hurry Blake!" the young girl stumbled, being pulled by her brother across the room. She watched as he opened the closet door, gripping her wrist tighter and pulling her to get inside. The young girl collapsed to the carpet of the dark closet, looking up at the panicked sight of her brother.
"What is Daddy going to do?" she asked
"Do what I say, Blake, promise?" she nodded "Plug you're ears and shut your eyes as tight as you can, can you do that?"
"Yes"
"Good, and whatever you do, don't open the door" with that, Clay shut the door, and Blake could hear the click of the lock put into place. She shut her eyes tightly and plugged her ears with her fingers, but that wasn't enough to stop the sound of them yelling at one another, the punches, when her brother was thrown against walls and into furniture, repeatedly kicked as he cried in pain. And all the young girl could do was sit there in the pitch-black closet, the only tiny light filtering from the crack at the bottom of the door, trying to stop the noise of agony. And, even at the age of four, Blaske mourned. She knew it was all her fault. When the noise stopped, her heart hit her ribcage a mile a minute, staring at the closed door. All she could hear was the sounds of her brother panting and groaning in pain. She pulled her knees to her chest, hiding her face in them. It was also the moment the young girl realized that if her mother was still alive, she would have stopped this, she wouldn't have kept her children hurting like this. And the moment Blake truly accepted that her mother wouldn't be coming back.
"Where are you Blakelyn?" her eyes snapped open at the sound of his rough, heavy voice.
"Where are you?! You fucking waste!" she could hear his footsteps around the room, knocking over furniture, punching walls. "A good father would never only punish one child when both are at fault!" the man yelled, making more havoc noise. She was so frightened, her body physically shaking. She quickly moved back to the far back of the closet, as far as she could possibly be from that evil man. But, it wasn't enough. When the door swung open, the young girl screamed in fright, tightening in on herself at the sight of the large man standing in the doorway, and her being too powerless to do anything to fight him.
"You know, I never wanted a daughter" the young girl continued to cry at his words "Now, I can finally punish you for being alive"
Blake's eyes opened, staring up at the roof of her bedroom, still under the covers of her bed. Nightmares, pity things. The old therapist she used to attend, the one that diagnosed her with general anxiety, also claimed she suffered from PTSD. But, Blake always wondered why, after all, there were people that have had worse things happen to him than her and they still held strong like unbreakable walls.
But, not her. She was weak, she had always known she was weak, it had been ingrained into her DNA, down to her small, useless stature and her horrible defense skills. Nightmares like those, it just made her hate her father more. His twisted idea of parenting, how much he had beat both of them, leaving them black and blue. But, the very first time was by far the worst, being stuffed into that closet and having his tall, heavy frame in the doorway, giving her no chance of escape from his wrath of pain. But, Clay had it worse. A permanently bent nose from all the times their father had broken it, surgery for his metal kneecaps because after being kicked so many times, his bone ones were nothing more but shards. Emergency surgery multiple times to handle internal bleeding, and literal tears in his insides that left him to die. Luckily the worst that Blake got was a weakness in her left arm from muscle and cartilage damage from it being yanked so hard and getting dislocated so many times. She leaned up slightly, glancing at the clock, and despite it being five AM, got out of bed to get ready for school.
-
"This is the props and costumes list" Mrs. Jame handed her the thin blue duotang. She opened it up, glancing at the pages of character biographies and the recommended outfits for each one, and the necessary props. "The school is giving you permission to use you're next three drama classes to go out and get this stuff"
"Where do I get the money for this?" she asked, lifting her head.
"The school has authorized a prepaid card for you to use with a limit, it's in the duotang. And you must keep all receipts for all the purchases you make, which I will be going through after you're done"
"Does my time to do this include today's class?" she asked
"It sure does, so you better grab your stuff, I'll mark you on the attendance sheet" Mrs. Jame claimed
"Of course"
"What are you ladies talking about?" Blake turned, looking behind her at the sight of Lucian walking down the hall towards them. Mrs. Jame didn't look very impressed at his words.
"Nothing, Mr. Black. I was just informing Miss Collins that she will be spending the next three classes collecting props and costumes" she responded
"All by herself?" he asked, suddenly coming up behind Blake, placing his palms on her shoulders, startling her with the physical contact. "Are you crazy? Letting such a small thing wander around alone? You know, there's been reports of rapists in the area" Lucian claimed with a sickly worried tone, obviously just trying to make an excuse to get out of class. The teacher raised an eyebrow at his claim, looking down at Blake's uncomfortable features, trying to act normal when she felt the opposite.
"Is that so?" the teacher responded, not at all looking impressed.
"Definitely, the world isn't a safe place for little innocents like Blake" he insisted "She'll be eaten alive out there!" Does he really hate class so much that he'd rather spend it with me than go? Besides, Lucian loves drama, he hasn't missed a class all semester. She could feel a stare on her, turning slightly in Lucian's grip towards the lockers and swallowed at the sight of Melody's face. Lucian's powwow, the one he spends more time with than anyone else, doing whatever, whether it was singing together, drama, art, or anything under the sun. And, the blonde looked absolutely livid at the sight in front of her. Blake had never talked to Melody before, nor the other way around, Blake suspected because Blake was way off the 'cool' radar. But, from what she had heard from other people, Melody was';t someone to mess with, definitely when it came to Lucian, who she was convinced was going to become her husband one day. Blake inwardly cursed watching the girl angrily leave down the hall, and was kind of annoyed too, this was all Lucian's fault.
"Besides, Blake doesn't drive. It'll take her forever to go everywhere, especially carrying her stuff with these noodle arms" he grabbed her arm by the wrist, holding it up to make his point even more clear. The teacher sighed heavily, rolling her eyes.
"Fine, Mr. Black, you have permission to accompany Miss Collins"
"It's Ok Mrs. Jame, I'll be fine on my own. I don't want to inconvenience Lucian" Blake claimed quickly, making Mrs. Jame meet the gaze of the girl.
"Believe me, Miss Collins, It's not going to be Lucian of you two that's going to be inconvenienced by this" she leaned up slightly, pulling down her dress.
"I better get a good grade for that comment teacher friend!" Lucian claimed as they watched Mrs. Jame makes her way down the hall.
"I wouldn't want you to miss class because of me Lucian, I know you like drama class" Blake claimed, pulling from his hold and turning to face him with the duotang between her hands.
"Trust me, I want nothing more than to miss class"
"I heard that Mr. Black!" they both looked up at Mrs. Jame, who had yet to turn the corner "I better get a good solo in the play for that!" they watched as she turned out of sight.
"So, I think a good choice is the mall, most of the stuff on these lists is probably easy to find there" Blake turned back, and hadn't noticed Lucian had already taken the duotang from her, looking through the pages.
"But, the mall is too far to go on foot for me" she responded, taking back the duotang, he looked up, meeting her eyes.
"Were taking my truck Blake" he responded
"No, because I'm going alone" she insisted "what's the point in coming with me? You'll like class more"
"I highly doubt that" he retorted "Choosing between going to class and spending time with the girl I have feelings for, is a pretty easy choice" her heart sped up in her chest, but she had to keep reminding herself over and over again that his words weren't what she thought they were, there was no way they could be what she thought they were, there had to be some other explanation. He grabbed the duotang back, grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her towards the lockers. She unlocked hers, pulling out her coat and her backpack.
"You're strange Lucian" she claimed, looking up at him.
"Why is that?" he asked
"Well, you claim to have feelings for me but you still want to spend time with me-" she responded, slipping her coat over her shoulders "you're the only person I know that would ever actually want to spend time with someone that they dislike" she heard him sigh heavily beside her, looking up to see him rubbing his temples with his fingers.
"Oh boy" he muttered
"What's wrong?" she asked, making him lift his head.
"It's nothing, just come with me" he shut the door to her locker, taking her by the wrist towards the front doors, which really just had a moment of deja vu coming over herself from the experience a few days before with him doing the exact same thing. He lead her to his vehicle, getting another chance to laugh at her as she struggled to get up into the cab just like last time, shutting her door, getting in himself, and pulling them out of the parking lot. This situation was even more strange, noticing that since they had spent time together the first time, everyone they were in the same room together, she could feel him staring at her, and that would only be confirmed when she turned her head to see it for herself. It was like the last few days he had done nothing but just stare at her.
"I volunteered to do this, why would I do that if I didn't like you?" he asked, glancing at her.
"Well, I've really stopped trying to figure out why you make such strange decisions" she responded simply "I can never understand you either way" he seemed amused by her answer.