“This is going to be so cool,” Kyra was bouncing in her seat next to me on the plane. “You are the best.” We were on our way to New York and had just taken off from Albuquerque. The passenger on the other side of me, a middle aged man with a laptop case not all the way under the seat in front of him, shot Kyra an annoyed look.
And I wanted to throw up. This was all wrong. Kyra and her issues aside, Jason was paying more for this apartment than I'd paid in three years of rent on my house.
“You okay?” Kyra asked.
I tried to nod, but she wasn't stupid. I shook my head. “I'm nervous.” I forced a smile. “I hear you're a real handful.”
It was meant to be a joke, but she didn't take it that way. The bouncing stopped. Her shoulders slouched. She turned to look out the window. Her hair was done up in two pigtails silhouetted against the powder blue sky outside.
“No,” I said. “Okay, bad joke. I'm sorry.”
She dismissed me with a flick of her chin.
“People pick on you a lot?” I asked.
“What did Jen tell you about me?”
“Not much.”
“Liar.”
“Hey, come on. I don't lie to you. She's worried about you, and she's got you a catering job-”
“And she hates Nate.”
“Nate your boyfriend?”
“Yes.”
“I know nothing about him.”
Kyra turned her head enough that I could see one made up eye, looking me over. “He's your age.”
“What?”
“You really didn't know that?”
“Are you serious? How long have you been together?”
“Two years, almost.”
“That's not legal.”
She smiled, amused. “Ten years from now, it won't matter.”
“You sure you'll make it ten years?”
“Why not? You think I'm too young to know?”
“Well, yeah. The odds are against you.”
“Everyone thinks-”
“Okay, look, I'm not everyone. I was raised by a woman who started out like you, seventeen and in love. When she was your age, her relationship seemed like a fairytale to her and it was all going to work out. Suffice it to say, it didn't. I wouldn't wish my childhood on anyone.”
“I'm not pregnant.”
“Fine, but even if she'd had me three years later, or four, it wouldn't have mattered. She never grew up. Same problems.”
“And my guy isn't married.”
“No, but he's too old to be looking at you.”
“Jason is way older than you and my dad is way older than Jen.”
“Yes, but Jen and I aren't jailbait. We're grown women with degrees who know how to do stuff like pay bills and support ourselves. We're adults. You're not there yet.”
Kyra scowled at me and I realized that I'd said the wrong thing. I wasn't an expert on teenagers, but I was pretty sure they didn't like being called little children. Still, I was being truthful. That had to count for something.
“What's Nate do for a living?” I asked.
“Right now he's a mall security guard.”
“Okay.”
“But he's going to be a doctor.”
“He in med school?”
“No, he's still working on college.”
“Where.”
Her gaze darted from my face to the seat in front of her to the airline magazine tucked into its pouch. “This online program.”
“Stop right there. You're not talking sense. That's fairytale logic, not real world logic. He's not going to be a doctor.”
“Just because I'm young-”
“Youth has nothing to do with it. You've got to have a grip on reality. Doesn't matter how old you are. My mom, when she was Jason's age, still thought Dr. Winters was going to leave his wife for her, and it was just as delusional then as it was when she was your age.”
“Yeah, well, not everyone can date a movie star.”
“Which is good for them. Not that I don't love Jason, I do, but his career and money and all that...” I shook my head. She had me thinking about that dang apartment again.
“You don't like it?”
“It's just... I don't hold it against him. It doesn't matter. It shouldn't.”
Kyra looked me up and down. “You ready for a whole summer with him?”
“Yes.”
“Because here's reality for you. What do you plan to do when you go to New Orleans?”
“I don't know.” I shrugged. “We have to be long distance a lot of the time-”
“He hates that and you know it. You're going to have to get used to his lifestyle eventually, because he's going to want to share it with you. You can't live in your stupid little rental house off Central forever.”
Why not? I wanted to say, but she was right. She'd turned this conversation on me fair and square.
“What are you hiding from, anyway?” she asked.
“I like being a normal person,” I said. “That's all.”
***
Dave met us at the airport, his spiky hair wilting slightly in the heat. I had no idea New York was so hot, or humid, but once we stepped out of the air conditioned interior of La Guardia, we hit a wall of superheated air. I put on my sunglasses, which almost slid off my nose, I was sweating so much. It was disgusting.
“So how was the flight?” he asked.
“It was good,” said Kyra, brightly.
I nodded.
Dave didn't see, because he was tapping away at his phone. “Car will be here in a sec.” He put the phone away and rested his hands on the pushbar of our luggage cart.
My awkward, nauseated feeling edged up a notch when a shiny black limo pulled up to the curb, long and sleek and silent as a cat.
“Oh cool,” said Kyra.
“Yeah, stylin', right?” said Dave. He and the driver loaded some of our bags into the trunk and the rest inside. I climbed in and settled myself as best I could on one of the plush seats while Kyra bounded in next to me. “A fridge?” she said, pulling open the square appliance set into the wall. “And a computer terminal? And a television?”
I just stared out the window and craned my neck upwards to take in the skyscrapers. The limo slid away from the curb and we were underway. I swallowed hard, a rich liquid rising in the corners of my mouth.
***
The apartment was in a highrise. I had no idea where we were in the city. The building had a doorman who helped Dave and the driver with the luggage. All of my attempts to chip in were rebuffed.
They loaded everything onto the elevator and the doorman handed me a set of keys and said, “Fourth from top floor.” He nodded at the other elevator. I wondered if I should tip him, but before I could fumble for my wallet, Dave slipped a folded couple of bills into his hand. This was just not my kind of place.
I followed Kyra into the elevator and up to our floor. Each apartment on this level had a pristine white door, gleaming brass knocker, and peephole. Our door was already open and Dave had moved our suitcases from the other elevator into the sitting room.
Much to my relief, the apartment was small. The sitting room barely had enough room for the three of us and the luggage; the overstuffed couch and chair hogged the rest of the floorspace. There was a tiny kitchenette and then two bedrooms with double beds. Mine had an en suite bathroom, Kyra had access to another bathroom off the sitting room. It looked just like the virtual tour Jason had emailed.
“You all right?” said Dave. He was looking right at me.
“Yeah,” I said. “This is great. Thanks.”
Kyra went to open the windows and took a deep breath of smoggy, city air.
“Okay,” said Dave, “well, just call me if you need anything. Kyra, I'll pick you up in the morning.”
“Yeah, thanks,” she said.
He left with another unsure glance in my direction. Once the door shut, I sat down on the couch, my head in my hands.
“What's wrong?” said Kyra. “Isn't this cool?”
“It's very nice. Way too nice.”
“What do you mean, too nice?”
“Nothing.” I got up. “I'm going to lay down for a while, all right? I'm tired.”
***
A knock on the door woke me up. The light that diffused through the window shade was dim and dusky. The clock said it was seven pm. I sat up. “Yeah?”
Jason stuck his head in. “Hey.”
“Hi.” I rubbed my eyes.
He came and sat down on the bed, the mattress tilting under his weight. “This place okay?” He asked.
“It's great.”
“I know it's more than you want, but I wanted you close and Kyra needs her own space and it isn't real expensive for the area-”
“Jas, you were right. I'm not going to complain about this amazing apartment. I don't want to argue.”
“I've really made you uncomfortable, haven't I?”
“Did Kyra say something?”
He didn't answer that, just kicked off his shoes and lay down next to me.
I put an arm over him and rested my head on his shoulder. He hugged me around the waist. “It's all me,” I said. “I have issues. My mother still doesn't know I'm here, because I don't really know how to explain it to her.”
“She wouldn't approve?”
“She'd totally approve. She'd think it was the most romantic thing ever.” I rubbed my cheek against the smooth cotton of his t-shirt. Even now, the image of my mother back from one of her spa days, her eyes glowing, made me cringe. She'd always had a hungry look when Dr. Winters bought her things, like she couldn't get enough of it, and to me it seemed so sick.
“You know I don't expect anything in return, right?” He rolled onto his side so we were facing each other. I propped myself up on one elbow as he stroked my cheek. “I'm glad you tell me how you feel, and I do get it, okay?”
“I am grateful.”
“If I wanted to buy you off I'd, I dunno, give you a big gift certificate to Amazon or something.”
I laughed.
“I just need to have you close. The more time I spend with you, the more I want.”
I felt the same, only having him here, on my bed, that was different. This would be our private space, now, with Kyra in the picture. It could get pretty cozy. I'd been attracted to all my boyfriends, but none of the others had had personal stylists or those unreal, blue eyes.
“What?” he said. He looked me right in the eye.
“Nothing.”
“No, c'mon, what?”
“I didn't go for my run today.”
“Yeah, about that. I did get you a gym membership too. I know you didn't want it-”
I really didn't want to fight right then. “Fine. We can spend more time together that way.”
“You want to get dinner? Though I'll warn you, I'm paying for that too.”
I punched him lightly in the chest. “Okay.”
Kyra walked past my door, talking on the phone in a low voice.
“It's the guy,” said Jason.
“Nate?”
“Whatever his name is.”
“She's not going to get over him in half a day,” I told him.