Chapter Twenty- Seven: Stupid Building, stupid street!
It was fiercely cold outside and in my all stupid impulsiveness, I totally forgot to change before making this stupid hasty and foolish decision. Apparently, I was in my Sponge-Bob pyjamas and spaghetti strap short top which I'd topped with my coat warm enough to keep me from freezing.
I watched my disheveled hair were made in messy ponytail on top of my head looking ridiculous on me, which I untied, running a hand through them- settling them in a way to make them a little sexy. Just thinking about him made my cheek blush.
Smiling-- more like definitely blushing to myself I shook my head at myself and nervously licked my dry lips and climbed out of the car, colliding with the frigidness of this silent night.
I heaved a deep sigh and closed my eyes. 'I can do this.' I chanted in my head over and over. I took one last deep breath and opened my eyes. Before I started perpetually knocking on his door-- knowing he would be sound asleep and wouldn't listen to my few petty knocks with almost shaking fingers-- random what ifs passed through my mind. What if he isn't interested in me THAT way? What if he'll stop being friends with me after my confession? What if he'll start to hate me again?
Jeez!
I needed to stop.
I continued to make my finger joints soar, as I knocked on his door.
God! The guy sleeps like a rock.
After few seconds which seemed to me like hours in the middle of freezing night along with my uncontrollably loudly beating heart, I heard a loud groan-- which immediately brought a smile to my face. God! Even his groaning makes me smile.
I remember how his groans use to irritate the shit out of me and all I wanted to do was to hit him hard. But, now... they're like light in my darkness.
Shit! That was absolutely the cheesiest thing I've ever thought.
'I'm entirely and completely turned into a freak!' Thank you so much Mister Nobody.'
My cheeks were on fire. My heart was thudding erratically, a ripples of shivers ran up and down my spine, and something funny was happening to my stomach. Everything was happening at once.
I was jittery and trembling a little. Not sure if it was cold or the sensation I was feeling.
The door opened and I met utterly surprised chocolate brown orbs, with a deep frown on his face- not that I expected a smile. But, I could see his mouth just a little agape, as he continued staring at me as if he just saw a terrifying scary ghost or something.
Though who could blame this poor kid. Have you friking seen me right now?
Thankgod, he hadn't yet ran for hills!
I sheepishly smiled at him, as he took a step out towards me. I noticed, his hair were almost disheveled, but he looked tempting to me. I wanted to feel his messed up hair with my fingertips-- just like in that other night dream-- and I almost tripped.
"Careful." His hand on my elbow helped me stable and his breathtaking eyes pierced into my soul. Damn! My heart took the higher road.
"S-sorry." Jeez! When did I started to stutter?
I shook my head at myself, clearing my voice as I spoke again with confident, "Sorry. I am not drunk. Promise." I told, knowing what was running through in his head. His eyes usually gave him away. I liked how his eyes slightly became smaller whenever he focused on thinking very hard.
He nodded, still confused.
I took a second and checked him out. 'Can't blame the girl for doing so'. He was clad in dark gray tight t-shirt and black pj's. His eyes were a little squinted in the first few seconds- which only meant one thing, I had unquestionably woken up a sleeping beauty.
"Reyn—"
No more talking. Before he could attack me with his whats and whys, I pressed myself to him and his body visibly stiffened with the physical contact. But, I cared less. I needed this more than anything. He smelled like lemon-- he must've changed his soap. I blushed, inhaling him in. I just loved how his body pressed against me felt. If he'd been any other guy... I wasn't sure I would be pressing myself like that. But, this was Nobody. My Nobody.
I brought my arms up to knot at the back of his neck- still hugging him. He wasn't though. But, I wasn't surprised. It's who he is. Always resisting the urges to be near me. I don't really get the whole thing as to why he hadn't yet kissed me. Why?
So much has changed in the past few months. I couldn't believe this but, I'm undoubtedly Falling for Mister Nobody <3
I pulled away just enough to look in his eyes. He was definitely gobsmacked. His beautiful brown eyes was wide, as he stared down at me. I wanted to laugh at his countenance but, didn't-- considering how weak I felt in front of him-- against his body. My legs turned all Jello when a small smirk came on his perfect pink so-damn-kissable lips and I took some support to stand still through my hands on him-- clutching the handful of his t-shirt.
My voice came just above a whisper. "Thank you, Evan. Thank you so much for talking to Martin. He'd been freaking out and none of us knew what to do. You made my best friend smile again." I hugged him again, when I couldn't seem to find in myself to stand while looking in those chocolate-y eyes of his.
Almost immediately, his arms came around me and I took the breath, I didn't know I was holding inside. His strong and warm arms tightly held me in place, probably realizing the shiver I felt-- which in truth wasn't from the cold but, I wasn't going to tell him that. My heart was thudding almost insanely.
I took another deep breath to calm my nerves. He didn't speak a word so, I knew he was giving me a moment to continue. " You have no friking idea what you'd done for me-- us. Kim said to tell you how grateful she is for it." I nuzzled into the crook of his neck, while I felt him shiver. I smiled. "If you hadn't talked to Martin I-- I had no idea as to how to tell my best friend that everything would be okay. Really, Evan thank you..." I said, pulling slightly back and looking right in those eyes as sternly as I could, loosing myself in them. Ignoring the fact that his name from my mouth felt as if I just spoke Spanish or something. I wasn't yet used to calling him by his real name.
And then, something happened which I never thought in my whole life would happen, giving me chills and I bet it wasn't the cold air anymore. It was all him. My Nobody.
I didn't know if I could blush more than I already was. But, I bet I did.
He wrapped his arms around me even more tightly and pressed his so damn friking soft yet warm lips to my cold forehead. My heart skipped a beat and I wouldn't help the goofy grin and frigging intense heat which spread from my neck to my cheeks.
With a slight shake of his head and a wide grin— which I could tell he was trying to hide, on his perfect kissable lips, spoke, "You know you're absolutely crazy, Reynold. And much to my annoyance, unbearably adorable too." His hoarse voice made me grin even more.
Wait?
Adorable?
Okay! I'm officially ready to die now!!
"Totally." I played cool. God! It was more like breathless sigh. Shit!
A smirk formed on his perfect lips and he cupped my cheeks, slightly chuckling, as if he knew what his touch, his words, and his damn closeness was doing to me.
Instead of acknowledging that fact and giving me a snarky comment on it, he whispered, "You're freezing." And started to rub his amazingly warm palms on my cheeks-- friking not knowing how his touch was really effecting me.
"It's damn freezing outside. You could've at least waited for the morning to tell me this. You're really cold." He spoke, staring in my eyes, as he brought his hands down and trapped mine in his. He brought them close to his lips and started to blow his warm breath on my cold hands and trust me he definitely felt the shiver that almost made me jump.
I shook my head, nibbling on my lower lip. He watched me do it and I felt his hands-- tightening around mine just enough for me to notice. I laughed, inwardly. I had an effect on him. I had an effect on Mister Nobody. Now, how cool is that?
The sudden urge to run my fingers in his hair blossomed in my heart again but, I somehow, managed to keep my hands in his warm ones while he blew warm breath on my skin. I didn't know I had a thing for hair until now. But, it was totally for his hair only.
"You've a thing for sponge-bob?" He asked, snapping me out of his Nobody-fantasy world. I chuckled, looking down at my bottoms.
He softly laughed and I looked back at him. "Maybe," I shrugged one shoulder, pouting and he laughed hard.
I swallowed the lump on hearing his laugh so close to my ears. It was magical.
A minute of two later,
"You okay?" he asked, making me furrow my brows in confusion. He tug me closer to him, almost closing the gap between us. Damn!
I raised one brow in question, definitely not trusting my voice at that moment.
He smiled, small one. "I heard you're having a fight with your parents."
That absolutely brought all of my sane senses back.
I pulled my hands away from his, slightly rubbing them together and watching the slow pink rushing back in my pale hands. I'd taken a step back from his warmth and almost immediately regretted it.
"Uh... how you know that?"
"I'd heard around-- in the school."
That made sense. Everyone must have seem and heard my conversation with my parents today.
I nodded, chewing on my bottom lip, keeping my eyes on my boots.
He took a step towards me and pressed his fingers under my chin, making me tilt up my head to look in his eyes.
He raised his brows, cutely. "You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to."
I nodded after few seconds. I wanted to. Now, how strange was that? I wanted him to know everything about me including everything that had happened with my parents and Marissa.
But, it wasn't the time. I'd came here to tell him something completely different.
I sighed and took his hands in mine. I shivered.
"Evan... I don't know why I have this urge to tell you everything about me. But, not now. You know it's so strange how Justin kept on nudging me to talk about it but, I didn't-- I couldn't.
But, with you-- god! I want to let it all out. I told you half of what was in my heart and you quietly listened like a good friend. You may say you don't care or you don't want me to be friends with you for only-you-know-what-reasons... I know you do care and you're someone I can rely on. I don't know what you are protecting me from but, I--uh... I really li--"
Just then a girly slurry voice interrupted my mind-blowing speech, which left my hands cold and my heartbeat incredibly slow-- making it harder for me to breathe.
That did not just happen!
Please...
"Who's there at the door at 11, Babe? Come b-back to bed, babyyy." Now, I was the one with the horrifying shocking expressions on my face, which he seemed to immediately notice. Instinctively, I pulled back, furrowing in confusion. I took the peak from the half open door behind him.
There!
My heart sunk back, leaving me almost breathless again.
There was a girl on his couch probably naked under his red blanket...
'Ew! I am not ever touching that Blanket, at all!'
'Seriously? That's what you can think of right now?'
'Well, it's better than like feeling a shittiest person on this entire planet who came to tell a guy how she feels about him-- especially when he was pretty much engrossed in his important make-out session with some whore!'
It hurts. More than I ever thought. Tears were already down on my cheeks. I didn't want to cry in front of him. I stopped and wiped off my tears.
'Why do I already hate her? I don't even know her.'
I shouldn't hate her.
Now, I know why he didn't kiss me today or ever.
He has a girlfriend... or I am just not his type.
The powerful urge to cry harder overtook me but, I, god knows how managed to compose myself in front of him. I didn't want to giveaway more than I already have. He doesn't even consider me as a friend and here I was, feeling like he stabbed me in my heart.
I felt my cheeks on fire and I knew it wasn't the fever I had few hours earlier. I looked back at him and he seemed surprised and somewhat baffled. But, it doesn't matter. The hug doesn't matter.... Nothing matters.
Nothing.
I'm a fool.
I'm an idiot.
That's most probably why I never had a boyfriend in the first place. I'm soooo stupid.
"Reynold," He stepped towards me and I stepped back, looking around anywhere but, at him.
"Michelle-- I-I..." He trailed making no sense to me. He reached for my hand and pulled me closer to him. I kept my eyes glued to ground. I was suddenly too exhausted to even look up.
Nevertheless, he slipped his warm fingers underneath my cold chin to make me look in his eyes. I shivered. But, I couldn't look up. My tears were on the verge of breaking out. I couldn't...
I took a breath, pushed on him and stepped away- startling him a little- and gave him my brave smile."You don't have to explain anything. It's not like you're my boyfriend or something- not that I ever thought of you to be one. Just saying. I just wanted to thank you for what you did. And," I swallowed, trying to come up with more sense-making words. But, couldn't.
I looked back a him. "I-I have to go."
"Wait..."
"No, It's my fault. I shouldn't have come here in the middle of the night. Like what was I thinking? You don't consider me 'Hey hangout anytime kind of buddy' I don't know what I was thinking coming here like this. I'm sooo stupid-"
A shiver ran through my spine when this time he gripped my wrist firmly and stopped me from rambling nonsense which definitely didn't make any sense to him or maybe it did. Who cares? Not me.
"I understand, Nobody. But, you were right. We can't be friends. You were right... I am so sorry Nobody but, I have to go." I looked one last time at him, in his hurting dark eyes and stomped out of his stupid building, stupid street with a hammering heart ready to explode any minute.
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