((piløts))
"i'm dying, and i'm trying, but believe me i'm fine. but i'm lying, i'm so very far from fine." -tyler joseph (fall away)
^that's me rn bC 5K READS???? YOURE GETTING A LONG CHAPTER
(UNEDITED BC LOL)
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»melanie»
"no." he whispered.
"yes." i answered, sternly but quietly.
"nope."
"yes, josh." we were battling in an "i love you more" war, snuggled up very close in the same bunk. i was practically laying flat on top of josh, which was the most comfortable sleeping position i've ever been in, honestly.
"fine. but only for today." he gave in and i rolled my eyes, josh could barely see them but i could feel his beaming at me. they just shine like that.
"for forever." i kissed his nose and held his shoulder.
"you're my forever." i blushed and felt it spread all over my cheeks. he mocked my nose-kiss and planted them all around my face. "aren't you?" his voice was slightly teasing in a way, but with so much compassion i just felt like blowing up right there.
"absolutely and always." i nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck, sprawling my hands on his chest.
"always and absolutely." he breathed out and played with my hair.
and i fell asleep just like that. right next to the guy i loved. our love was simple, but also crafted into something deep and deficient. like water and a marble, the marble is our relationship and it dropped into the creation of love, the water. and the marble is slowly sinking to the bottom, waiting to break through something awaiting there. it's finding it's purpose, just like our love. it was simple, yet so descriptive.
our hopeless-yet-ethereal love.
(the fuck was that)
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i, or the whole bus, woke up to a screeching trumpet. i hit my head on the wall above me and josh laughed loudly. our eyes turned to mark with josh's trumpet, "dude you're cleaning that." josh rolled his eyes and looked at me, smiling. "morning, dollface." i cringed at his morning breath.
"i love you and all, but go brush your teeth." i giggled as he got out from under me and walked to the bathroom, stretching his arms. his back muscles tensed up and i had to say that it was so hot i almost groaned. jenna and tyler were looking at me, the same smirks on their faces.
"she got hit by the love rock." tyler whispered loudly, the blonde next to him nodded slowly.
"love boulder." jenna corrected. i shook my head and smiled, heading to the bathroom after getting my toothbrush. i knocked on the door and josh opened it with a toothbrush in his mouth. i tried not to laugh and walked in the cramped space. i walked in front of the sink and he stood behind me.
"weirdos." mark yelled as he walked by. josh placed his hand on my hip and rubbed it up and down my side, i placed my small hand over his and tried rinsed my mouth.
remembering i had to bend over to spit out the excess, i told josh to move, "jofsh can yoo moof." he laughed, covering his mouth so nothing would splatter anywhere as he moved over by the little toilet. i rinsed my mouth and dried it with a paper towel. he did the same and grabbed my hips with both hands and walked behind me.
i almost stumbled and fell when he stepped on the back of my foot, but he caught me. "whoops." i turned around and he was smiling his innocent little smile.
i couldn't help but stare at it. "you're so cute."
"not that innocent though." i raised an eyebrow and walked to the front of the bus.
"okay guys, we're five minutes away from the hotel. let's not be late to check in." mark shouted and started to drive once again. the only reason he woke us up was to get gas and let us prepare for getting off the bus when we check in. he said that mornings won't always be like this, if a hotel isn't needed and we're staying for one night, we would just sleep in the bus.
josh was eating cereal with a fork and plastic plate. not a bowl, a plate. once the bus started moving, he spilled milk all over tyler and i had to keep myself from laughing, yet i snickered loudly. "one cannot simply do something more wrong." i clutched my stomach from laughing too hard as josh glared at me and sipped his cereal.
"tyler? where did you put my- oh god what happened?" jenna walked in and looked between tyler and josh. tyler had a spill right on his crotch. i laughed even more and josh stood up, slapping tyler's bum on the way, then throwing his "food" away which was next to me. he raised an eyebrow and held my hands.
"if you keep laughing that laugh that keeps me alive i'm gunna have to-"
"do what? give me more hickeys?" i whispered the last word as i cut him off. he shook his head, not in a disagreeing way, and walked away with a playful smirk. i groaned and made my way to my suitcase to change.
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josh and tyler we're doing a last minute sound check, since the concert was tonight. i couldn't go to the concert because the hotel said it was "last minute regulation difficulties". but i'll get to see other shows soon.
right after sound check, they'll be staying at the arena. so now, i'm here alone. jenna will be coming later though. i went through my suitcase to check if i had everything, i gasped when i found what i forgot i packed. i put it on and played with the little fluffs on it, laughing. my weird style of clothing makes me happy.
i immediately wanted to show josh. you know, not to tease him or anything. (this isn't a full on pearl-studded thong and bra guys...chill) i grabbed my phone and laid down on the bed, angling the camera to show just a bit of my pastel blue skirt, but mostly the main attraction. i pushed send and smiled. i hope tyler won't see his phone.
»josh»
some dude was talking about the sound and everything, the same thing people tell us every time at every show. i felt my phone buzz and took it out of my pocket, seeing it was a picture from melanie, i panicked. did she do it again? i unlocked it and choked on air. this is not self harm!
my dollface:
my dollface: i'm bored to dunth
alien daddy dun: oHMYGKD
alien daddy dun: meL FUCK
my dollface: IM CRYINGDKDJX
alien daddy dun: godDAMMNIF
tyler kept glancing over at me since i was slightly shivering. i locked my phone and inhaled. "you okay?" tyler nudged me and whispered.
"yep." i said and let my breath go. the image of her would not get out of my head. she was beautiful— my god, she was hot, even— and she didn't realize that. but damn i need to save that picture.
i unlocked my phone and stared at it. i felt someone tap my shoulder, then i snapped my head towards jenna and shut my phone off. "uh, we're done with soundcheck and we're heading to the dressing rooms." jenna laughed, probably at my stupid expression on my face, and walked off behind the man guiding us. i'm going to do this privately.
"are you gunna set that as your wallpaper?" jenna whispered and i groaned, flailing my arms down. i glared and her and she snickered, putting her hands up in defense. "fine, fine. just put in on a billboard and caption it, 'she's mine don't touch. -josh dun'." i playfully slapped her arm and felt my cheeks heat up.
my thoughts were just melaniemelaniemelanie.
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»melanie»
when i sent the picture, i laughed insanely at his reaction. i was surprised crybaby didn't force me to not send it, but i heard her little voice later, who sounded so sweet and innocent, almost too much to believe.
you think you can be like those other girls.
i heard the mysterious laughs and scoffs as i put a shirt over the fuzzy bra.
maybe like alaya, hm? wanting to be so successful like her. all those people believing her. leaving you and taking her side. it's all about HER. nothing about you!
i put a middle finger up, resting my face on my hand. i didn't want to fight the voice, but i didn't want to lose either.
i'm just not a piece of cake for people to discard. i'm the cake, and crybaby's that one eggshell you find inside it. no one wants an eggshell-infested cake, so why not simply throw it away?
but the other question is, why throw away a delicious slice of cake? when you could just eat around the bad part. take all the good, leave the bad, don't just discard.
i jot the idea down in my sacred notes of lyrics and poetic stuff i wrote about. no one knew about my poetic side, i thought it was special.
unlike you.
"just fuck o-" i yelled and heard the door open and saw jenna.
"hey mel, you okay?" i rubbed the side of my arm and nodded.
"y-yeah, fine. i'm fine." i smiled, fakely, and sighed.
"you looked hot in that bra, girl." she sat next to me and hugged me, i laughed and blushed.
"josh needs to learn how to hide his phone." i rolled my eyes, tapping my fingers on my knees.
"along with his boner." she muttered and i gasped so hard i choked on air.
"jenna! don't say that." i giggled incredibly loudly, wiping tears from my eyes.
"whoops?" she shrugged and snickered.
i'm not that hot.
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wOWZA that was a long arse chapter. but ayyyyye i'm kinda feeling better now bc you loves just are so sympathetic i can't,,
i useD TO THINK NO ONE LOVED ME LMAO
aww it makes me wanna cry jus knowing you lil bbymuffins actually read this and care about me.
i love you more than you'd ever imagine!!
"let your dreams guide you, not donald trump." -trashycliquecrybaby
OKOK BYE
stay alive, my lovely sugar cubes |-/ ✨