C H A P T E R 1 1 | K A T I E
Tossing the used needle into the disposal bin as Claudia applied a small band-aid to the young girl's arm, my gloves were quick to follow before I hunched in front of the patient with a friendly smile.
"See, wasn't that quick?" I asked, watching her lips pull up slightly as she nodded, forgetting about the pinch of pain that the needle had caused. Reaching into the jar of small lollipops, I pulled one out and held it towards her. "And because you were so brave, you get a treat to enjoy on the ride home."
Her eyes shone happily as she quickly grabbed the candy. "Thank you!"
I chuckled at her reaction, offering her my hand as I nodded at the door. "Let's get you back out to your mom then, shall we?"
The waiting room was only two hallways away, and as soon as her mom was in sight, the little girl released her grip from my hand and ran towards her. Making sure to remind the mom to sign out at the front desk, I didn't linger long, returning diligently to where I'd left Claudia.
"So, how many more kids have appointments today?" I asked, leaning up against the side table as I watched her. I tried my hardest to make it appear as a casual action, but truthfully, I was exhausted. My alarm clock had woken me up this morning just after nine, and even though that was considered a lie-in for me, it didn't do much good after only managing to catch two hours of sleep.
"There's six written down in the books for appointments," Claudia replied, her eyes trailing the papers in front of her as she finished jotting down the notes for the last patient, "But we have to accommodate the people who just walk in to, so probably around ten."
I nodded, and after a quick calculation, figured that we'd be administrating the flu shots for the remainder of our shift. "Sounds good," I replied, turning my gaze to the list of appointments. "Did you want me to go and grab Samuel then?" I asked, reading off the next name, and while I attempted to conceal it, a yawn managed to escape me.
Claudia had seen it, there was no doubt about it, and while it wouldn't normally be a strange occurrence near the end of a full shift, she'd already caught me zoning out while filing paperwork and rubbing my temples in an attempt to curb an on-going headache.
"Katie," she spoke carefully, her eyes softening with worry as her gaze met mine, "Are you sure you're okay? Because if you're feeling overworked, or stressed, I can see if your hours can be cut back or – "
My lips pulled up tiredly as I jumped in. "I just didn't get much sleep last night that's all." The words were true but a guilty taste lingered on my tongue afterwards. "I'm fine, really. You don't need to worry."
I wasn't fine. I was disoriented, overworked, tired and experiencing regular headaches as a result of my lack of sleep, but I couldn't admit it. I'd worked hard for this job, and having made so much progress, I wasn't ready to stumble backwards. I could get a hold of my insomnia. I'd done it before and I could do it again.
Swallowing hard, hoping that she didn't catch the slight waver to my voice, I let out a silent breath of relief when she accepted my reply a few moments later. "Okay." There was still an ounce of skepticism to her voice, but for now, she was letting the issue drop. "But before you fetch Samuel, can you drop these files off at the front desk?"
Detouring to the staff room for a cup of coffee, I returned five minutes later with Samuel in tow, hoping that the caffeine would give me enough of a boost to get through the rest of my shift.
Two hours later I was considerably more awake and less drowsy. My headache had subsided and my thoughts were more fluid, which seemed to please Claudia. We were just finishing up with the last walk-in client before shift change, and though he looked to be a young teenager, I was still tasked with distracting him as Claudia administered his flu shot.
"Katie?"
Knowing that it wasn't Claudia's voice, I turned curiously to the doorway to see another nurse, who I vaguely remembered meeting, looking at me in an expectant manner.
Arching an eyebrow, I glanced back to see that Claudia had used this distraction to inject the vaccine into the child's arm. "Yes?" I replied slowly, moving towards the candy jar that had been serving its purpose all afternoon.
"You're wanted upstairs," she said hesitantly.
Halting my steps, a frown creased my forehead. I didn't understand what was going on, and with one glance back at Claudia, she didn't seem to know either. Noticing that the nurse was fidgeting with the material of her scrubs, I asked, "For what?"
The sympathy that she'd evidently been holding back flooded across her features quickly, her blue eyes muted and her tone somber as she said, "It's your mom."
A cold chill made its way down my spine as I froze, my shoulders stiffening as my lungs contracted painfully. I felt like I couldn't breathe. My heart was thundering above my rib cage and my mind was running a mile a minute, racing through different, gut-wrenching scenarios.
"Wh...what?" I managed to force out, my voice croaky and dry as my hands began to shake with worry.
"I don't know much," she continued softly, "They just wanted to talk to you."
Any prior feelings of exhaustion had rushed out of my body as my emotions were set to high alert. I was holding it together for the moment, keeping my tears at bay, but I didn't know how much longer it'd take before things went downhill.
"Go," I heard Claudia say persistently, "I've got everything handled here."
Nodding mindlessly, my legs moved on their own accord, breezing passed the nurse whose name I couldn't remember and towards the elevator. When the metal doors slid open, I stepped inside quickly, pressing the button for my mom's floor before repeatedly tapping the button to close the doors, hoping that it'd speed up the process, even though I knew it wouldn't. The elevator ride was constricting, even though there was only me to take up space, and as the seconds ticked by as though they were minutes, I could feel myself begin to hyperventilate.
I had almost lost my mom once, two years back when she'd contracted a bad strain of the flu just as she was finishing up her first round with chemotherapy. I'd been a wreck, and the thought of having to replay that nightmare made panic bubble in the pit of my stomach as the elevator doors finally drew open.
Moving as quickly as I could through the halls, I weaved my way around patients and co-workers before I reached my mother's room. The door was closed, and through the small glass window, I could see two nurses tending to my mom as she laid awake while one of her doctors stood at the foot of the bed.
I paused only for a second. Taking a deep breath, I placed my palm against the door and pushed it open. "What's wrong?" I asked, and while I'd tried to sound concerned and level-headed, I was sure that, as all eyes turned to me, I sounded hysteric. "I was told to come up here." My words were quick and full of worry. "Is she okay? What happened?"
"Katie," the doctor spoke calmly, cutting off my nervous ramblings. "We've got everything under control, we just wanted you to be here to hear what's going on."
"And what's going on?"
The only thoughts that were running through my mind in that moment were grim and terrifying.
"Your mom woke up about half an hour ago, and when we began to take her vitals, we saw that she was dehydrated. We increased the amount of medicine in one of her IVs and succeeded in levelling out the water supply in her body after a meal, but she is running a slight fever." His voice was professional as a way to appease my fears. "All of the tests we've run since have shown nothing out of the ordinary, so we don't believe it's affected her condition by any means. We'll be checking in at least once an hour for the rest of the day, and once the fever disappears we'll go from there."
My heart was beginning to slow down as the situation was explained. There was no sympathy hidden in his eyes, which meant that I could trust that his words weren't altered to put me at ease, and for that I was thankful.
"Am I okay to stay here for a while?" I asked softly, feeling small as I looked to my mother. The pale skin of her forehead had a sheen layer of sweat and her features were laced with exhaustion.
I could see the doctor nod in my peripheral vision. "That's completely fine, though I should let you know that your mom is running low on energy and she's likely to fall asleep within the next few minutes."
Nodding in understanding, I waited stilly until everyone vacated the room, leaving my mom and I alone. Moving towards the bed, I leaned over her. Until then, I'd managed to hold my tears back, but as water lined my eyes, I couldn't find the strength to blink it away. "Please tell me you're okay," I pleaded, clutching her hand with my own in a desperate attempt for a connection.
"No need to worry sweetie," she spoke slowly, though the unusual scratchiness to her words felt like a spike to my heart. Her lips cracked slightly as she smiled. "I'm okay."
"Good," I choked out, "Because I can't lose you."
−−−−−−−−−−
Just as her doctor had predicted, my mom didn't stay awake more than a few minutes after we'd been left alone. She asked how I was doing, ignoring the tears that leaked from my eyes as I replied, but when I was left alone to stew in silence, I pulled the plastic chair in the corner of the room next to her bed.
Claudia had dropped by at the end of her shift, not at all worried about the fact that I'd left her to deal with the end-of-shift duties alone, but sincere as she voiced how glad she was that everything was okay. She'd departed just as another nurse entered to check on my mom, wishing me a good night as she disappeared down the hall.
I didn't know exactly how long I'd stayed in the same position, but when the harsh glare of the setting sun beat through the glass windows, I knew I couldn't stay all night.
I packed up my things slowly, but when all was said and done, I left the nurses to be with my mom for the night, a hopefulness in my blood that this truly wouldn't have long-term effects.
As I was waiting patiently for the elevator, I pulled out my phone, shocked to see that Stella had blown up my inbox with more than a dozen messages. Choosing not to bother with reading them, I dialed her number quickly, knowing exactly what the reason was for the sudden burst of texts.
She answered on the second ring. "Hey."
"Stella! I'm sorry I didn't get your texts, I just got held up at the hospital, but I'm leaving now."
There was a pause on her end, and just when I was about to repeat myself, thinking she hadn't heard me, she replied. "You know, if you need to be at the hospital tonight – " Her voice was soft and knowing. " – We can just do this another time, I don't mind."
"No, everything's good," I insisted, feeling like an awful friend. First I'd offered to help Dean out by driving him to campus, effectively ending our morning drives to campus, and with my extra workload, I'd already cancelled and postponed plans one too many times. "If you pick up the snacks I should be home in half an hour and we can order take-out."
There was a low sigh from her end as the elevator doors finally slid opened and I stepped inside. "If you're sure."
"I am."
"Okay then, I'll meet you at yours."
"Great. See you soon."
On the way down the elevator stopped on several floors, many people crowding into the small space as I was pushed towards the corner in a claustrophobic attempt to give myself some breathing room. When we finally reached the ground floor, I was the last one to step out of the elevator, my legs on autopilot as I headed towards the exit.
Though maybe if I was paying more attention to my surroundings I would've seen Dean approaching before he managed to sneak up on me.
"Katie," he started with amusement, though when I jumped in surprise, whirling around to face him with wide eyes, I saw the light in his eyes slowly dim as a calculating curiosity overtook it. I was almost positive that I looked a mess. My eyes were red-rimmed from the tears I'd shed upstairs, the exhaustion that I'd pushed aside was slowly starting to seep back into my body, and I was hyperaware of the fact that the bus I had to be on would be leaving in less than five minutes. "Are you okay? I called your name three times and you didn't respond."
Shaking my head to try and even out my thoughts, I replied, "It's just been a stressful day." I'd known Dean was scheduled for his usual physiotherapy appointment, though since I hadn't expected to stay this late after my shift, I hadn't expected to run into him.
He quirked an eyebrow. "Anything I can help with?"
I relaxed slightly, tension seeping from my muscles as my lips quirked upwards. "It's okay," I replied softly, "I'm actually meeting up with Stella tonight, so I've got to get going before I miss the bus."
"If you're sure," he trailed with a wary look in his eye.
"I am."
Knowing that I wasn't going to say much more on the subject, he sighed, a satisfied smile stretching across his lips just a few seconds later. "Then have fun tonight."
"I'll try," I replied breezily, readjusting my bag as I moved to head towards the exit. "And I'll see you Monday."
"That's only if I don't die during physio," he called after me with a teasing tone.
"It's not that bad," I said, ignoring the looks sent my way as I gazed back over my shoulder, "You just have to suck it up."
"Easy for you to say."
Our exchange seemed to be causing the patients loitering the lobby some form of amusement, but as the glass doors slid open and I saw the bus rounding the corner, I let him have the last word.
Crossing my eyes and sticking my tongue out childishly, I pulled a ridiculous face with no further explanation before turning away and catching the bus home.
−−−−−−−−−−
"I still can't believe that that flawless face is related to Dean."
Stella's voice had a teasing undertone as she watched Ryan Adams grace the screen of my television. It hadn't been my choice of movie because, in my opinion, watching Dean's brother act as though he was the tortured prince of a long lost kingdom just didn't sit well with me after having actually met him. However, when I'd given Stella free reign over my movie collection, she'd grinned especially wide as she slid the disc she'd chosen into the DVD player.
It was strange – knowing somebody famous and then having to watch them take on new identities and personalities as they furthered their career – and if I was finding it strange watching him act, I couldn't even imagine how Dean felt when he watched one of his brother's films.
"And I don't know why I even told you that Ryan is Dean's brother," I replied, pulling a blanket tighter to my chest as a chill hit my shoulders.
The two of us were spread out across the couch in my living room – one of us at either end with our legs taking up the middle and a mound of blankets covering us. There were empty takeout containers littering the coffee table, as well as a mix of opened bags of chips and candy packages – the essentials for a girls' night in.
"Because you love me," she replied cheekily, and though the lights in the room were off, and the only source of light was the harsh glare of the television, I could see a gleam of amusement in her eyes. "Or maybe it's because I was bugging you about Dean and you can't control what slips out of your mouth when you're thinking about him."
Holding down the blush that threatened to appear, I narrowed my eyes. "I can to," I said adamantly.
"Maybe when he's around," she continued teasingly, "But when he's not, it's completely obvious how you feel about him."
This time I couldn't prevent the heat that spread to my cheeks, painting them a bright crimson that was more or less hidden in the dark. "I don't – " I started, struggling to get the words out, "I mean – "
"You what?" she asked, urging me to continue with a smirk. As I stayed quiet and the blush spread down my neck, her eyes flashed knowingly. "Come on Katie, you can't even deny it – you like him."
I bit my lip timidly, my voice meek as I replied, "Is that so bad?"
"Of course it's not," she said reassuringly. "I'm actually happy for you, and looking back at the guys I've dated over the years, you could've done a lot worse."
"Gee thanks," I drawled, rolling my eyes.
She laughed. "I'm just saying, Dean seems like a great guy. Just be sure to keep me up to date about what's going on; I like hearing about your love life."
"What love life?" I muttered embarrassedly, very aware that she knew I didn't date much since my mom had gotten sick.
"You know what I mean."
When I lifted my head, my eyes catching hers, it threw me off slightly to see such a genuine look of happiness dance across her features. Her eyes were bright and her smile wide, and as a thought popped into my head, I wondered, for a moment, if it was because of Holden.
"What about you?" I asked nonchalantly, attempting to conceal my curiosity as I continued. "You've been calling me at least once a week since the end of September about dates you're going on. Anyone special?"
"Nobody you need to worry about," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand. She shrugged. "Anyways, you know how I am with guys."
It was true that she'd never really been one for a serious relationship, but if Holden – or whoever she was seeing – was breaking down her walls, then I was happy for her.
"But we aren't talking about me right now," she continued before I could get a word in. "We were talking about you and Dean." She paused, the movie now forgotten as she quirked an eyebrow in amusement. "So... has he kissed you yet?"
I flushed as the memory of me accidentally kissing him back in the hospital flooded my thoughts, causing Stella to laugh and squeal. As she begged for details that I'd previously withheld, I found myself smiling, this afternoon's events being safely pushed to the side knowing that, even though it wasn't all that exciting, tonight was just the kind of night I needed.
a/n: This is mostly a filler chapter with a few important things that will move the plot along, and while it's a bit shorter than normal, I hope you still enjoyed it. Also, for anyone who's wondering, the picture at the top of the chapter is who I imagine as Stella.
Also, after the comment fiasco of last week – where they basically just didn't work – I really hope it's all been fixed and I'd love to hear your opinions! <3