Chapter 36
Bliss bristled against Clint's words. It couldn't be true. He hadn't become like that. Surely, he hadn't become one of them.
"Please tell me you're messing with me," she pleaded, tears stinging behind her eyes.
"I'm not. God isn't heartless like you think. He's gotta plan," Clint tried to reason with her.
"You're defending the one who deserted me and left me to fend for myself? Of all the people around me, you were the only one I expected to understand. Now you're acting just like them!" Bliss exclaimed.
"Did it ever occur to you that He might be letting you try to figure out things on your own so you'd realize how much you need him? Because things are turning out pretty bad for you from where I sit," Clint told her.
"I can fend for myself. Why does everyone think I need help from someone? I'm getting along just fine!" Bliss clenched her hands together under the table.
Deep down inside, she knew that he was right. She was wearing thin by herself. She wasn't as independent as she thought.
"Are you?" Clint asked. "Are you really getting along just fine?"
Bliss clenched her teeth. He had no right to question her words.
She looked up at him. There was no way she could stand having him around now. There were already too many people telling her what to do.
She stood and walked to the window, not wanting to face him.
She knew what she had to do.
For her own sake.
"You need to go," she croaked out.
She didn't hear him move, she didn't hear him say anything. She forced herself to turn around and face him, blinking back the tears.
"You can collect your pay from Daddy, pack your things, and leave. Your job is done," she told him.
No emotion shone behind Clint's eyes for a moment. As a matter of fact, it looked more like he was thinking really hard about something.
"Did you hear me, Mr. Slade?" She pressed.
Clint stood from the table and looked her in the eye. "Loud and clear."
He disappeared down the hall toward his room, and Bliss came to grips with what she had done. He was leaving.
She would never see him again. He was leaving her life permanently.
She took a few steps to run after him, and then stopped herself. She didn't need Clint.
She didn't need anyone.
Walking the other way, she walked out onto the back porch and sat right where she and Clint had sat merely a week before.
This was the exact reason why he had to go. She had way too many fond memories of someone who was just going to leave anyway. She was attached to him.
No, she was far beyond attached. She had blindly fallen way father than that.
One day she was as free as a bird without a man in sight, and then she turned around and allowed herself to fall in love when she wasn't looking. This was the problem with having Clint Slade around.
Though she had justified her reason, a tear still found its way out of her eye and crept warily down her cheek.
She didn't want him to go, but he had to.
*****
Clint shoved his few belongings into his saddlebags and slung them over his shoulder.
This was what she wanted. She wanted him gone.
This wasn't how I imagined it turning out, God. Not at all.
He walked back through the kitchen and didn't see Bliss anywhere. He desperately wanted to say goodbye and wish her well, but knew that she wouldn't like that. So instead, he looked over the room where he had grown to admire and care for this family one last time.
At first, he had seen this job as an act of determination, but now he found that it was the best job he had been on in his life.
That little cabin back in Tennessee would be mighty lonely knowing that Bliss wasn't in the room next to him. He looked down at the scar on his hand from where his wound had healed and decided that this was one scar he would be proud to wear, because he had earned it for Bliss. She may think of him as the sorriest excuse of a man to walk the earth, but his feelings about her couldn't be denied.
Not willing to admit the feelings to himself just yet, Clint closed his eyes against his thoughts and left the room, walking down the hall toward the front door. He opened the door and stepped outside on the front porch to where Sherman was still sitting.
"Where are you going?" he asked Clint.
Clint took a deep breath. This was going to give the man too much pleasure. "I've been asked to leave."
Sherman's eyebrows drew close together in confusion.
"Apparently my being a Christian around here is inexcusable," Clint explained.
Sherman stood from his place sitting in a wicker rocker and looked back at the house.
"She kicked you out?" he asked.
Clint nodded. Sherman took a moment to compose himself from his shock and then moved toward the door.
"I'll be back in a minute with your pay," he said.
"Don't bother," Clint stopped him. "I don't want it."
Sherman froze and looked back at him. "Why?"
Clint took a deep breath and looked back at the house. "Reasons you wouldn't understand."
Cling walked toward the barn, then stopped. He still had a few minutes to get under Sherman's skin for the last time.
"By the way," he said, turning around, "Since I'm leaving, I guess you outta know that the men Damian worked for are my brother. Used to be part of a gang with them."
Sherman gasped. "You were working for them too!"
Clint grinned. If Sherman was stupid enough to think that, he might as well let him think it.
He continued walking toward the barn and got his horse from its stall. Studying the animal, he sighed.
"I guess I'll give you a name after all, ole' fella," he said.
The horse snorted. Clint smiled a little bit and began saddling the animal.
Grace wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.
"It's been good having you around, Clint. It's gonna be lonely around here without you," she said.
Clint's heart hitched. He had never been genuinely cared about before. The feeling of being missed both hurt and did him good.
"Thanks, Grace. You're the finest cook in the country, you know. I think if I stayed around much longer, I'd have to roll around instead of walk," Clint released her and patted his flat stomach.
Grace sniffled and wiped a tear away. "I think you could stand for a few more stacks of pancakes before that happens."
"Don't tempt me," Clint smiled.
Grace smiled through her tears and held a book out to him. "Here. I think you'll need this."
Clint took the book and examined it. His very own Bible.
He smiled down at Grace. "Thank you." He gave the woman another brief hug before turning to Colt where he stood beside Clint's horse.
Clint held his hand out to the man and shook it hard. "Thanks for everything, Colt."
Colt nodded. "It's my pleasure."
Clint threw a glance back at the house, half hoping to see Bliss somewhere. She wasn't anywhere to be seen. He looked back at Colt. "Take care of her for me, ya hear? Don't let her ride off by herself with Joe and Abel still around out there somewhere."
Colt nodded. "You have my word that I won't let anything happen to her."
Clint gave his head one stiff nod. "Good. You take care of yourself too."
Colt nodded.
Clint looked over the ranch and took one last full view of it. The place had started to look like home over the past few days, and the people started looking a lot like family.
Sherman was nowhere to be seen, and Clint was kind of glad for that as he mounted his horse and put the Bible Grace had given him in his saddlebag.
He smiled back down at the two people seeing him off. He was going to be just fine.
He spurred his horse into a run right off.
As he passed the ranch house, he told himself not to look back.
It wouldn't do for him to long for things he couldn't have.
His heart overtook his mind and he threw a glance over his shoulder back at the ranch house.
Then he saw her.
Sitting on the back porch, her head in her hands and no one with her. For a moment, Clint considered pulling his horse to a stop, but kept himself from doing that. She wouldn't want to see him.
He had done what he could for her.
God, please let her see the light again. I want her eyes to shine, even if I can't see them.
He rode fast until he was out of sight of the ranch, and then yanked on his horse's reins until he stopped.
He couldn't leave her.
He wouldn't leave her.
Joe and Abel were still crawling around somewhere, and he needed to watch over the Coopers until they got the money and got off the ranch.
Looking up at the sky, he closed his eyes as a cold wind blew over him.
What do I do, Lord? Give me an idea.
His eyes focused right ahead of him - right on the mesa called Almighty.
He wasn't going anywhere.
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