"Her soul was utterly captivating.
Like a warm rainy day, dying to be danced in..."
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My plan to ignore Xavier wasn't very successful however, just like all of my previous plans to avoid him. I wonder when will my ninja stealth skills start kicking in, I mean I was seventeen already. How long does it take for a human? Anyways so when I reached home from school, after skipping detention, I quietly snuck into my room. Like every single time, today too I did it to avoid any confrontation with mom. So imagine my surprise when I saw Xavier knocking at my door, from my window two hours later. When I felt my breath getting stuck in my throat when I saw him at our doorstep. However, today I was thankful of my mother's drunkenness that drove him away when she opened the door. I don't know what they talked about for the exact one minute and eighteen seconds they conversed but the shock that registered on his face when he saw my mother was very easy to see. Quick question, did it hurt to see the shock on his face? Yep! It did. But I couldn't do anything about it. So I just watched him walk away from our house. So how did my plan to avoid him went down the drain, you ask me?
Well you see, just like every night, when my mother was out, searching for a penis to hop on or a drink to chug, I was alone at home. And I guess, fate took advantage of that and brought Xavier Tynan back to my doorstep again. And this time when I opened the door and he came in, he was alone. That was worse than usual! Who knows what he would do when his buddies aren't around. Maybe he'd just simply woman castrate me. If that was even possible though. I mean women don't get castrated right? Anyways I had no idea what he was here for. And I seriously wished I don't find out if its bad. Anyways back to when I opened the door.
I looked at him with shock while he looked at me with a smirk. See the difference? He simply strode inside my house like it was the most casual thing he does. I guess the trait runs in the entire bad boy group. I looked at him with a frown.
"So I came by this afternoon..." He said.
Please don't mention the mother. Please don't mention the mother.
"....and I saw you staring at me like a hot piece of chicken steak you can't wait to devour, from you window." He completed with a smirk. That butthole! I glared at him.
"I was not lo-" I was however not allowed to voice out my protest completely because he simply leaned down to my ear and whispered.
"How many times do I have to remind you that you can't avoid me?" His breathy tone was soft and husky and dammnn sexy!!! I gulped. He was waiting for my answer, still leaning. It was no easy for me to answer though, that minty breath was tickling my neck, distracting me. Suddenly I felt him chuckle and luckily he pulled away from me. I frowned.
"Why are you even here?" I asked. But he didn't answer. He shrugged. He just freaking shrugged! Damn the bad boys! Suddenly an idea clicked my mind and I motioned him to stay still while I myself ran upstairs to my room. Quickly going through my stuff, I finally found the chalk. I knew it was here somewhere! Running back downstairs I saw Xavier standing exactly where he was before. I walked up to him and and then sat down on the floor. Xavier looked at me with confusion. I drew a large circle on the floor with the chalk. While powder stained the floor. Then, standing up, I stepped inside the circle and looked at Xavier with satisfaction. The expressions that he mirrored were however still of confusion. So I decided to explain.
"This is my personal space. I want you to not invade it." I told him like he was dumb. Xavier looked at me with a disturbed incredulous look. How he managed to pull two different expressions at the same time were beyond me.
"Are you for real??" He asked me with disbelief. Pfft! What a stupid person!
"Of course!" I replied him with a frown. Xavier rolled his eyes again.
"Hazel, you do know you're gonna have to step out of this boundary you created at some point, right?" He asked me patiently. My heart skipped a beat. This was the first time he called me by name rather than calling me weirdo. And I loved it.
"Yes of course. I'm not stupid. I just want you to remember the diameter of my personal space." I replied him in the duh tone. I don't know why, but that somehow made him laugh. Very hard. I looked at him with a scowl, waiting for him to complete his go-crazy-with-laughter session. Finally when he did sober up, he looked at me with amusement.
"Seriously, you're the weirdest person I have ever had the chance to meet. I should I say its hilarious and I'm loving every minute of it." I huffed and crossed my arms on my chest. Xavier shook his head. His eyes still shone with laughter.
"Go and sit in the living room while I fetch myself a drink. 'Cause, I'm sure as hell you won't ask me for one." He said. I felt myself blushing. Xavier chuckled and then went inside the kitchen. I, on the other hand, listened to him and dragged my feet to the nearest sofa, crashing down on it. A few minutes later I saw Xavier coming back from the kitchen while taking sips from a can. I frowned again. Why was I frowning so much today?
"Where's my drink??" I asked him with a pout. Xavier smirked and took a few sips from from his drink and walked near me. Before I could say anything, he grabbed a handful of my hair and brought my face near his, crashing his lips on mine. Pineapple juice. I felt pineapple juice in my mouth and realized that Xavier had just transferred the juice he was drinking from his mouth to mine. Is that supposed to be gross, because I just found that incredibly sexy. Whatever this guy did just felt sexy. I bet if he even wore a frilled barbie frock and white leggings with ballerina shoes, he'd still manage to look a hot piece of-
Oh god! What the hell am I thinking!?
"Lost somewhere weirdo?" He asked me. I looked at him blankly and then remembered he had just kissed me and I am supposed to be angry. I tried to muster up some anger but all I felt was the fluttering of a butterfly park in my belly.
"I- ehm... Why did you do that?" I asked him quietly, feeling extremely nervous.
"Well... You told me you wanted a drink so I got you one. Simple." No Xavier! Its not simple! Its freaking crazy because even after kissing me twice now you're acting normal while my heartbeat it running a marathon race and winning!! I wanted to say that but I just simply nodded.
"Next time, just give me a separate drink rather than-ehm- doing what you just did." I felt blush rising up my cheeks again and silently cursed them. Xavier chuckled.
"Sure." Was the reply I got. I felt him sit down on the sofa I was sitting on. I felt nervous again. And I most certainly had some sound reasons for that. Number one: both of us were alone in a house. Number two: we both were sitting right next two each other, and very close. And number three and the greatest one: we both had just freaking kissed!!!!
While I was hyperventilating on my own, Xavier was totally normal as if nothing was wrong, sipping his drink and watching TV, he had switched during the time I was thinking. His one arm was casually draped across my shoulder, his hand just above my boob but not touching it. Strangely enough, it felt very normal to me as well. As if we did this everyday. So slowly I too relaxed against him, resting my head on his chest. His hand above my boob, moved to my hair, gently combing them. It was like even he didn't realize he was doing that. I felt my eyes getting droopy before I succumbed to the call of slumber and finally fell into the depths of darkness.
When I woke up, I was still on the sofa but there was no one beside me. A surge of disappointment swept through me. I suddenly wanted to see Xavier. I guess it was just the after effects of sleep or maybe Xavier's kiss.
Lazily, I dragged myself to my room and flopped on my bed. Slumber was still drugging my mind so I let it take over me.
"Please don't do this. Pleaaseee!! Noooo!!!" I heard my mom scream but I kept my head tucked in my knees, my eyes shut. Tears were freely flowing through my closed eyes. And then I heard my dad scream as well. I flinched and quickly looked up.
And then I regretted it exactly that instant. I screamed at the naked body of my mother. My dad was crying loudly beside me. Begging them for mercy. I felt a hulky and dirty man coming towards me. I squirmed in my place. He was now grabbing me by my hair, pulling me up on feet but unfortunately I couldn't. I was tied. So the man left my hair and aimed for my shirt. Grabbing a fistful of my shirt he jerked it upwards, tearing it. I saw him coming near me.
I woke up and screamed loudly. A nightmare. There was a nightmare again. My tongue darted out to wet my lips and I tasted the salt of my tears on them. Nightmares were a usual part of my sleep. I would dream of the incident every now and then with a few changes. I hugged myself tightly. Tears were again streaming down my face. I quickly stood up and rushed into my bathroom. I stumblingly opened the cabinet and took out the box of blades. Taking one out I placed it a little below my elbow and pressed it into my skin. Then slowly I dragged it across it. A hiss left my mouth while I watched my skin slashing. And then I felt the pain pouring out of that with my blood from the gash I had made. I smiled softly and breathed deeply. Everytime I do this, it gets better and better. The fear, the hurt was overwhelmed by the pain in my arm until they weren't there anymore. Just the stinging pain in my arm. This sting had always reminded me that I had survived. Survived from the pain in my heart. From the frustrations, depressions. I had won the battle again. The battle between my inner pain and my outer pain. This sting that had numbed my inner pain. Defeated it. After a long time of watching the blood flow, and finally getting convinced that I was free of my demons once again, I washed my arm and applied an anti septic on it. Then I lied down on my bed and fell asleep for the third time during this night.
Last thing I thought of was the pineapple juice and a pair of fingers softly combing my hair.
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Here I am!!!
Rock you like a hurricane!!
My body's burning
It starts to shout
Desire's-
"Shut up you god damn phone!!!!!" I screamed that was pretty much muffled by the pillow I had screamed in. But the god damn cell phone didn't listen and continued blasting the stupid song. Finally snapping, I opened my eyes and snatched the phone from my side table.
"What!!??" I snapped into my phone.
"Woah! Someone's grumpy..." Nora's voice replied me.
"Talk. No shit allowed." I snarled.
"Alright alright! Today's the party." What party? I thought to myself. And I think I voiced my self out as well because Nora answered the question.
"The party Reid invited you to!!! Don't you remember!? God Hazel! Its your chance to do something finally. " I was half dead while Nora was blabbering I don't care what into the phone.
"Your point is?" I asked finally. What? I just wanted to sleep okay! I woman's gotta sleep when I woman's gotta sleep.
"Come over in 3 hours, we'll get dressed up together." She said finally.
"Okay." I spoke into my phone and hung up. Dropping my head back into the pillow, I was ready to sleep again. But then Nora's words registered into mind and I bolted up straight onto the bed. Dressing up with Nora is never good. She gets way too hyper. Last time I got dressed up with her for a party, I ended up getting felt up by every guy passing by because of how slutty I had looked. I definitely don't want a repeat of that.
Holy raviolis!!!!!
Talking of raviolis, its been a while I've eaten them. I guess I'll have to visit that Italian restaurant soon now.
Anyways, holy raviolis again!!!!!