'you're lying on the floor of the movie theater crying and i'm the employee who has to tell you another movie starts in five minutes so you have to leave and i'm really sorry but im also confused as to why a documentary on lightbugs affected you so much' au
'i found you sleeping on my balcony when i went out to water my plants why are you here and more importantly how did you get here we're eighteen floors up' au
'i'm having a minor breakdown in the middle of bed bath and beyond and you're a bewildered shopper who wants to buy plates but also to make sure i'm okay bc im wailing a little bit in the kitchenware section' au
'i asked a staff member and they said you've been coming to the pound every day to play with the dog i'm taking home today and that's why you're getting weirdly emotional' au
'why are you dancing in your underwear to kelly clarkson in a public bathroom while brushing your teeth' au