MAYHEM THE TRUE STORY OF WHAT HAPPENED
NorWay 1992
it was snowing in 1992 in norway n mayhem was takin band photos in da forist. den they saw Vark from a band called bursum what was there enemy becus he shot the windows of Mcdonelds and the other guyz liekd mcdonelds a lot n euronymus worked in mcdonelds.
''omg its vark vikerns'' said ded
ded had a blond hair n stuff and he looked all metal and he was a swede n the other guys were fron Norway accept hellhamer who is also half spanish.
''unholy crapp!!'' said euronymus
''I will stab U guyz'' said Vark looking all mad
''omg'' said hellhamer
they went in the band house and recordid some demos of mayhem and den it was relly good n they got a record deel.
Vark was so jelous of it n got a nife n some guns. they dun some live concerts n vark shot the singer ded and he died . they berried him in a grave yard with a tomb stoen what said ''RIP ded loved by many like a good happy meal''
the Vark went in Mcdonelds on euronymus's shift and he was laffing, euronymus said 2 the maneger
''omg that is vark vikerns and he wants 2 blow up mcdonelds u must stop him''
the maneger did not believe him n left.
vark went 2 the counter n asked euronymus for a milk shake n 6 nuggits n fries n a chilli dip.
euronymus was suprised dat vark was so freindly 2 him after he shot his frend in the face and killed him n spitted on mayhems mix tapez.
Hellhamer was in Mcdonelds eating 5 big mac's 20 nuggits 4 fries n a mcflury and he didnt see vark.
Euronymus give vark his oreder and vark sit at the table.
''omg weird'' thort euronymus
then vark got up from teh chair n went 2 the counter.
''wot is wrong?'' said euronymus
''I want 2 retrun my meal its cold thanks'' said vark smilling
''okies'' said euronymus.
suddenly da milkshake explodid n euronymus got stabbed 99 times by 100 nifes hidden in da fries.
''OMG'' said hellhamer.
Euronymus was dead as well but hellhamer was only mild brain dameged and becum a drummer.
Vark was arested for vandalisming McDonelds n went 2 jail for 25 years.
It was a sad day 4 black metal. Now mayhe has got a new singer n drummer n guitar n bursum is still a very rubish band. it is also why all Norway's mcdonelds's say in the window ''frites har kokain i dem'' what means, please do not break or blow up stuff inside the mcdonelds itself.
True story, the end.