Nico
The door locks shut to Olivia's room, and this instant dread takes over me. She's never shut me out like this before, not even in her worst days after her father passed away.
Like a moth drawn to flame, I start walking towards her room. She needs to let me in. I'll beg her if I have to.
My arm is suddenly yanked behind me, reminding me that the door isn't my only barrier to get to her. I try to break free but he already has a good hold on me, especially since he's managed to pin my arm behind my back. "Ruiz, let me go if you know what's good for you."
He tightens his grip on me and shoves me against the wall. I fight him off and manage to elbow him in the stomach with my free arm. Just when I think I have the upper hand, he knocks me to my feet and has me in a locking position against the floor. Dammit, he's much stronger than I remember.
"I'm not going to fight you, Nico. Calm the fuck down."
It's not lost on me that it's the first time he's ever addressed me by my first name, and it takes me a while to understand the full impact of it and what it might mean.
"You're going to scare her. Is that what you want?" he asks when I don't say anything.
I shake my head since I'm still recovering from all the air that's just left my lungs and the last remaining man point I thought I might still have.
"Good. Now get the fuck out like I told you to," he says, releasing me.
I stand up slowly, swallowing my dignity, thinking this day could not get any worse. The way I see it, even if I do try to fight my way to her door, I lose. I lose because this is precisely what Olivia wanted to avoid. I lose because I'm out of my freaking mind right now.
"I can't lose her," I whisper under my breath.
I leave the apartment, making my best effort to not slam the door on my way out. I'm waiting for the elevator when the door opens and closes behind me.
"Nico, wait a minute."
"I have nothing to say to you, Andres," I say without turning.
"I know you don't want to listen to me. I wouldn't want to listen to you either, but I'm trying to help you. Olivia loves you, man. She really does. As much as I hate to admit it, you're good for her. And I know you love her too. I don't know if you ever loved Ana, but I'm never going to apologize for that because you sure as hell never looked at her the same way you look at Olivia. So don't fuck this up."
I nod in acknowledgement before I step into the elevator. I know I should probably feel some type of redemption that I finally got his approval, but I don't. It won't mean anything if she leaves. It won't matter if she leaves me.
My phone dings in my pocket right as I get to my car. My heart leaps in my chest, thinking it's Olivia, but when I check it's a Candy Crush Saga request from some chick I don't even know.
Fuck you, Candy Crush!
I've never played that stupid game in my life. I furiously throw my phone against the sidewalk and don't even feel any satisfaction as it shatters on the ground.
I don't bother picking up what's left of it. It's useless. I huff as I get in my car and drive for what seems like hours. I don't even know where I'm going. I just keep turning left or right, and it always leads to some other road. I wish Olivia was here to tell which way to go, just like she did with her dad when she was younger.
I think about Olivia. I think about how curious she was when she asked Sofia what it was like to study in the United States. I could see the sorrow in her eyes when she told us she decided not to go, even if she didn't want to admit it. How can I ask her to stay after that? I can't. I would never forgive myself.
I begin to panic, realizing that I might not have a choice but to let her go. But how do you let go of the reason you wake up every morning? The reason you try to be a better man? It's impossible.
I decide to call Adrian. He might be the only other person I know to understand this situation. When he was faced with the decision to move away, he did everything in his power to get Sofia to go with him and stay together. I could really use his advice. But then I remember I lost my phone to my ire and curse for being so rash all the time.
That's when I decide I need to get home. I can call him from my laptop. Thankfully my car has a built-in GPS so I'm able to navigate my way back. Otherwise I would have been driving around in circles till morning.
Almost an hour later, I arrive back home feeling completely wrecked. As I walk through the dark corridors, I'm already thinking about how this house is going to feel so empty again once she leaves and how much I'm going to hate it.
I get to my bedroom and strip, wanting to put this day behind me. But the truth is, tomorrow is going to be the same. I'll still wake up with the knowledge that Olivia is going to be leaving me, just like everybody else has.
I head to my desk to get my laptop, and stop short when I see her dark hair against the pillow of my bed.
How is this possible?
I pull back the covers, thinking I must be imagining this, but even in my mind I know I could never create the stunning picture I'm looking at. She's sleeping on my side of the bed, in one of my t-shirts, cuddled up against my pillow.
Just the fact that she's here is crazy in itself, not only because of the way we left things, but even more so because it's a Thursday night and she's tutoring tomorrow early in the morning. I wonder how long she's been here, and I'm so grateful to have given her a key after the last time she came over and Leo had to let her in. I would have kicked myself if she would have had to wait outside for me.
I slip into bed next to her, pulling her warm body against me even though I know I don't deserve it. I kiss her temple, her neck, her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Olivia. I love you so much."
I feel her come alive with my touch, and her incredible eyes flash open at me. Even in the dark I can see them shining like they do.
"I can't lose you," I say, voicing my biggest fear. It's what I should have told her all along.
"You won't," she replies. She smiles at me as she traces a cross over my heart with her finger.
I brush her hair back, amazed at the simplicity of her answer. I trace a cross over hers, promising the same thing in return.
She snuggles into my chest, and all of a sudden, everything seems right with the world again. I still don't know how we're going to work this out, but just the fact that we're in this together and she's here with me makes it all right again.
She hitches her leg between mine, causing her t-shirt to rise up and her panties to come into view. I know we should probably be going to sleep since it's late on a weekday, but it's the last thing I want to do when I'm with her like this. Time might be slipping away from us, and I can't waste another second of it.
I feel her lips on my chest, giving me a gentle kiss, and it's all it takes for my body to react. I'm instantly turned on. This is what she does to me.
I trace my hand over the curvature of her hip, grabbing her leg underneath her knee and rolling her on top of me. She sits up on my lap and lets out the sweetest sigh when she finds me hard beneath her.
"Ah, Nico," she says, biting her lip. I love when she's on top of me because I get to see each and every one of her expressions in their entirety.
I sit up with her, capturing those delicious lips as I bring her closer to me. But she doesn't seem close enough, even as her tongue swirls with mine and her hips rock into me.
My hands sneak underneath her t-shirt and clutch around her small waist. Her skin is so warm, and I want to feel the rest of her body so badly. I caress her stomach with my thumb, and when she lets out a whimper I know she wants it too. My hands move up to cup her breasts as I begin kissing down the curve of her neck. Her shirt is in the way of my destination, so I stop to pull it over her head.
Seeing Olivia topless is something I know I'll never get over. Everything from her shy yet sultry look, to the way her breasts slightly rise and fall as she breathes. It's simply incredible.
I brush her cheek, admiring the beauty in my arms. She wraps her arms around my neck, her chest pressing against mine as she holds me.
"I love you, Nico," she whispers into my ear.
I breathe her in, savoring the moment, knowing she's one in a lifetime. She pulls back to look at me, and I can see it in her eyes. I know love is supposed to be intangible, but it's there. I can see it in the way she looks at me.
"I love you, gatinha," I whisper back. "So, so much."
"I want to feel you. All of you," she says, driving me into a dream-like state with her words.
I don't even have to ask her if she's sure by the determined look on her face as she closes the gap between us and seals her lips with mine.
Everything is a blur after that. Guiding her against the mattress. Removing her panties as I kiss down her breasts. Confirming how ready she is for me as I slide my fingers inside her. Pulling down my boxers. Reaching for a condom from my night table. Moaning as I press against her slick entrance. Her look of absolute trust when I promise to go slow.
The moment finally catches up with me as I realize I'm so afraid of hurting her. It would kill me if I did, especially given her last and only experience. I want this to feel good for her. I want her to enjoy it. I've never felt this nervous in my entire life.
I tell myself to man up and lock away my self-doubts. She wants me. She wants me as much as I want her, and I need to show her how much I love her.
I ease into her, watching her closely for any signs of discomfort. But she doesn't tense up like I expected. Instead, she gasps loudly and moves against me as I slip inside. I can feel her body clamping down on me as she takes me in, and it feels like heaven.
I move back and push completely inside of her in one swift movement. She whimpers, and I think it may be a bad one until I see the excitement in her eyes.
"Okay, baby?" I ask hoarsely, giving her time to get used to me. I need to be completely sure before I start moving, and I need that to be soon.
"Yes," she whispers.
I can't hold back any longer. I move in and out of her, feeling her slowly stretching around me. It's incredible, I've never felt anything like it.
Her mouth falls open as she breathes hard and watches me. I rock into her more forcefully, wanting to gauge her reactions. Her eyes close as her head falls back against the pillow, letting out a sinful moan in the process. My heart slams against my chest. She's enjoying it. It only makes me want to work harder.
I lean down to kiss her, sliding against her at the same time our tongues collide. She lifts up her hips and wraps her legs around me, allowing me even deeper than before. It's almost too much. She's squeezing me so tightly I can barely breathe. I need air. She has no idea what she's doing to me. She needs to know how amazing this is for me.
"You're incredible, Olivia. So fucking perfect."
Her eyes flare and her fingertips dig into my shoulders, pulling me closer as she arches her back. As if I needed any further stimulation from her, visual or otherwise, she kisses my neck and nibbles my jaw, driving me insane. If she keeps this up, I'm not going to last much longer. I need her with me.
Needing to reset, I pull back from her and lift up on my knees. I almost want to cry from the painful loss of contact, but it needs to be done.
She looks understandably baffled, until I grab her from the waist and drag her body towards me. My plan almost backfires as I push into her again and she instantly cries out in pleasure. The sound vibrates through my entire body, and I almost lose it.
I tear my gaze away from her as I set a new, slow rhythm. If I look at her from this angle, it's over.
"God, Nico. It feels so good," she murmurs.
Yes. This is exactly what I wanted. I reach in between us, brushing my thumb against her in slow circles. She cries out again, and this time I know she's close. She's with me now. Exactly where I needed her.
I let myself look at her again, and it's everything I've dreamed of. Her hair wild against the pillow, the look of sheer pleasure on her face, her breathing erratic as she licks her lips.
"That's it, baby." I praise her as she starts to lose herself in the moment.
Her legs tremble against me as her body shoots off, taking me someplace I never even knew existed.