With our stomachs happily loaded with pasta made from heaven, we spent most of the time entering shops, looking at some fancy apparels, trying them on, gaping at the price tag, then awkwardly trudging out of the store without looking back. My wallet's already thinning just by looking at them.
On the other hand, Seb was examining—no, he was scrutinizing every single detail of the clothes he had chosen. He brushed and groped through the fabric, then observed its motifs for quite some time before he threw out many countless remarks.
"The sleeves are too long."
"This one's too plain-looking."
"The floral patterns make it overly crowded."
"Too many patches on the jeans is not a good thing."
"That blouse really doesn't match you, Lynn."
Turns out he's still the fastidious boy who cares a little too much about clothes. I could picture his childhood self as he roasted every single blemish—at least for him—he had found. Geez... and most guys I've seen never cared too much about what they're wearing.
While our group dispersed themselves throughout the huge store, I found myself going after Edward and his friends. Well, it was not like I wanted to buy anything; besides, I have squandered most of my money today, so staring at tops and desperately wishing they were mine were the only options. Temptations might poke fun at me, but so did my allowance.
I shall not allow that to happen.
And as for Edward, I could guess where he was even with my eyes closed. No questions asked, because in all the shops we have been, he would be hanging out in the hoodie section. Otherwise, he would simply trail behind me or the rest of the group without saying a word. How ironic he's easily readable this time...
I watched as Edward pulled out a light blue hoodie from the discounted rack. Holding the hanger, he examined the hoodie up and down, placing it on his body as he observed at his reflection in the mirror. And of course, being the fashionista around here, his best friend was, he quickly approached him.
"Yeaaah no, you look so weird with that." Seb snorted as he huffed out a derisive laugh. "You still sucked at choosing clothes, huh?"
Now that's a little rude...
"Hmm, it looks okay to me," Adelynn objected. "Kinda odd, but still works..."
I don't think that's any better, Lynn...
"I got it. I suck," he growled. "Just shut up and let me find what I want." He stowed the hoodie back to its spot and began rummaging for another one. Did he not learn something earlier, where if he pushed him over the edge, he would get pinched again?
"S-Seb, maybe you should just let Ed be," I said, keeping–well, tried to—my voice as stern as possible.
Honestly, I did not expect him to listen, but much to my surprise, he actually fastened his mouth from uttering more remarks. Instead, he randomly whistled as Edward extracted another black hoodie with orange stripes, but was met with a fleeting glare. In the end, he put it back and never looked at it again.
Oh Seb... I sighed mentally.
Even as sale posters decorated throughout the entire clothing shop, we quickly regrouped and left empty-handed.
This was when Samantha abruptly dragged us all the way to ground floor. Of course, her objective was none other than the large bookstore boasting new novels on their shelves. In a heartbeat, her countenance brightened like a thousand suns as she was pulled into the world of escapism and fantasies that reality never permitted.
Naomi and Mark ran inside with her, while the rest of us stayed outside. And of all places, I just have to be in between Seb and Edward once again. As we were about to pull out our phones, Aly shot up as though she had some announcement.
"Damn, it's 6?!" She cried out, looking at her screen causin heads to turn towards her.
"Don't shout obvious things like it's the end of the world," Seb scoffed, but she gave him the cold shoulder.
"Man, time always goes so fast when we're chilling," Adelynn complained. "So, we're watching the fountain show?"
"Yep! Starts at 6:30. Sam better buy her stuff and get her ass going," retorted Aly. Adelynn and I might pay heed to her, but the guys... they were pretty engrossed in their conversations with each other.
"Y-You know what she's like right? Once she stuck her head in her books, it's impossible to get her out unless we forced her," I suggested while giggling.
"Right, why did I even hope for her to get done..." Aly slapped her face as she groaned. "Rena, I'm gonna go and yank her out. Please wait here with the rest."
"Oh... um yeah, sure," I mumbled inaudibly.
"Just be yourself, alright?" She grinned and threw me a thumbs-up, causing my heart to flutter for no reason.
Well Aly, that's what I had been trying my best to do... Before I could respond to her advice though, she was already sprinting into the store, and here I was, staying behind with Edward and friends. One of her many plans of leaving me with them...
Seb and Adelynn continued chatting, while Edward entirely spaced out; nothing seemed to stir his interest. As someone who had been staring at him from afar, I was not sure how comfortable he was with his hair growing to the side of his face. My bangs used to cover my entire forehead but its sharp edges irritated the heck out of my skin until I shortened them.
I guess he wanted to hide his scarred eye, but he could have used his eyepatch—
"What?" Edward shot me a dagger. Whoops.
"N-Nothing!" Yeah, I did not have a clue what I was doing either.
Suddenly, a distinctive chuckle broke out from beside me, to which I realized it was Seb's. Nice job, he was most likely laughing at how pathetic I was for leering at Edward like a shameless person.
"Chill Ed, she's worried about you," Seb signified, before he turned to me. "Dude hates being stared at for too long."
Unfortunately, that was what I've been doing for years. However, those times where my courage was as miniscule as specks of dust, were gradually fading away, replaced by moments of our interactions.
Minutes later, we finally caught a glimpse of Aly and Mark as they pushed Samantha out of the bookstore. Naomi roamed around and guffawed when Samantha strived to weasel herself out of their grasp, but my best friend's furrowed brows and curled lips had her stepping back.
"W-What did you get?" I asked.
"I got the sequel for the best romance ever, eek!" Samantha squealed, "There was this new sci-fi series I just wanna check out so badly, but this gal right here keeps on bugging me..."
"Nu-uh, so are the other books you're trying to read," Aly fired back, placing her hands on her hips. "We're all gonna be here for decades if we wait for you."
"But it's just a peek!"
"I've heard that excuse 100 times, Sammy."
"And I told you 100 times not to call me that!" She protested, while Naomi doubled over and Mark smiled impishly.
Nonetheless, the eight of us began heading straight for the fountain place in unison. Never did I realize I missed times like these... where we would talk casually and have some fun, pushing off the grim reality behind us. Perhaps this hangout could slowly make out all of those lost times, but had only Raphael joined in, then our childhood group would be in full attendance.
***
When we arrived—thankfully on time—hordes of people had begun forming around the musical fountain located just outside the mall. The loud murmurs of the thrilled children filled the vicinity, as I watched them nagging their parents about when the show would start.
We started assuming our seats, but Aly promptly ushered me to sit between Edward and Seb. With her smiling so playfully, meant it was another scheme of hers. I'm just gonna play along.
The blue sky was set ablaze every minute the sun drifted low over the western horizon. The moon was gradually taking over the heavens to shine through the incoming dusk. Gone were the long daylight hours of summer.
When the prelude music loomed into the scene, the long-winded audience hushed themselves, and so did the kids. Jets of water came shooting out and gyrated to the melody of the ballad, accompanied by flashing lights of colors that fell upon Edward's face. He was clearly watching the show, but that failed to budge his vacant expression. While the reflection of the dancing fountains casted upon his eye, it never sparked any forms of interest.
He doesn't seem to be into it.
Then, that was when my arm felt my phone vibrating inside my bag. Pulling it out and flashing the screen on, my eyes instinctively squinted at the brightness. As they slowly adjusted to the intensity, I was able to catch up with a new message.
Mom: Rena, where are you?
Instantly, I unlocked my phone and texted her back.
Rena: I'm with my friends
Mom: Dad's cooking dinner tonight. We left the restaurant early today. Are you joining in?
Rena: Yup I'll be home soon!
Mom: Great! Him and Jo have been looking for you.
Dad being worried about me was totally understandable... but Jordan? That dude would not even bat an eye on me, let alone having the will to know where I was. He was either too busy gaming with his friends, studying—or at least that was what I was told—or rocking his deafening music. But what was studying for him when he could ace his exams without any effort and win a math competition like it was a piece of cake?
If only my brain could function well like him...
Rena: Haha I'm watching a fountain show rn. Will be back before 8
Mom: okay but what's rn though :p
Mom being Mom... I sighed softly, but I couldn't help but to smile.
Rena: Right now Mom
Mom: Ooooo I see
"Didn't mean to peep in... but your mom's like mine." The moment Seb suddenly spoke out of the blue, I winced. In the middle of all the bright show, I could still hear him snickering to himself. "Always asking what LOL or LMAO means. Bless her heart."
"Yeah, it's kinda funny," I agreed, looking back at the last messages.
A tender smile was his only response.
***
The fountain show ended with a burst of fireworks in the skies. Applauses instantaneously rang throughout the area, accompanied by whistles, while the kids stood up and cheered. Meanwhile, our friends and I all clapped alongside the others, although Edward simply sat and did nothing. He only pulled his hood over his head.
As people began to disperse out, I yawned and stretched both of my arms, already wanting to go home. I decided to bid farewell to Aly and the group, but not before Naomi and Sam teased me with their wiggling brows, and Mark decided to guide my best friend back this time. Meanwhile Edward mouthed something to Seb and Adelynn, before he went after me.
"You're going h-home too?" He only nodded at my question, but then said nothing. Well, he has the same route as mine, after all.
As we both sat on the station and waited for the bus, neither of us bothered to exchange any conversations. Although we casually expressed ourselves throughout the day, we currently preferred getting lost in our thoughts, observing as cars began piling up the streets. To be fair, we had been walking throughout the mall for the entire day, and he looked like he was not in the mood to talk.
I know you wanna talk to him, but don't force yourselves...
When our bus arrived, we quietly entered and paid the fare. Edward chose a seat next to the window, while I sat next to him. He placed his elbow on the space beside the window, leaning against it and stared outside. The bright lights of the mall gradually faded into the night, until there were only street lamps and headlights lighting up the roads.
It was not past my bedtime yet, but my eyelids started feeling a little heavy, even as I rubbed them. Gosh... why am I so sleepy—
"Serena."
Well, the fact that Edward called for me, after nothing but silence, brought me out of my looming drowsiness. His shoulders were tightened, but he managed to speak out.
"Thanks... for today," he mumbled, straightening himself up as he jiggled his bracelet.
"It's n-no problem!" I answered. "W-We've lots of fun in the arcade and got ourselves a couple of small plushies. We even got to play many games together again! Oh, and that pasta restaurant Mark recommended? It was the bestest lunch I ever had!" My mouth proceeded to blabber on and on when I should have shut the hell up. "I finally got to t—"
"But I don't understand..." I was eternally grateful for Edward cutting me off, but my heart practically stopped beating on what he said next. "After what I've done to you back then, why are you still..." He inhaled a sharp breath. "...kind to me? Why... do you wanna be my friend?"
The same exact question he had asked from last Thursday came to the surface; the same one who I left hanging in the air, wishing to be answered. Nevertheless, no matter how much I forced myself to try responding to his concerns, they were all stuck in my throat and refused to come out.
I really, really wanted to say something. All the things he had committed did not even matter anymore. Heck, why did it matter?
Never would it impact my wish to reconcile and be friends with him again. I wanted him to know, I understood his situation and how he had been coping for all these years. And of course, I wanted him to learn of my feelings for the sunny boy who never once minded my stuttering and all my stupid insecurities, and never failed to include me into his circle of friends.
But no, nothing ever slipped out; I could only dwell in my own silence instead. Met with not even a single word, his hands slowly balled into fists as he lowered his head. And unlike last time, he did not dismiss his question.
And so, the whole trip home was dead calm. Tons of chances to be conversing with him had I chosen to reply to him normally, but I fucking ruined all of them at once.
When it was my stop, I promptly punched the red button on the pole. God, I wanna get the hell out of here and lament my mistakes...
"S-See you on Monday," I blurted out before I flew off my chair, holding the handrail when the bus was about to slow down.
"Bye."
I hopped carefully onto the ground, before three people embarked into the vehicle. Edward gazed back at me from the window, and we somehow locked gazes for a few seconds before the bus sped off into the darkness.
Walking back home, I felt nothing but a hollow sensation on my chest.
I screwed... no, I fucked up. Big time.