"Erlebnisse (n.) the experiences, positive or negative, that we feel most deeply, and through which we truly live; not mere experiences, but Experiences."
When Erin went a full minute without being able to see a thing, she started to panic. Everything she knew about the plan flew out of her head as pure terror took over. The walls she couldn't see felt like they were closing in around her. She slid down to the ground and hugged her knees. She shut her eyes tight. She couldn't breathe or think. She was utterly alone.
*****
"Daddy?" Seven-year-old Erin asked her father who was making breakfast for the two of them. Her brother had a soccer game a few hours away and her mother was still at work over seas, so it was just she and her father on a Saturday morning.
"Why did you pick your job?" She asked sitting on the kitchen counter, the smell of pancake batter and bacon filling her nose.
Her father smiled as he flipped an egg he was making for himself. "Because I have a gift for what I do."
"A gift? Like a present?"
He chuckled, "Not exactly. It's like a special talent, something I'm good at."
"Oh..." She said, "Do I have a gift?" She asked innocently.
"Of course you do. Everyone does."
"What is it?"
"Well, that's for you to find out." He said stirring the pancake batter.
"When will I know?"
Her father looked over at her intently, "Everyone's gift reveals itself in different ways and times."
"I hope mine is special like yours and grandpa's."
"Well it does run in the family," Her father smiled at her, his eyes bright.
"I'm going to be the best!"
"I'm sure you will have your grandfather and I running for our money," Her father laughed. She loved her father's laugh. It was deep and true, making her feel warm inside. After a moment his face turned serious. "But I want you to remember Erin, it's not about how extraordinary your gift is, it's about what you do with it. Will you be selfish with it? Or will you use it to help other people?"
"I wanna help people! Just like you and grandpa!"
Her father smiled kindly at her, "I hope you hold onto that. You have something very special inside of you, a light in here," He pointed his giant finger to the place where Erin's heart was inside of her body. "When the time comes I hope you will use it. No matter what life throws at you, no matter where you find yourself, there's always light. Even if you can't see it, it's there.
"How do I find it if I can't see it?"
"You look for the light a different way."
*****
Look for the light.
Erin slowly opened her eyes, allowing them to adjust to the darkness.
Look for the light. Her father's voice echoed in her mind.
Erin focused. She may not have had her sight, but she had other tools to guide her. She expanded her senses and reached for any electric pulse she could find.
Erin. Bucky's voice echoed into her mind. Erin! He repeated. Erin shot up from where she sat. Blindly, she reached for the wall of the passage and started to follow the electric current.
"I'm coming Bucky." She said to the darkness.
*****
Five minutes later she was still stuck in the passage. She had to turn left and then right two times. She had felt a few doors, but all of them were locked and she couldn't feel the source of the electric current in any of them.
Finally, she turned left one more time and saw a low light at the end of the hallway. This was it.
Erin jogged towards the door still keeping her hand on the wall. Once she reached it she reached for the handle. It was unlocked.
She threw open the door and the little light that was in the room made her shut her eyes. She blinked slowly, letting her eyes adjust to the light of the room and she observed her surroundings. She was in a lab of some kind. There were computers and monitors and wires everywhere. She felt the source of the electric current flow from the middle of the room.
Erin slowly made her way deeper and deeper into the lab. At the end of the room, there was a black chair where Bucky occupied the seat.
"Bucky!" Erin yelled starting to run towards him.
He saw her and panic seized his face."Erin, no!" He yelled back.
Erin felt it before she could do anything. Suddenly, a circle of force field energy shot up around her. The energy she felt around her attacked her senses and her senses were off the charts. She almost buckled under the sudden burst of electricity she felt. When she regained her balance she tok in her surroundings turning in a full 360. She was trapped in a cylinder force field of some kind .
"Well, well, well," A voice said from behind Erin.
She looked around to see a young man in a white lab coat walking towards her. He was flanked by three dark soldiers. They wore the same thing as the men who had attacked her, Sam, Wanda, and Steve in the abandoned HYDRA base in Romania.
"Just the person I was looking forward to seeing." A wicked smile played on the man's surprisingly handsome face. He couldn't be more than 35 with dark hair and eyes black as night, "Did you get the flowers I sent you?"
Erin felt all the color drain from her face.
"Forgive me," He said with a distinct German accent, "I am being rude. You probably don't know who I am."
The man came to a stop in front of her, his dark soldiers maintaining their distance. The only thing separating them was the wall of energy. Erin kept her eyes on Bucky over the man's shoulder. She quickly tried to compose herself and gather her thoughts. It wouldn't do her or Bucky any good if she couldn't think. "I don't believe I've had to pleasure." She finally replied, trying to keep her voice from shaking.
"I suppose you could guess who I am." He said tauntingly, like this was some kind of game. Fine. She would play along.
Reluctantly, she tore her eyes from Bucky and looked at the man in his black eyes, "You wouldn't be one of Dr. Krav's followers, would you?"
His wicked smile grew wider, "On the contrary, I am thee Dr. Krav."
Erin's stomach dropped and she couldn't help it as her eyes went wide. He noticed the confusion and said, "I am Dr. Krav, just as my father was Krav, and his father before him. My grandfather was the one that designed the serum in the Winter Soldier's arm." He nodded towards Bucky behind him. "And we have been perfecting his serum every since."
Erin tried to disguise her surprise, "The family business means a lot I assume?"
"Something like that." He smirked at her.
Erin's eyes flashed back to Bucky for just a moment, but it was enough for Krav to notice.
"Ahh," He turned around to look at him, "Don't worry about your friend just yet, you and I are having a chat. No harm will come to him."
"What do you want with him and Steve? I mean he is the reason you went to all this trouble, right?" She had to keep him talking. She needed time to think, a way to contact the team. Anything.
"The Captain? You think I am after that tiny patriot?" Krav laughed like she had said something funny, "Oh my you really have no idea do you?"
His words made something feel very wrong in the pit of Erin's stomach.
"I will say, Captain America would be a nice collectable, and the Winter Soldier would be a valuable weapon, but you Erin McCall, are the real prize." He purred the words as if they gave him pleasure, as if she was a shiny trophy he was mere steps away from acquiring.
Erin saw Bucky's face twist in anger as he tried to free himself from his restraints.
"Me?" She said shocked, trying not to empty the contents of her stomach. "What do you mean?"
"Our fathers worked together at S.H.I.E.L.D. did you know that?" He said avoiding her question starting to circle her, like a lion eyeing their prey.
"You're father was part of the HYDRA infiltration?" She accused.
Krav scoffed, "No, our family has not had dealings with HYDRA since the last World War. He infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D. for his own purposes, specifically your father's research."
Erin suddenly remembered those black eyes.
Krav saw the realization come over her face, "Yes, my father was Dr. Smith."
She had known Dr. Smith her whole life. He died in the HYDRA attack with her father and brother. He had been her father's friend and colleague. He had come to her grandfather's funeral. He had actually hugged her. Erin swallowed the bile that rose in her throat.
"We've been watching you Erin." He said quietly. It sent chills down her bones and for the first time in a long time, Erin was truly afraid. "Just like we watched your grandfather... we also knew what he was and the talents he possessed. From the first time daddy brought you into the lab we've been keeping tabs on you. And you never disappointed. You were nothing short of a protégé. We knew your work would be invaluable to us one day all we had to do was be patient. Then, everything blew to hell when HYDRA was revealed to have been part of S.H.I.E.L.D. all along. Even we were unaware of the threat. We simply decided to be patient a while longer. We knew your mother would thirst for vengeance and we served it to her on a silver platter."
Erin wanted to scream. "You killed my mother?" She would tear him apart. She would tear this whole place to the ground.
"Oh no," He looked amused, "But we knew who wanted to. We simply gave them... the tools to dispose of her. Once mommy dearest was out of the way, we were going to come find you but... you disappeared. For three years we looked for you. You were a difficult challenge to track, but guess where we found you?"
Erin already knew, but Krav continued, "When you decided to sneak into an old HYDRA facility we found you. And to make things ever sweeter your ability to manipulate electricity considerably intrigued me. We never in a thousand years would have guessed you would inherit your grandfather's talents."
"What do you plan to do then? Use me for your evil plan?" He turned her head to watching him continue to circle her.
"We wish you to work for us, with us. Together we could change the way the world sees robotics. We will become gods among men with our creations." He stopped in front of her, every ounce of sincerity in his eyes. He was truly insane.
It isn't about how extraordinary your gift is, it's what you do with it. Her father's words echoed in her mind. "Fat chance." She said.
"We thought you might say that." Dr. Krav smiled wickedly and turned to walk towards Bucky.
Bucky looked murderous. He thrashed against his restraints, but not even his metal arm could break them.
"Perhaps you need a little... motivation." Krav pulled a lever next to the chair and a thick black band started to creep its way towards Bucky's forehead.
Erin had seen that chair and band before. She had felt it against her skull. Her stomach turned to ice as panic seized her.
"No," She said, "No, no, no! Leave him alone!" She yelled.
"Erin!" Bucky yelled just before the black band separated and wrapped around his head.
"Don't!" Erin screamed again. Tears pounded against her tear ducks. Every ounce of courage he had two minutes ago vanished. She couldn't let this happen. She wouldn't. She tried to shut down the power of the electric chair, but whatever this force field was made of, it was neutralizing her power.
There was nothing she could do as Bucky started screaming.
"There are different kinds of darkness. There is the darkness that frightens, the darkness that soothes, the darkness that is restful.
There is the darkness in lovers, and the darkness in assassins.
It becomes what the bearer wishes it to be. It is not wholly bad or good."
-Sarah J. Maas