"Maine, get the hell out of my couch!"
Her sister's exaggerated way of waking her up echoed through the entire apartment. Her head feels like it's going to blow up any second.
"Uuuggghhh.. Don't sta--"
"Don't start with me with 'don't start', Menggay! Bumangon ka nga dyan!"
"Ano ba, Coleen! Ang ingay mo! Ang aga aga pa eh!"
"Oo, maaga pa. Para bukas. Menggay, alas onse na. It's actully almo--"
"WHAT?? ALAS ONSE NA?"
Like a drowning cat, she jolted up out of the couch and ran into restroom as quickly as she can that she didn't noticed the coffee table on her way and accidentally bumped her legs on the edge.
"Aaahhhhhh sweet baby juices! ARAAAAY!"
"Buti nga."
"Coleen, sasapakin na kita!"
"Bakit ka ba kasi nagmamadali? Nicomaine, it's a Sunday. Hindi mo kailangang magmadali para sa shop mo. Kalmahan mo, bes."
"Ano?"
"Ewan ko sa'yo. Lasing ka pa ba?"
She bent over to grab the closest throwpillow to her and put it to good use. She threw it right at Coleen's big head.
"Aray! Ano ba!?"
"Leche ka, taba. Sunday pala, bakit kung makagising ka, akala ko naman kalagitnaan ng linggo! Ang sakit sakit ng ulo ko, bwisit ka."
"Siraulo pala 'to eh. Tanghali na, yan pa rin gown na pang-abay mo sa kasal ang suot suot mo habang nakahilata ka sa sofa. Tulo pa laway mo, kadiri ka."
"Pake mo ba?"
"Pa'no pag dumating bigla si Mike dito? May spare key pa naman yun. Baka biglang tumakbo yun paalis kapag yung mukha mo ang bumungad sa kanya. Nakanganga ka pa kanina."
She threw another pillow at her.
"Grabehan sa pagdescribe ng pagtulog ko ha. At tsaka bakit pupunta si Mike dito sa apartment ko? Bakit may spare key yun, Nicoleen?"
"Gusto mong sapakin kita? Apartment ko 'to, bangag ka!"
"Ha?"
She scanned the entire room. Comfy couch, coffee table, family pictures.. and a threadmill.
"Oh." *Kanfermd. Not my apartment.*
"Ano ka ngayon? Mag-ayos ka na nga't umuwi ka na. Baka dumating si Mike."
"Arte neto. Teka nga. Bakit ako nandito? Pa'no ako nakauwi dito sa apartment mo? Yung bag ko?"
"Kalmahan mo, bes. Kung makatanong ka, para naman alam ko lahat. Ayun yung bag mo sa gilid ng couch."
"Okay? So pa'no nga ako nakarating dito?"
"Hinatid ka ni Tisoy."
"Tisoy? Sinong Tisoy?"
"Gago ka, hindi mo kilala?"
"Ay hindi, kilala ko. Bestfriends kami, lagi kaming magkasama, katabi kong natutulog kanina. Upakan kita, tatanong ko ba kung kilala ko?"
"Daming sinabi, ba yan. Basta hinatid ko nung gwapong tisoy kasi ito raw yung ibinigay mong address bago ka raw nagpass out, although pagdating nyo dito, napakaingay ng bunganga mo. Loka-loka ka, nagpaubaya ka na rin lang habang lasing dun sa gwapong tisoy na may 6feet deep na dimple, hindi mo pa tinodo. Dapat dun ka na sa apartment mo nagpahatid. Gago, mukang yummy si kuya. Grabe, nakapolo pero yung bice-- ARAY KO NAMAN!"
"Sino ngayon ang maraming sinasabi? Sumbong kita kay Mike dyan."
"So ganito kasi yun, bes.."
"Oh, edi tumigil ang harot mo."
"Wag ka na nga magulo! Ayun nga, bandang alas dos ng madaling araw yata nung nagsimula kang mangalampag sa pintuan ng apartment ko. Napakaingay mo, jusko. Bubuhusan sana kita ng tubig bago ka pumasok kaso pagbukas ko, may nakaalalay sayo'ng pogi. Tapos ayun, humilata ka nalang sa sofa. Nakakahiya ka."
"Ano daw yung pangalan nya?"
"Ay nakalimutan ko eh."
"Langya ka, hindi ka man lang ba nag-alala para sakin? Did you check my bag bago yun umalis?"
"Maine, even if I did, hindi ko rin naman alam kung anong nasa bag mo bago ka dumating dito. So, I wouldn't know if he took anything. As if naman may kayamanan ka dyan, kung makaarte ka. Besides, based on what he was wearing, mukhang he was at the wedding, too. Most probably, kakilala yun ni Kristoff. So, sya nalang ang tanungin mo."
"Hindi ko talaga maalala yung pangalan?"
"Hindi nga!"
"Wala ka talagang kwenta."
"Mas lalo ka. Umalis ka na nga, maglilinis pa ko dito. Dun ka na sa condo mo magtulog. Ikaw, Menggay, alak pa more. Inaaraw araw mo na yan, isusumbong kita kila Tita."
"Give me a break, Coleen. You know why I'm like this."
"I do. And it's a lame excuse. Get your shit together, Maine. Please. He's not worth it."
"This is not about him anymore and you know that, too."
"Well, kung dahil yan sa tearducts mong manhid, then it's an even more lame excuse, Maine. I know you're having a tough time but don't be too hard on yourself."
"Mmhmm. Alis na ko. Balik ako mamayang gabi ha. Sleep over. Okay?"
"Sige, but call me first. Baka umalis kami ni Mike eh. I'll probably be home a little late."
"Arte. Sige, I'll call you. May damit pa naman ako dito, diba? Bihis muna ko."
Maine went to Coleen's room and started to look for some clothes she left in her sister's apartment. They have been leaving separately for 2 years now, but they still do sleepovers during weekends.
As soon as she finished freshing up, she grabbed her things and head to the door.
"Alis na ko, taba. Baboy."
"Gago!"
"Babye pala. Sarreh bes. Hahahaha!"
She booked for an Uber and when she got out of the building, her driver arrived. She tried to remember what happened last night but the only thing she could recall was that she drowned herself in alcohol. Last night was a celebration of love, and happiness, and contentment, and many other amazing things but none of it fits whatever state she's currently in. She basically feels like she's in a void and she couldn't figure things out.
She arrived in her building in just 20 minutes and she was in the hallway leading up to her condo when she received a text message from Coleen that made her put a stop to her step and her breath.
Message: Maine, naalala ko na. It was RJ. His name was RJ.
"RJ?"
And just like the cliché thing that happens in movies, bits of what happened last night came rushing back to her head..
"I jon't gerit.. Vaket may mga taong sobraaaang saya taposh here I am. Misherable ash fuck. Andrew, you asshole."
"Mmhmm.."
"Eksyushmi? You have shamting to shey?
"Huh? No. Sorry. You can continue."
"Hey, mister. Stop ogling."
"It's RJ."
"Whatever. May gusto kang sabihin eh. Go ahead."
"First of all, I'm not ogling you. And yes, I have something to say. Lovelife issues, right? I just think that every girl could have the exact love life she wants."
"That's broad, dude. Are you saying that it's my choice to be single, miserable and hung up with someone guy who shattered my heart?"
"Yes."
"What?"
"When you are ready to let go - to be unsingle and unmiserable - you will."
"Ugh, such a guy thing to say."
"Guy thing to say? What does that even mean?"
"Or maybe not. Baka naman hindi ka lalaki. Bading ka noh?"
"Are you serious right now?"
"Aaahhh! You were not ogling ME. You were ogling my DRESS! Hahahahaha!"
"Pwede ba, Miss. Yung tawa mo naman. At hindi ako bakla."
"Weh? Ayieeeee.. Bet mo 'to, beks? Beige off-shoulder dress. Pakak! Gandara noh? Bet mo? Be--"
And then he gave her a rude interruption. He kissed her and sweep her off her feet.
Yup. Not gay.
"Oh shit."
•~•~•~•~•
A/N:
It's been a week since the last update tapos super sabaw pa. Sorry, guys. Will do better with the next one. But here's for now. Sana nagustuhan nyo yung sabaw. 😅🙈