Msg: Sometimes what I want to write doesn't always come out how I planned but, it always works out some way ..
Enjoy 💜 ..
Last time on Illmatic ..
~ I will love you beyond forever
To try to explain or define
what I feel inside is impossible.
I wouldn't know where to begin, it has no end. And though I can't find the
ways to tell you how much I love you.
Without a doubt I will love you all of my days. ~
Illmatic Rain ...
Sweet spirit healing laughs and giggles galloped around them as, the melanated two intertwined to their own beat. Enormous sugar maple trees tall in stature and bright in color gave just the right amount of natural paradise, on the Fall evening.
The cocoa butter scented princess looked up at the heavens, admiring the footprints across it as the fervent sun slowly descended, within the delicate hues.
The humming of her lover, nature's
birds , and other creatures were the perfect harmony to her ears.
A slazy smile curves her ruby lips.
" Earth to Thickness, the prince's colossal hand firmly squeezed hers as the other gave attention to her plump backside, you always leaving me here by myself." His lips smacked and his eyes give her a look that always makes her crack up. "That's not true, her suga' lips chuckled at her goofy cackles, baby you make me happy too."
" Is dat righ' ?" He velvets as he twirled her around the rich ground in steps. The princess hummed in agreement running her fingers through his silky shea curls.
"Yo, you know I've always had pieces of happiness, but your happiness in a whole." The expression upon his tawny features was a breath of fresh air ceasing the breezy air that blew her dress every now and then.
" You always tryna butta' a nigga up , huh ?" He picked up the pace making her feet lift from the earth ; earning screams of delight. "Is it working?"
"Ion know , a slick expression developed upon her charismatic prince with the shrug of his shoulder, close ya eyes Thickness and I'll show you." Unhesitantly her mahogany lids closed awaiting something sweet.
"I love you." wrapped around her willingly. "I- before her tongue could
make up the letter 'L' - an unfathomed
amount of pain enveloped her right shoulder; volts of fire.
~ ~ ~
" You came through for me ?" The femmine voice thumped through anxiously. The young terra cotta toned woman ran her dainty French-tipped nails over her golden brown seawaves. She thought with contemplation 'To lie or not to lie.'
"See ... not exactly, she blew out a shaky breath, now before you start buggin' I just wanna say that I love you." Sweetness' tone laid on thick apologetically .
The line was silent for a moment Sweetness had to check to see if her madam was still on. She prepared herself for the bitch match. "What do you mean not exactly? What you do Ron?" Shock filled Sweets causing her mouth to gap at the apparent stress that hit her eardrum.
She was loss for words.
Ronnie knew that her sister had been waiting to catch Slim slippin' for ages now. The one time that she did Sweetness fucked it all up." I thought I shot that mufucka but, I missed and hit the chick he was dancing with." embarressment flushed her complexion. "Breeze was-" her big sister scoffed not even hearing that.
Sweets knew that sorry explanation wasn't gonna fly, but it was worth the try.
"Yo, I don't wanna hear the excuses. You should of been on your shit Ronnie; you never fuckin' miss ! Now your tigger finger is all wobbly bobbly all of a sudden."
"I know I wanted to get 'em for you I swear, but things happened."
Sweets is her sister's keeper to the fullest. Maybe even to a fault when she became a hit woman for her and, her mans in secrecy. It was the move back then when Ronnie was reckless and just didn't give a fuck about not a damn soul.
Soon enough, her perspective of herself elevated when she birthed a beautiful babygirl called after her father, that is a flame created from love. Now that she's a family woman she figured 'When you know better you do better.' So, Sweetness buckled down, but still could pop a bullet or two when shit got outta hand.
"You know what I'm not even mad at you." She admitted quietly.
"I know you feel obligated, she continued on as Ronnie listened attentively , but this bone is between me and Slim. I'll find a way to handle it myself he gotta see me.
I'm a woman of my word so I won't ask you to put no one else in the dirt. You got a family now I understand that. You are offically retired, bitch." She chuckled to lighten her young sister up.
Ronnie smiled one of slight relief.
The word 'bitch' didn't even faze the young women as, it was just simply a way of calling eachother 'girl'.
"Thank you I appreciate it but, I need you to cut me my last fat check you feel? I need my coins because I did hit somebody close to him. I know his ass is tight cause he don't have not one clue who did it." Ronnie boosted shamelessly.
"You know I come clutch, money not even a problem. Just watch yaself and keep ya ears to the streets. I don't want nothing happening to you too. We all we got." She advised. Sweets already knew this but, her sister always loves to remind her. You could never be too careful. "I know this, you just call me if you need an extra foot to dig up his ass, ahite?"
Her hate still ran deep for Slim, for
the grimey shit he did to her sister.
Especially since she was the one to introduce them thinkin' he was a cool dude. "I'll think about it , they giggled
together at sweetness' craziness it's just the way she says shit, you gotta cut some ties with Sweetness now. You a family woman now doing big things. I hear you just opened up a shop Ms. Royalty Only.
I give mad props when they are due.
I'm proud of you Ronnie."
"Well you know I'm tryna be one of them wholesome mufuckas. I'm taking it one day at a time."
Sweetness informed her sister pouring herself one more shot of Crown for the night. "That's all you can do. You know the streets don't fuck with us that tough now days."
"You sho' right. I miss you, we need to keep in touch more since it's not all about business with you anymore." Ronnie confessed from the confines of her heart. "Yea ?, I'll keep in touch more. I love you Ronnie bitch."
Her big sister declared with goofiness but sincerity. " I love you too bitch, always." Ronnie toasted her glass to the air before she downed it.
~ ~ ~
My eyes shot open as if it were burdensome, to the intense torture that my right shoulder was inflicting upon me. 'What happened ?
Why am I in my room at my Pop's crib ?' My nerves and sweat glands went into overdrive when a gauze with my own blood gushing came in contact with my sight.
'Somebody tried to smoke me ?!
Since when ?'
The only fragment of my memory
that flashes back was me and Pops two-steepin' on the floor.
'I told you not to go a hardhead makes an soft ass.' Floated around my conscious wagging its finger at me.
The bad ass didn't oppose against the innocent angel. She was crying in the corner right now. My limbs felt as if they were vibrating when I attempted to move. "Somebody help me !" I vocalize but it reverts back to me falling on deaf's ears.
This is sad my first night out tryna
get my feet wet in the city and I take a hit. This pain right here has me thinking: 'Ion wanna go out no more this shit is for the birds.' Whoever it was tried to chew my ass up for good,no spit. This shit hurt. All praises to the Most High that I still have breath in my being. That's all I care about right now to be real.
"Ah, delivered hoarsely in low
pants, On G I know for a fact someone is on standby outside my door."
My collection of stuffed animals stared back at me undoubtley saying: 'And if somebody is they can't hear yo weak ass. You gushing all over the silk spread and shit. Yo, get it together !'
Even the salty water in my eyes pained me. My shoulder contracts with a sporadic pang so unbearable that my teeth grinded against one another. Letting off a wail so falsetto that it could of demolished the floor to ceiling windows in my room that shows the empty indigo sky.
'Mama I need you. If you were
here I wouldn't have to go through this mess .' Hushed sobs wrecked havoc
over me. I need my bestfriend ! Where the hell is he ?
Oh my goodness what if he got knock'd too ?! What was I gone do, I can't lose the kid. My mental went on a rampage of a grip of emotions. One conclusion stuck out like a soar thumb. This is all Pops fault of -fuckin'-course ! It has to be. Boy, if he wasn't such a half-steppa; shit maybe even the scum of Grimey York we wouldn't be in this predicament. The way he treats me sometimes he gotta be. A huge chunk of me is hoping that my Pops is goin' to shit but, a small bit of me wanted him to be seeking the bold mufucka who left me with a jacked shoulder.
The eerie creak of the cocaine double doors to the entrance of my bedroom causes my stiff neck to sigh in relief.
"Babygirl, from the sound of things I guess it's time to clean you up."
The man before me stung my hearing and sight with recognition.
'Ugh ! Why, why ,why ?'
" Doctor Chase at your service." He declared strolling in with his buffoonery ,and woundcare supplies. A grin set upon his fugly face as my pupils pierced him with disgust.
If he wasn't such a fool we could of had something special. 'Real special.'
I'm not bitter he just got me twisted. We kept our lil' affair on the down low for a longtime. But he went and fucked it all up! Like the narc he is, he dipped on me and sided with Ava. I will never forget the day they sunt me back with my tail tucked in between my legs. I got the dog shit beat out of me. My potential mans turned into a stone cold snitch bitch like the snap of a finger to a bomb track. Ever since I've avoided his fugly ass like the plague.
" Chase , to even say his name
radiated chills of disdain all over me, don't come in here like shit is gravy and rainbows. Get out you know I don't rock with you like that." My scratch of a tone seethed with the minimum amount of energy I could project. "Baby don't be so hostile, he looked quite amused, I'm only trying to take care of you my woman." He cooed dabbing the tears from my face. The touch of his filthy hand causes me to snatch my head away from him turning it away completely.
" Don't call me that you ol' dirty
bastad ! I don't want you here." I expressed in whispers of exasperation. Unexpectedly his hand clutched my cheeks between his suffocating fingers. "You still mines you understand ?, He tried to look into my eyes but they only rolled at his bullshit like 'Nigga please !',
Nobody can take care of you like me Alijah. Stop being so hard up baby. I know you still got love for me." Chase let off with confidence all through his smooth tone. I flung his hand off of me with my good hand.
"Get your hand off 'a me , I'd rather bleed to death then to have him care for me, Nigga when you had me you didn't know how to keep me. Now that's tired ahite ?" I blew off like the shrug of a care that I didn't give.
" I wasn't tired when I was
the only man G enough to remove the bullet, and patch your ungrateful ass up. Was I ?" He boasted making
it known with his chest stuck out.
' Whateva'! Could this be true ?'
On the real, I'm grateful that Chase saved me. The Most High just put that spirit and courage on him to handle business. I won't let him know that though undoubtedly. The nigga will get big-headed as he is already thinking he earned some brownie points. 'No nigga you didnt.'
I still don't trust G. I never will you just can't do that to sweethearts thats built like me. He ain't nothin' to me but, the past and a lesson learned.
That's it, I was too good to dude.
" Shut yo shady ass up, I giggled
the sound that my scratchy voice would allow, come over here and nurse me up." I was frontin' like a mufucka. I'll let him touch me just this once. Chase's face scrunched up taken aback. " I'm not feelin' this Alijah she too stubborn and funky. Where my sweet honey at ?" He asked snatching the gauze off deliberately.
" Ah !" I hissed at the cool air circulating around my wound.
I watched as he cleansed hastily but efficiently with care. " You evil. Im telling on you." I moaned from the stinging sensation. If I could measure the hole it's between a nickel and a dime.
"Cry baby, cry baby." He teased
opening a jar of what it looks to me to be raw honey. I smacked my lips annoyed "Kiss my ass boy." Chase chuckled dipping a cotton swab inside. "You know I still love you right? I never stopped loving you girl." Chase confessed suddenly.
"Mmm, I flinched and groaned as he spread the honey around and inside the wound, My love for you ran dry long ago.You could never have me again." 'Ever !' My lids squeezed from the throbbing within. The honey is doing it's magic.
Chase's sigh of defeat filled the room. I have a feeling he will never stop chasing me. His ass is persistent as hell.
" Be real with me Alijah, he halts the wrapping of my shoulder after securing the gauze, if I hadn't fucked up like I did could I have had you?" His pretty browns bore into mine. " Ask yaself this Big Man, did you always keep it real with me or, was you playin' me the whole time ?"
'I still hate his punk ass!'
I could never get an I'm sorry.
---------------------------
Thank you for reading !!! 💜
I hope you enjoyed ...
Show some love ..
Vote , comment 💜💜 ..
- love ..