100 FOLLOWERS!! AND ALMOST 200+ READS! THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH :D
I'm still deciding whether or not to go the way I was intending to go with this story, so please bear with me.
P.S I'm sorry it's so sad like 98% of the time agsjdfkdku there's not much I can do/control when I let myself write freely.
But I hope you'll still enjoy!
-M
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Another cloudy Saturday afternoon seems to roll by again. There seems to be a pattern, but it's not like Zayn is paying much attention to it anyways.
He's finally letting himself be more free with his schedule, allowing his parents to come over a few days ago. They brought his two little sisters along, and he doesn't remember the last time they've cried so long on his chest clutching him so tightly, like they're afraid he'll disappear.
That same day his mom excused himself into the kitchen so he wouldn't see her crying, and his father sat on the couch across from him looking down. Zayn's encounter with his family gets him upset again. And not toward them but at himself for making them sad. He can't seem to stop hurting those he cares for.
But that's the past now. It's Saturday, and before going out into the woods he wanted to make some quick rennovations on his garden. He realized a few weeks back that he loved flowers. Whether it was drawing them, observing them, or planting them, he enjoyed doing it. It might be a bit silly, but Zayn really does feel at ease when there's flowers around him. Those colorful plants made him feel at peace with his surrounding even if on the inside everything was threatening to raze.
- - -
So maybe the word 'fate' has a funny tune to it. Defining it as something that is "meant" or "destined" to happen, out of a person's control. That confused Zayn because he didn't know why fate was being cruel to him so far in his life, but when he feels a familiar blow at the back of his head where he was kneeling down tending to his garden, he knew right then and there that fate hates him very much.
Zayn stumbles forward and before he falls on his flowers and destroys them, he quickly puts his hands out to control his body. When the world stops spinning and he could see again, he looked behind him.
And there she was, again.
"I'm so sorry! I- My brother- crap... Are you okay? Oh my God oh man..."
It sort of felt like déjà vu, being hit on the head, the girl from two weeks ago running toward him, her rambling about apologizing, the slight pain on his head. Fate?
But she soon started giggling which then turned into laughter. She had a cute smile and her eyes crinkled up, like there was still a light in her life. He felt a bit envious, there wasn't any light for him anymore.
"I'm not laughing at you, if that's what you're thinking. I just find it a bit funny how I've hit you twice on the head with this stupid red ball yet I don't even know your name yet."
"It's Zayn." he hears himself say as he stands up, brushing the dirt off of his jeans and hands.
"I'm Kate. Nice to properly meet you."
Zayn's looking at her again. She's just as beautiful as he thought she was two weeks ago. And Zayn really wants to punch himself for thinking about her when he shouldn't be wanting anything to do with her in the first place.
"You're gonna pay my medical bills if you're going to hit me everytime we speak."
Kate laughs. And weirdly enough Zayn suddenly wants to always make her laugh and smile.
"I call that really bad flirting," she replies playing with the red ball in her hands, "I guess it's the only way I know how to approach you."
"Not the best strategy, but I like your originality. How come I hardly see you?"
"Oh well, I don't live here. This is my dads house, and I come every two weeks to visit him cause you know, court order blah blah blah. It's a bit boring around here compared to my house."
"Well I like it here."
"Maybe you'll be the reason I'll like it here."
They're suddenly interupted by a loud honk out of a blue car parked in front of Kate's house.
"Katelyn! Katelyn come right here this second, it's time to go!"
Kate rolls her eyes toward the general direction of the woman's voice calling her from inside the car.
"Sorry, that's my mom. We're meant to leave now, well actually yesterday, but I got her to push our departure date for today."
"Why?"
"I... I wanted to get to know you more I guess. I dunno, you interest me, but I wasted all of yesterday planning how to talk to you when I could have just hit you in the head earlier," She joked, but she still held truthfullness in her eyes.
Zayn felt a blush spreading across his cheeks, and immediately looked down at his feet.
"I'm not at all interesting really."
Kate scoffed, "Are you kidding? You're not letting on much information about yourself than you think, Zayn. Maybe soon you will. But I respect you enough to let you speak when you're ready."
"How do you even know I'm hiding things from you? It's only been what, 2 days since we've talked?"
"Because your eyes and smile look tired and sad. I know that much."
Zayn's shaking his head at this point and it's happening again. He's feeling a panic arise because he doesn't like people figuring him out. He's shutting down. Liam. Liam. He needs Liam right now.
"Stop stop stop. I think you should go."
Kate's facial expressions look hurt. And no, this isn't how it's meant to be, but since when is Zayn one to make people happy? All he does is hurt and do them wrong, he's feeling weak. Painful memories are flashing back now and almost too much to control. It feels like a lifetime that Kate and Zayn are staring each other down.
"I will. See you next week, maybe. Bye Zayn."
Kate runs back into her dad's house and gets her bags off the porch door before entering her mom's car with her younger brother. Zayn stays there watching their car pull out of the driveway and into the empty road before he lets himself breathe again.
He runs into his house to get his already packed Jansport out of his closet only to then run out the door and into the woods.
The clearing of the woods is empty, so he wastes no time in calling his friend to come out. He needs Liam now, tears are pooling around his eyes and not resisting the urge he pulls out a cigarrette and breathes out a long puff of the toxic fumes.
Liam emerges from behind, and sits on Zayn's left side as always. Even though Zayn is looking forward he senses his presence, and begins telling Liam everything from today.
Liam listens and nods his head in understanding, he tells Zayn all the things he wants and needs to hear. It's times like these that lower his anxiety attacks and makes him see the world more clearly.
"You have me, okay? You'll always have me Zayn."
Zayn closes his eyes and drops the cigarette onto the floor. He can't look at him right now. He wants to believe Liam, he really does. But at the end of the day whether Zayn wants to make himself believe that Liam will always be there for him, he knows he won't. He wants to hug Liam so much it burns his heart and throat, he wants the warmth his bestfriend used to offer to him.
"Stop thinking so much, Zayn. It kills."
So Zayn lets himself stop thinking. At least for a little while longer.
- - -