Are any of my readers The 1975 fans? If so, what's your favourite song by them? Mine would be like Somebody Else or Anobrain af.
They make me emo af --
what are you expecting to happen between narry and zouis? can you guess what ship is going to make an appearance soon? You'll be rather surprised tbh .. and no it's not nouis. although they're my faves.
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chapter twenty-eight. HOFBrINCl.
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After we both simultaneously pull away from the other like a magnet, it gets awkward. Harry nor I internally fight ourselves not to look into each other's eyes, but I can feel the powerful gaze from Harry's eyes beaming onto my exposed skin. Like the sun's rays in the summertime weather. As if we're far away from the shade, staring eye-to-eye with the sun but that's uncommon.
My fingers fumble with each other yet I don't bother to budge. Because budging means defeat. Although I've practically surrendered for kissing Harry back. Willingly. "Hi," I mumble politely. Almost pathetically.
Harry scoffs melodramatically. "Now you're willing to talk to me," he says judgementally. That's when I decide to look at my kind-of best friend with a mocking scowl on my face as his. There's no room for judgement — that goes for the both of us.
I don't bother to say my thoughts. Already beginning to slide back into the cracks of passiveness. Harry seems to take notice of that because his aura transitions. His eyes glisten towards me. "Look. I didn't mean that," he counters. Harry picks up a brown paper bag I didn't notice he brought to my home with him. "I got you ice cream. Your favourite."
Choco Mint Chip makes its abrupt reveal; I'm almost conflicted because., because. Without a proper glance my hand reaches for the cup of heaven in Harry's hand as I invite him inside my house in the same unison. Talk about pushover. We walk to the lounge together then sit on the couch silently. Distance is kept and comfortability doesn't, exactly, seem to matter at this point.
"Can we speak of it, please?" Harry questions minutes later into the growing several minutes of silence. I, still, shake my head denyingly. There's nothing to discuss.
Usually when you see something with your own eyes in a situation words don't need to be taken into consideration. Doesn't matter the level of friendship nor the automatic label society has created nor the habitual subconsciousness humans have for the other humans. If you witness an inflict of action, there is nothing to discuss.
I seen Harry with Liam in my room. Lips attached and words kept at bay. Unlike the agreement the two made in the lounge beforehand. And I don't have supernatural vision, but I seen what I've seen that Friday night during our movie night.
I seen what wasn't suppose to happen between the old fling.
Harry's on his knee before me, now. A serious look upon his face as he silently pleads to speak. And with an exasperated sigh I give into an explanation I have no desire to hear. At all.
He runs a hand through his scalp full of hair. "I didn't kiss him back, Niall. You of all people should know that," Harry begins. "Liam kissed me in the spur of the moment. He pulled me on top of him. Before I could even get the chance to pull off of him, you walked in on us."
There's no time for me to think since Harry continues on with his rambling. "I didn't mean for any of that to happen. I – I would never hurt you, ever," he speaks. "I should've never bothered to listen to Liam that night. I should've never set myself up to ruin what we were building together." Harry gestures vaguely between the two of us, "I want it back. Even if you don't, I do."
My heart does that familiar burst like fireworks on a humid night. My ribcage crumbles a little bit more because of it, and my lungs feel as if they're collapsing into a heavy, dense air. Yet all I'm able to do is swallow — gulp to myself because a perspective overrules an eye-view.
A perspective — in this case, many, see different judgements. I seen Harry with Liam from a different angle. I walked in on Liam and Harry at the wrong time. The right place, the wrong time.
Thoughts pile onto me with assumptions and predictions and I'm conflicted. Harry's words are as flawless as his external beautiful, and the internal too. Those eyes stare at me awaiting an answer. A response I can't even muster up to give him. Still on his knee patiently waiting for anything; everything.
All I can say is, "Do you want to share this ice cream with me?"
Why I ask Harry that, I will never know. Neither will he. All the same he shakes his head no which causes me to smirk contently as I go to eat the minty ice cream. Letting the taste melt onto my tongue — the thought from Harry is a nice gesture. The beginning of a sincere apology.
THE NEXT FEW DAYS are smooth. Harry and I have agreed to both let go of Liam, as a whole. Which is a load of simultaneous progress. Me being the unrealistic, optimistic adolescent boy I am, I wonder if maybe Louis and Zayn are able to do that too. Continue off their relationship as if that scandal between Zayn and Liam had never happened. That thought flies right out of the window:
"Dylan and I hooked up last night." the cerulean eyes belonging to Louis bulge out at me with his every uttered word; a confession. We've agreed to have lunch with one another during noon at school, and to hear this turn of events with our coworker with my good friend is beyond bewildering.
"What ever happened to don't mix business with pleasure?" I genuinely question. Louis splutters a soft chuckle. "We're just strictly physical, right now." Responsively I shudder at Louis's perception.
"I thought Dylan was –" my words falter. "I thought he was into girls." My perception on my coworker is the more misguided. It just shows you shouldn't judge a book by its cover or assume anything in the least when it's regarding external characteristics.
The look that brushes upon Louis's face shows that my thoughts are exactly correct. The look fades when Louis and I see Harry and Zayn approaching our lunch table. The two say nothing when Harry's lips peck my cheek, and an automatic blush appears on my face automatically afterwards.
Louis's brows do furrow confusingly as Zayn nonchalantly glances to his mobile screen, sitting beside his ex-boyfriend whom moves away from Zayn even further. Scraping the ends of his chair against the tiled hall floors. The pair will never be on the greatest terms. No matter how many mutual friends they share together in common.
The past few days people have been very suspicious about Harry and I. Our friends assume we're steady although Harry nor I have announced anything yet. No matter the many questions that get thrown at us daily. Usually it's a simple shrug with no confirmation yet.
It's just – we've agreed that until anything gets serious between us, we'll tell everyone. Until then it's going to be continuous shrugs and shakes and confident laughs that burst the audiences bubbles. I'm, precisely, am not ready to get ahead of myself or to jump to conclusions yet. Harry's exact words.
Still I'm reminded of the entirety of Chemistry and the topic of Nomenclature having an affiliation with the science. My teacher at the time taught me an acronym to remember the elements that have a subconscious pair -- HOFBrINCl --. I think of the N, for Nitrogen, and the H, for Hydrogen, standing for myself and Harry, together. We can finally be a pair. A happy pair of chemical elements on a periodic table. Two gases in the Manchester air.
Then someone's throat clears. I look up to discover that it was Zayn clearing his throat for relief. A glimmer in his eye when he asks, "Are you two together?" Curiosity writes itself on his usually relaxed facial features. You can see it in those big, bright, chocolate eyes.
Subconsciously Harry and I's eyes meet and those beautiful pink lips curve into a knowing smile when I smirk. Together, the both of us shrug knowingly, faking an unknowing assumption once again.
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do you have an idea of what else niall is going through in anobrain? if so, what do you think is his other struggle other than harry?
i Seriously love that people still read this. If you do, you're the reason why i continue to update — thank you so much everyone.