Nathan 🌵
It's was during the midst of winter, one freezing cold day. Grace and I decided to go down to our "special place" to have a picnic. We came to our special place quite often but this was the first time we decided to bring along sandwiches (courtesy of the sandwich shop I work by) and flasks of warm homemade hot chocolate.
We were dressed warmly to protect us from the biting cold and we lay curled up together on a picnic blanket. The river was frozen sold and the bare tree branches were glazed with frosted snow. The ground beneath us was also coated with a fresh layer of white frosting.
My left hand was curled into Grace's right hand. Her fingers were numb and blue from the cold. I brought her hand to my lips and blew warm air onto her fingertips. Grace reached up with her free hand and began tracing the dark circles around my eyes. I have tried everything to get rid of my horrendous eye bags. Cucumber, teabags, frozen teaspoons, eye cream - everything that the internet claims will get rid of the puffiness and black circles - but my bags refused to go away and instead remained stubborn, like permanent bruises. Grace didn't seem to mind though.
"Sometimes I wish I had insomnia instead of hypersomnia," she said, her delicate fingers tickled the sensitive skin around my eyes.
"Why would you say that?"
"It's so frustrating always falling asleep! I want to be able to experience life and do things without constantly worrying about my next hypersomnia episode. I want to live! You can't live when you're asleep."
Her eyes looked so sad and I kissed her on her foreheard, my lips brushing her icy skin.
"Sometimes I wish I had hypersomnia instead of insomnia."
"What?" The startled look on her face was almost comical.
"I just wish that my brain could shut up sometimes," I said with a groan.
It was true that my insomnia was so much better since I met Grace, but that lingering tiredness never faded away. No matter how much sleep I got it was never enough. And there was still those occasional insomnia episodes where my frantic brain would not stop overthinking. This fatigue was bound to be the death of me one day.
"I guess neither of our sleep disorders are preferable hey?" Grace said as she snuggled closer to me, "My brain overproduces melatonin while your brain underproduces it. It would be cool if I could somehow transfer some of my melatonin to you."
"To think it all comes down to a hormone deficiency," I said. After all a lack of melatonin - the sleep hormone - results in poor sleeping habits and insomnia.
"Sometimes I wish I had also died in that car crash instead of being subjected to this torture everyday." The words rolled off her tongue so easily, but her voice was soft like she wasn't sure if she wanted me to hear what she said. But I heard her alright.
"You shouldn't say that. It is a blessing that you are alive."
"I know but this disorder is so frustrating! I don't know what it's like to not be tired! I can't remember what it's like to be normal!"
"I know how you feel, Grace, I really do."
---
A while later and we were still cuddled in the snow. I was drinking another cup of hot chocolate while Grace slept on my lap. I stared at her sleeping frame. She looked so fragile and beautiful. I noticed the fallen snowflakes scattered amongst her honey blonde locks and the slight curl in her long eyelashes. I noticed the scar on her forehead that she got from the car crash and I noticed pale pink colour of her lips. I traced the light freckles on her cheeks, joining the dots. Grace hated her freckles and always tried to hide them with make up, but I thought they were cute. I had seen Grace sleep many times but every time I'm mesmerized by this sleeping beauty and every time I notice something new about her.
I finished my cup of hot chocolate and placed the empty cup in our picnic basket. Then I did what I always had to do when Grace falls asleep - call her dad. After making the phone call I gently hoisted Grace over my shoulder, threw her close with the picnic blanket and picked up our basket. I didn't want Grace's dad to come fetch her at our "special place" because even though we didn't technically own that spot, it was reserved just for us. Or so I told myself.
I walked with a sleeping Grace in my arms to the edge of the woods where I sat her down beside me on a wooden bench. I wrapped the blanket around us and held her close to me while I waited for her father to come and fetch us.
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Yo' Nathan stop staring at her while she's sleeping, it's creepy!
Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter 😆
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~ Aqeelah (@cosmic_thoughts)