A/N: HOW. HOW IS THIS ALREADY ALMOST AT 3K?! WHEN YOU GUYS DO THIS, I FEEL LIKE MY INSIDES ARE EXPLODING AND I WANT TO RUN AROUND MY SCHOOL GIVING PEOPLE FLOWER CROWNS AND BOOPS ON THE NOSE. but then I realize that I live in the real world.... BUT STILL OH MY CHRIST I LOVE YOU ALL MORE THAN MY ACTUALLY FAMILY RIGHT MEOW. HOW WAS YOUR GUYS'S THANKSGIVING???? WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS??? DO YOU FEEL AS CLOSE TO ME AS I FEEL TO YOU? Okay, I'll calm down doe c: You're all fabulous and I hope you all have an amazing holiday season <3 Fun fact #7: I listen to 8 tracks evertime I write a new chapter. It turns out extremely shitty if I don't! *claps* *looks around for police* *pulls chapter out of my trench coat* HERE, GO AND RUN WITH IT!
It's been a few days since my confrontation with Louis, and I haven't talked to him since. I spent some time with thee girls and I finally started eating at the table again. I think I got a new confidence, because when I was around, I realized that people stopped talking about me. "EL!" Duke shouted,running into the room with Maeve and wrapping me in a hug. I laughed and ruffled his hair, waving at Maeve who winked. "Well hello to you too, Duke!" I pushed him off lightly with a small chuckle, running a hand through my hair. "Hey, you going to be alright El?" Maeve asked quietly, taking her seat and Duke doing the same as the teacher walked in. "I'm trying not to think about it." I said uncomfortably, forcing a thin-lipped smile. "Oh- I'm sorry El..." She said with a sympathetic expression. "No, I'm not." I said simply, patting her shoulder and giving a more realistic smile to try and prove I'd be okay. And I was almost positive I would be.
By the time lunch rolled around, I felt a knot of nervousness twist in my stomach and I felt sick to my stomach. I knew it was because of Louis, but I passed it off as nervousness for the upcoming math test. "Heeeeey Ellieeeeee!" I inwardly cringed at the nickname I hoped to forget, but forced up a grin, waving at Niall who probably didn't understand how much I hated that nickname now. "Hey Niall!" I say with what I hoped was a convincing voice. I looked at the rest of the table, and everyone with the exception of Louis was wearing smiles that said they believed me. I sat down next to Katlynne and gave her a small smile, hoping she doesn't ask any questions. "FINALLY, HE'S BACK!" I looked to the doors and saw Zayn walking through the doors with The Arctic Circle take out bags, walking towards our table. "Okaaaay, I have everyones orders." He said, giving me a comforting smile that for some reason wanted to make me cry. "Here's Niall, Harry, Rachelle, Katlynne, Mauve, Elliott," He tossed me a burger and a carton of fries. I smiled politely and opened up the burger to take off the onions, but found none.
"Did they stop putting onions on their burgers?" I say happily, considering I really hate onions. "No, I made sure they didn't put any on yours." Zayn said simply, causing both me and surprisingly Louis to look at Zayn with confusion. "Oh, you don't like onions El?" Katlynne said in between a bite, giving me a head tilt. "You didn't know?" I ask, wondering who told Zayn. "I didn't either..." Anna said sheepishly, and judging from the look on Chelle, Maeve, and Patty's face, they didn't know either. "You mentioned it when we went for coffee." Zayn said as if that would be something simple to remember. "You remember that?" I said with a small genuine smile, choosing to ignore the way Louis mood had seemingly got worse. "Course. I find you very fascinating, Miss Elliott." Zayn said with a wink, sitting down and grabbing his food. I felt my cheeks heat up slightly and I hoped it didn't show as much as I thought it did. "Oooooh, seems like we've got a new love flame." Chelle said, obviously trying to get a rise out of Louis. He rolled his eyes, but other than that, he didn't seem upset. I felt a compressing feeling in my chest but brushed it off and looked at Zayn.
"Who knows." Zayn said with a smirk, shrugging and locking eyes with me before chuckling and looking away. I felt my blush intensify and I cleared my throat awkwardly, trying to find something witty or sarcastic to say, but I found nothing. "Hey, I have an ideaaaaa~" Patty said with a devious smirk. "Me, Maeve, Calum, Ashton, Katlynne, Niall, Chelle, Harry, you two, and Louis all go to the new Karaoke bar down by The Rouge?" She said, looking between Zayn, Louis, and I. I rolled my eyes and laughed. "It's a bar Patty. Do you really think that's a good idea?" I say, crossing my arms and looking at her challengingly. "Pft, my aunt is the owner of the bar. She said anytime I want to come with friends, I could." She gives me a satisfied smile with 'you have no excuse Elliott' written all over it. "Alright, I'll go." I say with another eyeroll, uncrossing my arms and slumping forward in defeat. "YAAAAY! Then I expect everyone else to come." She said, looking around to everyone. Everyone agreed, save Louis and Zayn who sat unusually quietly. "I'll go if El's going." Zayn said, giving me another smirk. I scoffed and tossed some hair back nervously, hoping no one knew this was my defense mechanism. "Good! Louis?..." Patty and the table grew quiet, obviously a little wary about how Louis and I stood right now. "Yeah, sounds good." He said, no trace of emotion in his voice. "Great, than I expect everyone to be there tonight! I'll send you all the adress." She sent us a mass text right as the bell rang and we all filed out.
"I don't know about this." I say unsteadily as Anna sat on my bed, watching me do my own make up for once. "Sweetie, if I know one thing, it's about this. And this is going to kick-ass!" She threw her hands up and bounced on my bed, stoked about tonight. "Well, the last time I hung out with Zayn, he almost got his nose broken." I mumble as I put on a thin line of eye liner. "Yeah, well that was because Louis was on your heels like a puppy. He seems to be over i-" Anna cut herself off, but I knew what she was going to say. "He's over it-us, I know. You're right." I say with bitterness, looking down at my pearl clolered nails. "Elliott, I didn't mean-" I cut her off with a wave of the hand and a tight smile. "No no, it's fine. It's fine....because I'm over it too. It was just a short little fling, really." I say, the foreign feeling taking over my lips as the words slipped through them. Why did the words feel so wrong when the context was right? "C'mon El, just make out with that Greek God Zayn and cheer up!" She says, trying to offer some humor to the dry conversation. I laugh a bit and go back to applying make up. "Maybe I will." I mumble, upplying a glossy red lipstick to my lips.
I fixed the back pockets of my tight fitting jeans, hoping they looked alright and Anna walked over to me, giving me a final once over. "Here sweetie." She handed me a low cut glitter top that would deffinetly show more than I felt comfortable showing. "Anna! Will this even cover my boobs, or does it come with a neon sign that says, 'CHECK OUT THESE PUPPIES!'?" I screeched, looking between the top and her. She gasped and slapped her forehead. "You're right! I totally forgot the sign at home!" She groaned, causing me to laugh, but trying to still seem stern. "Come on El, just live alittle! Put on the top!" She giggled, pulling at the v neck I had thought would work. "Fine, fine." I swatted her hands away and quickly put on the shirt, surprised that it actually had just enough coverage to come off as teasing, but modest enough. "Alright, LET'S GOOOOO!" She squealed, pulling me down stairs.
We pulled up to the club and I slunk further into the cab seat, while Anna perked up. "WOOH! LET'S GOOOO!" She screamed, leaving me to pay the driver and apologize as well. As soon as we got stopped by the bouncer, Patty appeared next to him, whispered something, and soon enough we were being led to the mini bar. My eyes widened and I looked to Patty. "We're not drinking, right?" I asked, smelling the bitter and fruity smell of the alcohol. "Oh god no, we're getting the few non-alcoholic drinks they offer. On my aunt." She gives me a wink and pushed a Shirley temple in front of me. I sigh in relief and take the drink, pouring the sweet liquid down my throat. I felt it cool my throat and sighed pleasantly, taking another sip. "Alright, I'll have five more of these." I joked and pushed it towards Anna for a sip. She nodded as soon as she tasted it and laughed. "Hey, you look familiar." I heard Zayn's voice and turned to see him slip into the seat next to me, barely compressing the cute smile gracing his lips. "Really? I don't recognize you. Maybe we went to the same highschool?" I quipped, playing along and turning to face him. His smile got harder to contain and he looked down, letting a small laugh escape him. "Maybe!" He snapped his fingers and raised his eyebrows, causing me to laugh. I turned to see that Anna had already left and found Zurich, causing me to roll my eyes when she gave me a thumbs up.
After talking for what seemed like forever, I had been through a few Shirley temples and I was beginning to feel more bubbly. Even though it had no alcohol, the feeling of drinking at a club made me feel a bit buzzed. "Hey, why don't we dance?" I asked Zayn with a smile that actually reached my eyes. He nodded and got off the bar stool, holding out his hand. I took it with a laugh and gave an exaggerated bow, following him out to the dance floor. I saw girl check him out, but for some reason it didn't bother me. He spun me into his chest which made me gasp and look up to him in shock. He looked down at me with a playful glint in his eyes. We began dancing and I couldn't control my laughs every time he did one of his exaggerated grinding moves as I watched about 3 feet away. He would bite his lip and grin, trying not to laugh himself. I ran over to him and continued laughing, feeling short of breath as I bumped into his chest, trying to get him to stop. "Nuh-no more! I can't take it!" I struggled to get out, clutching my stomach.
"Then how about this?" His tone was low and seductive which caused me to look up with surprise. As I looked up, he caught my lips with his, wrapping an arm around my waist as support, considering my knees almost buckled. I put my hand on his chest to push him away, but I stopped as I felt him deepen the kiss, causing me to kiss back. I could only imagine how it looked, him and I smack-dab in the center of the dance floor, kissing each other like it was our only source of oxygen. I snaked a hand to the back of his hair and pulled lightly, tipping my head to the side. He pulled away, and when I opened my eyes, I saw he was looking to somewhere in the back expectantly; almost hopefully. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked to where his eyes were rested. I saw Louis, standing with his fists clenched and a look of murder brandished across his face. I looked to Zayn and saw him look down at me, realizing I saw. "Did...did you do that just to get Louis jealous?" I asked with disbelief, pushing him away and wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. His eyes turned from hopeful to pleading and I scoffed in distaste. "You bastard! I thought this was more than a game to you- i TRUSTED YOU, Zayn!" I shouted angrily, not giving two fucks about the scene I was creating. He took a step forward and I took two back. "Elliott, I did it to get Louis to realize that he still needs you- th-that he still has feelings for you!" Zayn said, as if that would justify using me as bait. I didn't know if I even believed his reasoning.
"You know what Zayn, you should go. Louis has no feelings for me, and I don't for him-" I was cut off by a familiar hand wrapping around my wrist. "Like hell." Louis muttered, the fire and anger still thick in his tone as he glared at Zayn. I felt a brief moment of sadness for Zayn, but it was quickly forgotten as I thought about the prior kiss. Louis pulled harshly on my arm and dragged me toward the doors. "Louis- LET GO OF ME!" I said firmly, scared that if I wasn't angry or afraid, that I would cry. He stayed quiet as he pulled me out of the club and walked down the sidewalk a little. I tried to shake his grasp as I yanked my wrist. "Louis, I swear to fucking god- let me go!" I shouted angrily, feeling the urge to cry slowly rising forward. I felt the rain begin to beat down, only making me feel worse by remembering having to walk home the night Louis stood me up.
"Why the fuck would you kiss him?! I told you what he did already, do you want me to watch him steal the girl again?!" He spat out at me, pushing me against the cold brick wall of the side of the club. I stayed quiet before answering something that shocked myself. "The girl isn't yours to be stolen from in the first place. You made sure your pride was saved before your relationship. I'm sorry you couldn't see that, but I will NOT be treated like that Louis. Relationships are about throwing away your pride and submitting to defeat. Relationships are about cradling it like a baby; nurturing it first and fixing your little hurt ego second. I'm sorry you didn't see that, but I'm not sorry for trying to move on." I say, choking on my last words.
I took a sudden interest in the cement as I felt a tear brim over the top and slip down my cheek. "Ellie..." I heard him whisper and I could practically feel his shallow breaths. I watched the rain darken the pavement and hoped he thought my tears were simply rain. "How could you be so fucking hard to handle?" He said a bit louder, but only a little above a whisper. "I don't think I'm right for you." He said surprisingly sadly, causing me to look up at him. I bit my tongue as I saw how godly he looked as he stood in the rain. His dark shirt was clinging to his body as the rain pelted his shoulders, causing little run-off to hit my cheeks. Some of his hair was now plastered to his forehead and watched a droplet run down his temple to his cheek. "I never thought I was right for the little Ellie, with a strong mind but fragile heart." He laughed remorsefully and I felt my heart squeeze at the sweet sound of his laugh. God I wanted to throw myself in his wet arms.
"And even when I knew I was all wrong for you, I wanted you. I wanted to hold your hand, to hold you, to kiss you....and sometimes I wished you would leave me. Because I thought a boy more...suitable to match you would be the answer. Someone who parents liked- th-that was on the football team. Who had a part time job at Abercrombie and Fitch. Who could have you on his arm and look...normal." He laughed coldly and backed up, holding one hand over his eye. "But then you did leave me. And do you know how torn I felt?" He said, looking at me with unsheathed eyes. Eyes I could read and put emotions to. "Probably as tone as I felt sitting alone at that fucking table." I shot back, taking in the way his eyes looks sorrowful as soon as I said that. "I'm not even going to make an excuse. i was so pissed off, Ellie. I wanted you to know that, but I didn't think you would... I didn't think you would leave." He said with stress flitting across his face as he pushed some water logged hair out of his face.
"Then tell me! Tell me you're pissed! Tell me you wanted me as upset as you were, and that you wanted to leave me alone! Don't do stupid shit like that, because this is what happens!" I say, motioning between us angrily. He looked at me and regained some of his dominant form. "But it's fine, if you want to go be with Zayn, fine. You're right, you're not mine to be stolen. So go be happy with him. But just think about how different his kiss was compared to this." Before I could question what 'this' was, he pulled me harshly against him and crashed his lips down onto mine. Immediate sparks racked through my body, causing me to feel warm despite the icy rain. My lips desperately sought out his and I clutched his face, letting my mind shut down for a moment. I knew that this is why all the words of letting go didn't feel right on my lips. Because I couldn't let go; I couldn't separate my self from him. No matter how far i tried to separate us, there would be an infinite pull to this tattooed boy, and the way his lips molded to mine. The kiss grew less hungry and longing, and dwindled down to a simple feeling of fulfillment. I knew that I wasn't the only one who felt this, as Louis' hand tangled itself in my hair, his other hand rubbing circles in my back. He pulled back and his shaky breaths matched mine. I watched his eyes look into mine, and as i opened my mouth to speak, all the words I knew I had seemed to have left my mind.
He pulled away slowly and looked in the direction opposite of the club. "I'm going to go..." He said quietly and I so badly wanted to stop him. He looked at me one more time and then sighed, turning to walk away. I watched him walk down the street, the rain not letting up a hint. As he hit the button to cross the street, I broke. "LOUIS!" I screamed, tears running down my cheeks. "LOUIS!" I screamed again, and he turned around, hope filling his eyes. He began walking towards me with a hasty pace as I full on sprinted to him. As he got closer, I increased my pace. No, I need him. There is no forgetting him. I NEED him. My mind swirled with the truth as I threw myself into his open arms, finally doing what I wanted to do for the past days. "I...I can't be with him, because I need you. Louis....Louis..." I choked out cries and he held me tightly. "Shhh, shhh I know. Please don't cry." I felt the difference between his warm body and the rain fade together as I desperately clung to the feeling of his heart beat. "I won't do something like that ever again...a-as long as you....as long as you don't leave again. Because I need you too, Ellie." He breathed out, and I felt his misty breath against my neck. I nodded into his chest as he kissed the top of my wet head. I closed my eyes and clutched the front of his shirt tighter, feeling like a thousand pounds had been lifted off my shoulders with this simple words, I need you too, Ellie.