The first days of school are the worst without friends. All of my friends of course actually like school. That's the weirdest thing about them. Let's just say they have no actual life. (Maybe that's a little too mean...) Anyways, there's this huge party for the first day of school. I don't get it, shouldn't there be a party for the last day of school? I don't know. It's such a poopy occasion.
"Bye mom... I'm leaving for the worst day of school." I say as I grab my butt cushion and head out the door.
"Bye poop stick. Don't come back!!!!!!!" Mom mutters.
Later I find myself on the bus with my headphones on. I hope no one talks to me, because I hate talking. I'm kind of shy like that...
When I get to school, I have to go poop really bad. I feel like my pants are sagging. This is a good thing because in this generation everyone wears saggy pants. (Btw its 2035.)
Then, the bell rings and I'm late for class. Wow, I only went to the bathroom for 30 minutes.
I go into class, and everyone is doing their papers.
"Miss Scrabid, why are you late on the first day???" asks Mrs. Bottomsmack
"Oh sorry Mrs.Bo-tt-"
"Bottomsmack," she replies correcting me.
"I was going poop for thirty minutes!" I yell to the teacher and all of the classmates.
All of the classmates don't really care because in this generation, everyone can say poop and fart. Isn't that great?!
I sit down next to a guy named Jeffery. I knew his name because I am physcic. Jeffery starts picking his nose and he starts swiping it on the girl next to him. Her name is Page. Page starts sneezing and farting. This is what you call a farting attack. It's happened to me five times this week.
Page looks around the room to see if anyone noticed it. Everyone gave her a poopy glare, which means to stop making noises.
I start dancing like a hippo in my potty pants. This school is messed up. I like it...
THE NEXT 10 SECONDS:
After 10 seconds, Mrs.Bottomsmack starts farting in her chair.
"Hmmm, it smells pretty funky in here." says a girl named Cathy Butterneck.
"I think Mrs.Bottomsmack ate pickles again..." says Jeffery while he starts rapidly scratching his forehead.
Then, our teacher starts singing Guacamole like a pooping goat man.