Chapter 9 : Insert Madness
She was silent. Everyone was. For one of the first times Lenalee was dead silent.
Kanda, Lavi. Everyone was simply silent. And why? Why?
Well that was hard yet easy to explain.
Painfully and unbearable.
Everyone was simply eating their lunch trying not to think about the situation but it was the truth. They shouldn't have been there. They shouldn't have followed Allen. They would have preferred to have just been oblivious to everything. To have not heard anything but due to their curiosity and childish worry they received something that was too much to bear than what they expected. She received something that was shattering and cracking her world to the point of no return. Shattering her world to the point of where there would only be dust and glass that could never be returned to the way that it used to.
Everything was breaking and turning to dust before he very eyes and drowning her. It was like she was like she was becoming asphyxiated. Like she was in an hourglass that was filling to the point where it was too heavy to tip over and hence would engulf her to. She was being killed by her own, now 'former' happiness. It was too much to bear.
Lenalee remained frozen hearing the words over and over in her head. Not being able to comprehend the situation. She simply didn't understand at all.
'Trialed with heresy?'
'Classified as a Noah?'
'Executed?
Executed'. The word itself was a taboo. An omen but she couldn't stop thinking about it. Allen was to be killed. Allen was going to die. Be killed?
No
That couldn't happen. That absolutely could NOT happen. That was impossible. It was a dream. It had to be a dream. She didn't hear any of this. It was simply a nightmare. Everything was just a nightmare. Nee san would never let that happen. Nobody would. He was important. A valuable member of their family. It had to the a lie.
But still a part of her knew it was the truth. It was obvious. Why though. She had woken up like usual. Done everything in the morning as usual. It should have been a similar day where she would just receive a mission and gone to prepare for it. Not overhear such a conversation.
She hated herself. Her curiosity. Her helplessness and her ability to do nothing.
She shouldn't have followed Allen. They shouldn't have gotten together and snuck in. They should have even been anywhere near there but yet…here she was. Hunched in Komui's office with everyone else overhearing the forbidden words. Hearing everything and as punishment feeling her heart shatter.
She was still silent. Too silent than she had ever been in her life. Almost even motionless. He body was in too much shock for the reflex of shivering to even kick in. Too shocked for her muscles to contract in oppose to everything.
It was a lie. It had to be. Allen wasn't going to be killed. Komui wasn't going to just give up. And none of this ever happened. It was just a nightmare. Her brother would never act like and neither would Allen. They wouldn't just give up so it was true. That wasn't her brother. And that wasn't Allen-kun. This was all just a nightmare.
Ever so slowly the girl buried her face in her thighs with wide eyes as she felt the last remains of her sanity try to fix itself.
It was all a lie. Everything.
It was just a nightmare.
She would wake up and go on a mission as intended. And everything would be like a dream.
A simple nightmare.
He was scared. That's right. The usual stoic and basically strong samurai was scared. The last time that he was scared like this was years ago but his fear had simply been brought back to life. He had wanted to die. He had wanted to find someone.
He weak turned to the side passively finding Lenalee unconscious and he understood feeling cold sweat break out on the surface of his skin. He forcefully gulped.
He didn't have stoic fears apart from the worry of a lotus flower losing its petals and sinking into the mud but now he was scared. For that very reason.
A lotus was delicate and would bloom at a special time. It was rare to see. But when it would die it petal and seeds would sink into the mud. A bright, pure (and one of the few things he dare say beautiful) flower could become tainted and Like the few people that had scared him. They always started off as pure and bright, always smiling. Then they just broke. Those were the few things that scared him the most. Unpredictable hippies. When they would become foul in soil losing their previous purity and replacing it with so much darkness.
No matter what anyone would think the most scariest things to him was people who would suddenly change from innocent as they would become sick in the mind where they would believe in something that sometimes made sense but was disturbing at how evil that persons sense of 'direction' could become.
It was one of the few things that he could admit scared him but with Allen it scared him even more.
It was like that person. And that's what pissed him off even more.
That was why he hated people who smiled too much.
They could easily become contaminated and become
poison.
Everything was easily considered as a dream with how reality felt hazy. The last couple of days were all hazy and blurred yet at the same time bright and clear. It was indeed humorous.
Allen gave an exhausted yawn preoccupying the thought of falling. No he wasn't falling, his heart felt like it was though. He was just confused. Was alright for him to be feeling like this at a time where he should be feeling grief. Allen gave a yawn just managing to shake of that deep tiring feeling. What made it more ironic was that he was already asleep. More like unconscious. He was just in his 'dream world' as Neah liked to call it.
He was in fact seated on that twisted 'throne' and chained just like the last time that he was there. The only difference was that he wasn't in anyway scared or worried. In fact, he didn't care which meant that he already lost an important part of his soul which held the will to live.
Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Truth be, if Neah was planning on taking over his body then the way to start would have basically been to destroy that crucial part. Still, he didn't believe that the Noah was lying when he said that he wasn't interested in taking over him. Why? Well, would someone who had such a good opportunity be bothered with asking how it's supposed host was? And trying to mend his broken soul instead of trying to break it even more. Instead the Noah was seemingly trying to calm him down and cheer him up.
And it was working.
He honestly felt better, better than when he was awake anyway.
Still, he was curious about why but he would suffice. He might as well enjoy the last few…days or weeks left of his life.
"Allen?"
"Hmmm?" Allen looked up from looking at the pebbles that were remotely by his feat and he just stared at the Noah. It was still weird looking at him but just like before he was getting used to it. Just barely. It did still make him slightly nauseous.
"Yeah?" He asked. Neah simply stared at him from his cross legged position on the floor just in front of him. It was oddly relaxing.
That and the Noah for some reason had a sewing kit in front of him and was trying to decipher how to use it. He must have really been bored. Allen sighed and leaned back slightly glad that it was like a rocking chair.
"You're gonna have to wake up soon Allen" Neah said almost whispered. In truth, Allen didn't want to. Why would you leave a peacefully place for a nightmare that you would actually feel.
Wow, he really had lost his will to live.
He wondered if his phobias had changed from fear of sleep to fear of life. Like before he had fears but they had completely changed to other things.
Allen simply nodded and watched with almost hazed eyes as Neah had dropped the sewing needles . He wanted to just sleep. Just sleep and never wake up peacefully but apparently that wasn't meant to be. Those flashbacks that he got wetre more like visions so that was apparently one of his Noah powers. Still what could he do.
Again Allen nodded leaning back fully and staring at the dark sky that reflected the moon. A shadow looked like it was trying to hide its presence in its light so he couldn't see but it didn't bother him.
This time the moon was too far away.
When Allen woke the sun was blearily making its way into his room. His new room. It was really ironic wasn't it how his doppelganger was literally like his double as he had replaced his entire life. He had taken everything away from him and completely replaced him and taken his former life. Wasn't that just ironic. All he needed now was for Anotnio to have White hair and a scar then everything would be perfect. Along with having his innocence taken away from him and his post of being an Exorcist he had been removed from his own room that had finally become his home and he had be removed of all his belongs for research. He agreed with Neah that that was just plain stupid. What the heck could they research in his belongings. The to do's of becoming a Noah? The clothes comfortable for their skin type?
Hah!
Allen pushed himself up absentmindedly feeling an odd sense of relief in the cooler air. Since when had his temperature increased so much. Still, he needed a shower and meal…small meal just like before. Link was sleeping on the floor by the side of the bed as he usually did and Allen couldn't help the pained expression that graced his face. Was that how it was to be human. To be easy to discard things so easily when fear entered their hearts.
Was he ever human then?
Was he that cruel?
Don't think Like that Allen'
Allen simply blinked. He really was getting used to that. Neah talking to him.
He just sighed in reply and hoped the Noah got the point. Silently, avoiding waking up Link, Allen crawled of his bed and made his way out to the bathroom. The door clicked a bit too loudly in the silence but there was no sound that Link had woken up. What was he going to do anyway? Cause his sentence to run earlier?
When Allen made it into the small bathroom that he was granted he weakly looked up to the mirror. And just as expected Neah was looking back at him through the mirror.
"So what now?" Allen whispered. He still wasn't used to the talk through your thoughts thing.
Get ready for your new mission and try and enjoy yourself Neah replied. At this Allen couldn't help but snicker. Enjoy himself.
"But when am I supposed to…erm,…die?"
He didn't receive a reply and just sighed. Most likely after the mission when he would return. That was settling.
His last mission.
"Fine"
Neah image slowly vanished just enough for Allen to see his own reflection and he sighed and splashed water on his face. That is until he felt the corner of his forehead sting with some soap. Allen paused. Washed his face clean then paused. What now?
His eyes trailed up to the mirror yet again and he couldn't help but gulp.
This time it was more obvious.
The left side of his face, top left corner, had a long cut on it that mirrored the one that he had not noticed had formed on the other side. If joined together it could form a halo and due to that Allen felt a cold shudder run through his body.
"Neah? How long does it take for a Noah to complete his or her transformation?" Allen murmured. He almost forgot about the unconscious inspector in the next room and it would be bad if he woke up now.
Neah image appeared again over his reflection and he stared straight tat the Noah in slight desperation. Was this really happening?
Neah simply sighed and for the first time since appearing as his reflection the Noah moved in a completely different way from Allen and crossed his arms. It was distracting if not for the slight sting from new scar.
"It depends"
"What do you mean it depends Neah" Allen hissed "Be more specific"
At this the Noah just sighed before moving his hands to his black hair lifting the bangs revealing his own set of full crosses. As if by command, Allen's body mimicked the action.
"Depending on the Memories each Noah's stigmata would appear differently." Neah started. He pointed to the left scar running his fingers over it softly while Allen unintentionally mirrored his movements like a marionette. It was slightly freaky.
So the Noah really could control him.
"Allen, with your memories it would appear slowly before any pain would be registered." Neah continued ignoring his thoughts. Allen couldn't help but but simply blinking. Did this mean that …that…
"It means that you won't feel any pain at all till the halo of crosses forms due to our specific memories. You'll be in deep pain afterwards when it does but till then since the change has started your nervous system and all the other small stuff with it would shut off. You're…well…practically dead.."
There was a paused and Neah dropped his hands to his side which effectively gave Allen back his control of his limbs. He wasn't paying enough attention to notice the quick glint of pain in his 'reflected mind'. So that means that he wouldn't feel any pain. At all? He wasn't cold just. Was that also the reason that he had felt hollow the past few hours?
"But I'm still warm?" Allen muttered.
"You are still alive. Just that you're body isn't going to feel anything to do with pain no matter the damage"
Allen just sighed so many developments. First he would have to continue wearing gloves to prevent skin to skin contact and the annoying headaches that would follow if a flashback…or vision appeared (along with keep all that a secret)
Now this?
Neah would have a lot of explaining to do later but in a way, for some reason, the whole new development didn't seem that bad. It could be useful right?
He was going to die soon right and till then he would want to try enjoy his last few moments. He just had to keep this a secret.
"And this happens differently depending on the Noah?" He repeated. Just to be sure. Neah just nodded softly in the reflection, which was an action that Allen's body did not copy, before his expression changed to regretful.
"Don't do it Allen" He whispered. Allen just shook his head. Of course he forgot that he could read his thoughts.
"Just let me see my reflection Neah"
Neah's face showed so much reluctance but Allen dismissed it off till his image disappeared again revealing his own solitary pale one.
He just stared. Just stared at it. The two scars were to perfect. Conspicuous on the white pale and red skin from the different sides of his face. To accurate and obvious. An obvious sign. It was really ironic.
His silver eyes then peered at the water dropping and then he didn't something that he hadn't done in years. Something that he didn't think that he would ever need to do again unless he was on the streets.
He planned it.
He splashed some water at his feet making a large puddle then held his breath. If he wasn't going to feel pain then it would be fine right. He just needed to hide the scars.
With his eyes closed, Grit his teeth together and aligned both his hands on wall at parallel sides of the mirror.
Then without hesitation rammed his head against the cold, metallic and fragile surface fracturing it into a million splinters. Blood quickly splatted along with it sliding across broken shards and forming together into larger drops creating an unique image along with grotesque. The sound was sharp and precise, especially in his ears.
Allen simply gasped falling backwards onto the floor and into the puddle.
It didn't hurt. Not as much as it should have anyway. He could just barely feel sharp cuts that would have formed.
The sound should have definitely woken up link.
And hid the scars.
The best way to hide something sometimes would be to keep it in plain sight.
Antonio was contemplating what he should wear for his mission. He found it funny that he was currently where he was. It was almost too easy and all he had to do was take what was rightfully his from a demon. That's what he liked best. He stared at his new exorcist coat and felt like laughing. He now almost had everything that he wanted and so quickly at that. All that he wanted was to be able to fight. To not be weak and stifled and yes he got that. His wishes were being answered. He was going to be able to live like he wanted. Live by clearing the world of akuma. Of any threats and he had the power to do so.
Antonio finally had the power. He shuffled the coat on enjoying the feeling of the material. It really suited him. Only powerful solders should have the right to wear such a thing.
He buttoned it up before staring at his left arm which was now black. It emanated power. It made him sick that that monster had it in his possession but he was partially thankful as it was thrumming with that desire for revenge and hatred. That's why it hurt him sometimes to activate it.
His innocence.
As he finally grabbed his suitcase and left 'his' new room, he activated his innocence and went down to where he would get on the boat. Crown clown thrummed with entertainment and he felt satisfied in the warmth.
He would destroy any akuma that tried to get in his way and destroy his life.
He failed to feel the almost sickening cold burst of humour from Crown clown along with the devious glint in the mask.
Almost as if it wanted to laugh at the situation.
If crown clown wasn't originally his why didn't he become a fallen one. In fact, the more he thought about it it was like Allen did as the innocence was using up his life force to fight for it. Was that honestly how innocence was. It couldn't be. There were simply no records where something like that had happened. It was simply where someone tried to force innocence to synchronise with them when they weren't the accommodator, or where innocence was betrayed by the owner, like in Suman Dark's case. Then again. Humans were never born with innocence…were they?
As Lavi pondered this he quietly stir his soup looking around curiously. He had gotten the memo from bookman about the mission to Amsterdam and how the whole group would be leaving together. Well, the remainder of the group. Now with Allen replaced. It was almost scary. It was almost like Allen…replaced…Allen. Still whenever he looked at his mentor he felt even more cautious. Of course the older bookman had lived longer than him and that was why he had recorded more history than him but still…bookman wasn't recording everything. In fact he was keeping secrets from him and he hated that. Bookman knew something and it was obvious from the man quick dismissal of certain subjects.
'You do not need to record this' and of stuff along the lines.
Lavi took another sip of his soup and leaned slightly back in his seat. It was to cold. Still he ignored at stared at everyone on the table. Jerry had been trying to get there spirits up and he was thankful for that but he was failing. Everyone was moody. At least everyone that cared about Allen. Chaoji was moody for other reasons and Antonio…well Antonio was just in glee. Even if they had the same face their smiles and attitudes were completely different.
He was sure that the guy didn't give a shti as that's how humans were when they just met someone.
And Lenalee…well Lenalee just looked guilty. The girl was still trying to keep up conversation but it was just like that time where everyone thought Allen died. She was crushed. Her body was on autopilot. It was there but he mind wasn't. Her friends really meant a lot didn't it. He secretly wondered if he meant that to her as well. Bookman didn't want him to think like that about other people so it would be like he was neglecting her feelings by not thinking the same way."So this mission in Amsterdam about the supposed innocence in the statue right. Sounds like a fairy tale." Lavi just nodded. Sure it did. Then his trademark grin followed. He needed to stop calculating like that.
"Yeah. Innocence really likes to majestic right?"
"Shut up Usagi"
And full out teasing session would have started if not for who had entered and Lavi felt himself go quiet and observational again as it was the person that he couldn't deny, wanted to see smile again.
Ok, so smashing your head against a mirror may not have been the best idea in the world but at least it worked. Apart from the cuts on his skin. It did help conceal the former scars though. Still, Links reaction was very funny but with the quick clue that he left with there being water on the floor that followed a pattern and the blood staining the glass it would have most likely led the man to believe that he had slipped and 'accidently' smashed his head against the mirror, not unintentionally planned everything the ram himself into it. The sheer panic that followed along with guilt was both epic and sad.
It was slightly obvious that Link felt guilty. But what was there to feel guilty about. He was just doing his job. Completing his job as his watch guide.
After cleaning the cuts and bandaging his forehead he made his way out to the dining hall to get some food.
What his eyes met was surprisingly an expected sight. That and Neah was playing that song again.
He just smiled at them not bothering to do anything else and he almost glided by to jerry Yes he was hungry and boy did he deserve a treat. He only wished that he could eat a lot but, well, his stomach was cut down. Funny how he could feel sick when thinking of food. When he met the counter though depression settled in fast and filled the emptiness in his stomach.
"Antonio, back already for seconds?" Jerry had sang out while mixing a bowl of whatever food that he was preparing. The man stopped again and just stared at him while Allen looked down again. Didn't anybody know that he had white hair and that that double ganger had brown. He had been there longer than them yet he was still the one being forgotten and replaced.
"Just breathe it out Allen" Neah whispered and Allen did as followed as he had just lost his appetite.
"…Oh…Allen, kun…er what would you…" Allen cut Jerry off murmuring a low 'I'm fine'. He just slid away to get some coffee instead, link following tightly behind before taking a seat in the area that he had before. People get replaced easily here. How could he forget?
"Allen, try to ignore everything for now" Allen just nodded as if he had spoken it would have been strange to Link. He was after all trying to keep everything quiet so to talk to Neah through thoughts was what he was trying to achieve. It was actually harder than it seemed. It only got harder however when Miranda joined him and as much as he like the frail lady he didn't want to be disturbed just yet.
"Hello Allen Kun" The woman said masking her obvious nervousness. At least she seemed to remember him. "Hello Miranda, how've you been?"
"Fine?...I would ask about you but that would be a stupid question wouldn't it?" Allen just smiled. At least in a way she understood. That and his face was stuck with plasters and a bandage round his forehead.
"Allen kun, why aren't you join us to eat?" She asked and Allen just smiled taking a sip of his coffee. The bitter taste felt just right for the atmosphere for some reason. Afterwards he peered at the table that he usually sat at and surprisingly couldn't feel a thing even though almost everyone was looking at him like they expected something.
He really lost his will to live.
"Because, Haven't I been just replaced?" Miranda's expression simply looked distraught but before she could speak Allen interrupted sitting up in his seat. "It's not a problem Miranda. Thank you for being my friend and I understand the situation" He continued before taking another sip of his tea. He had lost so much and it was useful that he couldn't feel anything. He just grinned then stood up bowing quickly.
"Thank you for everything but I need to prepare for my mission"
Then he left with a silent Link in tow.
This was after all his last performance on stage as the clown, before the newbie to his place.
He could only wish for the best and move on.
Literally.
"Neah?"
"Hmm?" The Noah in question simply looked up from his position on the floor where he was lying simply looking at the sky. It was almost stagnant but clear at the same time. Just motionless. Allen shifted ever so softly against the chains around him as he too looked up at the sky. The moon was dull. It was honestly the first time he had ever felt that way . It wasn't white and the sky around it wasn't dark. It was…just dull. Not white nor black but the middle. But this time brighter than white and darker than dark simply felt stagnant. Why was that?
"Neah?"
"Hmm?" Neah answered again but this time his gaze changed back to Allen. He simply laid there staring at him just as Allen sat chained to his 'throne. It was again an ironic situation.
"Neah?" Allen asked Again and this time the Noah just sighed.
"Allen, if you're gonna ask me something just ask. It's not like I'm gonna bite you head off for an annoying question."
Allen just chuckled. Yeah. That was true. His eyes were a dark gray and his skin was sickly light as if he was fading away.
"Neah. When I was an Exorcist I said that I would fight you"
Neah just nodded then pulled himself up.
"I know that" He simple replied Allen wondered if he knew where he was going. He could read his mind couldn't he.
"I said that I wouldn't let you take control of my body. I said that I would never give in to you. That I would fight to the end." His hazed eyes turned to face the fourteenth and he smiled. It was a painful image. Like a blind man smiling to the murderer who would kill him.
"So tell me the truth Neah. I have already lost my willpower. I already feel so empty. Lifeless. Tell me the truth. Neah the fourteenth.
Are you been killing me?"
Allen honestly felt weird. Even though he couldn't feel anything and was feeling lifeless he could still feel one last thing. Like someone was trying to pull him from his left arm which didn't exist. He resorted his to his new hobby of sighing and shifted the weight onto his other leg. Neah didn't answer and was oddly quiet but that was obviously the reason. He was dying in more ways than one. Even after his resolve to not let the fourteenth take control of him he had lost before a fight could even start. It was so simple and even though he knew he still couldn't find the energy to care. He felt like a walking corpse as there was no pain, no sadness and no emotional resolve next. And that was why when Neah told him to do something he did it without question. He just listened and did whatever he was told like a puppet.
Hah, like a mad puppet.
What was the definition of mad anyway?
What did mad mean?
Mentally disturbed. Abnormal. Senseless. Those would all be words that described him. If Neah was the Noah of destruction then he would be dangerous as he was not only destroying his body but also his soul. And calmly at that. So easily as well. So easy that he didn't care. It just felt like all his previous pain and suffering would be taken away as it was being currently.
It was obvious that Neah was slowly killing him whether in or unintentionally though he didn't know.
He watched as Link slipped on his coat for the mission as it was going to be cold and hopefully snowing and Allen couldn't help the serene smile that graced his face. Ironic wasn't it. His first memories actually started in snow along with all the major events and now it would end in snow as well. That was his setting. His background. Pure, white snow that would be tainted with black dirt till it became tainted and dirty ice that would only cause mayhem.
Then just like that he would melt and disappear.
Link took his time to straighten out his jacket and just before he was ready to leave for their mission loud knocks echoed on his door and Allen just mentally groaned.
Now what?
He opened the door and just stared at the invader. Antonio. Of course it was Antonio, why wouldn't it be? Something told him that this bastard would invade his personal space again. Looks like now was the time. He did kill someone, didn't he? And he stabbed him.
Allen simply turned ever so slightly to watch over his shoulder as Antonio forcefully barged past him to Link and he silently listened to the whispered conversation between the two. Link then just nodded and left the room leaving Allen and his 'replacement'. It really was ironic wasn't it? Everything was being broken just like that and then Allen turned to face Tim without much energy left. Tim would record this correct?
"What would you like from me now?" 'As if you haven't taken everything the way it is'
Antonio didn't answer and just slid something long and shiny that it reflected the light of the room. Of course.
"Came back to finish what you started?" He asked again. Then held his breathe as Antonio dropped his jacket showing off the sharp glint that the dagger had.
This was going to test whether or not his body was truly dying to the point where he would be able to feel pain.
When Antonio finally left the room it was half past two. Time for them to leave for their mission. Time for Allen to struggle to gain his breathe.
Although he didn't feel pain it didn't mean that he didn't feel anything. In fact, he felt heavy. His chest felt like a thick weight that refused to let up.
It was a suffocating weight where his body refused to taking oxygen, instead resorting to spitting out a colony of red blood cells that were currently deemed useless.
Allen tried to gasp under the pressure but that only resulted in him choking and gurgling on his own blood that was being pump through his body but at a dangerous weight. He could feel it. Not the pain of open wounds but the pain of suffocating. But he couldn't pass out. He just couldn't. If his soul was still intact and not broken it would have been because he was scared of the consequences of giving up. He simply lay their clutching at the ground beneath him and feeling tears well up. This was too much. It wasn't what he was used to and therefore it was unbearable.
Timcampy remained there silently almost not moving and it became ominous at how calm the golem was. In fact, it was heart wretching as the golem was reacting like everything else. It gave him motivation. He wasn't meant to die here. That's what he believed. He couldn't die there. Not yet. Not now.
With force he pushed himself up leaning on the bedrail gasping to clear his lungs. Just a bit longer. Just a little bit longer. Just let him live a bit longer. And at that moment Allen begged. He begged for just one week. One week so that he would feel completely empty that he wouldn't die in suffering. If he was going to die he just wanted to die peacefully. Without suffering.
Do you need help? A soft voice echoed almost around the room and Allen laughed. A sickening laugh. Blood spewing out of his mouth onto the floor and staining his shirt crimson more. Help from the one killing him as well. That was funny. In fact everything was funny. He was actually laughing. Would he die laughing or still be scared. Allen simply laughed.
"Can you help me?" He choked amusement heavy on his voice despite everything.
"Can you really help me?"
When there was no answer he finally came to a stop and cried staring at his sealing. Tear pouring freely from his eyes and simply cried. Could he really be helped? Would he even find salvation in death? Would he ever really be happy or would he just remain lying to himself? Would he ever be free?
"If you can, just help me go on this mission"
Allen never realised how long of a walk it was to get from his room to the arks gate. It was even funny how he was getting there or how he got the new stab wounds cleaned up and fixed.
Then again, everything was pretty funny to him. It felt like that a very weak sign of desperation were the only things that he could feel anymore. Allen just wondered when that feeling would also end. But It was really ironic how he was the one that asked for help and now that he was receiving it he was loathing himself. Asking help from someone who in total was killing you. Not the smartest idea, agreed? Now Neah had apparently killed a bit more of him off and this time he felt it. He felt something just disappear and even though he didn't know what it was and the memory of it was disappearing he just remembered losing another part of himself. Then afterwards everything was restored in an incomplete sort of way. His body was light and painless. Empty as well. Then he didn't even realise as his body took over for him. His body took over, or more like the Noah did and before he knew it he was walking to the gate clutching his stomach.
Allen just smiled when he got there feeling and unusually humour out of everything. Why he needed to clutch his stomach he didn't know but maybe he needed to act like he was hurt. Still, everything was unusually funny and now he felt no desperation. Absolutely nothing now. Just humour and a thirst for excitement. When he got down the stairs he was met with the people that he was going to be accompanying on his mission and could only grin. He could only imagine another reaction on his part but now everything was simply the same.
It was going to be fun indeed.
As he was now truly a clown and it looked like his chapter wasn't finished just yet.