Tuesday
6:30 pm
"What do you think of going shopping with me today after school? I've got this party coming up, and for that I need to find a new dress to wear," I lied to her, knowing that I couldn't exactly tell her that I had heard her conversation with her friend last night.
Gemma looked up at me with surprised etched on her face. "You've never been shopping with me, why would you want to now?"
"I think you have a great fashion sense and you could help me pick out a very nice dress. And then we could even find you something," I stated, perhaps lying once again.
Gemma wore dresses but only when it was very necessary, otherwise she stuck with her jeans and t-shirts.
Gemma humourlessly chuckled, then shook her head at me. "I do not know anything about fashion. Half the things I wear are not even girl-like."
I placed my napkin on the table after wiping my mouth with it, and then nodded. She wouldn't agree like this, I had to find another way.
"If that's what you want, then it's fine with me," I spoke. "I'll take someone else, but for now I've got to go to work and you have to go to school."
Gemma fell into thought for a moment, a brooding expression taking over her features.
"This is going to be only a one time thing," she said, as I got up from my seat. "I'm only going shopping with you because I have nothing else to do."
A smile immediately made its way to my lips at her words.
"Great. I'll pick you up after school, okay? Do you want me to drop you off to school right now?" I questioned, excitement bubbling up inside of me at the thought of going shopping with my daughter after years.
"No thanks," she answered. "Don't think just because I agreed to one thing that I'll suddenly want to spend all my time with you. The less I have to see of you, the better for me."
1:07 pm
I stared at the bouquet of roses placed in front of me, looking at how almost half of the roses had withered away. There was once a time when they all were full of live, a deep red that filled my black and white room with colour.
There were only eleven left now. Meaning that I had eleven more days to live.
It reminded me of Rome. My life without him was empty, and unadventurous at one point. But, when he entered my life something had changed. He showed me a new side to the world; a happier side.
I had began to move on from the past with him, and somewhere along the way I truly believed everything would be alright.
Yet, I was wrong. We never planned for Gemma to come into this world, but when she did we both tried to create a loving world for her. Rome believed I should have stayed home with Gemma when she was young, insuring that she needed a mother not a nanny. I tried my best. For four years I gave up my job, my dreams to take care of her, but then I couldn't take it.
I felt as though I was giving it all away. It was also around that time that Rome became careless. He lost his job, and soon we were suffering from financial crisis. I was offered a job as an assistant at the very company I worked at today, and without thinking much of it, I took it.
How could I have thrown the chance away when I knew I could fix everything? My family could have a better future, I had always thought. Gemma would never have to feel as though she couldn't get whatever she wanted.
And so I had made a decision, keeping in mind that one day Gemma would grow up, and that Rome and I still had a life to live.
However, now even after achieving everything I wanted, I felt as if I had lost it all. The more I tried reaching out for something, the further it got from me.
I lost my daughter, my husband, my family on the way to achieving success, and in all those years now was finally the time when I had looked back at it all.
And maybe, just maybe I was late in doing so.
A knock at my door interrupted me from my thoughts, causing me to come back to reality.
"Come on in," I spoke waiting for the person to walk in.
Umar entered my office with his usual smile on his face and a folder in his hands.
"Afternoon Mrs. Wisconsin," he greeted. "There's just a few files I had to give to you and then I'll be on my way."
I nodded offering him a small smile.
While he placed the file on my desk, his eyes merely flickered over to the bouquet of roses on my table, a frown taking over his features.
"Did someone send you flowers again?" He mumbled in confusion.
"Forget about these roses, Umar. There's something I want to say to you," I told him.
"Yes?"
"You're the best assistant I could ever have, and if something were ever happen to me in the future I want you to promise me that you will take great care of this company," I said to him, sincerely knowing that he had the potential to take this company further after my death.
He seemed surprised at what I had said, but quickly composed himself and nodded. "I promise, Mrs. Wisconsin, and I want you to know that I'm glad I have a boss like you."
He didn't suspect a thing. He wouldn't realize until late that very soon he would have to keep his promise and make sure this company goes very far down the road.
4:05 pm
Without letting Gemma realize I was here shopping for her, I showed her different dresses around the mall that I thought would look nice on her while picking out a few for myself.
"I guess since we are buying a dress for myself, I think you should get something too. There are so many parties to go too all the time and I don't want you to think I don't get you anything," I told her, pushing her to try on a silky dress she had been eyeing for a while now as I had been searching around the store. "This will look great on you, I think."
Gemma shook her head, attempting to act as though she didn't like the dress I had handed her. But, I knew better than to believe her weak acting skills.
If she really wanted people to believe her she needed to start taking drama classes.
"I'm good. I'm not really the type of person who wears dresses," she stated, brushing back one of her side bangs. "Let's just go if you're done now, I'm tired."
She must have gotten her stubborn trait from me, it couldn't be from anyone else.
"I know you don't like dresses, but you should just try it. Come on, we don't have to buy it," I tried persuading her into wearing it.
At last she caved in and headed towards the fitting room.
I quietly waited outside the fitting room, tapping my left foot against the floor.
"They could've just given a mirror in here," she muttered. "Well I'm coming out now. Better not say anything bad about it."
I moved away from the door and instantly let a smile form on my lips when my eyes fell on my beautiful daughter.
The dress was a prefect fit for her, fitting nicely against her feminine shape. There was a silk band at the top, lining around the top of the bust. The gown flowed down her legs, and stopped an inch above her feet. It was the color of a tan opal. She stood straight, her arms by her side, and her shoulders a bit stiff as if she were uncomfortable. I would be too if it were my first time wearing a dress like that, but that didn't matter because she looked magnificent.
"Happy now?" She asked. "Now I'm taking this off, and no I don't want it."
She ran back into the dressing room before I could form a word. However, I knew that this dress was perfect for her, and no matter what she said I would buy it.
Wednesday
5:56 pm
As I sat on the window seat in my room, and stared out the window, I knew what my next step would be.
Rome would be returning tomorrow, and perhaps he would leave again soon with Gemma. I hadn't heard from him yet, and I was hoping when I did he would tell me that maybe we had another chance to live together again.
But, for now I needed to do something instead of simply waiting.
I was going to write to Gemma and Rome, as my last way to keep myself alive in their memories.
There was a lot I wanted to say. So much, that it couldn't all be said in words. I wanted them to understand me, to forgive me, and maybe to love me once more if it were possible.
And so I began to write my heart out on a paper, hoping that once they read it, it would make a difference.