Mrs. O'Leary (1)
There's a start to every fire, and I'm a burning man
You never cried over me, and I will be damned
If you ever really cared, I should cut off your hands
For stealing all my happiness, for filling my mouth with sand
The cat caught my fucking tongue
And that's when I was done
I couldn't blame you anymore
So none of it was fun
And then we both shook hands
Filled our shoes with sand
Left each other alone
We both drowned, we were both damned
And so we gave and took away each other's sanity
I didn't really love you, and you sure as hell didn't love me
And as all this hate filled us up and our mouths both gave way
Spitting out the venom, I want to spit right in your face
And the cat swallowed my tongue
And it sure made me look dumb
I loved you for a bit but all my hope cascades
Leave my life so sharp, so I don't have to see you fade
But you fade so violently
As you cut into me
How to Ruin People (2)
How to ruin a person, well don't get to know them first
Just learn their name, and assume, but not for the worst
And then when you spend some time with them, notice all their quirks
See it's so revealing, but revealing hurts
I don't love your flaws, but I love the idea
Of loving you well, loving without fear
We don't reveal much, so I made an image of you
Filled your brain with thoughts and words in mouth, too
You don't need to talk, please don't say a word
The idea of you is all I need, and it's all I ever heard
I can't accept you for your faults, so I'll just go blind
Gouge out my eyes and then check the time
Long enough to make it count as love
You don't need to talk, it's ok, life is rough
I'll fill your mouth with words and your words with joy
I'll ignore all of the weaknesses, what else is love for?
You have a sandbox brain, it's the glue that keeps me here
Making you into me, building you from my tears
I need fake love to clean me out
And feel real along the route
I may be shallow, but I cannot swim
Give me a float, because underwater's dim
Don't give me specifics, just play along
We should be happy, but I guess I was wrong
I can't fix you with my imagination
I was on the right train, but no one's at the station
Relationships are there to carry their fair load
I don't have enough friends to carry mine in tow
I'm stranded on an island but I have a telescope
So I can see everyone else, but they can't see me or know
I feel so isolated but I'm lost in a crowd
Lost in my own mind but I don't remember how
Mind Goes Numb (3)
Mind went numb but skin went deep
When I crashed the needle into me
And I wasn't angry or depressed
Around the time you left
But my mind went numb
And now who's the one depressed for the shitty things you've done?
Impaled myself once again
Impale my heart and buy more friends
With my jokes and with my sins
They fade away and it goes again
I'm my own goddamn best friend
My knives are whores and I play pretend
Wear a costume, I'm the prince
Of the stubborn people who don't repent
I should've prayed but I forgot that night
I'm too lazy to talk to God, alright
But I can find the time to hurt myself
I dug my hole deeper searching for hell
And my route to death had no signposts
A ramp into the ditch, and you should know
That they tried condescending but they stooped too low
When I fell from my high place and into the cold
I had a dream that she and I made up
And that's just another night I wish I never woke up
Dreams inside dreams and schemes inside schemes
Well what's the chance I die to wake up to a torture machine?
I'm my own goddamn best friend
My knives are whores and I play pretend
Wear a costume, I'm the prince
Of the stubborn people who don't repent
I should've prayed but I forgot that night
I'm too lazy to talk to God, alright
But I can find the time to hurt myself
I dug my hole deeper searching for hell
My mind went numb the day you left
Didn't know if I was angry or just depressed
Carving jack-o-lanterns into my arms
Just another scary face to drive me to more self harm.
Digging my Holes Deeper (4)
I want to study abroad, dig myself somewhere else
Weasel out of the place I am and the person I've become
I want to be somewhere else, where no one knows how I fell
Perhaps this someplace else I won't have to be someone
I dig my holes a little deeper
Where I met the grim reaper
Shook hands and made a deal
He didn't agree to the terms
That's why I'm here, I never learn
Dopamine for Sale (5)
I'm not a poet so don't expect me to say something clever
I'm not a doctor, I can't fix what you've severed
I can tell you it's ok but it won't be alright
I can tell you bad news or I can say "good night"
I'm not really good at this thing called emotion
I'm not really good at my own life
I'm not really good at this thing called devotion
I've set my fate, and it's sure tied tight
Dopamine for sale at a record high price
Serotonin in need and everyone wants to buy
Everyone's depressed
Nobody can rest
We're not really good at this weird thing called truth
We've set out fate, we'll profit from selling the noose
Nobody knows the source of the noise
We're losing our grip on this thing called joy
Good morning on the news
I'll tell you why it's not
Good night for the muse
Hell is getting more hot
Overcrowded lobbies and they overflow
The weeds are growing taller and they never mow
It's all in my head, well, no shit
Our mind's the only part of us that truly exists
We're vessels in the universe, floating along
We're not in control, but for some reason we hold on.