Niall stared at him, stunned. For a moment his mind ran riot as he told himself he could not be serious - could not possibly mean those unkind, cynical remarks that he'd almost negligently tossed at him.
Not after what had just happened between them - surely? All that passion and glory reduced to the level of a - trade-off? It couldn't be true.
But there was none of the former tenderness in the level dark gaze and no hint of amusement to soften the hard lines of the mouth that had set him ablaze with kisses such a short while before.
He found his voice at last. "You really think that is why -"
"Of course," Zayn interrupted coldly. "What other reason could there be for such a transformation? Or did you think I would share your naivete and assume your surrender was genuine and without strings?" He shook his head almost grimly. "You misjudge me, my sweet heart. "
And you, Niall thought, misjudge me. Completely. Because I gave you my heart as well as my body just now. God knows, I didn't expect love in return but if you'd spoken just one word of kindness my soul would have followed and I'd have been yours forever.
There were tears, thick and painful in his chest and burning his throat, but he would not weep in front of Zayn in case he thought it was just another play. Another trick to have his way over Shanaya.
Niall said, his voice shaking a little. "Yes, Mr. Malik. It seems that I have made a mistake. But it will never happen again."
It was torture having to leave the bed, naked under his sardonic gaze, in order to retrieve his shawl, but he did it, wrapping himself closely in its folds with hands that trembled, then walking to the door without looking back.
He managed to regain his room before he began to cry, throwing himself across the bed, and stifling his sobs in his pillow.
And when the first storm had subsided, he got up stiffly and went to the bathroom, standing under the warm torrent of the shower, letting it wash away all trace of anything and everything that had happened that night.
Wishing at the same time that it was possible to remove the memories and the regrets as easily as the tear-stains.
I should have known, he thought wearily as he dried himself. Should have realized what Zayn would think when I just - turned up in his bedroom like that. Except, of course, I wasn't thinking because I totally forgot to use any reason and let myself be carried away by the force of my emotions. By my need for him.
I was stupid - stupid - and no that it's all gone wrong I have no one to blame but myself.
But, dear God, I wanted him so badly. Wanted to know at last what it was to be his. And to give him everything.
Instead, he now had to come to terms with the inescapable fact that becoming Zayn's sexual partner for a brief while did not make him anything noble, he thought bitterly, and it never would.
He'd proved nothing except that he was still a child - a pathetic child, like poor little Shanaya, hoping each day for a love that would never be offered. And having to wake each morning to the somber reality of disappointment.
He chose a clean nightdress, straightened the disordered bed and crept under the covering sheet to lie wakeful and wretched, his awakened body restless. And it was not until dawn streaked the sky that he finally fell into an uneasy sleep.
It was late when he awoke, and as he sat pushing his hair out of his eyes, he saw the bedroom door open and Hara appear almost as if she's received some signal.
"Mr. Malik says to let you sleep," she announced. "He has important visitors from mainland, talking business this morning. I bring you breakfast here."
Presumably because he doesn't want my presence known, Niall thought bleakly. Though I'm sure the fact he has a mistress will come as no surprise to any of his guests.
"And am I to stay here in my room until the business is concluded?" He asked tautly, as he drank his orange juice and spread apricot jam on a warm roll.
Hara looked shocked. "By no means, Mr. Horan. Master Zayn suggests you spend the day by the pool. He will join later when other men leave."
Niall poured some coffee. He said woodenly. "Jut as he wishes," and saw a fleeting look of relief on the older woman's face.
But while he's safely occupied with his talks, he thought, I have some business of my own to conduct. Because I refuse to just vanish from Shanaya's life, no matter whose child she may be. It would be too cruel. So, whatever he says, I will see her again, even if it is only to say goodbye.
And if I'm simply justifying everything he said to me last night - so be it. He would expect no better.
His breakfast finished, he dressed in brief candy stripped shorts and a matching halter top in blue and white, and set off with his book, sunglasses and tanning oil for the pool, where a lounger had already been placed for him under the shade of a parasol.
Making sure I obey orders and keep out of harm's way, he thought wryly. And for the first hour he did exactly that, although it would be unwise to wait too long before he departed on his mission, he decided, getting up from the lounger.
He deliberately uncapped his sun oil, and left his book lying casually open on the lounger, as if he only expected to be gone for a few moments, then made his way to the far side of the pool area and through a gap in the hibiscus hedge.
There was no one about, the air hot and still, apart from the drone of insects. None of the security men was visible, not even the obnoxious Yanni, so presumably everyone's attention was firmly focused on the meeting inside the villa.
Besides, he thought, Zayn would no doubt consider that his word was law, and he would not dare to flout it.
Well he was wrong about me last night, he told himself defiantly, fighting download that the memory of his words engendered. And he's wrong again today although he'll never know that.
All the same Niall found himself hurrying, trying to figure out what he will say when he arrived at the house- whether or not he would challenge Soula over her assertions. And why she had made them.
But its probably better not to ask, he thought. Instead keep it short and simple. Explain that I may be leaving Bradford quite soon, and won't have time for more visits. Because it could even be the truth.
Sighing, he rounded the final bend in the track and halted, staring with disbelief and sudden fear at the small crumpled pile of pink lying on the sandy ground straight ahead of him. With an overturned tricycle beside it.
For a second Niall remained motionless, then he broke into a run, dropping to his knees beside Shanaya.
The little girl's eyes were closed, she was breathing rapidly and her skin looked sallow. There was a bruise on her forehead and even Niall's untrained eyes could see that one small wrist looked an odd shape.
His heart sank. His first aid experience was non existent but he seemed to remember that fractures should be supported.
He threw his head back and yelled Soula's name as loudly as he could. There was no answer and after a moment he shouted for her again, adding a loud "Come quickly!"
But there was still no reply.
Shut up in the house no doubt, Niall thoughts bitterly. Smoking and reading those picture magazines of hers. So God knows how long Shanaya's been lying here.
But what on earth was the woman doing, allowing her to come out unsupervised? Because he could see what had happened. The tricycle's front wheel had hit a hidden root and Shanaya had been thrown off.
Well I'm not leaving her, he told himself with grim resolve . I won't let her come round and fine she's alone and in pain. I can carry her to the house, where I shall say a few things to Madam Soula. But first I have to do something about her wrist.
After a brief hesitation he stripped off his halter neck and managed to fashion it into a makeshift sling. As he gently moved Shanaya's arm into position, the child moved faintly and opened bewildered eyes.
"Its all right, little one." Niall said quietly, and stroked the tumbled dark hair as the little girl began to cry. "I'll try not to hurt you but we need to find help."
He got to his feet, lifting the child carefully his arms it was only about 50 yards to the house but when they reached it the gate was standing wide open and the door was also ajar.
Soula must have realized that Shanaya was missing and gone to search, he told himself as he deposited the whimpering child on a couch by a crocheted blanket, at the side of the room, and surrounded her with cushions.
His first task was to find a tea towel or something similar and make a proper sling so that he could retrieve his top.
Even in front of Shanaya he felt thoroughly self conscious without it, and he had no wish for Soula to return and find him bared to the waist, as he could well imagine the kind of sniggering contempt he'd have to endure.
As he crossed to the small dresser to look for a towel he noticed that the votive light which burned in front of the icon had been allowed to go out - only to realize in the next instant that the icon itself wasn't there.
For a moment he hesitated, then made for the flight of steep wooden stairs in the corner. Shanaya's room was tidy enough but its sheets rumpled and one pillow lying on the floor, with yet another over flowing ashtray on the night table.
As Niall looked around him, wrinkling his nose at the stale atmosphere he saw that the clothes cupboard was standing open and empty, as were the drawers in the adjoining chest.
My God, Niall thought, drawing an appalled breathe. She's not out searching at all. She's - she's gone. She knew I was coming so she's abandoned Shanaya and skipped.
And if I hadn't disobeyed Zayn the child might have been left to lie on the path, alone and injured, with potentially disastrous consequences.
His nails curled into the palms of his hands. "The witch," he said aloud, his voice shaking. "The evil, disgusting , bloody witch!"
He heard a little wail from the room below an ran for the stairs.
"Its all right darling," he called. 'I'm coming.'
"So I see." Said Zayn.
He stood in the open doorway, dark against the brightness of the sun, his hand on his hips, his face a mask of anger carved from granite. He was wearing dark pants and a white shirt, and his wide silk tie was pulled loose.
Niall halted at the foot of the stairs, his hands lifting to cover his bare breasts in an instinctive gesture of modesty. As if, he thought with a pang, there was any part of his body he had not seen - or touched - or kissed.
He said. "Oh Zayn, I'm so thankful that you're here."
"Are you?" His mouth curled into a smile that was grim and derisive at the same time. He looked past him at the stairway. "Who is up there?" His tone was politely enquiring.
Niall stared at him. "Are you mad? What are you talking about? There's no one."
"I am expected to believe that?" Zayn took a step forward. "Just as you tried to persuade me you came here each say to visit a child who is nothing to you?" He shook his head slowly, his eyes going over Niall's slender frame. "I think not. So I ask you again, Niall, who have you left in the bedroom?"
"Not a soul. The house is empty. See for yourself, if you want." Niall's voice shook a little. "Soula's left, and taken all her things. I only discovered it when I came back here with Shanaya. She was in the Grove and you see, I found her. She's had an accident and broken her arm, so I had to use my top to make a sling for her." He added, glancing down at himself and biting his lip.
"I saw the icon was missing and went to check upstairs. I found that Soula had - gone - vanished - and if I hadn't come today Shanaya would have been totally alone because no one else ever comes here. God knows what might have happened to her. she's only a baby." He went in, his voice cracking. "A baby who desperately needs to see a doctor she you stand there making - ludicrous accusations.'
He saw the Pakistani turn as if aware for the first time of the child in her nest of pillows. He walked over to the couch and bent to look at the small arm in it's makeshift support, and Niall heard him say something quiet and savage under his breath.
"How did this happen?" He demanded.
"She fell of her tricycle. She bumped her head too."
"Yes." He straightened, discarding his tie, then stripping off his shirt. He tossed it to Niall . "cover yourself." He directed brusquely.
'Oh, what does it matter?"
"It matters to me," he said. 'We have to return to the villa and I do not choose that any man but myself should see you even half naked."
The crisp fabric was still warm from his body and he was aware of the scent of the cologne he used as he slipped his arms into the sleeves and fumbled the buttons into their holes.
"What's going to happen?" He asked, as Zayn bent and lofted the child into his arms with infinite care.
"She shall be taken to the hospital. It is small but efficient and she will receive excellent treatment. However the journey there will take about an hour or maybe more."
"And - afterwards?" Niall watched him carry Shanaya to the door. Look at her, he begged silently. Oh my dating, look at her and see what I saw - please.
"Decisions will have to be made," he returned coldly. 'Also Soula must be found. Wherever she's hiding." He added continuously. "She may have abandoned her charge but there is no way that she could have left the island."
Niall had to trot to keep up with Zayn's long stride. "Why did you come here ? I thought you were in a meeting."
"It ended much sooner than I expected." He responded bleakly. "And in agreement, which I also did not anticipate. Once my colleagues had departed, I look for you. When you could not be found I guessed where you must be."
"I had to do it." Niall said in a low voice. "You must understand that. And soula must have known that too."
"It was the risk she had no right to take," the Pakistani said harshly.
After that there was silence between them until they reached the Villa, where Zareen met them with an appalled look at the small crying burden in his employer's arms then burst into a flood of agitated Arabic.
Zayn listened his head bent, his mouth hardening.
He turned to Niall. "Soula may have left Bradford after all." He said harshly. 'The boat I use for night fishing has also disappeared and so it seems has Yanni, one of the security men." He paused. 'Did you ever see them together?"
Niall bit his lip. 'No but she was often missing in the afternoons."
He said something under his breath . 'then hara will tend the child until Liam returns with the launch and she can be taken to the hospital." His tone was brusque. 'There is nothing more for you to do."
Niall faces him, chin lifted defiantly. 'On the contrary, Mr Malik," he said crisply. "I shall go to the hospital with her. She's frightened and in pain, and she needs one familiar face around. Someone who actually care about her." He paused. 'And - in case you've forgotten - her name is Shanaya."
"That is not your concern -" he began but Niall interrupted him fiercely.
"So you've told me but I've just made it so. I'm going to my room to put on some proper clothes so bring her there to me please."
He walked past Zareen who looked as if he'd been poleaxed and made for the stairs, aware that Zayn was staring after him.
In his room, he dragged off his shirt , wrenching open the buttons with such force that he sent several of them skittering across the floor.
"To hell with it," he muttered sending the shirt to join them. "He'll have a thousand others to take its place."
Niall removed his shorts replacing them with a green dress, full skirted and short sleeved , grabbed at random from the wardrobe.
He was dragging a comb through his hair when Zayn knocked abruptly and entered with Shanaya , crying loudly and fretfully now in his arms , and an anxious Hara close behind.
"Liam has been contacted," he said. "He will be here very soon." Zayn paused. "The boat has been seen drifting perhaps with engine trouble, by some fishermen."
Niall said stonily. 'I wouldn't care if it had blown up." He sat down on a chair by the window. "Give shanaya to me please."
Zayn said more gently. "Let Hara take her, Niall love."
"No," the blonde shook his head. 'I began this. So I'll look after her while she's here. After all you can't pretend that anyone here wants her, not when all you did your best to keep us apart." He took the sobbing child gently on his lap, looking down at the creased and dirty pink dress.
"And whatever you decide for her Mr Malik, she'll need new clothes." He said. 'Normal things too. Not more of these awful party frocks that Soula picked for her. Because her life's going to be no party."
"Niall," Zayn's voice was quiet. 'Let us talk about this."
"And say what? That I shouldn't have interfered? I think its already been said."
Niall bent his head. "And I suppose I have to agree with you. If I hadn't - intervened as I did, Soula would never have dared to go off like this and Shanaya wouldn't have been put in danger." He paused. "Also you wouldn't have been forced to remember your - your marriage and it's unhappiness. Is that what you want to hear?"
"No," the tanned man said. "But why should you believe me?" He turned and left the room, signalling Hara to accompany him.
Niall leaned back, careful not to jolt Shanaya's injured arm. He felt very tired suddenly with the beginnings of a headache. But that was nothing compared with the desolation inside him.
I wanted to help, he thought wretchedly, but instead I'm simply making everything much worse. Because this accident will have to be explained somehow and that will trigger all the problems that Zayn most wants to avoid.
And now, he realized, to add to her feelings of guilt, the child's warm body was curling trustingly into hers and her sobs were beginning to subside a little.
"Try and sleep darling," Niall said softly as Shanaya's thumb stole to her mouth and her eyelids dropped. "The doctor will stop your poor arm aching very soon." and quietly he began to sing. "There were ten green bottles, hanging on the wall...."
He was over halfway through the song, deliberately allowing his voice to sink lower, watching Shanaya's face relax and her breathing steady and deepen, when he felt his own skin begin to tingle as if he was being watched, Knowing that there was only one person in the world who could trigger that particular reaction.
But when, at last, he ventured to glance towards the door way, it was empty. I must have been imagining things, he told himself with an inward sigh. Or just indulging in some wishful thinking.
And his song was finished and he was sitting cradling the sleeping child, prey to his unhappy thoughts, well before Hara came to tell him that Liam and the launch had returned and it was time to go.
..
The hospital on Bradford might not be large but Niall saw at once that it was scrupulously clean and efficiently run as Zayn had said.
Dr. Devine, who came to take charge of Shanaya, was a handsome looking man in his early thirties, his eyes calm and kind, as Niall haltingly explained there had been an accident with a tricycle.
"These things happen with small children," was his comment. He gave Niall a thoughtful look. "And you, Missus. Who are you?"
Niall said quietly. "I'm a boy and I'm Shanaya's nanny." and did not look at Zayn, standing beside him like a statue.
Shanaya was borne away to have her arm set and plastered, and to be checked for any signs of concussion after the bump on the head.
Niall and Zayn retired to a small, square waiting room, silently taking chairs on its opposite side . After a while, Niall ventured to steal a look at him from under his lashes,and saw that his face was set like a stone, and that he was staring into space with eyes that seemed to see nothing.
After half an hour had passed, with nothing being said on either side, they were joined by Liam. Zayn listened to his murmured words, then rose, looking across to Niall.
"The police have boarded the boat and arrested Yanni and Soula," he said brusquely," I am required to help deal with this matter and I must also arrange for Costas, who goes dishing with me at night to collect the boat. There will be statements and maybe a question of charges." He paused. "Will you be alright - alone here?"
"Yes," the blonde replied curtly. "Of course."
And being alone is something Ii shall have to get used to.
He paused. "Did you say you go fishing at night?"
Zayn paused at the door, brows lifting. "Sometimes," he said. "If I find I cannot sleep. Why do you ask?"
"It just seems - an odd thing to do." Niall returned, thinking of all the times his footsteps had passed the door of his room in the darkness.
"But then," The Pakistani responded. "So many other things seem to be happening in my life, Niall." And he went.
Over an hour had passed before Dr. Devine returned with the news that the fracture had been reduced, the bump on the head was just what it seemed and nothing more serious, and the little girl would soon recover from the anesthetic she'd been given while her arm received attention.
"Oh thank heavens." Niall sank back on his chair. "I've been so worried."
"You must not blame yourself, young man." The doctor told him kindly, his name tag spelling out the name JOSH DEVINE. "And nor, I am sure, does Mister Malik. A healthy child must be allowed to run and play. And little Shanaya, in spite of her unpromising beginning, is now fit and well. Her father must rejoice to see it." He glanced round. "He has gone somewhere?"
"To the police station, I think." Nniall said awkwardly. "There's been a - problem with the previous nanny."
"No, no, no, he should marry again." The doctor said. "Provide his daughter with a mother's acre. After all young, virile man cannot be expected to grieve forever." He frowned a little. "I think it haunts him still that he was not present at the birth or at his wife's side when she so sadly died. But with a premature child like Shanaya these things are not always possible to arrange. I just thank the good God that, after a struggle, we were able to save her for him, so he did not have a double tragedy to bear."
Niall stared at Josh. "You say Shanaya was - premature?" He shook his head. "I- I didn't know that. " He hesitated. "How early was she?"
"Barely seven months." Josh sighed. "And so tiny - so fragile. For days she hovered between life and death."
Niall said urgently. "Did Zayn - Mr. Malik, I mean - know this? How delicate Shanaya was - and why?"
"He was in shock after the death of Madame Edwards. Like a man living through a nightmare. My colleague Dr. Beales decided it would be wrong to burden him with the possibility of further sadness."
Josh smiled suddenly. "And it did not happen. The Holy Virgin had the child in her protection and she was spared, to become healthy and happy." He spread his hands. "So what was said or not said at the time surely cannot matter. Not now. Not anymore."
"On the contrary," Niall said softly, his heart lifting. "I think it could matter very much, Dr. Devine. Very much indeed."
AN/ 4.2K WORDS IS A LOT FOR ME TO WRITE. I'VE BEEN ON THIS SHIT SINCE YESTERDAY!
just one more chapter to go!
OKAY HOW MANY OF YOU GUYS HAVE FRIZZY HAIR? LIKE IT'S NOT EVEN WAVY AND IT'S NOT EVEN STRAIGHT. IT'S JUST FUCKED UP??? BECAUSE I HAVE THAT KIND OF STUPID HAIR AND I'M PLANNING ON GETTING IT KERATIN STRAIGHTENED BECAUSE I SWEAR, NOTHING IS WORSE THAN HAVING TERRIBLE HAIR. LIKE U CAN'T EVEN WALK OUTSIDE UNLESS U SPEND HOURS TAMING THEM AND APPLYING SHIT AMOUNTS OF HAIR SPRAYS AND THEN THERE IS THE CONSTANT COMMENT U GET FROM YOUR FRIENDS WHO HAVE AMAZING HAIR AND THEY ARE GIVING U TIPS TO HAVE BETTER HAIR BUT IT JUST DOESN'T WORK AT ALL ON MY HAIR. I SWEAR I HATE MY HAIR SO MUCH. I WOULD TRADE MY SOUL TO GET BEAUTIFULLY STRAIGHTENED HAIR !
APART FROM THIS:
Thoughts on the chapter?
thoughts on niall defying zayn once again?
thoughts on soula running away ?
thoughts on shanaya getting injured?
do you think zayn will ever accept the little girl?
do you think zayn loves niall?
what do you think is going to happen to yanni and soula now that they have been caught?
thoughts on the information josh gave to niall? how is zayn going to react to that?
next update at 60+ votes and comments!