AMBER FLAMES CREATED heat that made the dry branches crackle. Sparks in the form of small specks of gold flew into the night with the aid of the breeze, drifting over their heads and into the dark, eventually dissipating into nothingness. The small fire brought much-needed warmth to their cold bodies. However, it also brought about an air of danger and a fear of getting caught.
Devora shivered.
She knew that it wasn't a good idea to light a fire when there were still people out there hunting them down. The light from the fire was a beacon that could draw their enemies to their exact location. Yet, because of her injured leg, she was in no position to keep moving and Nathan needed rest from carrying her for long distances. With such a weak body, and on top of that an injury, Devora was practically turning blue from the cold. She desperately needed the warmth.
"Are you sure it's okay to light a fire?" She asked again, voice timid.
'We'll get caught,' she wanted to say. Yet, she pursed her lips tightly, changing the next line. After all, it was her fault that Nathan had to start a fire. If he hadn't found out she was practically freezing to death, he would've just let the hours go by without a fire. He seemed more than capable enough for that.
Chewing on her bottom lip, she said, "I'm not that cold, actually. Maybe we should douse the flames. We can't be sure how close those guys are to finding us."
Under his breath, Nathan snorted unceremoniously.
"You'll die of hypothermia if we do that. Your lips are practically blue already." Before she could squeeze in a word of rebuttal, a jacket was thrown her way, smacking onto her face before she tugged it off with a frown. "Put it on," Nathan instructed. "You need it more than I do."
Devora hesitantly reached out, grabbing hold of the jacket with quaking fingers. She held the fabric, fists clenched tightly around it before eventually shrugging it on as best as she could.
All the while, she was careful not to move her leg too much. Even the slightest of movements brought about an immense surge of pain. It felt like a thousand knives were constantly digging into her flesh, scraping at it to draw blood. However, in reality, it was just one small wound. It was something someone like Nathan probably wouldn't even have batted an eyelid at if it were on him instead.
Once again, Devora was reminded of the vast difference between both of them. While Nathan was a sturdy rock that had endured years of harsh rain and storms, Devora thought of herself as a weak spring bloom. If a boot had stepped over her, she was as good as gone.
Edging closer to the fire, Devora tried to get as close as possible without burning herself. Her arms were stretched out, fingers nearly grazing the tip of the flames, eyes watching the red flower dance intensely as her breaths slowed down to match. She was mesmerized by the dazzling glow, its warmth sending her into a dazed state, like a moth charmed to the light that would soon end its life.
Seated a distance away, Nathan began to tally his supplies, counting whatever leftover portions of food rations they had as well as medicine. Once he was done, he moved onto his mini collection of firearms. He had four pistols stored away somewhere on his body beforehand, now all laid out on the forest floor. With a cloth in hand, he wiped the dirt off of the one he had used earlier on while they were escaping the group of thugs.
Every time he looked up from the task at hand, Nathan would catch Devora staring. She quickly looked back down but the surprised expression on her face couldn't be missed by Nathan's keen, trained eyes. His lips quirked into a brief smirk before returning to wiping down his weapons.
Above the two, the stars dotted the heavens in an incredibly majestic manner. Imaginary lines connected the burning lights, forming splendid drawings that came to life with the use of imagination. It was as if the gods had placed great detail when drawing out the dots in the skies, planning for them to meet ever so beautifully. They formed images that would come alive, seen even by the blind when their stories were told.
Nathan's eyes trailed dangerously to the stars. To an untrained hopeless romantic, Nathan looked as though he was mapping out the constellations, embedding them within his deepest memories for artistic reasons. However, the truth was far from it. They were still on a time crunch and his job was still ongoing. In reality, he was simply plotting the fastest way back to their meeting point before his punishment would grow even more severe.
By showing this small act of kindness of allowing them to rest for the night, Nathan would be risking everything in return. His safety, his family's safety, and perhaps even their lives. He knew that his immediate superior, Julius Cain, was not a man that would stop to negotiate, especially if there was nothing that could be gained immediately. At the current moment, Nathan was already tugging at the limits. One more mistake on his part and it could be the last mistake he ever made.
"Aren't you cold without your jacket?" A croaky voice snapped Nathan's attention back to the present, his eyes shifting away from the skies to focus on the doe-eyed girl. Her large blue eyes were illuminated by the silver of the moon, shining ever so brightly as it danced in contrasting colors with the fire that sat in front of her. "You're sitting so far away from the fire too."
"I'll be fine." His reply was ever so casual even though his hands instinctively reached to rub at his own arms.
The cold that surrounded them was not comfortable by any means but it wasn't the worst he had experienced. He was brought up in much harsher conditions. His experience made their current situation seem like a walk in the beautiful local park on a bright spring day.
Devora's attention was completely fixated on the strange and mysterious boy. Unbeknownst to him, she was examining him, questioning his every move, however, not out of malice or fear but rather pure curiosity. Nathan acted as though he was a boy that grew up in the land of horrors, left to brave the harshest winds and fiercest conditions. There were too many scars on his body that marked stories Devora wasn't brave enough to ask about again. She shouldn't have mentioned the one that ran from the base of his neck to the back of his head. After all, they weren't that close. She was in no position to pry.
Nevertheless, she ached to know more about the enigmatic person that rescued her. It didn't matter what she could get out of him. She just wanted to know more. Anything will do.
Devora cleared her throat, shifting a little to ease the growing tension on her injured leg. Once she found a comfortable position, she raised her voice once more to ask, "What's your favorite color?"
Hit by an unexpected question, Nathan stared questioningly at the girl. He raised an eyebrow in surprise, trying to deduce her intentions but found no hostility in those round eyes of hers.
"Blue," he answered hesitantly. "What's yours?"
"Oh, many things." She sighed. A small smile, almost unnoticeable if it weren't for the flickering flame illuminating her face, graced her features. Devora stretched out her hand towards the fire as if beckoning it closer to her own body. "I love the red of each flame, the blue of serene skies, the luscious green of forests, and the yellow that dyes each dawn and dusk. In short, every color is beautiful to me and for more reasons than just one.
Brown eyes wide with amusement and wonder, Nathan shifted slightly closer.
"Why is it then?"
"Why is what?" She echoed, asking.
"Why is it that you love every color, every shade, every hue? Why?"
"Should there really be a reason for liking something?"
Devora smiled, leaning on her right arm, palms flat on the ground for support.
"But I assume it is because I was brought up taught to appreciate everything in life. Even though they might not appreciate me back and even though they might take it further and end up hurting me, they're essentially always there. I can depend on them to always be there. They're a constant in my life and we don't have too many of those. It's sort of like how the sun rises each morning without fail and gets engulfed by the horizon every evening, or like how the stars will still sparkle even when they are covered by dark storm clouds so that we can't see them. Like how the green of the forest will always remain that shade of gorgeous emerald if we care enough to nurture, or how the sea is always a vibrant blue in the day, reflecting the skies."
Pausing, she breathed in and out slowly. Her eyes seemed glazed over, her mind trapped in a sea of thoughts within her own head. She didn't seem to be there right now even though her body was physically present. In truth, her thoughts were far away.
"Maybe," she continued, voice shaking. "Maybe that's why I love every color. That's why I've loved everything life has ever thrown my way. That's because every shade, every hue, every color of life brightens my very being. And it's only because of this, life is worth living."
"But..." Nathan piped up. "You said it just now. You implied that there is something you don't love."
Devora tilted her head to one side. "Did I?"
"Yes." Nathan looked straight in Devora's eyes, jaw clenched and irises burning. "Yourself."
Silence engulfed the two. No one knew what should be said to clear the tension.
In the end, Devora was the one that spoke first. Looking down at the ground, she murmured, "Yeah... I guess I did. I guess I do."
"If you can afford to love the people that don't deserve it, I think one day, you should be able to learn to love yourself as well."
Nathan's words caused Devora to look up, her gaze snapping onto him in surprise.
"It's okay to hate yourself. As long as you don't push away the love others wish to show you. You don't have to love yourself for others to love you for who you are."
To Nathan, it might've been a piece of fleeting advice he might impart and then forget about. For Devora, it was the permission she never knew she needed. Something in Devora cracked that night. Be it the walls she had built around her own heart or the ice that had formed beneath her skin. Whatever it may be, Nathan successfully pulled her back out into the daylight.
For the first time, that light seemed glorious.
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