*Her*
"...the lights on my tree
I wish you could see
I wish it ev'ry day
logs on the fire
fill me with desire
to see you and to say
that I wish you Merry Christmas..."
The same song has been played over more than twice in my head all day and no matter what, I don't try to ignore it or push it out of my mind.
I lay in bed facing the window and stare at the snow falling. My window starts to fog up and me, in the sentimental mood that I've rolled in all day, move to wipe it away. I want to see the snow. I want to see how beautiful-
My hands freeze up from me touching the bare glass and I slowly retract them and ball them up in my lap. I stay kneeling by my window and stare at the bright snow.
"...Happy New Year too
I've just one wish on this Christmas eve
I wish I were with you..."
I get up from in front of the window and grab my boots and gloves and my hat,
and walk out to my front lawn.
I look up and squint into the snow and watch my window from below and fall backwards into the snow.
The impact was cold and crunchy,
and I laugh at how ticklish it felt.
I move my arms out at my sides
up and
down
and up
and down
and my legs
up and down,
until I feel like I've carved out enough snow,
and I lay there for another few minutes
staring
at
the
sky
staring
at
the
snow.
I watch with anticipation as the snow falls on my face, dotting my cheeks like freckles.
I close my eyes and just lay there until I became numb.
"I wish I were with you..."